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I am diagnosed as schizoaffective , having symptoms  of schizophrenia and bipolar type 1. .  Have been diagnosed as such since three years ago when I heard the cicada invasion in the Bay Area and had A dream experience where i travelled time.  My recent hopitalization lasted a month and i was 5150 5250 7 times.  I had managed to walk 33 miles on the freeway going towards Los Angeles by walking at night jn my fullcount 1105 with white plaid pajama pants on over so that i look like pajama sams dead ghost and truckers wouldnt hit me and kill me.  I was hving communications with pokemons that were unsettled by the popularity of pokemon go and the social destruction it caused.  

 

 

My favorite brands are iron heart undercover and supreme.  If i can save enough at my new job at amazon for a. borremans parka from undercover by jun takahashi i will purchase that and attempt to be cool homeless guy one day in san francisco.

 

 

Anybody else schzo?  Id like to hear ya storyv

 

 

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I will talk about my recent hospitalization.  I was booked by the highway patrol a few miles outside Madera county for " being on bath salts ".  This was not the case however as I was completely sober .  Had not eaten or drank water for 2 days and had not slept.  I had been reciting buddhist prayers and sitting meditation.  At this point i thought i could eat the elements through the pores of my skin so they handcuffed me and i thought my pores could transmute the handcuffs into tungsten form dna manipulation.  The cops wreslted me to the ground and i struggled to majntain my composure.  I looked on the scene with a bit of interest and faith.  The handcuffs dug deep into my skin.  I still have scars to this day.  once in the hospital i thought everyone was in on a conspriacy to farm bovine animals as brain mahines for the alien drone apocalypse.  I beleived that the hospital had invisible floors where invisible heads in formaldehyde fought endless wars to destroy alien races through drone pay-technology.  My purpose of being in the hospital was apprent to me :  I was to undergo a serious procedure to turn my body into Jiang si: the chinese ultimate vampiric predator.  I saw a lady who looked like the ancient one from Dr Strange.  She gave me a look of understanding as the cops rolled me into the icu.  I pissed in a sampler cup they gave to me as they restrained my arms and legs.  I managed to make the stream arc and nearly hit one of the cops.  I though i was going to meet my friends of previous lifetimes and that an old friend had came from japan by walking on the ocean floor to look over me.  They put me in the room with a security guard and I continued to fight the power. Triggering in him a deep uncertainty that what he was doing was worthwhile.  They gave me a large dose of Ativan and incubated me.  I dont remember the next two days I woke up intermittently with three needles in my left arm and one iv in my right.  My arm puffed up like baloon 5 inches across. I thought I was turning. into luffy from one piece.  The next few weeks were spent in an intense state of suspicion and paranoia coupled with physical distress.  They gave me a large dose of haldol which paralyzed me for a day after bringing me into court and declaring me gravely disabled.  I have since the. acquired two jobs and purchased many items of clothihg from iron heart.  I am on 9 mg of invega ( paliperidone). and 40 mg of Prozac.  Thank you for listening to my story.

 

 

Edit: I said Incubated i meant Intubated as in a tube down the throat when i was passed out

Edited by Zapper

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hey dude this is all really interesting. i'm a soon-to-be-therapist and have worked on and off in a home for people diagnosed with various psychotic (and usually heaps of comorbid) disorders, but mostly i find it hard to find a good account of the insider perspective. tbh, the so called treatment you've received is way off. do you care to tell more? have you since received any assistance other than neuroleptics?? how is life these days?

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Hi Walter,

I dunno what to say but I do know that somethings up.  I got hella paranoid and thought all the nurses were satanists that were trying to go to the higher floors and that the therapists were all in the dark and didnt know anything so they couldn't help me.  I thought that the doctors were super powered street fighter like characters who could use the scalpel in a fighting sense.  Didn't help that the medical brand that the tables were licensed on were called "Stryker"  Made me think hospitals were some sort of demonic traning ground.  And my nurses name was Mercy didnt really help that her voice was really strange in a cute way though.  I think that at that time my reality had collided with another timeline and i was getting all sorts of distortion and interference with a crazier realm than ours.  I dunno if that realm stays in the waking world because My dreams have now entered a similar dimension where the visuals and feelings are about the same as then.  I start to think that my dreams continue into my waking state and i am actually asleep when i am awake- that my actions are all flippin over to the dream world and having great consequence.  I am currently attending an outpatient program while beginning work at an amazon warehouse.  I gotta say it feels like I lost something important - my mind and my self control.  I think that the medicine mainly addresses the positive symptoms of psychic interference and distorted reality.  It doesn't do much about the non-integration into society that I experienced.  I was not talking to anyone, i mean it I would go days wihtout talking to a soul.  Just in my head and staringi at books wihtout opening them.  I get kind of this sharply lonely feeling from everywhere now.  Nobody seems to have known or seen what i have been through.  Only other schizophrenics invoke a sense of familiarity in me - that our struggles are equally confusing.  

Thanks for listning

 

 

Edited by Zapper

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black N3B from 2010, black adirondirak sweater from 2009 , black roses sweater , wool coaches jacket from 2013, various pants and oxfords .  I also got some caps.  I flipped a lot of my shit For rent lol smh

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I knew this jewish kid with it, boy oh boy he was a fucking mess man. sucks bro, condolences

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