hahapete

April 17, 2013

Shouts to my girlfriend who spent all of Coachella texting me horribly blurry pictures of unrecognizable music acts from her phone. Shouts to my younger sister who spent all of Coachella with my girlfriend sending me pictures of my girlfriend doing things at Coachella.

It was like I was there.

I went out to eat during the weekend with a friend and the entire meal she was on her phone. I asked her who she was talking to and she said, "Oh, no one." I see you texting, doe. But it made me wonder, she totally brushed this person off as no one. That's sorta depressing, man. I wonder how many times people have been with me, or talking to me, and have told others they weren't doing anything. Granted, she just probably didn't want to tell me who it was. Regardless, the food was bomb and I had a fun time (not really) trying to figure out who my girlfriend and sister were seeing at Coachella through their shitty pictures with no captions.

My dad's looking to buy a car for weekends and I've been sending him links from bringatrailer all day hoping that I can inspire him into buying something dope. He used to own a BMW 2002 and has had a picture of his on his desk for as long as I remember. I've really been trying to talk to him into a Porsche but I think it'll be easier to get him back into a BMW New Class. My mother's not too keen on him buying an older car even though she used to rave on and on about my grandpa's Alfa Romeos and I know she's not going to stop my dad from buying a classic car.

I wonder what happened to the owners of the house that Chris Dorner died in. Think they got some insurance money?

edit: ayo how come everyone single one of my posts has some weird text sizing issue with it?

April 5, 2013

hahapete what industry are you in?

"Business". Ha.

I've been working for various companies dealing in pretty standard Silicon Valley stuff since I was 15 or 16 and have worked for different types of companies (nearly always in an office setting) ever since.

Years ago before Facebook was poppin' I was part of a group of "new media consultants" for a company that was trying to market itself as younger and hip (it didn't work). Someone I knew got a job with the company and basically got them to hire three people to help him. He got 2 of his friends, who were pretty crippled with drug addictions (not sure how HR didn't notice/why they didn't care), and me jobs. While they were off fiending, I was going through an alcohol fueled existential crisis (that didn't culminate in anything) and suggested that they make a Myspace page, which I ran has best as my love of bad whisky would let me. So I guess for a while I worked in social-media? Hahaha.

Last year I worked in the accounting department for a decently sized corporation. I don't have an accounting background nor do I know anything about finance and am pretty shitty with money so I'm not really sure how that happened but I, essentially, was in charge of the data-entry dudes and spent most of my day googling things and reading the various company emails I would receive because they somehow added me to a mailing-list for all the heads of departments and important people within the company.

I also briefly worked for a company that started expanding rapidly and frivolously a month after I was hired and found myself with the bullshit, nonsense title of "departmental cooperation supervising officer". It was a cool gig because I was the motherfucking supervising officer of departmental cooperation and the only person in the department of departmental cooperation so I had no one to report to. The company ended up flopping and purging both cash and employees because the dude who owned it got a large inheritance and spent it all on the company without realizing that you need money coming in to support all the expenses you just made. Whoops.

One of my favorite jobs was an assistant position where I drove around in this dude's BMW delivering his mail between his house and various offices. He "didn't trust" shipping companies, the post office, and email so he hired me (He had me come to his house for an interview so I pull up, ring the doorbell, he opens the door, looks me over for ten seconds, asks me if I can drive a manual, and hired me on his doorstep. I never had more than a five minute conversation with him.) to pick up and drop things off. I basically spent eight months driving up and down 280 and the 101 bringing him various shit from his house, going to various storage lockers filled with his and his company's financial records, and delivering notes to different people he did business with. But he ended up buying a mansion in Los Altos Hills and working from home so I worked part-time for my dad (where I couldn't spend all day stoned) before getting another office job.

Right now I work for a medium-sized company that does a lot of different stuff. I handle a lot of internal shit (which I of course learned how to deal with when I was a departmental cooperation supervising officer) and am, essentially, a glorified office manager but not really. I do a lot of random things. The company I work for has been slowly pushing to expand and diversify even more so it should be pretty interesting what direction they take and whether or not I get offered a better position.

I've been snaked (more like my apathy has hindered me) out of positions at big companies a few times over the years but am content where I'm at. Wouldn't mind working for Google, though.

April 3, 2013

I've been short-listed for a new position at work. It would give me a considerable raise and elevate me up quite a bit in the company. But if they offer me the position I'm gonna have to actually work. Right now I'm at this great spot where I'm high enough that I can delegate most of my work to people with no issue but also low enough where while I'm seen and somewhat heard, I can mess around and it's chill.

It definitely sucks having coworkers who are more than willing to do your work. Ever since we got a few interns last year I haven't done anything. These dudes do my work better than I would do so I just let them. But now I have absolutely no drive at work. I spend eight to nine hours at the office and I do maybe two hours of work a day.

I get so bored during meetings that I started taking notes to avoid falling asleep. Someone noticed and told someone else and now the people above me think I'm super serious about this job. Nah, I take notes cause I can't draw so my doodles are shitty. I'm not serious. I spend most of my day eating Triscuits with the interns and reading shit on wikipedia off of my phone. I'm not serious about my job.

Man, where did my ambition go? I used to come to work early, do all my shit, and be proactive.

I guess it's time to get serious, again.

March 26, 2013

I wonder what it's like to play solitaire with actual cards.

March 14, 2013

My girlfriend's been continuing on her crusade to get me to become a vegan.

She came over with a fish bowl and a few fish on Monday. She thinks that if I take care of pet fish I will start to like fish and will stop eating fish. I think that's her logic behind her "gift". I don't know, truthfully. The entire time she was explaining the fish thing I was thinking of a way I could give them to my parents or sister.

So last night we go out to eat with her friends and I'm talking to one of them at the table about the fish. I tell her laughing and completely joking that I'm thinking about telling my girlfriend that I eat dogs so that way maybe she'll get me a dog.

One of my girlfriend's friends who I don't really know and was sitting by me interjects with, "You eat dogs? I can't believe you eat dogs. You're disgusting." She starts freaking out and repeats, "You wouldn't eat MY DOG, would you?" a hundred times. She makes this huge scene at this table of twelve where I know two people, maybe. Everyone's looking at me absolutely disgusted and freaked out.

My girlfriend, who was in the bathroom, comes to the table and has no idea what's going on. I try explaining to them that I was joking and I don't eat dogs but they're having none of that so I try to tell my girlfriend what happened but she's preoccupied with all of her friends asking her if I eat dogs.

It finally, thanks to the waiter (s/o him, who was confused as fuck but saved me), died down. Needless to say, I didn't say shit the rest of the time and avoided eye contact with everyone.

After everyone's done and everything's paid for, we all walk outside. Right then a friend walks by with his dog. I said hi to him and bent down to pet his dog. After some chit-chat and some ear rubs for his dog he said something like, "what's with these girls?" and I turned around to see my girlfriend's friends all glaring at me while I'm playing with this dog.

March 7, 2013

dead.

February 28, 2013

My girlfriend and I were gonna for a run today but instead I made nachos and watched House Hunters while she was out exercising or whatever.

February 28, 2013

Asian guy and girl skrillex

@ 5:03 - "Inspired by classics of West Coast underground hip hop like Freestyle Fellowship, Living Legends, and Talib Kweli, Macklemore began writing lyrics at the age of fourteen."

huh

February 18, 2013

My girlfriend and I had plans to go out to lunch so I walked into her apartment and some dude I've never seen before was just standing in the living room staring at me as I walked in. Kind of still stoned and definitely hungover I stopped and just stared back at him. And then these random children popped up out of nowhere and started staring at me too. And then some lady came into the living room. None of us said anything. We just stood there. I stared at them, they stared at me.

And then I remembered my girlfriend didn't live at that apartment anymore and I walked backwards out the door slowly.

February 7, 2013

My coworker shaved his head, bleached his eyebrows, and is calling himself a conceptual artist now.

My boss starts out quoting Louis C.K. enthusiastically and ends up mumbling to himself while walking into his office, where I assume he's Googling more Louis C.K. bits to never finish telling me.

This Asian intern who has been doing the majority of my work for months came up to me and told me he hated me, he was gay, and he was putting his two weeks in.

I've been pretending I don't notice the vegan snax my girlfriend brings over when we watch The West Wing together even when she makes a point to tell me how delicious and vegan they are because she's trying to get me to become a vegan and I'm not becoming vegan.

If I could be one musician on top 40 radio, I would be Pitbull.

Are Guitar Hero games still popular?

I am thinking of having a will made and have it give out specific amounts of money to certain relatives for specific things so my oldest sister gets 500 dollars for a gazebo but has the option to get half that if she doesn't want a gazebo.

I saw a cute dog the other day and then found myself looking at adopting cats from the SPCA.

February 4, 2013

Do you guys remember cell phones that only had enough memory to hold like 100 text messages at a time?

Man, I remember I had a girlfriend back then who would text me all day (so expensive) and I would have to flush all my inbox like four times a day.

My Nokia wasn't built for those T9 hoes.

I had strugglephones until I got a Sidekick. I felt so next level but then iPhones came out and I was behind again.

January 26, 2013

Felt so plebe with my DVR which could only record two TV shows at the same time.

So I got a new DVR, that can record five shows at the same time, and now have to try to remember all the shows I used to record.

edit: what the fuck is wrong with the size of my text in this post

January 22, 2013

I made a crass joke to my friend and she punched me in the gut. It was kind of hot.

Edit: that is much more of a muse than a confession...

I been having these urges lately to wife someone and have a hundred kids. My life is great and I'm happy so it's not like I have a void to fill. I am not old and time isn't running out so that can't be it. I just don't know why I want to have kids and a wife right now.

Edit 2: is that even a confession, though?

I suck at deciding which threads to post in and how to categorize what posts goes where, that it takes me time to decide what to post, where to post it, and whether or not I should even post in the first place.

This should go into first world problems.

Fuck.

January 17, 2013

i'm bored at work and school. tell me what news article sites- be it fashion or regular news, do you guys read. i need more reading!!!

Always good reads here:

http://thebrowser.com/

Updated everyday with a various articles on a huge range of topics.

January 5, 2013

I was at dinner a few nights ago with this girl when she asked me if I was seeing anyone else and if we were dating exclusively or not. I was kind of shocked. At the risk of sounding like a total douchebag I told her I didn't know we were dating and I thought we were just friends. She was offended. According to her, and what she believes constitutes a date, we've been dating for a few months now.

But, going off of what she uses an example of our 'dates,' I go on dates with different people at least twice a week. Is solely getting lunch or dinner a date? I don't think so unless it's blatantly expressed as being so. I hang out with dudes and do the same shit her and I do all the time. Does that mean I'm gay or bi or go on dates with guys? Lol... no.

All I ever do is text her asking her if she wants to eat somewhere, meet up with her there or pick her up, eat, and then leave/drop her off. It ends there. Rarely do we ever do anything other than that. The closest I've gotten to her is an awkward hug (initiated by her, of course) and I go out to eat with her because she 1) always pays for her food and tips well 2) will eat where ever and 3) tolerates me blabbering about this and that before the meal and the silence during the meal.

That's not a date. Maybe to the Puritans but not to me.

I've never seen my actions of getting hungry and wanting to eat out but not wanting to look like a loser eating at a restaurant by myself as "dates".

In fact, if what I've been doing for the past six years or longer has been construed as me dating both males and females, I'd rather just eat at restaurants by myself.

Edit: Also I'll add that the girl I am actually dating (according to my definition, which she agrees with) is vegan so she often won't want to go eat at the restaurants me and the other girl go to. And she's fine with it because my relationship with the girl who thought we were dating is simply culinary.

January 5, 2013

No chumps allowed in 2013.

December 30, 2012

I was accosted by a cool mom last night while picking my sister and her friends up after Wintersalt. She was blasting Skrillex out of her Landrover and asked me how old my kid was. I told her I was picking up my sister. She replied, "Yeah, I'm picking up my sister too!"

I said, "No, I'm waiting for my sister and her friends." She quickly said, "Well, I'm picking up my kid and her friends and maybe I'm picking you up too!" She cackled for two minutes.

Her daughter showed up before my sister did and was incredibly embarrassed by her mom.

lllllllllollllllll.

December 19, 2012

If the Mayans were right about the apocalypse, I hope it happens after the end of the business day Friday so UPS still delivers my new socks.

December 10, 2012

Dad: my older sisters and I split the purchase of a new MeisterstÃ¼ck since his other one disappeared.

Mom: a few painting related items off of her Amazon wishlist my sisters and I get every year via email + a couple things I bought when I was in Israel.

Oldest sister & her husband: a couple random books taking up room on my shelf (we exchange books every year) + a Visa gift card + bottle of Chimay (tradition (hate this word) with my two brothers-in-law)

Second oldest sister & her husband: few knick-knacks from Israel + Visa gift card + bottle of Chimay

Younger sister: a few books she wanted from Taschen + iTunes gift card + two tickets to see Fun. in Oakland in February with one of her friends + a Moleskine + a subscription to Teen Vogue which she will 'hate' but read cover-to-cover every month + her own Netflix account so our parents don't "ruin her suggestions and ratings" + a Keith Harring iPhone case + more useless shit I'll buy her between now and Christmas. Whenever I get her something serious she doesn't like it so I get her the same shit I would have gotten her when she was 12-14.

And I think I may buy myself a Kindle. But idk.

November 22, 2012

people who only listen to one genre of music. especially the worst when it's only hip hop.

Only underground hip hop.

November 13, 2012

if you want to know what yout current girlfriend will look like 20 years from now, look at her mom

My grandpa used to tell me this all the time.

And once when I was 16 or 17 he met my then girlfriend and told me later, "Well... I hope you're in it for the end game and she has a good looking mother because she's rough."

One of the dozen times he ethered me when I was in high school.

November 2, 2012

Beirut

Nairobi

Zanzibar

Bangkok

I crossed off Cairo (super brief stay) and Jerusalem earlier in the year.

November 2, 2012

If a tsunami or a flood happens in the next month, I'm a wizard.

Too many thing I've dreamt of have been coming true lately and I've had dÃ©jÃ vu far too often this month.

Build me a temple.

November 1, 2012

I've been hanging out with one of my younger sister's friends (uh oh). She's vegan and is all 'bout that life. I am not. She brought me lunch (too soon, bro) and it was straight nasty. I've had plenty of vegan food before but this shit was next-level gross. Being the chump I am, I ate it while smiling and telling her it was delicious. As soon as she left I went out and ate some delicious dead animals.

I h8 vegans but there are way too many of them that are attractive in the bay.

October 21, 2012

If a tsunami or a flood happens in the next month, I'm a wizard.

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