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Seinfeld

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I don't know about you but catching a Seinfeld episode on tv really brightens my day.:)

I have probably seen every episode like 5 times.

What are your favorite episodes, moments, quotes?

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Nancy: Ow, George! [crawls out from beneath the covers] What are you

doing?

George: [pops his head out of the covers, looking a bit confused] Uh...you

know, uh...pleasuring you.

Nancy: Well, stop it!

George: You don't like the move?

Nancy: No. I don't.

George: You're kidding.

Nancy: No, I'm not. It feels like aliens poking at my body.

George: Sorry. I'll just go back to my usual routine.

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Jerry? Frank Costanza, Steinbrenner's here, George is dead, call me back.

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the pinky toe episode leaves me cracking up all the time.. probably my favorite kramer moment ever..

Jerry: You kept making all the stops!?

Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell!

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JERRY: What's around you?

KRAMER: I'm lookin' at Ray's Pizza. You know where that is?

JERRY: Is it Famous Ray's?

KRAMER: No. It's Original Ray's.

JERRY: Famous Original Ray's?

KRAMER: It's just Original, Jerry!

JERRY: Well, what street are you on?

KRAMER: Hey, I'm on first and first. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe.

JERRY: Just wait there. I'll pick you up, and, Kramer, stay alive no matter what occurs, I will find you!

I love this maid episode

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Seinfeld is my favorite show. Some quotes I appreciate, more to come.

Jerry: I mean really, what is the big deal? We go in there, we're in there for a while, then we come back out here. That's not complicated.

Jerry: Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country?

Girlfriend's Brother: You double dipped a chip! Next time, just take one dip, and end it!

Jerry: I hate rental cars. Nothing ever works. The window doesn't work, the radio doesn't work... and it smells like a cheap hooker... Or is that you?

Elaine: Gimme ten bucks and find out.

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SALES WOMAN: Mr. Pennypacker, this is Mr. Vandelay, And you know Mr. Varnsen

KRAMER: Uh, Varnsen.

JERRY: Pennypacker.

KRAMER: Vandelay.

GEORGE: Pennypacker. Varnsen.

JERRY: Vandelay. Wait a second. Mr. Pennypacker, if you're here, and Mr. Vandelay is also here, then who's watching the factory?

KRAMER: The factory?

JERRY: The Saab factory?

KRAMER: Jerry, that's in Sweden.

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REBECCA: Excuse me, I'm Rebecca Demorne from the homeless shelter.

ELAINE: Oh, hi.

REBECCA: Are you the ones leaveing the muffing pieces behind our shelter?

ELAINE: You been enjoying them?

REBECCA: They're just stumps.

ELAINE: Well they're perfectly edible.

REBECCA: Oh, so you just assume that the homeless will eat them, they'll eat anything?

MR. LIPPMAN: No no, we just thought...

REBECCA: I know what you thought. They don't have homes, they don't have jobs, what do they need the top of a muffin for? They're lucky to get the stumps.

ELAINE: If the homeless don't like them the homeless don't have to eat them.

REBECCA: The homeless don't like them.

ELAINE: Fine.

REBECCA: We've never gotten so many complaints. Every two minutes, "Where is the top of this muffin? Who ate the rest of this?"

ELAINE: We were just trying to help.

REBECCA: Why don't you just drop off some chicken skins and lobster shells.

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"cracker-ass? you callin' me cracker-ass, nigga?"

"uncalled for? that's what happens when you interrupt the white man."

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i just wrote a paper using the jacket episode (where jerry gets that suede jacket with the pink candy stripe lining) as an illustration of roland barthes' semiotics hahah.

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WAITRESS: (handing Elaine a menu) Here you go.

ELAINE: (to the black waitress) Long day?

WAITRESS: Yeah, I just worked a triple shift.

ELAINE: I hear ya, Sister.

WAITRESS: Sister?

ELAINE: (as Darryl comes into Monk's) Yeah. It's OK. My boyfriend's black. Here he is. See?

DARRYL: Hi, Elaine.

ELAINE: Hey.

WAITRESS: He's black?

ELAINE: Yeah.

DARRYL: I'm black?

ELAINE: Aren't you?

WAITRESS: (leaving) I'll give you a couple minutes to decide.

DARRYL: What are you talking about?

ELAINE: You're black. You said we were an interracial couple.

DARRYL: We are. Because you're Hispanic.

ELAINE: I am?

DARRYL: Aren't you?

ELAINE: No. Why would you think that?

DARRYL: Your name's Benes, your hair, and you kept taking me to those Spanish restaurants.

ELAINE: That's because I thought you were black.

DARRYL: Why would you take me to a Spanish restaurant because I'm black?

ELAINE: I don't think we should be talking about this.

DARRYL: So, what are you?

ELAINE: I'm white.

DARRYL: So, we're just a couple of white people?

ELAINE: I guess.

DARRYL: Oh.

ELAINE: Yeah. So do you want to go to the Gap?

DARRYL: (leaving with Elaine) Sure.

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Girlfriend's Brother: You double dipped a chip! Next time, just take one dip, and end it!

oh my god, dude. my dad still says this all the time, it was like 10 years ago let it go.

the moment that was awesome was when newman, and kramer got spit on at the baseball game, dont remember the quotes and havent looked for a clip, but it was funny. actually alot of the newman heavy stuff was good.

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when kramer says have you ever killed a man with your bare hands... that is one of the finest moments in the back of that van after he has been picked up hitch hiking when he was confused with that serial killer...

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anyone know somewhere i can stream seinfeld online?

i've been watching some episodes off tvokay.com but they only have a smattering of episodes.

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personal fav... mouth to the side and Jerry goes heeeeeeeeellooooooooooooo.....

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JERRY: Excuse me I'd like to return this jacket.

TELLER: Certainly. May I ask why?

JERRY: ........For spite...

TELLER: Spite?

JERRY: That's right. I don't care for the salesman that sold it to me.

TELLER: I don't think you can return an item for spite.

JERRY: What do you mean?

TELLER: Well if there was some problem with the garment. If it were unsatisfactory in some way, then we could do it for you, but I'm afraid spite doesn't fit into any of our conditions for a refund

JERRY: That's ridiculous, I want to return it. What's the difference what the reason is.

TELLER: Let me speak with the manager...excuse me .............Bob!

(walks over to the manager and whispers)

TELLER: ........spite.....(Manager walks over)

BOB: What seems to be the problem?

JERRY: Well I want to return this jacket and she asked me why and I said for spite and now she won't take it back.

BOB: That's true. You can't return an item based purely on spite.

JERRY:. Well So fine then ..then I don't want it and then that's why I'm returning it

BOB: Well you already said spite so......

JERRY: But I changed my mind..

BOB: No...you said spite...Too late.

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BOB: No...you said spite...Too late.

this is the best line ever!

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catch the Soup Nazi in this scene from Austin Powers (it is him, isn't it?)

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