Which way do you whipe?

[ExileOnMainSt]

Now as a traditional front to back whiper, I was in complete obliviance to other standard of whiping your ass. I've worked residential construction for 8 summers now and have been exposed to some pretty greasy people. In my travels, I've come to discover that some people are back-to-front whipers. These left-wing activists are people who do not just engage in back to front whiping, they firmly advocate it as the only way to whipe your ass.

They're are other subtle differences between as back to front and front to back whipers, such as bunchers (those of us who just grab, bunch and whipe) there are folders who neatly fold every square with thought and percision and the re-use bunchers and re-use folders who are more concerned with the conservation of toilet paper then getting poop on their hands.

Superfuturians, enlighten me: what style do you prefer when whiping your ass?

(I am a front to back, buncher)

[sean_]

you would be from windsor

[broneck]

i have a harem of 16 year old girls on staff at all times who lick my anus clean of all fecal by-product

[projectdenim]

Any chick who wipes back-to-front, I'm not stickin'.

[jeepster]

you know, i had a really intense discussion about this at lunch with some friends the other day. this isn't just a male concept either, apparently, girls have a hard time coming to terms with it as well (which is pretty gross, but it all comes out the same). anyways, i've determined the most effective way (for males) to whipe it front (scrote) to back (crack) and then the next wipe is a back to front, the third being a safety check. obviously, you do this as many times as you see fit before you're clean and whatnot, but it seems to be the consensus.

poop is an infinitely interesting subject.

:confused::eek::cool::confused:

[keagan]

I shit out of my ears.

so n/a

[rome1]

wiping is overrated

[ExileOnMainSt]

At pickup hockey last weekend this discussion was goin around and like 8 out of 17 guys completely advocated front to back no questions asked. I was dumbfounded, it would be nice to understand the logic

[GiZMO]

My health class in middle school was probably the worst. I had to explain why girls can't go backwards to forward in front of the entire class.

[Carl]

it would be nice to understand the logic

if you do both...it covers all your bases

i am also a buncher to fold over/re-user.

the result of having hippie parents...i pee'd outside almost every day of my life for 13 years.

[seraphim]

this thread just makes me hear family guy quotes.

'cool whip'

[evisu 2000]

you know coincidentally i've recently discovered that there are people who wipe 'sitting' (and by that i guess i mean crouching as much as you can? or something. i wasn't sure), and they had recently discovered that there were people who wiped standing.

[Handlethevibe]

you know coincidentally i've recently discovered that there are people who wipe 'sitting' (and by that i guess i mean crouching as much as you can? or something. i wasn't sure), and they had recently discovered that there were people who wiped standing.

Any accomplished wiper will know that you need to use a combination of the two to be most effective and keep a balanced equilibrium. If you've got the drips, you first should wipe while sitting or hovering an inch or two off the seat so if anything splashes down it will land in the toilet, whereas if you try to wipe while having a runny anus and standing up, you will get wet feces all over your bathroom floor and/or your pants/underwear which are crumpled around the bottom of your feet. Even worse is if it drips and you don't notice it, then when you've finished and are pulling up your pants, you get a nice wet surprise once your soiled boxers come into contact with your scrotum and gooch areas.

[sedx.]

there were people who wiped standing.

WHAT THE FUCK???>>!>!@!11

people do this standing?!!??

fuck that. take two pieces, sandwich, wipe front to back. check and repeat.

no bunching, no standing. it really is a straight forward concept.

[sedx.]

maybe wiggle a finger around a bit.

other than that, me no comprehendo.

[keagan]

actually now that I think about it I wipe from the side then turn a little to the left then drop it with my right hand.

I don't fucking look though

gross

faggots

I don't use tp either, I use kleenex

cuz im expensive

[GiZMO]

Once we ran out of TP and I was force to use paper towels. Roguh!

maybe wiggle a finger around a bit.

other than that, me no comprehendo.

NH0YI4lCniI

[sedx.]

gizmo that is fucked.

edit:

p.s. keagan... how the hell are you supposed to know if youre cleeeeeeeeeean?

you have to look!

[ExileOnMainSt]

I never knew people stood while whiping? interesting..

Also, my parents have some stupid modern bathroom thing going on in my upstairs bathroom which holds a "bidet" (pronounced Buh-day). Its quite a neat little device. It looks like a sink, at toilet level, that shoots up water in a fountain like manner. It's quite handy for when you get chapped asshole (no homo) from whiping too much.

any bidet users out there?

[so-so]

how the fuck are you introducing a bidet to us like its a new concept?

[ron2331]

aint that bidet thing messy. wont it splash choclate water all over the place. or do u sit right on it. but then u have poop on the thing. i dont know im from the hood u dont have bidets in the projects. thats some high class shit.

[evisu 2000]

you wipe first homie.

[Tyro1]

I met a guy who wiped back to front through his legs once while sitting...

[soraanaam]

I USE BIDET, POST PICTURES OF YOUR BIDET< ILL POST MINE UP LATER i have a seoyoung bidet which i bought during the grand ultra release only 500 made! plus it has an option of anus plus pussy and hot and cold water options

[rome1]

bidet= miniture anus shower. If you from the hood just take your pants off and sit in the sink, and turn the water on full blast.

[Ahlvahroe]

i used a bidet for teh first time ever during my trip to buenos aires this august, where it was winter at the time. so having freezing water shoot up your backside is not a great way to introduce it to yourself.

[GiZMO]

Does JP really have next level bidet that has rainbow water fountain show after it washes your anus in the Simpsons

[Guest jmatsu]

[mojinho]

this thread is the shit.

in brazil we have this thing to hose yourself out PRE-WIPE.

(side note: what's with all the misspellings of "wipe"? get with it.)

[r_mutt]

^^thats some pretty advanced technology for a third world ass looking bathroom.