I Wanna Break My Foot

[BRAD PIFFERY]

i wanna break my fuckin foot, why?

I got a brand new plasma TV about a month ago, but since my wife was redecorating the living room, I had the tv in the garage, up against the wall, right next to where I have to meticulously have to park inches away from the tv, so my wife can have AAALLL the room in the fuckin garage for her to maneuver with freedom!!! Well we finally decide to put up the tv, a friend, which installs these things, comes over and we take the box upstairs...my wife sits down in front of the wall where the tv will go, to let us know where she thinks it would look good. So me in my rejoiceful splendor with the help of my friend, take out the tv .....then I hear "hey is the tv cracked" I look at my wife like is someone just offended my kid...I proceed to put down the tv and look, the tv was fully cracked down the middle...How? with my fuckin meticulous parking of the fucking car...the tire pressed up against it and broke it.....FUCK ME..literally dammittt

[denimdestroyedmylife]

consider yrself liberated from the burden of ownership

you have regained the world, snatching it from the high-definition void

your wall is free from the strain of supporting the heavy glowing eye

congratulations

[onemancult]

crack your wife down the middle.

[seraphim]

turn off your tv, go do something.

[BRAD PIFFERY]

crack your wife down the middle.

aint you the miotherucker that told me before to hit my wife too...I can tell you been rejected various times by the female and male persuasion...bahahaha

[mrip]

Return it to where you bought it and say it was cracked when you took it out of the box. Say you transported it vertically and strapped it down. They should accept it. I worked at Circuit City before and motherfuckers always exchanged or returned their cracked tvs even if they were clearly at fault for breaking it. Most of the time the warehouse guys(me) don't give a shit about tvs and let them drop and bang them around unloading the restock truck. Make a scene and the manager will probably cave.

[Pogi]

Warranty?

They may be forgiving....

[onemancult]

what the hell? i've never told you to hit your wife...

'twas a joke. your wife already has a gash in her center.

[Corbin Law]

nothing is more high definition than real life

go see some live theatre its the same

unless you have fucked up eyes

then your fucked for life.

[onemancult]

i changed my mind, you don't gotta hit yr wife, because i already hit her.

from behind.

[Ahlvahroe]

^^ i was waiting to scroll down and read what you put then scroll down some more to read 'twice'

[Lucas]

hahaha

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