Shooter

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

this movie was really bad.

no no, i mean REALLLLLLY bad. I left the theater wanting to fight Antoine Fuqua. What did I do to make you have such contempt for me, Atoine Fuqua? I liked training day, which was another incredibly pedestrian effort saved only by Denzel Washington. But this one...fuck man, holy shit fuck it was insane. There isnt a gun on earth that could shoot holes THAT big into a plot. It was like a mix of Rambo:First Blood, Commando, JFK, one of Milspex's wank fantasies, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Why TNMT? Because Elias Kotias, aka Casey Jones was in it. And he was bad. And why the fuck is Danny Glover slurring his words like Daffy Duck?

This movie gets the bozak. Seriously, i was howling with laughter at some points, and the last 15 minutes left me with this frantic panicky feeling of "But...they cant do that...this is ridiculous...who the shit is this made for?!?!?! FUUUCK!!!"

This is the kind of movie that if you see it in a hood theater, dudes are like "Aww HELL no, this whiteboy is CRAZY, SON!!!"

wow, i needed to get that off my chest. As you were.

[BOORADLEY]

dude i know. i saw it and almost had to leave. what the fuck was with danny glovers lisp!?

and i thought we were past making movies with desposable henchmen in sunglasses?!

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

the movie's ONLY saving grace was the fairly realistic gore. im convinced only the mildly retarded could appreciate this story.

there were about 3 or 4 subplots that went absolutely nowhere. Why did Casey Jones go from quiet CIA henchman to rapist to screaming, shotgun-toting, hostage taking maniac? How long was Marky Mark on the run for? How long was he layed up at that redheads house with the bullet holes in him? How long was he in prison for? Why did the attorney general let him go immediately when, for all intents and purposes, this man was the attempted assasin of the prseident? And why is it later that night, every single one of the bad guys was hanging out at the main bad guys house drinking bourbon, smoking cigars, and laughing about how they got one over on Shooter? Also, wouldnt every single law enforcement agent in america bee looking for shooter after he brutally murdered 3 cia agents and a US senator and exploded his house and drove away with a hot redhead in the middle of the highway?

FUUUCK, i havent been this baffled by bullshit in a really long time....

I am not a snob by any means, but I kind of want to poll people, find out who thought this was a good movie, X those people from my life, and relentlessly mock and berate them.

[baladoongdoong]

hahaa... some movies DO have outta the world imagination! well, anyway, its a show! lol

[onemancult]

It's your own goddamned fault for going to see Shooter.

That's like you're in the mood for some porno and you throw on a flick called People Fucking.

[soraanaam]

this movie was really bad.

no no, i mean REALLLLLLY bad. I left the theater wanting to fight Antoine Fuqua. What did I do to make you have such contempt for me, Atoine Fuqua? I liked training day, which was another incredibly pedestrian effort saved only by Denzel Washington. But this one...fuck man, holy shit fuck it was insane. There isnt a gun on earth that could shoot holes THAT big into a plot. It was like a mix of Rambo:First Blood, Commando, JFK, one of [B]Milspex's wank fantasies[/B], and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Why TNMT? Because Elias Kotias, aka Casey Jones was in it. And he was bad. And why the fuck is Danny Glover slurring his words like Daffy Duck?

This movie gets the bozak. Seriously, i was howling with laughter at some points, and the last 15 minutes left me with this frantic panicky feeling of "But...they cant do that...this is ridiculous...who the shit is this made for?!?!?! FUUUCK!!!"

This is the kind of movie that if you see it in a hood theater, dudes are like "Aww HELL no, this whiteboy is CRAZY, SON!!!"

wow, i needed to get that off my chest. As you were.

what is it with milspex? i find him very funny

[Double D]

what is it with milspex? i find him very funny

Funny, yes, but also a giant Bush-loving wannabe terrorist killer, but for his "bad eyesight". Hence the reference to a "Milspex wank fantasy".

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

That's like you're in the mood for some porno and you throw on a flick called People Fucking.

Damn, you fell for that one too, huh?

[onemancult]

Damn, you fell for that one too, huh?

It left me with a lot of questions that weren't answered at all...

why are they fucking?

how did they meet?

is that mole cancerous?

what is that thin white string hanging out of the female lead's snatchcrack?

jelly doughnuts?

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

It left me with a lot of questions that weren't answered at all...

why are they fucking?

how did they meet?

all of which was explained in a flashback that was edited out, badly. there's a director's cut out there somewhere.

[swisloc]

it was so horrible. really, off the charts unintentional comedy.

remember that movie Ricochet with John Lithgow, Denzel Washington and Ice T? where lithgow is the criminal mastermind sent to prison by denzel and breaks out to exact revenge on him and somehow becomes a white surpremicist in the process (killing Jesse Ventura in prison)...all while sporting a pony tail and diamond stud earing?

well, the plot of shooter was slightly LESS believable than that plot. i was laughing through the entire thing. as already mentioned, the most ridiculous things had to have been A) danny glovers lisp, and Elias Kotias inexplicably raping that chick, and C) marky mark telling the girl that she couldn't buy the medical suplies all at one store, yet he turns around goes buys carts full of explosive material with his sidekick dude two scenes later??????

but in the end, part of me is a little glad that movies this stupidly over-the-top are still being made (with loads of completely dispensable henchmen)...i also love that the most accurate comparison is to First Blood.

[onemancult]

all of which was explained in a flashback that was edited out, badly. there's a director's cut out there somewhere.

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

A) danny glovers lisp, QUOTE]

it's like he read the script and just decided to play the guy as having suffered a minor stroke.

after all is said and done, if this movie had been done in 92, and Shooter had been played by Seagal, I'm pretty sure I'd be hailing it as a classic.

[cuddlysheep]

hey man van damme movies are for great enjoyment haha.he gave us such hits as double impact,kickboxer,universal solder,lion heart list goes on. that and watching walker texas ranger hilarity back to back.

[BOORADLEY]

word on the street is danny's character had like braces or a retainer in for the movie... WTF?!

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

word on the street is danny's character had like braces or a retainer in for the movie... WTF?!

word? streets are saying things about Shooter?

is it just me, or is it not fun to call the main character from the movie by the movie's name in conversation? like "Remember that part in Cocktail when Cocktail was flippin those bottles around? That was dope?" or like "Damn, that was crazy when Philadelphia lifted his shirt up in court and he had mad lesions on his chest?" or even "I knew that Coyote Ugly would make her way in the big city!"

[phen3N]

i fell asleep during it.

[superdupersang]

after lethal weapon, i cannot take danny glover as a serious actor.

seriously.

[englandmj7]

Any action movie where the main character is given a name like "Bob Lee Swagger" is bound to be excellent.

[NESK]

this whole thread has sold me on seeing this movie.

i know im going to lvoe it.