the "ask an american indian" thread

[mellowbonsai]

Theres a thread for whitey and asians, so i feel compelled to make a thread for native americans.

i'll start off saying that i'm three-quarters american indian blood... A quarter Oneida, a quarter Menominee, an eighth Stockbridge-Munsee (Band of Mohicans) and an eighth Mille Lacs (Band of Ojibwe aka Ojibwa aka Ojibway aka Chippewa). i'm culturally active... i dance mens traditional style powwow dance competitively, i sing and drum traditional songs, i can bead, build a wigwam, teepee, or longhouse.

Casinos, mascots, reservations, religion, language, whatever. Fire away.

[BTT]

How deep is the average Native American vagina?

[lilodxd]

son, since we are in their land, we must speak their language

HIHOWAREYA HIHOWAREYA

[chizzua]

What's your Native American name? and where do you get your peyote?

[chromesquared]

Theres a thread for whitey and asians, so i feel compelled to make a thread for native americans.

i'll start off saying that i'm three-quarters american indian blood... A quarter Oneida, a quarter Menominee, an eighth Stockbridge-Munsee (Band of Mohicans) and an eighth Mille Lacs (Band of Ojibwe aka Ojibwa aka Ojibway aka Chippewa). i'm culturally active... i dance mens traditional style powwow dance competitively, i sing and drum traditional songs, i can bead, build a wigwam, teepee, or longhouse.

Casinos, mascots, reservations, religion, language, whatever. Fire away.

Props to you for all of this, keeping your culture alive in the spite of everything that the US government has perpetrated against all native American peoples is no small feat. Having studied American history exstensively I have a great respect for your ancestors.

How many languages do you speak? What are their names??

[bee hee]

Are colleges actually as in love with you guys as much as they're made out to?

[mellowbonsai]

How deep is the average Native American vagina?

Depends on the tribe. American Indian women of tribes from further east, such as the Mohawk or Seneca have deeper vaginas; their people have been raped more frequently since contact was made from the Atlantic. The midwestern, western and south-western tribes did not have as much contact with these malicious individuals, and their natural uterine length has been preserved; it is as deep as the typical vagina.

HIHOWAREYA HIHOWAREYA

FINETHANKYOU FINETHANKYOU

What's your Native American name? and where do you get your peyote?

I don't have one. "Native American" names are commonly spiritual names. It is said in some american indian religions in the midwest that when you die, you are called upon from a distance by many names. If you want to go to the "native american heaven" you will follow the calls of your spiritual name. i am an atheist/agnostic (somewhere in between), and don't feel compelled to get a "native american" name. i'd be recieving a name under the false presumption that i believe in that particular tribal religion.

Peyote is also used in many american indian relgions, though significantly moreso in the plains/southwest tribes. Woodland and coastal tribes don't fuck around with that shit.

How many languages do you speak? What are their names??

i speak none. There is no one to teach me the languages. i live in milwaukee (cudahy to be precise, south of the city). Any of the native speakers or new speakers of the languages learn on the reservation and in reservation schools.

Are colleges actually as in love with you guys as much as they're made out to?

Yes and no. Depends on the college. Universities like UW-Madison are much more interested in recruiting ethnic minorities than colleges like NYU or Harvard.

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

nigga im a counselor at Camp Choppacustee.

[ghostdeini]

is it possible to do smoke-signals? because I would genuinely like to learn that shit

[Icarus]

I don't think Nickelodeon is an American Indian tribe, ghost.

[ghostdeini]

haha it was in reply to SOS' post

[mellowbonsai]

is it possible to do smoke-signals? because I would genuinely like to learn that shit

It is, but you're really limited in terms of what you can say. Your options are as follows:

"DINNERS READY"

"MY HOUSE/WIGWAM/TEEPEE/LONGHOUSE/ADOBE ABODE IS ON FIRE"

"BONFIRE PARTY AT MY HOUSE, NOW"

Etc.

[cureOne]

Depends on the tribe. American Indian women of tribes from further east, such as the Mohawk or Seneca have deeper vaginas; their people have been raped more frequently since contact was made from the Atlantic. The midwestern, western and south-western tribes did not have as much contact with these malicious individuals, and their natural uterine length has been preserved; it is as deep as the typical vagina.

.

Uh I find this pretty hard to believe. This is not the way genetics works.

[Vitamian]

Is alcoholism really that big of a problem on your reservations?

When will the Indian fight back?

[lilodxd]

"MY HOUSE/WIGWAM/TEEPEE/LONGHOUSE/ADOBE ABODE IS ON FIRE"

how does this look different from the other signals?

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

three questions:

1- whatever happened to that old injun from those commercials about pollution in the 70s...the one who shed a tear?

2- is "Prarie Nigg(a)er" an acceptable term of endearment/ethnic slur for your people?

3 - Do you like the new Redman album?

[arem]

three questions:

1- whatever happened to that old injun from those commercials about pollution in the 70s...the one who shed a tear?

2- is "Prarie Nigg(a)er" an acceptable term of endearment/ethnic slur for your people?

3 - Do you like the new Redman album?

1. Did you know he was Italian and not a Native American? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crying_indian

2. Umm, no. Redskin will do just fine.

3. Redman hasn't been good in a long, long time.

[macuser3of5]

q. What do you call an white guy surrounded by Native Americans?

a. Gambler

q. What do you call an Native American surrounded by white guys?

a. Alcoholic

[mr fluffernutter]

Uh I find this pretty hard to believe. This is not the way genetics works.

You're a smart boy.

[wEstSidE]

how do you feel about cultural preservation. i.e. do you think cultures need to be preserved or do you think living cultures should be allowed to change with the times.

[Begåvningsreserven]

what's your opinion on Bachman-Turner Overdrive?

[RockTheVote]

1.Do you get money from Indian casinos?

2.Do you go to the woods and find natural spirit?

[mellowbonsai]

Is alcoholism really that big of a problem on your reservations?

When will the Indian fight back?

Yes. And we have fought back: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Indian_Movement

In 1972 there was an occupation of the bureau of indian affairs in washington dc. Molotov cocktails were being assembled and poised to throw, but the thing was quelled before any blood was shed. The occupation of wounded knee was a little more serious; a 71 day stand off with indians and feds armed to the teeth. Many wounded, but only two killed. This has accomplished little, though.

how does this look different from the other signals?

Depends on the size of the house and the material used to build it.

2. Umm, no. Redskin will do just fine.

1. Thanks for hijacking the thread, but you're wrong.

2. Redskin is a term that comes from fronteir days. As settling occurred, many wanted the indian tribes to be routed from the territory and offered some sort of substantive (money, munitions, nutrition, etc) reward for the body of a killed native american. Over time, in some places, the corpses piled so high and were so numerous the stench wasn't really desired in the area of settling. So, instead, they offered a reward for the scalps of american indians.

Some settlers were smart enough to just snatch the scalp of live american indians instead of killing them. You know how if you get a cut near the top of your head it bleeds a lot? No? Try it out, then. If not, just take my word for it. Anyway, when indians were scalped live, blood poured from the top of their head, often covering a good part of their head and torso. So, they were called redskins. Redskin will not do fine.

By the way, Arem, what tribe are you, seeing as how you feel so comfortable answering the questions. Are you enrolled?

You're a smart boy.

Thanks, diamonds. cureOne, I answer questions as seriously as they are asked.

how do you feel about cultural preservation. i.e. do you think cultures need to be preserved or do you think living cultures should be allowed to change with the times.

Cultures do need to be preserved, i believe. But they inevitably change with the times. Modernization and westernization are inescapable. i preserve them to the best of my own ability, and hope others do likewise, and i hope to pass on the traditions i have took part in. Some of the other parts of cultural preservation, like religion, though. i can't pass that on because i don't believe in it, personally. American indian culture has become flexible and many parts of it are both preserved while modernizing. Powwow dancing, for example. Traditionally it was a religious ceremony. Many powwows these days are competitive, some offering thousands of dollars for first place in particular dance categories.

[denimdestroyedmylife]

i've heard that meth is turning indian tribes into zombies on an epidemic scale. have you observed this?

[mellowbonsai]

what's your opinion on Bachman-Turner Overdrive?

A relevant question, Begåvningsreserven. I feel their noteriety has diminished, but undeservedly so. Their contribution to rock music shouldn't be marginalized, even in spite of their untoward Mormon beliefs.

1.Do you get money from Indian casinos?

2.Do you go to the woods and find natural spirit?

1. Yes. But i only get money from ONE casino, the casino my tribe owns and operates. Every enrolled memeber of a tribe that owns and operates a casino gets a portion of the profits generated at casinos. The money is allotted evenly to each member of the tribe. Tribes that own casinos are relatively few, and the revenue they generate is often blown out of proportion by mass media, like the Simpsons or Family Guy. The reality is that casinos are on reservations, away from metropolitan areas where more profit may be gained. Notable exceptions that come to mind are the Potowatami casino in Milwaukee and the Pequote casino in massachusetts, or some new england state, i forget.

Dual-enrollment was also abandoned long ago. For example, i am equal parts Menominee and Oneida, but i am only enrolled in the Oneida tribe. If dual enrollment were allowed, i would be recieving per capita from both tribes. But, i am not...

2. No. i go to the woods and find whatever any other normal person would find: woods.

i'm not even quite sure what you mean by natural spirit. Like, alcohol?

[mellowbonsai]

i've heard that meth is turning indian tribes into zombies on an epidemic scale. have you observed this?

Observed? Denimdestroyedmylife, my friend, i have participated. Actually, a few of my rotting fingers fell off typing this message. Conversely, if i bite you, you become a zombie and are also immediately enrolled in the tribe. Kudos if you get bitten up by a Pequot, their casino is the most affluent in North America.

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

im just fucking with you, brudder. my babys mother is native.

so that makes us brothers. now gimme a ride into town to pick up my welfare check, and a case of beer....by the time we get back the frybread will be ready!

[Begåvningsreserven]

A relevant question, Begåvningsreserven. I feel their noteriety has diminished, but undeservedly so. Their contribution to rock music shouldn't be marginalized, even in spite of their untoward Mormon beliefs.

i agree. Now why is there an "ö" in Motörhead? and what happend to Jessica Miller, she got to old?

[arem]

1. Thanks for hijacking the thread, but you're wrong.

By the way, Arem, what tribe are you, seeing as how you feel so comfortable answering the questions. Are you enrolled?

Sorry, didn't think I was overstepping my bounds by answering one question and making a joke reply to another that I considered a joke as well. To answer your question, I have Canadian Blackfoot lineage somewhere in the multiracial mash-up of my geneology. My ancestors were screwing everybody. Can't say that I'm enrolled in anything, sorry that I haven't much contact seeing as I'm NYC born and bred, but next time I will defer to you and your more valid cultural experience. Cool?

[mellowbonsai]

Sorry, didn't think I was overstepping my bounds by answering one question and making a joke reply to another that I considered a joke as well. To answer your question, I have Canadian Blackfoot lineage somewhere in the multiracial mash-up of my geneology. My ancestors were screwing everybody. Can't say that I'm enrolled in anything, sorry that I haven't much contact seeing as I'm NYC born and bred, but next time I will defer to you and your more valid cultural experience. Cool?

It's all good, i just didn't want people getting confused about the redskin thing.

Now why is there an "ö" in Motörhead? and what happend to Jessica Miller, she got to old?

According to wikipedia, the band was named after the last song Ian Kilmister wrote for the band he was kicked out of, Hawkwind. Although i can't inference anything about the two dots in question over the first o, its just probably more punx that way?

And do you mean Jessica Miller the Canadian figure skater, professional photographer, Reiki master/author, computer science PhD student in human-computer interaction at the University of Washington, supermodel, Northwestern University softball player, Chicago based artist who works primarily with robotics and kinetics, costume shop manager and supervisor at Washington and Lee, actress in Casino Royale, anime news network producer or sophomore women's volleyball player for the Indiana University-Purdue University Fort Wayne Mastadons?