TTM

yes i second that notion.

*gavel*

You're gay

couple weeks ago me and a friend thought we'd make okcupid profiles to see if we could pick up bitches on it without spending so much fucking money going out or whatever.

long story short went to a party last night and had a superawkward moment where you run into some e-beezey in real life. luckily i was so fucking drunk i didn't even realize it until i got a friend request on fb he next day. lul

i'm terrafied of this happening to me. Good to know its as awkward as I thought it would be.

While we're on a fat-hate tangent (or maybe that's the point of this thread) everybody must see this reddit thread

http://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ob38u/whats_the_most_embarrassing_fatperson_thing_youve/

featuring hits like

I used to stop after work and get three double cheeseburgers for the drive home. And then would eat dinner with my ex-wife an hour later. When I tell thin people I used to do that before I lost the weight they look in horror. When I tell obese people, they nod.

and

Pulled a muscle in my back wiping after a deuce. It was one of the strong motivators to get into shape.

thought Adele was british

fuckin SNAP

lolol

yeah shes the half sister or brother of beatle

i lol'd

was on the bus the other day. two rando's were dick swinging about their arrest record real loud. The younger kid was saying how he had 3 felonies and numerous other bull shit, had been in and out of prison and how nobody ever fucks with him. Kept going on about how back in socal he was "OMG- one man gang, fuckin, runnin round town like fuckin jesse james. OMG man."

I'm getting a front row jerry springer special here but manage to keep my cool. Jesse finally starts bragging about how many people he's killed, 12, 13,15?? Couldnt control my body any longer and cracked a big grin and made some weird stifled laughter sound. It got dead silent and they both look at me for a good 20 seconds. I just stared straight ahead.... they got off soon at the liquor store

Definitely shit in a bag. Mad curious attention whereas fucked voice just means you are a nasty smoker.

Would you rather be a juggalo or live as india's lowest caste - "untouchables"

I've been logging my mood on a scale of 1 to 5 for the past month before I go to bed. If its wednesday and you've had a complete shit day, its weirdly comforting to see physical proof that you were totally jazzed before going to bed on monday.

Her accent is adorable

http://youtu.be/kmdxikyxvny

Youtube thing isnt working

The Cranberries - little drummer boy

http://youtu.be/kmdxikyxvny

as a grad student i find this very funny

this is the most accurate and clear presentation of how one would experience the world traveling close to the speed of light, unfortunately the execution of the video is a little.....shitty

JQnHTKZBTI4

edit: in other words, traveling at the speed of light would not be nearly as cool as you think

M11SvDtPBhA

reddit had an awkward story thread today. nerd asperger goldmine

(none of these are mine)

I was in the middle of an exam at school, and I couldn’t concentrate, so I decided to pretend to go to the bathroom so I could get up, stretch my legs and kill some time. I was unaware when I asked, but to prevent cheating, someone had to stand in the bathroom with you, I suppose to make sure you hadn’t hid any books in there. Because I didn’t need the toilet I just stood at the urinal with my dick out, not pissing. After about 10 seconds of the most awkward silence ever, I hear this guy ask, “Is it hard?â€. I thought it was a bit of a weird question to ask, but I already felt awkward as fuck, so I say, “No dude, I just don’t need a pissâ€.

He meant the exam. Cringe.

I was walking to work one morning, very tired as it was really early. As I was walking along a narrow(ish) footpath I saw a woman with 2 small children with her, presumably going to school, walking towards me. They were taking up the whole side-walk as they walked, I assumed one of them would fall behind to let me by. I assumed wrong. When we reached each-other we sort of came to a standstill. Now as I said I was I was tired, my though process was somewhat hazy and I was slightly pissed they wouldn't move as there was 3 of them, so I decided to simply step over the young girl. Now, either my legs are not as long as I thought, or the girl was deceptively tall, but I failed to get over her. Basically what I did was t-bag a small girl. I looked a the mother she was horrified. I was speechless. I just didn't know what to do, so I just reached down pushed the girl aside, put my head down and sort of walked/ran off.

favorite:

I was starting grad school in a few days so I decided to get to know my class mates. I put up a message on Facebook proclaiming to the world that I was in town and I was the shit, they should get to know me. Two girls left a reply with their address. I immediately decided to take them up on the offer and started walking to their house. I was new in town and had no idea where the fuck I was going. Got Lost, but eventually found myself at their door step. This is when it struck me that I was the stereotypical Indian nerd, the likes you see on Big Bang Theory. I mumble every time I see a girl I am unfamiliar with. I had of course stalked these women on Facebook briefly because , I could. They were pretty, which made it worse. So I stood there contemplating if I should knock on the door or just run away. I saw a couple of people walk by giving me weird looks so I in my infinite wisdom I decided it would be best if I pretended to go through their mail , giving people walking by the impression that I lived there. It was at this moment one of the girls opened the door. I had both hands in her mailbox. I mumbled something which would have been a good excuse if my parents caught me masturbating.

Anyways she smiled , laughed and gave me a hug. The hug went on a microsecond too long and I got a boner that rubbed against her leg. She said oh, hehe and then let her roommate hug me. The rest of the evening was weird.

i had the $1200 coal miner look

Projectile vom'd last night all over my floor and bathroom. Was eating oreos all night shutter

turn the odds around and be the only none socially retarded engineer at your school

been watching "lets play" videos on YT at night while getting ready for bed. Something relaxing about watching a dude play and narrate an old 90's playstation RPG.

was at chipotle trying to get my burrito on. But first i had to smash. Open up the door, lo and behold, there is some dude there shitting. Gives me this frightened deer in the headlights looks. Solid 1/2 second eye contact. Guy had the hairiest fukin legs. Seriously, who forgets to lock the door when they shit? I checked and it WORKED.

So pissed i had to go through that right before i was to enjoy a delicious meal. fucking asshole.

edit: this wasn't a stall, it was a 1-person single room style bathroom. door opened directly to the view of toilet.

applying to be a field engineer so i can work on an oil rig to rape the earth and make 6 figures out of college

watched the ironman race begin and end today in Madison, fuarrrrk that got me so pumped. I'd have the cycling part down pat, but my running and swimming would need some serious training. I feel like it would be easier to do this with a stable gf, since i could redirect all the mental and physical effort i already put into thinking about that shit into training.

i'd probably make a biiiig bowl of oatmeal with peanut butter and honey, then put a scoop of icecream on top and eat it while watching some kung fu

i just found out a company I would really love to work for is headquartered a few blocks from my place.

how do i force someone to hire me???

hang out where the workers hang out (lunch, happy hour). Make friends, network... Profit???

I'll hopefully be able to crank out 2-3 publications by this time next year along with my thesis. From there its ??? job?? IDK. Would like to move to Austin TX.

Yeah yea, starting a company would be "so kewel" and an ultimate dream of mine. I have nothing tying me down (fam, debt, etc) and everybody says being young is the best time to take that risk.

Does anyone have experience with taking 40-60k and making a business grow from that?

Edit: just some ramblings

It seems like every pursuit in life rewards some trait which isn't immediately obvious - college: ability to have a consistent study plan, prioritize work & social life. Academia: ability to write grants & find funding, lead people and direct research, squeeze work from grad students. Entrepreneurship: ???

damn. you shaved your crazy ass hair. too bad