today's news

[Chicken]

if he was smart and able enough to research and kill himself with a robot, he probably should've been allowed to live alone?

[Fookums]

^^

[Chicken]

^ they're coming after us!

[sybaritical]

Man kills wife installing satellite television.

Officials are trying to decide whether to file charges against a Missouri man who fatally shot his wife while trying to install a satellite TV system in the bedroom of their home.

Patsy Long, 34, of Deepwater, died after being shot in the chest with a .22-caliber handgun on Saturday. Her husband, Ronald Long, fired the shot from the inside of their home after several unsuccessful efforts to punch a hole through the exterior wall using other means.Henry County sheriff's deputies said the woman was hit by the second of two shots fired by her husband.Long was given CPR by neighbors and family until medics arrived, police said. She was transported by air ambulance, but was pronounced dead at the hospital just after 6 p.m.

[Chicken]

just one more on the list, i guess.

[DüM]

why is switzerland so high?

[Chicken]

i believe the swiss gun laws were also very liberal until quite recently.

[Biff15]

Woman Says TSA Forced Piercings Removal

LOS ANGELES (AP) - A Texas woman who said she was forced to remove a nipple ring with pliers in order to board an airplane called Thursday for an apology by federal security agents and a civil rights investigation.

"I wouldn't wish this experience upon anyone," Mandi Hamlin said at a news conference. "My experience with TSA was a nightmare I had to endure. No one deserves to be treated this way."

Hamlin, 37, said she was trying to board a flight from Lubbock to Dallas on Feb. 24 when she was scanned by a Transportation Security Administration agent after passing through a larger metal detector without problems.

The female TSA agent used a handheld detector that beeped when it passed in front of Hamlin's chest, the Dallas-area resident said.

Hamlin said she told the woman she was wearing nipple piercings. The women then called over her male colleagues, one of whom said she would have to remove the jewelry, Hamlin said.

Hamlin said she could not remove them and asked whether she could instead display her pierced breasts in private to the female agent. But several other male officers told her she could not board her flight until the jewelry was out, she said.

She was taken behind a curtain and managed to remove one bar-shaped piercing but had trouble with the second, a ring.

"Still crying, she informed the TSA officer that she could not remove it without the help of pliers, and the officer gave a pair to her," said Hamlin's attorney, Gloria Allred, reading from a letter she sent Thursday to the director of the TSA's Office of Civil Rights and Liberties.

Hamlin said she heard male TSA agents snickering as she took out the ring. She was scanned again and was allowed to board even though she still was wearing a belly button ring.

"After nipple rings are inserted, the skin can often heal around the piercing, and the rings can be extremely difficult and painful to remove," Allred said in the letter.

Hamlin filed a complaint, but the TSA's customer service manager at the Lubbock airport concluded the screening was handled properly, Allred said.

Allred said she might consider legal action if the TSA does not apologize.

On its Web site, the TSA warns that passengers "may be additionally screened because of hidden items such as body piercings, which alarmed the metal detector."

"If you are selected for additional screening, you may ask to remove your body piercing in private as an alternative to a pat-down search," the site says.

Hamlin would have accepted a "pat-down" had it been offered, Allred said.

Hamlin was publicly humiliated and has "undergone an enormous amount of physical pain to have the nipple rings reinserted" because of scar tissue, Allred said.

"The conduct of TSA was cruel and unnecessary," Allred wrote. "The last time that I checked a nipple was not a dangerous weapon."

TSA spokesman Dwayne Baird said he was unaware of the incident. There is no specific TSA policy on dealing with body piercings, he said, "as long as it doesn't sound the alarms."

If an alarm does sound, "until that is resolved, we're not going to let them go through the checkpoint, no matter what they're wearing or where they're wearing it."

People routinely pass through security wearing wedding rings without problems, and it might take a larger bit of metal to trigger an alarm, Baird said.

[Chicken]

"The last time that I checked a nipple was not a dangerous weapon."

maybe the guards were afraid of:

[Chicken]

Mac easiest to hack, says $10,000 winner

March 28, 2008 (Computerworld) The security researcher who walked away with $10,000 yesterday by hacking a MacBook Air in less than two minutes said he chose to attack Apple Inc.'s operating system for one simple reason.

"It was the easiest one of the three," said Charlie Miller, an analyst at Independent Security Evaluators (ISE), a Baltimore-based security consultancy. "We wanted to spend as little time as possible coming up with an exploit, so we picked Mac OS X."

On Thursday afternoon, Miller breached a MacBook Air, one of three laptops up for grabs in the "PWN to OWN" hacker challenge at CanSecWest, a security conference that wraps up today in Vancouver, British Columbia. For his efforts, he got the computer and a $10,000 cash prize.

The MacBook Air was running the current version of Mac OS X, 10.5.2, with all the latest security patches applied. The other two computers, a Sony Vaio VGN-TZ37CN running Ubuntu 7.10 and a Fujitsu U810 notebook running Windows Vista Ultimate SP1, were also up to date and fully patched.

[darkanimal]

Man said 'wombat rape' led to accent change

By Nick Squires in Sydney

Last Updated: 1:33pm GMT 28/03/2008

A New Zealand man who claimed he was raped by a wombat and that the experience left him speaking with an Australian accent has been found guilty of wasting police time.

Weird Wired Web: Most ridiculous crime in the world?

Rogue monkey accused of attempted rapes

How about that: Weird and bizarre stories from around the world

Arthur Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police last month to tell them he was being raped by the marsupial at his home and needed urgent assistance.

Cradock, an orchard worker, later called back to reassure the police operator that he was all right.

A wombat like that allegedly involved in the incident"I’ll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he’s pulled out. Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right you know. I didn’t hurt my bum at all."

He pleaded guilty in Nelson District Court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose and was sentenced to 75 hours’ community work.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that alcohol played a large role in Cradock’s life.

Judge Richard Russell said he was not sure what had motivated Cradock to make the extraordinary claim.

Wombats are native to Australia and are not found in New Zealand. Although powerfully built and about the size of a small pig, they are very rarely dangerous. There are three species: the widely distributed common wombat and the much rarer southern and northern hairy-nosed wombats.

[Chicken]

^ i guess i need a panda to rape me before i go to china. in another news:

Police: Man Had Sex With Picnic Table

BELLEVUE, Ohio -- Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Police arrested Arthur Price Jr. after an anonymous tipster dropped off three DVDs that reportedly showed Price in the act.

According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck.

During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.

Price faces four counts of public indecency. He was freed after posting $20,000 bond, authorities said.

[napoleon]

i believe the swiss gun laws were also very liberal until quite recently.

In switzerland, national service is compulsory up to age of 30? and works a bit like the reservists everywhere else, where every year they have to do some ammount of training to stay ready, and they have to keep their equipement (gun) at home. So pretty much every home in switzerland has a gun.

[Chicken]

^ ahh, that explains little better.

but didn't it become illegal last year?

[DüM]

if he fucked in the table in his house would he be ok? I remember someone being arrested for fucking some other furniture.

[napoleon]

^ ahh, that explains little better.

but didn't it become illegal last year?

I remember reading a while back that in the last 5 years I they somehow changed the rules for national service to reduce the size of their army and reserves. Don't know anything about what they actually did or changes to their gun laws. I bet there's something in google but I'm too lazy and don't care enough

[Chicken]

^ surprisingly contradictory to their "neutral" image.

if he fucked in the table in his house would he be ok? I remember someone being arrested for fucking some other furniture.

i guess so. wouldn't think there's a law against fucking your own furniture at your own home. he must've been arrested for something like public obscenity and a lewd behavior on someone else's property.

[who8mahrice]

Official Web site hacked over porn ban

Hackers have defaced the Web site of Indonesia's information ministry in response to a government move to restrict access to pornographic material on the Internet, an official said on Friday. Indonesia's parliament on Tuesday passed a new information bill that criminalizes the transmission of pornographic material on the Web.

The Southeast Asian country has had a vigorous debate over pornography in recent years, exposing deep divisions in the Muslim-majority nation.

Hackers on Thursday posted a message on the information ministry's Web site (http:/www.depkominfo.go.id) saying: "Prove that the law has not been made to cover government stupidity."

The message was accompanied by a mocked-up photograph of a local information technology expert, who has been advising the government on the new law, depicted with a bare chest.

Screenshots of the hacked page were posted on the Detik.com news Web site and a cyber chat forum.

The message had been removed and the Web site was now running normally, said Gatot Broto, an official at the ministry.

The ministry said the law was a response to concerns in society about the negative impact of pornographic and violent sites as more Indonesians gain access to the Internet.

Under the law, anyone found guilty of transmitting pornographic material, false news or racial and religious hate messages on the Internet could face up to six years in prison or a fine of 1 billion rupiah ($109,000).

Indonesia's parliament has yet to pass a controversial pornography bill, which aims to shield the young from pornographic material and lewd acts.

Earlier draft versions contained provisions that could jail people for kissing in public and criminalize many forms of art or traditional culture that hinge on sensuality, sparking criticism it could curb freedoms and hurt Indonesia's tolerant tradition.

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSREE85445620080328

[selective beef]

Popeye's Famous Fried Chiken Owner Dies

[aapoli]

Max Mosley's sex orgy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxvFADEX3us

[FAM0US.]

Chicken is a cool guy.

[Chicken]

in another news, chicken met up with fam0us yesterday to buy a headporter bag off him. chicken and his gf also went to hakata ramen because of fam0us' recommendation, and had a very satisfying meal.

thanks again, man. nice meeting you and your woman.

btw, i always thought popeye's fried chicken was better cold. but i had no idea who's idea it was and the history behind it. may he rest in peace.

[hesse]

A Victim Treats His Mugger Right

Julio Diaz has a daily routine. Every night, the 31-year-old social worker ends his hour-long subway commute to the Bronx one stop early, just so he can eat at his favorite diner.

But one night last month, as Diaz stepped off the No. 6 train and onto a nearly empty platform, his evening took an unexpected turn.

He was walking toward the stairs when a teenage boy approached and pulled out a knife.

"He wants my money, so I just gave him my wallet and told him, 'Here you go,'" Diaz says.

As the teen began to walk away, Diaz told him, "Hey, wait a minute. You forgot something. If you're going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm."

The would-be robber looked at his would-be victim, "like what's going on here?" Diaz says. "He asked me, 'Why are you doing this?'"

Diaz replied: "If you're willing to risk your freedom for a few dollars, then I guess you must really need the money. I mean, all I wanted to do was get dinner and if you really want to join me ... hey, you're more than welcome.

the rest is here:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89164759

[sybaritical]

Boing boing needs a lot more credit than it's getting here.

This is sweet:

"Botanist sues to stop earth being hurled into a parrallell universe: A colourful American botanist, teacher, former biologist and sometime physicist says (in outline) that the LHC ( Large Hedron Collider atom smasher, based in a top secret scientific installation on the swiss/french border) may rip a hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum and so destroy the Earth. He wants the US government to act now and delay the LHC's startup while a new safety review is carried out"

[Handlethevibe]

Two men are pursuing a lawsuit to stop scientists from using a giant particle accelerator, saying it could create a black hole that might eat up the Earth.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/29/science/29collider.html?ref=science

It sounds comical, but wow.

[Chicken]

^ holy cow. it's now in ny times?

hesse, hopefully that kid's going to stop mugging people, most importantly, me.

[mr fluffernutter]

the rest is here:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89164759

this made me cry...

[M4TM]

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/3003_nazi_orgy.shtml

F1 boss Max Mosley has sick Nazi orgy with 5 hookers

Son of fascist Hitler lover in sex shame

By Neville Thurbeck

FORMULA One motor racing chief Max Mosley is today exposed as a secret sado-masochist sex pervert.

The son of infamous British wartime fascist leader Oswald Mosley is filmed romping with five hookers at a depraved NAZI-STYLE orgy in a torture dungeon. Mosley— a friend to F1 big names like Bernie Ecclestone and Lewis Hamilton— barks ORDERS in GERMAN as he lashes girls wearing mock DEATH CAMP uniforms and enjoys being whipped until he BLEEDS.

FAMOUS PAL: Max Mosley with Bernie Ecclestone

The multi-millionaire son of Sir Oswald, who was a pal of Adolf Hitler, plays a concentration camp commandant in a FIVE-HOUR torture chamber video.

more in the link above...

- and in other breaking news -

Brewers blow late lead but beat Cubs in 10

cub's lost!

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=280331116

doh!

[Chicken]

^ looks like mosley's trying to hold on to his job:

http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/news/story?seriesId=6&id=3323737

and how 'bout that fukudome guy?

[Handlethevibe]

WAYCROSS, Georgia (AP) -- A group of third-graders plotted to attack their teacher, bringing a broken steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape and other items for the job and assigning children tasks including covering the windows and cleaning up afterward, police said Tuesday.

Police say the alleged third-grade plotters carried these red gloves in their crime kit.

The plot by as many as nine boys and girls at Center Elementary School in south Georgia was a serious threat, Waycross Police Chief Tony Tanner said.

"We did not hear anybody say they intended to kill her, but could they have accidentally killed her? Absolutely," Tanner said. "We feel like if they weren't interrupted, there would have been an attempt. Would they have been successful? We don't know."

The children, ages 8 and 9, were apparently mad at the teacher because she had scolded one of them for standing on a chair, Tanner said. A prosecutor said they are too young to be charged with a crime under Georgia law.

School officials alerted police Friday after a pupil tipped off a teacher that a girl had brought a weapon to school, Tanner said.

Police seized a broken steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape, electrical and transparent tape, ribbons and a crystal paperweight from the students, who apparently intended to use them against the teacher, Tanner said.

Nine children have been given discipline up to and including long-term suspension, said Theresa Martin, spokeswoman for the Ware County school system. She would not be more specific but said none of the children had been back to school since the case came to light.

The purported target is a veteran educator who teaches third-grade students with learning disabilities including attention deficit disorder, delayed development and hyperactivity, friends and parents said.

The scheme involved a division of roles, Tanner said. One child's job was to cover windows so no one could see outside, he said. Another was supposed to clean up after the attack.

"We're not sure at this point in the investigation how many of the students actually knew the intent was to hurt the teacher," Tanner said.

The parents of the students have cooperated with investigators, who aren't allowed to question the children without their parents' or guardians' consent, he said. Authorities have withheld the children's names.

Police expected to forward the results of their investigation to prosecutors, Tanner said.

Children in Georgia can't be charged with a crime unless they are at least 13, District Attorney Rick Currie said.

Martin told The Florida Times-Union of Jacksonville, Florida, that administrators would follow school system policy and state law in disciplining the students.

"From what I understand, they were considered pretty good kids," Martin said. "But we have to take this seriously, whether they were serious or not about carrying this through, and that's what we did."

Four mothers of other third-grade students at Center Elementary called for the immediate expulsion of the suspected plotters.

Stacy Carter and Deana Hiott both cited school system policy stating that any student who brings "anything reasonably considered to be a weapon" is to be expelled for at least the remainder of the school year.

"We don't want our children around them," Carter told the Times-Union. "The one with the knife could have stabbed my child or someone else's child at lunch or out on the playground."

"This is an isolated incident, an aberration. ... We have good kids," Center Principal Angie Coleman told the newspaper.

ROFL. Well, if they had succeeded, no. But, jesus christ.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/01/kids.plot.ap/index.html