happy birthday crustytheclown

[Ahlvahroe]

happy birthday kid, you came and you went (well actually from the sound of the story i dont think you came) but you are not forgotten.

i once farted and shat myself whilst going down on my (ex) girlfriend. it was thick brown liquid like mulligatawny soup and it went fuckin everywhere. luckily the lights were off so she couldn't see it. i just grabbed my clothes and split before she smelt it. i've never told anyone this before, i still have nightmares about it. i threw away my socks and drawers but i've still got the jeans.

well, thanks for the kind words

as a thanks here's another.

this better be the last though as i am destroying my credibility.

about six months after the previous incident my parents went away for a few days. i went out with my friends on the saturday night, and after too many drinks it seemed like a good idea to invite a bunch of people back to mine (my friends and some random girls we persuaded to come) . after a while people split off into couples and occupied the various rooms in the house. needless to say, i ended up alone and was pretty annoyed about it. i decided to go for a piss, but when i went in the bathroom one of my friends was screwing a girl in the shower (the shower wasn't on). normally i would apologise, give my friend the thumbs up and leave as fast as possible. but because i was so pissed off because i wasn't getting any, i just walked right in dropped my pants, sat on the pan and forced a dump out (accompanied by copious farting) at the same time chatting with the fornicators as if it was the most normal thing in the world (actually it was a one sided conversation as they were too shocked to speak really(although having said that, they weren't shocked enough to stop fucking!)) after wiping and flushing i washed my hands and left them to it. . when i woke up the next day i think i had the worst "what the fuck did i do" moment of my life.

[mspark]

Damn....i missed this dude? Shit! (Pun intended)

[TopVillain]

its not my birthday today... oh wait,yes it is.