Awkward Mushroom Experiences

[Spaghettini]

I know there's a mushrooms thread and an awkward thread but this is the lovechild of the two. Share your tales

Loving the awkward mushrooms stories. There could be a whole thread dedicated to them. They're a whole other kinda awkward.

Buddy on an intense mushroom trip at a high school party was getting some out of control visual/audio synaesthesia from the heavy bass so decided to go sit in what he thought was a secluded part of the garden, but it was actually a pebble pathway to the front of the house. After watching the pebbles boil for a few minutes and curling into a ball, host's Dad comes over; "hey... are you alright?" At which point dude says nothing, just cowers into a smaller ball thinking it will make him "more invisible".

After a subjective infinity of awkward silence Dad walks off.

haha this happened to me while i was tripping on mushrooms in central park. ducked into the first bathroom I saw, and as we walked out of the some women came in and were like "what are you doing?" and I got all sassy with them and was like "going to the bathroom, what does it look like?". then they pointed out it was the women's room so me and my boy just scurried away like drug-addled perverts

we probably looked like these guys at the time:

[Guest naknakBeast]

does fashin and drugs go hand and hand?

what comes first?

axis 1?2?3?

[bfan]

my friend got so paranoid that he thought we were trying to rape him. to be fair somehow the shrooms were so intense that at one point I lost my vision in the sense that I couldn't see through my visuals. what happened was we were chilling at this cliff spot overlooking a valley, and I couldn't find the way out when I had led them up there in the first place. this made him think we were scheming against him because earlier my other friend and I were having a long talk about philosophy and stuff, which he didn't quite follow and felt excluded. also someone mentioned how everyone in ancient greece had sex with each other, so the framework was set for a bad trip. that time I forgot that shroom trips are all about vibes which is a mistake I will never repeat

[youre sketch]

1. We took some intense shrooms one night. the dude that we got them from said not to take more than a half eighth or so. I took a half, friend takes half, other friend takes a full one. I had taken a little xanax before this.

Cut to two or three hours later. I "come too" in the same spot i last remember being in. My one friend is sweating really gnarly and saying he can't handle his thoughts. (keep in mind we have taken shrooms a good amount of times) My other friends starts immediately throwing up. Im just chilling and not even tripping at this point. They are freaking out so here I am consoling these two dudes cause Im super relaxed. All I remember thinking about was going to subway. No one really knows what happened during those two hours I cant remember. We were all in the same spot that we took the shrooms in.

2. Another time my and my roommate took some and this dude upstairs got disgruntled at us because he was harassing this girl that lived there. We let her in our apartment and let him know he was about to get his ass beat. Dude calls the cops on a drug complaint for our apartment. Police show up. Im tripping, trying to tell the cops this story and how we are not selling drugs there. They kept trying to search the place, but I refused and they really had nothing to go on but a random phone call that I was able to prove was not legit. They left, but it killed my buzz.

[playdisonlyatnight]

^now that ive got a benzo stash i am more inclined to use psychedelics, as im sure they would reduce tripping awkwardness or even abort a bad trip depending on dose

my story:

in grade 8 in the dead of winter i split a quarter oz with my best friend and we tripped all day at his house while his parents were at work. just after dark we are no longer peaking but the trip is still going strong when his mom shows up. so she comes thru the front door and into the foyer and finds us buggin out with huge pupils and all that. we make some strange small talk and explain how "we're tired" (its like 7pm) and awkwardly avoid talking to her further by going around from room to room in his house.

soon after my mom arrives to pick me up and shes speaking with his mom at the front door while the friend and i sit on the stairs trying to act normal. his mom explains how we're "very tired, but from what i'm not exactly sure" as i fumble to put my shoes on. then i stand up and spend what feels like 20 minutes trying to figure out which coat on the coat rack belongs to me (in reality there were about 5 coats on it, but they all looked the same to me). as they continued talking i ended up trying on like 3 coats before getting the right one and trying to make sure they dont notice.

another fun story involving the same mom that same year was when me and my friend got completely smashed off wine and beer all day while the parents were at work. i reeked of booze and she drove me home that night, i rode in the back seat even though it was just us in the car (awkward) and puked out the back window and down the front of my shirt without her even noticing in the rearview mirror in between conversation

[youre sketch]

I usually have some nice beer around when I take LSD as that helps with an intense trip. My stomach is just too iffy on shrooms.

[bill]

does fashin and drugs go hand and hand?

fruteswags + shrooms

gothninja+meth

[Bona Drag]

so this one time in college i ate some shrooms with a couple friends

decent trip, we walked around campus, went to the the top of the highest dorm and chilled on the balcony for a while and then decided to go back to my friends room to listen to some music

by this time it was past midnight, so march 31st had turned into april fools day, not that we were really aware of it

so theyre at the computer, and i go to sit on the end of his bed

and i feel something crunch

im like wtf, dude feel this

hes like wtf is that, pulls back his comforter and the entire bed is covered with this evenly spread layer of apple jacks

we all just stare at it for a minute, then kind of lose our shit, just repeating dude wtf to each other over and over again

i had to leave the room to get my head right

i cant remember how the trip ended, or if we found this out that night or the next day, but it turned out this girl from the floor below whod been jockin him had stolen one of those huge cafeteria size bags of apple jacks from the dining hall, dumped them all over his bed and then pulled his comforter over them as an april fools prank

way trippy mayne

[Spaghettini]

these are all great stories

my friend and i desperately wanted a cigarette but couldn't muster the communication skills to effectively to interact with a store clerk, so we decided to bum one off of someone. instead of just approaching a person in a normal manner, we decided that the best idea was to stand on opposite sides of this path and wait for someone to come by.

finally, someone came, and we watched this kid approach from about twenty yards away, posted up looking like we're about to jump him. the kid is staring at us the whole time like what the fuck? he finally gets close enough for us to ask, and is so shook that he hands me a cigarette without stopping his brisk pace. when i asked for a light, he threw it at my feet and ran away.

[pieiskewl]

i was tripping on mushrooms last year at the memorial day parade in my town. at one point me and my friend are sitting in a side street smoking cigs, i'm just watching some hick kid ride back and forth popping wheelies on his bike and making revving noises when i see some guy on a segway. i think to myself, holy shit i wanna ride a segway right now. guy turns out to be more retarded than i thought (in a deliverance inbred sort of way) but i ask him anyways if i could ride it. he replies, "it's not mine, i'm just borrowin it from this fella over here, he got it because he got injured in the war (points to crippled guy)" i just reply, "i need to leave now," and walk away. fucking awkward

[broneck]

Part Two in the ongoing saga of Tess and Matt after the Science centre.

So I get a ride back home and spend a Friday evening with my family, and after dinner I met up with Tess to head back to Hamilton. We take her car back to campus and I, being the gentleman that I am, offer to drive so that Tess can relax on the way there. And by relax, I mean chew most of a bag of mushrooms that she'd purchased earlier that day.

She saves a little bit for me, but obviously not enough to really trip, so I call someone up in my dorm who is known to have mushrooms from time to time. He tells me he has "some leftovers" but not much more, so I chew the gram or so that Tess has generously bestowed upon me in the car and see if i can race the buzz to Hamilton.

(Result: GMC Safari 1, Buzz 0).

When I get there I meet the friend with "leftovers" at his room and he proceeds to provide me with a bag of what can only be described as dried-up-chewed-and-spit-out sunflower seed shells. There wasn't a solid piece of mushroom i nthe entire bag, just a pile of really unhealthy looking dust.

I pay him $10 and walk like a depressed Charlie Brown back to my dorm room, where I show Tess what I've just procured. Not a big deal, she assures me, this will go into some tea and get me right high. I bring a kettle to a semi-boil and let it cool (as I'd heard you can ruin the psylocibin by overheating it), and dump the shitty contents of the bag into a luke-hot cup of Earl Grey which I proceed to drink slowly.

At this point the first gram I've chewed has hit me like a tonne of feathers - there's a slight twingy feeling, almost like a halo of pins-and-needles around certain parts of my skin but not much else happening really. Tess' trip is really starting to brew, so we decide to watch cartoons while waiting for the full effects of my own dosage to kick in. I'd been on a huge "Home Movies" kick at this point in my college career, and so naturally I threw an episode of that hilariously frustrating cartoon on.

Big. Fucking. Mistake.

As it turns out, that scene in Super Troopers when the kid eats the giant bag of shrooms and proceeds to hear echoes-over-echoes of "littering and...littering and......littering and..." over and over again - this is a very accurate scene. The petty arguments in the television show seem to multiply 1000 fold, and about 15 minutes into our second episode I start to absolutely lose my shit.

"I can't watch this. It's too irritating. I'm sorry they're just annoying the shit out of me. Can we watch SouthPark instead?"

Yes, no problem, she's tripping pretty hard but it's a pretty low-end trip, so she's mostly giggling and touching her own arms and legs for the feeling and clearly doesn't care what's on TV right now so long as it's not ... rape-porn or something.

I put on an episode of Southpark that I've always loved, thinking that familiarity will breed comfort and hopefully overcome this shitty feelign that's coming over my body.

Unfortunately, the familiar episode I chose was "Red Hot Burning Catholic Love". In case you're not familiar, the basic premise is that Cartman discovers a new and healthier way of eating - shoving food up your asshole and shitting it out your mouth. I made it to the anal-rectal eating DINNER PARTY scene (during which a dozen people stuff food up their asses and shit big turds out of their mouths into a waste-basket that makes its way around the party) before I can't take it any longer. I physically begin to feel shit work its way out of my throat and into my trachea - this accompanied by an atrocious burning in my gut.

It's not an overstatement to say this is among the worst feelings I've ever had. The persistent feeling of shit coming up your throat, and the constantly impending fear that the tip of that log is going to make its way up onto your tastebuds sooner or later. I still shiver thinking about it.

I get up and turn the TV off without saying a word and immediately go to the washroom to ensure that my digestive tract has not in fact reversed itself, and go drink a few mouthfuls of water and take the most bizarre feeling shit of my life.

I go back into the room and explain to Tess, who is still tripping but quite composed, that these are possibly the shittiest mushrooms I've ever had, and the reaction of my stomach with what we've been watching hasn't been good. For some bizarre reason she's feeling frisky and suggests that maybe a blow job will take my mind off of how stressed I'm feeling.

Note to everyone: IT DOESN'T.

We start making out on my bed and I'm immediately struck by how hot my crotch is starting to feel. Hot, and wet. Oh my god, I muse, I'm pissing on myself...fuck that I'm pissing on her. I get up and excuse myself once more to go and make sure that I haven't pissed myself. I head into the washroom and confirm that I have not actually urinated while making out with Tess, but do note how shrunken and terrified looking my penis is at this point in time (not exactly encoruagement while entering a sexual encounter with a girl I still barely know).

I come back in and crawl back on top of Tess, who has since stripped down to her bra and panties. Even during a shitty trip the girl looked pretty darn good, and so I try and focus on this fact as we begin to make out again. The pants urination feeling is still there, but I'm becoming acclimatized to it and there's now at least potential for something to happen boner-wise.

continued in next post....

[broneck]

As I'm starting to think that maybe, potentially there's a possible outside chance of something sexual happening here tonight, I begin to get a bizarre...recessive feeling in my tongue. My tongue feels like it's receding into my mouth, no matter how actively I'm trying to use it. I apologize again, roll off of Tess, and retreat to the washroom yet again.

A quick check in the mirror confirms that my tongue is actually receding into my throat, but it's doing so in a way that is eerily reminiscent of a the perpetual spiral of a barber's blue and red signpost - always moving downwards, never moving anywhere. I grab a hold of it, pinching it between my thumb and index finger. This horrible feeling continues around my thumb and finger, only ceasing where I have direct physical hold of the muscle. An unsettling feeling, and once again not contributing to an atmosphere of fiery passionate lovemaking.

I return to Tess and inform her that, regretfully, nothing involving my penis and any part of her fantastic body will be happening tonight. She's obviously disappointed, but understands and even comforts me, suggesting that everyone has one shitty trip and it's not my fault at all. What a lovely girl, I think.

Maybe we can just sit and talk. At some point in the midst of our stoned yammering, Tess informs me that, under a black light not unlike the one hanging over my bed (yes, I know...I know...), yellow highlighter glows radioactively bright off of clothing, or even flesh. I'm shirtless, and Tess is still in her bra and underwear, so we decide to turn one another into human canvesses for glowing radioactive yellow ink.

Strangely enough, I end up enjoying this far more than anything else thus far; there's something tremoendously soothing about the feeling of the marker's tip across my skin. It's wet and a little cold, and until this point I've been hot and my skin has been crawling, so it's a pleasant change and a nice distraction from the shitty feeling that's slowly seeped into every inch of me after chewing the shroom powder.

Unfortunately, this drug-addled relief was not to last.

While she's drawing bizarre glowing shapes and words and faces all over my half naked carcass, Tess begins to talk. She talks about her life in Waterloo, and all of her friends and how she spends her time, and without the feeling of my pores vomiting or my tongue and dick shrinking or pissing all over myself, I was able to totally focus on her words for the first time. It slowly dawns on me: Tess is talking shit. She's a fucking shit talker.

She doesn't say an original thing in almost 45 minutes, she's regurgitating funny things that her friends have said and blathering about how great her life is because her friends are all so amazng and would do anything for her because they love her so much, and how all of her friends are either sponsored skateboarders or amateur photographers or up-and-coming musicians and she can't wait to move to Whistler because she's a semi-professional skate- and snowboarding photographer, and she already has soooo many connections in Whistler...

Slowly but surely, I'm hit with a stunning revelation: I hate Tess. I can't fucking stand this girl, holy shit how did I not see it before? She's fucking selfish as shit, she hasn't asked a question about me in almost an hour now, she talks about herself like she's snowboarding photographer royalty, and possibly worst of all she's one of those girls who bitches about any and all girl friends and surrounds herself with dozens of simpering pathetic male friends who would do anything for her because she's a cock-tease to all of them.

I begin to feel shitty once again.

I excused myself for the last time. I got up, pulled on a pair of pants, threw a zip-up hoodie on like a bathrobe, and left her alone and high on mushrooms on my bed. I walked to my best friend Scott's room and relayed to him what had happened. The mark of a close friend is someone who knows what you're feeling before you do. He suggested that maybe I'd felt this way from the beginning, but was blinded by physical and sexual attraction. Clearly, he said, this is for the best.

I left Scott's room and walked around Campus, coming down off of the shittiest high of my life, covered in highlighter, zip up hoody flapping in the wind. When I got back to my dorm Tess was asleep. We awoke the next day and I gave her directions home. They turned out to be wrong, and she called me 4 hours later to scream at me for sending her on a wild goose chase.

God I hated Tess.

[scientifick]

few years back me and some friends were tripping in my basement, it was around 3 or 4am and i was walking upstairs to get something with a high life 40 in my hand and my mom was in the kitchen for some reason. don't remember the conversation but she was definitely weirded out.

[youre sketch]

I took some acid one time because I thought it would allow me to stay up and study for an exam i had at 9. Of course I end up outside of the class looking real awkward at like 815 because I haven't slept. I did study for a few hours though. So I am in class and people are trying to make small talk to me and Im all sketched out, big eyes and all. This one dude comes in and someone asked him if hes good for the exam. He doesn't know there is one. I about lost it, I don't know why but I thought it was hilarious that someone was less prepared than me. Turns out we only had to take the multiple choice part of the test so I didn't really do that much worse.

[fallen angels]

One time in college I was shroomin with some buddies at a park on campus, having a great trip, when i had to take a fat piss. i head to the nearest building, and i see all these pilgramy peasant-looking people, full outfits and all. they were talking to me but what they were saying wasn't really registering in my head and i just kept walking around looking for a bathroom. i kept seeing more pilgrams and kept thinking about how these shrooms were unreal. next thing i knew, im backstage of a play, tripping balls, and everyone's asking me who i am and what am i doing there. i dont even remember if i replied anything to them. turns out the building i walked into was the drama dept and they were having a play that night, hence the costumes.

[fallen angels]

later on that evening i wandered back to my dorm, reflecting upon the incredible trip i had. i couldnt wait to share my experiences with my roommate, who knew i was out shrooming. so i get to the dorm and i enter to elevator to go up to my floor. When the elevator door opened, about 20 Korean fobs said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" and some korean birthday phrases. i was still tripping and i bugged the fuck out. its not my birthday and i'm not korean! i sprinted my ass off away from them and to my room down the hall, as they all watched with confused looks on their face. i told my roommate something weird is happening, and pushed him down the hall to show him. so he kinda explained to me it was this girl's bday (who lives on our floor). she's korean and really short, and i guess i didnt notice when she was standing right next to me when they all yelled happy birthday. fuck.