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Wow.

75 posts in this topic

the most hilarious email i've ever received. in my life.

Hi Ann,

Hi , this is David, I met u in Macys dept. store a few days ago in Manhattan. Thank u for giving me advice of what i should purchase as a birthday gift for my married friend. I thought u were very pretty. I studied advertising design. I started a design company, but have not made any money with the company yet. I have a business partner in N.Y. My company name is Sciensun Inc. I designed 2 practical products and hope to sell them in tens of thousands of stores accross america. If they are successful i will sell them in all of Asia , Europe and USA and Latin America. I have more products on the drawing board for the future. I was born and raised in NY. I live in Elmhurst Queens now. Do u Have brothers and sisters ? I love dogs. I will definately buy a Golden Retriever or a German Shepherd puppy in the future. Do u have pets ? Do u like animals ? I like dolphins also and horses and girraffes, lions, tigers and salt water aquarium hobby. I paid to swim with a dolphin 4 years ago in Florida. They gave me a crippled dolphin , it swam with a limp fin. The dolphin had a fin cast on. I would like to try bull riding as a challenge to myself. I want to see if i can stay on the bull for more than 8 seconds. Bull riding is in Texas. What fun activities do u enjoy doing Chiara ? I like science alot. I like space, the universe, cosmos. I like cafes/lounges, amusement parks, bowling, play pool, motorboating. I don't have internet in my house. I use the library computer 1 time a week.

Please call me 1 (---)730-4902 or e-mail me.

Take Care

David

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Lover's quarrel?

Well, from this text, I like this guy. He likes golden retrievers. He's one with the cosmos, and he uses the library computer exactly once a week. This guy knows what he's doing. He's one step away from perfect. Is he Jewish?

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no, he's middle-aged, chinese, and single! he looks like a family man, guys. that's why i even stayed to talk to this guy. there's a reason why middle-aged single men are middle-aged and single.

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i...don't...get it??? really what the fuck is this about? btw y bother bleepin da area code out? he says where he lives. how does he know your email address? you musth ave gine 2 him rite??

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I would like to try bull riding as a challenge to myself. I want to see if i can stay on the bull for more than 8 seconds. Bull riding is in Texas.

This is cute.

Just email him answering all of the questions as he wrote them, with the most unnatractive responses you can imagine.

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this is a pretty typical pick-up technique here. guys on trains/buses approach girls and have a small chat, get their cell # or email and proceed to spam something along the lines of that to the girl. life story, job, hobbies, aspirations.. ugh

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God damn this is funny. This guy sounds crazy. Must be rough being an attractive female huh? Go out with him just once just for kicks!

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They gave me a crippled dolphin , it swam with a limp fin. The dolphin had a fin cast on

hopefully his "fin" isn't having the same problems no?

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lolz

I live in Elmhurst and I can do a bit of recon for you if you want.

Uses the library computer, thats fucking ghetto lolz

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uh, you gave him your e-mail address? kochteaze

btw gimme your e-mail address

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I don't know why you are making fun of this dude. When I met Ann at Macy's she seemed really nice, and I thought we hit it off. I thought she might like to know more about me, and in the future that we might be able to share a ride on a crippled dolphin together.

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is anyone else bothered by this whole thing?

did you give him your email address just so you could make fun of him later?

did you think he was rich and then get disappointed when he said his company hasn't made any money, and then decide to post about him?

did you think that by giving him your email he might introduce you to his younger, more attractive friend?

innovative spelling and all, westside's post is the only one in this thread that makes any sense...

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That email is so cryptic. I think there might be a hidden message in there that when taken certain letters out it will lead you to his house...

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Dear David,

You have an advertising design company but don't have internet. Get the fuckaouttahere! Sciensun Inc, what kind of a retarded name is that? I bet it took you 2 secs to come up with that name. Yeah I like animals, I'm very fond of ant eaters, I use it sometimes as a vacuum cleaner in my apartment. Dolphins are ghey. Yeah I know where bull riding is..I'm not that stupid yknow. I hate going out, I am an introvert, I worship the devil on weekends, I hate taking a bath and shaving my armpits. However... I'm up for a date, let's say this coming Thursday, I'll be coming from an appointment at the STD clinic in the West Village Area, we can grab a bite somewhere around the neighborhood. Oh forgot to ask you, what is your credit card number? See you soon...muahhh!

xxxooo,

Ann

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I was sure this was some sort of an attempt at spam, but you actually met this guy?

did you think he was rich and then get disappointed when he said his company hasn't made any money, and then decide to post about him?

thats kind of far fetched, no? I'm only guessing here, but don't you think that she might've made the thread because some odd guy sent her an extremely weird and confusing e-mail?

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is anyone else bothered by this whole thing?

did you give him your email address just so you could make fun of him later?

did you think he was rich and then get disappointed when he said his company hasn't made any money, and then decide to post about him?

did you think that by giving him your email he might introduce you to his younger, more attractive friend?

innovative spelling and all, westside's post is the only one in this thread that makes any sense...

hmmm...what if this was the guy that wrote the email?

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is anyone else bothered by this whole thing?

no

did you give him your email address just so you could make fun of him later?

no

i gave him my email address to deter him from asking for my phone number

did you think he was rich and then get disappointed when he said his company hasn't made any money, and then decide to post about him?

no, he didn't look rich at all. if anything, he looked like he was from elmhurst (no offense).

no, i didn't know he'd even started his own company prior to the email

in fact, i didn't know jack shit about this guy prior to this email, but can i help that it cracked me up the moment i started reading it? if i really wanted to expose the guy, i'd posted up his last name, email address and/or phone number in its entirety.

did you think that by giving him your email he might introduce you to his younger, more attractive friend?

no

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Dear David,

I am honored that you find me attractive, as my gender reassignment surgery is still not complete and I was self-conscious about people noticing I was still a man. It has been tough finding Mr. Right as a transgender; most guys are so superficial and bigoted about this sort of thing. I can see you are a kind soul who can overlook these things. Lets do dinner sometime.

Love ALWAYS,

Ann

He will stop bothering you. Probably.

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That email is so cryptic. I think there might be a hidden message in there that when taken certain letters out it will lead you to his house...

i think the hidden message is "motorboating" buuuurrrrrrr

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Stating the (bloody) obvious, but ever thought about giving him a fake email address or even a fake number in the first place?

oh, i'm sorry. i'm not a mastermind or all that quick in the head when it comes to being dishonest.

do i really have to explain myself to you guys?

honestly, i don't think any of you would have given a rat's furry little ass if i didn't say it was written to me.

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is anyone else bothered by this whole thing?

did you give him your email address just so you could make fun of him later?

did you think he was rich and then get disappointed when he said his company hasn't made any money, and then decide to post about him?

did you think that by giving him your email he might introduce you to his younger, more attractive friend?

innovative spelling and all, westside's post is the only one in this thread that makes any sense...

16 F LOOKIN 4 OLDER GUYZ???!!!
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