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almondcrush

900 numbers

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going through my room i found an old copy of the village voice from back when i was younger and dumber

flipping through the phone sex and escort service ads occupying the last few pages

i began to wonder

when you call up "oriental flowers" or "asian delights" or "oriental asians" or "chopstixxx" or "eastern oriental pleasures"

do they have some girl on the other end doing the whole "ooh me so horny" thing

and if they do, do you think there are ever white, black, latina, or otherwise non-asian aspiring actresses on the line

im tempted to call, but the paper is back from '99 and im at my parents' house at the moment

though tbh i would love to see their reaction to "sweet eastern touch" when the verizon bill comes in

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everyone fucking knows that it is just a some fat girl going "oh" and "ah", whilst filing her nails or something.

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What pisses me off when you ring these numbers is that they make you wait about 5 mins before you actually get to talking to someone?

Am I meant to sit on the phone with a hard on selecting numbered options while I stroke myself trying to stay errect? No! I should have blown and been doing something else by now, most likely in a drunken sleep!

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On a side note:

I have a porno where this really fat asisan girl (while sucking this guys tap dick) looks to the camera and says, "fuck me in my asian pussy, fuck me long time..."

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Oh and when that bill comes.... my friend got really drunk one summers day and we thought it would be funny to call a 900 number from his parents house, so we dug up some pornos and picked out a good one. Then proceeded to keep the girl on speakerphone for almost a good hour or so, and in the end my man's bill came sure enough and that shit topped out at over 400$.

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