to the blonde stripper at centerfolds...

[greentea]

who are you? you gave me a lapdance and left too soon.. =(

[sybaritical]

*sigh*.

Number one in the all time dumbest things to ever think:

"Wow. This stripper really likes me"

[minya]

*sigh*.

Number one in the all time dumbest things to ever think:

"Wow. This stripper really likes me"

but what other options does greentea have?

[greentea]

[englandmj7]

*sigh*.

Number one in the all time dumbest things to ever think:

"Wow. This stripper really likes me"

No way dude!! I was at this one club and this stripper was like all dancing on my junk and giving me dirty looks and she totally wanted it........then she left me with -$75 and a boner......she really loved me...... right?

[will_i_am]

i'm going to deliahs den tonight on route 9 in nj with my boys. yea for stripper jean lap fade.

see y'all there.

[englandmj7]

See, when you go to Thailand you don't EVER go to a stripclub in the U.S. again. The difference there is that when you see an effin' gorgeous girl on stage (which you do see plenty of) you simply say, I would like a lapdance, and *poof* you get a great lapdance. Then you say I would like to take this fine lady home to engage in acts of intercourse and *poof* she love you long time.

The next day you don't have blue balls, and are only $25 poorer, which is less than half what you might spend on lapdances alone in the U.S. Of course, the crotch rot and VD is optional........

[will_i_am]

aren't they all men tho?

[englandmj7]

A skilled procurer of Thai delicacies knows the difference, and if he makes a mistake, he sleeps with the man out of defeat and does not say a word to his friends for fear of retribution......thus is the code of the whoremonger.

[denimdestroyedmylife]

See, when you go to Thailand you don't EVER go to a stripclub in the U.S. again. The difference there is that when you see an effin' gorgeous girl on stage (which you do see plenty of) you simply say, I would like a lapdance, and *poof* you get a great lapdance. Then you say I would like to take this fine lady home to engage in acts of intercourse and *poof* she love you long time.

The next day you don't have blue balls, and are only $25 poorer, which is less than half what you might spend on lapdances alone in the U.S. Of course, the crotch rot and VD is optional........

if you haven't, read BUTTERFLY STORIES by William Vollman---------semi-autobiography of the author whoring through thailand, collecting all manner of VDs. summer-time reading.

[keri]

Why does this gal have to be blonde, why not a chestnut brunette????

[englandmj7]

^^ Thanks for the recommendation DDML, it is actually a quite interesting culture, isn't it? I mean it is feckin' sad because the girls there aren't crack whores, they do it because there is nowhere else they can work. Another noble (yet sad) aspect is that they send more than half of their money back to their families (usually in farming parts of the country) to sustain them. They really are very sweet girls. I did read a very good book on the prostitutes in Pattaya, which is where my family has a house.......they have such funny codes/customs/tricks that you don't realize until you notice the author point them out......

Alas, it is the only country in the world where a fat balding 45-yr. old man can walk down a street and have 100 gorgeous girls chanting "handsome man" whilst grabbing his jewels and trying to pull him into their bars.....I once saw a parapolegic (sp?) guy in a remote wheelchair with a beautiful girl standing on the back whilst he zoomed down the street with a beer in hand on the way to his hotel....aha ahh

[englandmj7]

^^ Well from what I just read, it is fictional, so it won't help you learn much of the country, not to mention it supposedly takes place in Cambodia, which is not Thailand.....

If you need Thailand advice, I lived there for two years and traveled quite alot..make sure you squeeze in the guided trip down the River Kwai. I did it last year and it was very fun/scenic. You sleep in floating cabins and eat whilst being pulled down the river on a barge......

[denimdestroyedmylife]

you'll have to forgive me, king of british pop. it has been a few years since i read it, but i do believe the characters traveled a bit in the book and i seem to recall that thailand and cambodia share a border.

and as far as the autobiography/fiction aspect of your nitpickery, vollman's mcguffin is to blur the lines between the forms. i also read his book, THE ICE SHIRT, that is as much non-fiction as it is fiction as it is autobiography as it is manifesto as it is poetry.

[englandmj7]

^^ I see, I did not have cause to doubt you your reptile excellency......

back on topic where do i find the ladies wot spit pingpong

People think this shite is a joke, but by god it is everywhere in Patpong!!

Go to an 'upstairs' bar there and whilst being horribly ripped-off and threatened watch a woman's $@%#^@ do EVERYTHING in the world: drink a bottle of Coke with a straw, shoot darts, paint a picture.....you name it, they can do it.

[darkanimal]

Hahahha I actually saw the show for a few minutes before there was a police raid at Patpong. Then everyone was suddenly dancing covered, in all the bars. They really do tricks. It was ok, we were warming up and grabbing some booze for our major event, which happened at this place called Champs Elysse. It's like a huge luxury hotel clean hotel, but actually a brothel. The ground floor is like a restaurant where the prettiest girls I've seen are lounging around you take your pick, get a key and head for the room.

[greentea]

brings back memories of my trip to phillipines, as soon as my feet step down on the tarmac,cousin picked me up and straight to the massage parlor.

[mizanation]

falling in love with strippers is a no-no.

sleeping with them, and befriending them. a go.

[mizanation]

i can't believe i let that be my 1000th post.

[greentea]

congratulations.

[will_i_am]

greentea post some massage parlor stories, i'm visiting the motherland soon haha.

[greentea]

oh yeah. so we got in right.. me and two of my cousin,we got to pick and theyre all pretty hot lookin girls..so we stripped down to our robes, cleaned up,bathe..massage etc.. girls are pretty casual about it...lol..i was layin down she on top ridin while she was textin her other friend with my cousin...15 min later she text my girl back saying that "i think hes done" i was bustin up,hilarious shit.. my second cousin on the other hand,he was little more aggresive,he skipped all the massage shit and just went to business,tossin the girl around and shit,it was wild..(everyone had thier jimmys on of course)..good fun man..bring the jimmyz.

[denimdestroyedmylife]

i can't believe i let that be my 1000th post.

good job, mizanation!

[Ahlvahroe]

too many awesome quotes in this thread to not raise from the dead.