dovo

what'd be awkward (for them, anyway) would be for all the dudes here who hailed kreayshawn as the next big thing to come forward and identify themselves today.

i made the kreayshawn thread. dont think i ever said she was the next big thing. debbie could still get it tho.

was chillin in the fitting room the other day at work when my coworker walks in screaming OMG "im soo embarrassed" i ask why and she says "i just ran into this guy i knew from when i was younger and hes so hot now and now im ugly and fat." she starts telling me how dudes brother was the cute one but now this one was hotter. then she said "im going to lose weight and have sex with him" loud as fuck as if nobody was in that damn room changing. as shes walking out, i see this dude peak his head out from the curtains, realize she was gone then straight dip the fuck out.

so naturally i tell her he was in there the whole time she was talking and she starts freaking out so i try to calm her down by saying "chill, i can try to help you lose some of all that weight, you can start by eating less". she then tells me shes vegan where i reply without thinking "well damn, you must be doing something wrong" she then stormed out and i havent talked to her since.

at least somebodys got a fuck lined up?

i propose Ronn_el takes life/pic requests on a weekly basis. since you aint using your money for anything good let us live through you ronn_el itll make us feel like ballers and you live a less boring life.

like lets see a pic of you with two naked bishes in your bed fucking each other with Champagne bottles while you and the delivery boy eat pizza and watch.

or pics of you pulling up to the club in a hovercraft eating pizza.

or pics of a girls only party in your apt while you stand outside and eat pizza.

or pics of actual furniture in your apt and dishes with pizza on it.

or pics of you melting down 27k worth of jewelry to make an iced out canonball that youd then shoot into the hollywood mountains and then having pizza delivered into the new cave youve created.

or pics of you in the pouch of an angry kangaroo while you eat pizza.

or pics of you making a human pizza out of a naked bitch.

or pics of you taking pics of me eating pizza and spending your money.

im a black guy who talks like a white guy who acts like an asian guy that dresses like a black guy mixed with a white guy who probably didn't like black guys in the first place.

park my car and am sitting in it for a second before i get out and go to the barber when this guy pulls up behind me and hits my parked car. as i can feel my car shaking while this guy is getting out his i get out to check it out.

get out the car walk towards the back and find this guys car is still on mine pressing my bumper in. i calmly walk up to the guy as he's trying to flee and say hey you hit my car, its fine though can you just back your car up? (I'm getting bodywork done to my shit soon anyway so i didn't really care).

This guy then decides to go off on me yelling at the top of his lungs to give him a break and starts yelling at me to call the cops then so while he's yelling i tell him to "relax nobodys calling the cops, i just want your car off of mine" he starts screaming " I'm sick of you people" over and over again so i tell him to "just back your fuckin car up man" and he responds "a fucker? are you calling me a fucker?! don't call me a fucker I'm a gentleman I'm sick of you people and your motherfucker this and fuck you that and FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK"

by now a ton of people are on the street seeing what all the noise is about and I'm just standing there while this du is flailing his arms everywhere telling me that I'm an asshole trying to give him problems trying to complicate his life. so random dude walks up and is like "uh, you hit him, whats your problem man?" and the guy then looks at the cars again, finally assess the situation gets in the car moves it back slams his door and starts yelling at me again that I'm trying to set him up and am i happy now with his fingers all in my face which i reply "yes, yes i am. thank you for moving your car from ontop of mine" and as i start walking away, he decided to keep going in on me as I'm walking down the street yelling at me from his car.

this whole thing went on for a cool five minutes before he finally moved his shit.

fuck people.