Express yourself.

[andosj]

ex·press:

–verb (used with object)

1.

to put (thought) into words; utter or state: to express an idea clearly.

2.

to show, manifest, or reveal: to express one's anger.

3.

to set forth the opinions, feelings, etc., of (oneself), as in speaking, writing, or painting: He can express himself eloquently.

What I want you to do is basically post up blogs about what's currently going on in your life. I made this thread to help us out with our problems in life.

So I'm sitting here trying to write my essay but I keep getting side-tracked. Honestly, I'd rather spill my guts out on here for you all to read than write my stupid essay. There's various questions I ask myself that come in to my mind randomly. Such as, Will I pass my classes this quarter? How much money will I make in my next pay check? Do I really want to go to So Cal this spring break? All these questions are randomly going through my head.

I'm stuck in a position where I don't know who I want to be when I grow up. I've been asked that question since I was in kindergarten. I'm 19 going on 20 and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I live in a small cozy apartment with a family of 7 and it took me a while to realize how unfortunate (with money) we were. I didn't know shit when I was growing up. I looked up to people who didn't graduate and it made me think graduating wasn't for me. I was lazy and ignorant. That's until I became closer with my best friends and all they did was love me, take care of me, and encourage me to graduate. I woke up early mornings and stayed at school till 10pm working my ass off to get my credits. Finally, I made it. I graduated. Then I applied to a local community college and got in. Well, everybody gets in if you apply. My first year of college was shit. I barely passed any of my classes and rarely showed up to school. Now it's my second year and you can say I'm doing better but not as good as I should be doing. My friends are still in my life. Still doing what they do. Still loving and encouraging me. 2 of my boys are in the military. It's hard living life knowing their not around to call up everyday just to hang out. They're living their owns lives and pursuing what they want to be. My other bro goes UC Irvine now and he still tries to help me and encourage me in any way he can. But he's living his own life now and accomplishing what he needs to become a dentist. Finally, my girlfriend. She also goes to UCI and it's hard maintaining a long-distance relationship. I really do trust. Believe me I really do. She's so good to me but these thoughts I get in my head make me lose trust in her. When I know shes really telling me the truth, something in my mind tells me to not believe her. We fight, we love, we laugh, we cry, we smile. It's probably like a relationship you have currently or had. She does whatever she can to motivate me and help me. I do love her. She's a big reason why I still go to school. She encourages me so much. It's like I'm waking up everyday now for her. I know without her in my life I'll be very depressed.

I'm fortunate to have both of my parents. It's hard accepting the fact that they were refugees from Cambodia fleeing from the Khmer Rouge. I know we don't have a big house, luxurious cars, fancy clothes, and a lot of money. One thing I know is that we still have each other. My best friend always told me that it doesn't matter how you were raised or where you came from. Anybody can make it if we try hard enough. I need to tell myself that everyday. I need to prove to the world I can make it. I need to make all of my loved ones proud.

Stay Strong. Thank you for reading. Express yourself through this thread and I will try my best to help you out. Don't be shy. I'm proud of myself for actually posting this up.

[broneck]

Neg rep for you

[mapclub]

You forgot to add no homo somewhere in your thread title bro..

On topic (? ) note my dad also moved (to Aus) because of the Khmer.. the most that he ever said about it was that he had to leave all his first edition english (thor etc) comics behind, haha.

I'll rep you for having something in common but I don't see this thread going well -.-

Best advice anyone will give you right now is to just do that essay ಠ_ಠ

If writing this thread helps than it's all that matters!

[playdisonlyatnight]

self expression makes a healthier self aiight

[SDES]

Li9XW0Jz8WU

[Guest naknakBeast]

rep for you bro...

I'm also Khmer so I applaud you for putting your all into school and working hard towards your goal. I understand it's hard for Khmer parents to fully express their love for there children but, do understand they love you. I grew up in a foster home where my culture of two worlds collided all the time. My mom still dosen't know what i do for a job (Im a state counselor and i bartend) she still wonders if i work 2nd shift or 1st. That's all she knows is manufacturing job. Don't make that degree who you are. I am currently attending graduate school and still don't know what i want in my life.

I applaud you for speaking your mind.

[Guest naknakBeast]

don't let being diabetic,middle class,family life,girlfriend situation hold you back from anything. People are right when they say "You can be whatever you want to be" Don't let that hold you back from anything. I have cut alot of people out of my life including family for trying to be skeletons ie. holding me back from my dreams. Remember you have to fight and keep fighting for what you want, shit is not going to just land on your door step. Btw there are alot of shitheads on here that will try to shit on you but, remember most of these people are insecure as the next man. Shoot me a pm if you need any help with resources or anything.

[fobsquad]

sounds like a lot of 1st or 2nd generation [_insert_]-American lives. I'm glad to hear aussies can relate. Where the other continents at? We're all human

[andosj]

Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse. I fucking rear ended a parked car this morning. My final was at 7 a.m. and I was late and I tried to fit my Dodge Caravan in a tight spot. Well it wasn't that tight. I was just tired as fuck and sleepy. I fucking rear ended this kid and he was sitting in his car.. I fail. I even forgot my license at home and luckily he let me slide and told me he would call me later.

The bad part about this is that I probably won't have the money to pay him in time. I work only on the weekends and I only get about 6 hours a week. My siblings now have their own children to look after. They can barely help me out not. I was going to school to take my final exam and this happens.. Yes I know I was a reckless driver but I felt like it was all karma.

So when I got home I told my parents and the disappointment on their faces killed me. To be honest, I cried. Its so depressing seeing those looks on their faces. Knowing its hard for money to come by for us and knowing that this kid doesn't know shit about me so he'll press charges and will take money from us that we don't even have. I just want to re-wind it all. I really do. I never parked in that fucking parking lot before and when I do I fucking hit a car. Money is hard to come by for some people. I know its hard to come by for my family and I. I know i add more stress to their shoulders. They can barely pay off the bills. They live off of us now. We give them the money we work for. We pay them back for raising us. I have a really bad job. It doesn't pay me enough for what I do. All of this is just starting to pile up and I really don't know what I should do. All my plans are ruined because of this incident. The kid took pictures of it so hopefully I can find a way to get them and post it on here for proof.

On the bright side.. Thanks for reading and the P.M's! It means a lot to me and you guys are really helping me. I'm glad to know some people have it just as hard as me and whatever obstacles may occur we're going to overcome it.

[Guest naknakBeast]

insurance man... you dont have to pay out of pocket for anything and if anything just go to the junkyard what kind of vehicle was he driving? probably not a m5 or an r8 right? relax big guy you'll be fine.... at 19 I was an addict giving blowjobs for a hit of crack .... i kid but, you get what i mEAN!