today's news

[Chicken]

it's just like south park.

[landho]

in another news:

Police: Man Had Sex With Picnic Table

Doesn't seem so extraordinary, given that some guys regularly have sex with the floor.

[DüM]

Doesn't seem so extraordinary, given that fadetoblack regularly has sex with the floor.

fixed.

[landho]

Was censoring myself out of respect for the recently departed (pbuh).

[themars2112]

grade 3 students in Georgia plotted to kill their teacher, brought a knife to school, along with handcuffs and a paperweight to knock her out

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/children_s_plot

[mr fluffernutter]

grade 3 students in Georgia plotted to kill their teacher, brought a knife to school, along with handcuffs and a paperweight to knock her out

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/children_s_plot

WHEN I AM OVERLORD WE WILL BEAT INTO OUR CHILDREN SOME GOOD SENSE.

[Chicken]

Anti-Emo Riots Break Out Across Mexico

Riot police have taken to the streets of several cities in Mexico to ... defend emo kids?

A series of attacks on dyed-hair, eye-makeup-wearing emo kids began in early March when several hundred people went on an emo-beating rampage in Querétaro, a town of 1.5 million about 160 miles north of Mexico City.

The next week, shaggy-haired emo teenagers were harassed again by punks and rockabillys in the capital, prompting police protection and a segment on the TV news. Most recently, a Mexican newspaper reported that metal heads and gangsters have warned Tijuana's emo kids to stay away from the town's fair next month.

But the so-called emos are organizing, too. Last week, they demonstrated against the violence, pictured above, and Wednesday some met with police in Mexico City.

"They're organizing to defend their right to be emo," wrote Daniel Hernandez of LA Weekly on his personal blog, which has provided stellar coverage of the whole affair.

more...

[selbsttatig]

Appendix removed through vagina.

"An American woman has had her inflamed appendix removed through her vagina, in a groundbreaking operation that left her with no scarring and minimal pain.

The patient, Diana Schlamadinger, who is in her 20s, said that the 50-minute procedure had left her with no discomfort, rating her level of post-operative pain as “a 1 or a 0.5†on a scale of one to ten.

During the surgery, doctors at the University of California San Diego Medical Centre, excised Ms Schlamandinger's appendix using an endoscope inserted through a tiny incision in her vaginal wall.

Only one small external incision, in her navel, was needed to insert a 2mm camera into the abdominal cavity to guide the surgical instruments."

[pavlova cakesworth]

A father and daughter who have revealed they are couple and have a child together had another baby who died a few days after birth from a congenital heart disease, court documents show.

John Earnest Deaves and his daughter Jennifer Anne Deaves are at the centre of an incest scandal in South Australia over their seven-year relationship.

The pair revealed their relationship on Channel 9's 60 Minutes program last night, saying they were just asking for some respect and understanding.

In March this year, they were placed on three-year good behaviour bonds after pleading guilty to two counts of incest.

Mr Deaves admitted that he "initially" thought having sex with his daughter was wrong.

"Emotions take over, as people no doubt realise. There are times during your life where emotions do rule the heart, it rules the head," he said.

"I knew it was illegal. Of course, I knew it was illegal but you know, so what."

ugh. i saw this in the newspaper this morning while i was eating breakfast.

[40ozprophet]

thats legit.

[Bane]

Anti-Emo Riots Break Out Across Mexico

Riot police have taken to the streets of several cities in Mexico to ... defend emo kids?

A series of attacks on dyed-hair, eye-makeup-wearing emo kids began in early March when several hundred people went on an emo-beating rampage in Querétaro, a town of 1.5 million about 160 miles north of Mexico City.

The next week, shaggy-haired emo teenagers were harassed again by punks and rockabillys in the capital, prompting police protection and a segment on the TV news. Most recently, a Mexican newspaper reported that metal heads and gangsters have warned Tijuana's emo kids to stay away from the town's fair next month.

But the so-called emos are organizing, too. Last week, they demonstrated against the violence, pictured above, and Wednesday some met with police in Mexico City.

"They're organizing to defend their right to be emo," wrote Daniel Hernandez of LA Weekly on his personal blog, which has provided stellar coverage of the whole affair.

more...

hahaha

fags!

:eek:

WoW:confused:

[mr fluffernutter]

mexico is so fucking behind.

JETS ALREADY WON.

[chingon]

it's true. the homophobia is just as present here in new mexico. it's fucking annoying.

[Chicken]

i thought it was:

Appendix removed through vagina.

if i was a gurl, i'd be real afraid to poke a hole in my vag. (call me a pussy.)

A father and daughter who have revealed they are couple and have a child together had another baby who died a few days after birth from a congenital heart disease, court documents show.

i don't know what to make out of this one. but they look happy. :confused:

[chingon]

Cleaner, perhaps, and with a tad less corruption, but same sentiments.

if i was a gurl, i'd be real afraid to poke a hole in my vag. (call me a pussy.)

this is such a complicated sentence ^

[bottledwater]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23984857/

HILTON HEAD ISLAND, S.C. - A man who received a heart transplant 12 years ago and later married the donor's widow died the same way the donor did, authorities said: of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

[mellowbonsai]

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/07/business/media/07carr.html?ref=todayspaper

"He was accused of ordering up a threat against Anita M. Busch, a reporter who was working for The Los Angeles Times on an article about the actor Steven Seagal, one of Mr. Pellicano’s clients, in June 2002. Mr. Pellicano was accused of having a fish and a rose placed in her car along with a bullet-size hole in the windshield ( Ms. Busch also wrote articles for The New York Times, and Bernard Weinraub, a former reporter for The New York Times, was reportedly harassed by associates of Mr. Pellicano as well).

Another reported threat came two months later, when Ned Zeman, a reporter working on an article about Mr. Seagal for Vanity Fair, was driving and a man pulled up, pointed a gun at him, said, “Stop,” and pulled the trigger. The gun was empty, but the man supplied a sound effect. “Bang,” he said.

...

The farcical nature of the proceedings is further etched by Mr. Pellicano’s decision to represent himself."

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/07/world/europe/07formula.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper&oref=slogin

"In a video the paper posted on the Internet but later removed, two of the women wore black-and-white striped robes in the style of prisoners’ uniforms. The video showed Mr. Mosley ["boss" of the grand prix] counting in German — “Eins! Zwei! Drei! Vier! Funf!” — as he used a leather strap to lash one of the women.

“She needs more of ze punishment!” he cried in German-accented English. One woman appeared to search his hair for lice while another called off items on an inspection list. Mr. Mosley, naked, was bound face-down and lashed more than 20 times."

[Chicken]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23984857/

HILTON HEAD ISLAND, S.C. - A man who received a heart transplant 12 years ago and later married the donor's widow died the same way the donor did, authorities said: of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

cellular memory?

Termites feast on trader's money

By Amarnath Tewary

Patna

A trader in the Indian state of Bihar has lost his life savings after termites infesting his bank's safe deposit boxes ate them up.

Dwarika Prasad had deposited currency notes and investment papers worth hundreds of thousands of rupees in a bank safe in the state capital Patna.

The bank says it put up a notice warning customers of the termites.

Mr Prasad says he did not see it in time as he did not go to the bank for months after the notice went up.

Bank officials admit they did not inform the customers individually about the termite problem.

'Shattered'

"I'm shattered. I do not know what to do as I had kept the money for my old age," Mr Prasad said.

The trader says he had deposited 450,000 rupees ($11,000) in currency notes, investment papers worth 232,000 rupees ($5,660) and some gold and silver jewellery in a safe deposit box of the government-owned Central Bank of India.

Mr Prasad says that relations with his wife and children were strained and he wanted to put the money in the safe box to keep it safe from them.

He started using the safe box in September 2005.

He says when he opened it on 29 January, there was nothing in the safe except termite dust and remains of currency notes and that his investment papers were "badly perforated".

The white ants did not even spare the ornaments and their sheen has vanished, he says.

"I wrote to the head office of the Central Bank of India and the regional offices of the Reserve Bank of India," Mr Prasad says. "Even after two months, I'm waiting for a response from them."

'Not liable'

Bank authorities say they put up a notice, dated 8 May 2007, outside the locker room warning customers about the termite infestation.

They advised customers to remove their documents and papers from their safe.

"We received a few complaints of termites in safe deposit boxes so after putting on the notice, we got pesticides sprayed in the bank," said bank manager YP Saha.

Mr Saha says the customer cannot blame the bank because he did not find his locker broken or damaged.

"The bank is not liable for the deposits kept inside the safe as it is only when a locker is found broken that the bank is answerable," he said.

Bank authorities say they have forwarded Mr Prasad's complaint to higher authorities but they say he is not entitled to any compensation for his loss.

[Chicken]

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/07/world/europe/07formula.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper&oref=slogin

this whole mosley saga is very timely with the racism problems happening in the formula one world. guess he likes za punishment, but he doesn't like za resignation.

[Ippo]

April 09, 2008 12:00am

A BABY girl born with two faces is eating and breathing normally, her parents say.

The child, named Lali, was born a month ago with two pairs of eyes and lips and two noses.

She is the first child of factory worker Vinod Kumar and his wife Sushma.

The child has caused a sensation, attracting a stream of curious observers and others who consider her a deity in the deeply religious Hindu-majority country.

Lali's extremely rare condition is known as craniofacial duplication, where a single head has two faces. Her facial features are duplicated with the exception of her ears - she has two.

"She drinks milk from her two mouths and opens and shuts all the four eyes at one time," the director of Saifi Hospital, Sabir Ali, said

"She is leading a normal life with no breathing difficulties.''

He said he saw no need for surgery.

Lali's father said he was apprehensive when he first saw his daughter.

"I had never seen something like this in my life so naturally I was a little scared when I first saw her," he said.

Her mother, Sushma, told The Hindustan Times her daughter was "just like any other child".

"Initially we had some problem in accepting the child but now everything is fine,'' she said.

The family has no plans to consult doctors to check if the girl can receive treatment or corrective surgery.

"The doctor said everything is normal when she was born. So where's the need to get medical help?" 24-year-old Kumar said.

"She's fed through one mouth and sucks her thumb with the other. We use whichever mouth is free to feed her."

Doctors said it was an extremely rare case, with the girl having two skulls joined together, and that separating them was out of the question.

"Since the heads are fused, separating them is not possible," paediatrician D.K Gupta of the All India Institute of Medical Sciences told The Hindustan Times newspaper.

But doctors said the girl should be examined thoroughly to study the possibility of complications.

"Clearly the child is in no immediate danger but it has to be checked whether the oral and nasal cavity and other passages" are functioning properly, Dr Gupta said.

The case comes just months after Indian doctors performed a rare, marathon surgery to remove the extra limbs of a girl born with four arms and legs.

Two-year-old Lakshmi Tatma's case captivated the nation last year as domestic and international media focused on her complicated surgery performed in southern Bangalore city in November.

This year, Lakshmi started taking her first steps with the help of a baby walker, delighting her parents and doctors.

Lakshmi, named after the four-armed Hindu goddess of wealth, was born fused to the pelvis of a twin that had stopped developing in her mother's womb - a condition that occurs once in 50,000 conjoined twin births.

Kumar said he had heard about Lakshmi, but did not want to change anything about his daughter's features.

"Whatever God has given me is acceptable. What can we do about it?" he said.

[RFKorp]

she's surprisingly adorable.

[bottledwater]

some quality news...

"Man gets drunk, decides to stand in traffic and challenge cars with a bow and arrows"

http://www.kentucky.com/523/story/370288.html

[sybaritical]

Extra! Extra!

Read all about it!!

New Zealand man charged for using hedgehog as weapon.

[Chicken]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/merseyside/7338151.stm

maybe they'll change their name to agina or something.

she's surprisingly adorable.

yes, she does have a nice dimple. hope she's going to be healthy.

some quality news...

"Man gets drunk, decides to stand in traffic and challenge cars with a bow and arrows"

http://www.kentucky.com/523/story/370288.html

hope he's not a sufu member.

Extra! Extra!

Read all about it!!

New Zealand man charged for using hedgehog as weapon.

tg lives in a dangerous place.

[Chicken]

Cult to pay woman huge compensation over forced donations for ancestors

A cult has agreed to pay about 230 million yen in compensation to an elderly woman for forcing her to donate a massive amount of money to redeem her ancestors' sins.

The Holy Spirit Association for the Unification of Christianity, known as "Toitsu Kyokai" in Japan, has agreed to pay the settlement money to a 70-year-old woman from Chiba Prefecture, who had demanded the cult compensate her for about 220 million yen that she donated to the religious group.

"It is rare that a settlement is reached with compensation whose amount largely surpasses the actual damage figure," said lawyer Masaki Kito at a press conference with the victim on Thursday.

The victim told the press, "I was told that my ancestors were suffering in hell. The amount of money they demanded got higher and higher, and I felt bound by hand and foot."

According to Kito, the woman paid the donations to the cult during a five-year period until 2005. When the woman demanded the cult pay back the donations and pay her compensation, the cult initially didn't comply.

However, after the victim told the cult that she would file a suit against it and the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology, which holds jurisdiction over the religious group, the organization agreed last month to pay the settlement money.

"It was a settlement made between our followers. Our association is not concerned with it," said a representative of the religious group.

(Mainichi Japan) April 11, 2008

[mojinho]

At McLean School, Playing Tag Turns Into Hot Potato

Tuesday, April 15, 2008; A01

A playground pastime is getting a timeout this spring at a McLean elementary school.

Robyn Hooker, principal of Kent Gardens Elementary School, has told students they may no longer play tag during recess after determining that the game of chasing, dodging and yelling "You're it!" had gotten out of hand. Hooker explained to parents in a letter this month that tag had become a game "of intense aggression."

The principal said that her goal is to keep students safe and that she hopes to restore tag (as well as touch football, also now on hold) after teachers and administrators review recess policies.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/04/14/AR2008041402988.html?hpid=topnews

[blm14]

"Pope Says Church Will Bar Pedophile Priests"

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/16/us/nationalspecial2/15cnd-pope.html?hp

I can just see the screening interviews now...

Cardinal: "So, you wish to be a priest, eh? Let me give you a rorschach test. What does this photograph of a naked 4 year old boy remind you of?"

[its swanny]

Earthquate in the Midwest

First to hit my town in 20 years.

Like a 2.1...but we could feel it.

[hamham3001]

Chicago Bulls mascot, Benny the Bull, is being sued for a high-five gone very wrong

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/rumors/post/Benny-The-Bull-gets-sued-for-high-five-gone-awry?urn=nba,78362

[who8mahrice]

Penis robbery?

http://perezhilton.com/2008-04-23-this-is-not-a-joke-29

Police in Kinshasa, Congo, have arrested 13 suspected "sorcerers" of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises, after a wave of panic arose and attempted lynchings which were triggered by the witchcraft.

For reals, y'all!

Reuters is reporting it!

Reports of snatching penises is not uncommon in West Africa, where there's still a strong belief in traditional religions and witchcraft. There are often ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts.

Some residents accuse a separatist sect from Bas-Congo of being behind the penis robberies in revenge for a recent crackdown of its members by the government.

Penis robberies!!!!!

Rumors of the penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa. Citizens were calling in to radio talk shows to seek advise. Citizens were told to beware of passengers next to them in public transportation, wearing gold rings.

Somebody's gonna snatch your cock on the metro!

There are supposedly 14 victims so far who claim that the sorcerers touched them, and their penises shrunk or disappeared! They claim it is an attempt to extort cash in return for a cure.

Uhm, right.

Local police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, said in a recent interview, "You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. You see them covered in marks after being beaten."

Oleko continued, "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke, but when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'."

Apparently, something similar happed over 10 years ago in Ghana, when 12 suspected penis robbers were beaten to death by angry mobs.

But residents are still claiming it's real. Alain Kalala, a local citizen, said "It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny."

Unless it was tiny to begin with?