inc abs man

This has just caused me to figure out her email password, and look at her shit.

I really fucking hate myself sometimes.

You gotta admit though..feels good don't it.

I don't know if it ever made its way to sufu, but there was a list of songs that were made had Jesus been a rapper. One of the songs was called "Fallen Angels"(Lucifer diss). I forgot the rest of the songs though. It was cool.

Something that I've been wanting to see...

A movie with today's biggest stars (horror/mystery/ or drama) filmed with a camera used from the 40s/50s and filmed with old techniques(no shaky cam, zooms, different lighting, etc..)

I've been thinking about these two ladies I see at church often who could be in their late 50s or early 60s. Possibly Filipinas. Both long and slim for their age with long beatiful graying hair. May have been very nice-looking in their 20s...

I always thought David Duchovny could play an adult version of Doug Funnie. Dude looks just like him!

i stayed home a few days last week and smoked

i had a coughing/runny nose cold and i felt great

i think it kinda took my mind off the cold?

just dont take super fat hits and you should be good

i dont feel like i can exist right now, or ever after this

its not really that i dont want to, i just dont feel like i can deal with everything, mostly things i dont know about like the life and all that cliche shit

i feel like suicide could eventually seem like a viable choice, just because i feel so overwhelmed with everything

i think im depressed, but this feels like its completely different from anything like that

i always get into moods like this and i hate it because i really dont feel like i should be alive in this world

i dont even know what point im trying to get across with all this

For you my man...

My experience with female Asian teachers:

2nd/3rd Grade: First Asian encounter was through a substitute.

Her name was Ms. Pain...>_< and from what I remember she did live up to the name lol

7th-8th Grade:

Mrs. Miller for Art class: Was nice..short haired

Mrs. Tsuruta for computer class: Long-haired Japanese lady in her mid 40s I guess..gave me an evil look this one time.

Mrs. Tengan for math: old lady was evil but at times actually had a heart.

College:

Ms. Rawal for bio: okay...

Mrs. Nguyen for math: hot damn..a little eye trouble but okay in my book

Ms. Kauk: I sent her a letter..nuff said..

Current: Mrs. Ly for math: nice and sweet

THis is fucking amazing, and I will put 5 on it that you are also Taiwanese. Only Taiwanese dus can pull of this shit.

Sorry to disappoint, but I'm Filipino. I can't believe my mom pulled it off though. I think my dad knew and just didn't care. Plus, I think my mom has accepted my dad's ways. I mean everytime my dad goes away to the PI, my mom already knows he's going to have "fun."

Hmm..now I wonder if my brother and sister know all about this as well.

Of the three Full House daughters, my favorite would have to be Stephanie Tanner. DJ was kinda boring and Michelle was adorable but was a bit too much at times. They got it right with Stephanie with her trademark lines, "How rude!" and "Well pin a rose on your nose.."

and Family Matters was awesome during the third season.

There's a lot of Phos in my area. I think I might try that new Pho 4 U near Pinoy Pinay..we'll see how that goes..

Marriage must be really boring...

I remember around 1997 when my dad went to Vegas with friends. He left us a message on our answering machine just to keep us updated on how he was doing..At the very end, I could hear a woman's voice saying.."Who you calling?". Then the message suddenly stops. My mom flipped out. It was crazy the next few weeks/months. I could see my dad on the phone speaking to his you-know-who on various days. He was like "keep quiet" to me. I was like 9/10 yrs old at the time.

Now fast forward all the way to 2002/2003..One day I get a phone call from some woman looking for my mom. She says to me "your mom has been having an affair with my husband." I'm like "okay.." then I hang up and just go back to what I was doing. I kinda knew she was also cheating..She'd whisper on the phone/go to another room all the time whenever she was talking to "him."

After all this..they're still together. lol...

I was waiting for my mom at Marshall's yesterday. While I was in the car, I noticed a nice Asian lady had parked next to me and she didn't roll her windows all the way up so I slipped in one of those 1$ lotto tickets inside. Nice! 4 more to go!

I purchased 5 1$ lotto tickets...put a post-it in each of them saying "Hey...I hope you win something...God bless." I put each of them in an envelope and I plan on placing them on top of the windshields of 5 cars at my school. I think I might give one of them to this Asian lady walking her dog I see at Liberty Park everyday around the evening..

Also one of the lotto tickets had a insert for a gift card and luckily my dad gave me an In-N-Out gift card the other day with 6.50 in it(enough for a meal). So that should brighten someone's day. I'll give that to someone special.

Ginuwine - 100% Ginuwine

Ne-Yo - In My Own Words

Utada Hikaru - Exodus

Justin Timberlake - Future/Sex Love Sounds

Brandy - Afrodisiac

Has a great soundtrack too...

Oh shit! I actually posted the original version.. I took out that I found out she had a sister and that she was half-Japanese at the last minute. Also, I was going to put one other piece of information but I think it was way too personal....and CPK is California Pizza Kitchen..I left her a gift card of it..about 11 bucks lol.

Maybe I'll post another letter in several days. Tune in.

2-22-10

Dear Professor Kauk,

Please don’t be alarmed by this letter. I’m a former student of yours. I took your Microbiology class in the Fall Semester of 2009. Both the lecture and lab. I just wanted to share with you my experience in the class. I’ve been holding all these feelings inside of me for the past few months. I thought it was a very emotionally draining class. I felt like I lost a part of me when I took this class and I’m still slowly recovering from it. Lots of ups and downs. But I passed…although I wish I got a higher grade. I just never was involved in a class like this. Very eventful. Lots of work and studying. Earlier this semester (Spring 2010), I was in the library in one of the cubicles and just suddenly did a freewrite. I just wrote all of my thoughts on paper about my experience in your class. Well… here it goes…

Where did I go wrong with Microbiology? I underestimated the class… Yes, I got the books and all, but it didn’t really help me much in the end. I didn’t know how to use it to my benefit. The class was more of a memorization-type class. I didn’t take the first exam seriously. I was distracted. I wasn’t focused. I tried to read and keep up. I should have memorized instead of reading. I’m a slow reader. I wished that there weren’t so many pretty girls that semester. Even you, Professor, were easy on the eyes. I’ll never forget that green outfit you had going on. Green top with a white and green skirt. Stunning! However, all that got me in the end… I failed the first exam hard. I dug a huge hole for myself. For the second exam, I managed to get a C. However, around this time, I was so anxious about lab. I didn’t know what to do from time to time. Thank God, I had a good group. They were so kind and helpful. Angels in disguise…

The lecture was getting more confusing. I was told to print and answer the review sheets from each power point. This was the part that destroyed me. I did try and answer all the review sheets. I gave it my all. However, in the back of mind I knew I was going to struggle with this exam. I wasn’t studying correctly. I didn’t even get to cover much of the last lecture of the unit. I was still hopeful however. So the day for the 3rd exam arrived. Man was that test confusing! It was hard! I just wanted to pass it. A week later, you posted the exam grades on TalonNet. It was a Sunday morning, I believe. I was on TalonNet and looked up the scores. I had failed the exam big time. I was in danger of failing the class. My confidence was nearly gone at this point. The rest of the day and week was an emotional one for me. I was so negatively affected by that 3rd exam. I felt like dropping the class. I was scared. All these doubts would begin to cloud my head.

I was actually surprised that you apologized to the whole class about the poor results of the exam. That stuck with me. I felt you should have never apologized. You gave us all the necessary information to pass. But anyway, you’re so humble and kind. I miss having that kind of teacher. I haven’t had one like that since high school. I should have taken more advantage of your patience. You had a lot of it. However, I was too shy...too intimidated…too self –conscious. You even offered the class an extra credit quiz. However, I had not yet recovered mentally from the exam scores and so I would skip it out of fear. Looking back, I should have never skipped it…

I don’t think I ever recovered from that third exam massacre. But as soon as the new unit started, something ticked in me. I was hungry. I think I had finally found my identity in the class. I wanted to do everything I could to pass the next exam. I even used flash cards for the first time and let me tell you…they helped!!...a lot!! This next bit may sound cheesy, but I turned to my Catholic faith for assistance. I would go to church and pray the Rosary more often from this point on until the end of the semester. I should thank you and Micro for helping me grow closer to God(ha!).

As a result from all those flashcards, late-night and early-morning studying, I nearly aced the 4th exam. I was happy, but not for long as I knew the final was still ahead. I would eventually pass the final. I think I missed no more than 15 questions. I passed the class with a high C. I was hoping to get a B, but no. I’m not mad at you or anything like that. It’s just that I’ve never worked so hard for a class( the second half) and at the same time be emotionally involved in it only to get a C. But I guess you do reap what you sow…I’m not sure a “C†will open doors for me, but hopefully just by having passed the class, I can see some light.

Thank you Professor, for having read this far. You’re probably creeped out by all of this. I have to say sorry as well… I googled your name and I must say, there is some very personal information on there. I didn’t know you were half-Japanese and you and your sister look alike. Anyway, I should have never done that. I was planning on leaving a letter to you on the last day of school, but those thoughts went away once I was struggling with the class. I even planned to send this letter around Valentine’s Day, but that would have been too weird. I’m glad I didn’t do that. Anyway, I’m hoping your current students are doing well. They should be fine…you’re a really kind and humble teacher. Don’t worry, no weird “I love you†in the end…but instead a “peace be with you†will do.

Peace

P.S.

I hope you like CPK!

Just a letter I placed on top of my professor's windshield of her car.

Hope she read it...