tac0tron

My recent blabber on superconfessional.. maybe too personal for sufu but I appreciate the support/advice lol

Acr J1A-LP,9 of 10 condition with less usage. All bag,logo tape,jacketsling,sheet included. Size m

 

Grailed says L, which one is it? 

You should check out my gallery. No show up right now, but at some point there will be another..  

http://supertalk.superfuture.com/index.php/topic/159111-supertrash-%E2%86%92-s-f-g/

Be sure to check out the work, only a couple days left!

its a hoax

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-34918491

nothing really "alpha" about it, I just needed to do it out of self-respect. 

originally a letter was supposed to be delivered with the stuff, but i figured it just didn't matter. 

I gave her stuff to her sister yesterday, still haven't heard from her, but i'm not waiting. 

Landed my first full-time job after graduating! Surprisingly, its in finance lol. 

I found out she's at least alive from her sis, so thats good. But this just means that she's completely ignoring me.. there's a huge part of me that really needs to confront her and just dig for the truth.. but maybe this is her way of telling me. Friends have been telling me that i'm probably just another problem that she's avoiding; she feels so bad for how shitty she's treated me versus how i've done her, that she doesn't even have the guts to tell me in my face that she doesn't want to be with me.

Its helped me realize that this is all really just an ego thing for me.. like i think I deserve some sort of answer or something. When in reality she doesn't owe me anything. 

Cheers everyone, and congrats to vanilla

Next show by vanilla wafer! Details up top. 

Over due superconfessional post.. warning, a long one!

tl;dr: I'm stupid, too nice, i'm really worried rn.

So i've been in a serious year-and-a-half long relationship with a girl at met at uni last year. When we first started hanging out, I knew she was a drug addict (she was trying to get clean at the time, really straighten her life out), also diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and recently, ADHD. She was awesome though, so empowered and creative. Sharp and ready for anything. After hanging out and messing around more, we started to get serious about our feelings we had for each other. I knew it would be a lot of work to be in this relationship.. she even once started crying about how she might ruin my life. But I wanted to be with her and help in anyway I could (I recently read my horoscope star chart.. turns out i'm attracted to people that need help lol gotta evaluate that), and support her. 

But I never thought it would turn into this.

What followed other than the great times we had, were just lies, more drugs, and madness. She'd relapse, i'd take care of her while she's in withdrawal. When she's stood me up, i've just dealt with it like its no problem. She's lied to me so many times about where she is, who she's with, etc. it's just been so disrespectful. But I always find a place in my heart to forgive her though, often chalking it up to the lies being a symptom of her addiction or just her anxiety overcoming her decisions. I do believe that those were true for some cases, and she really does have issues to deal with. Things got so bad last school-year she had to take a break from a couple quarters. Anyways after drama, as soon as she came back to SD at the end of summer, things went nuts. Her sister finds a drug baggie, tells her parents, gf tells me that they are pulling her out of school. The first day I get to see her out of months of not and missing her, i'm taking her to the airport to send her home. As I walked her to security, i glanced down and noticed she was texting her junkie ex bf. I demanded to know what the fuck was going on right now. She then confessed that she was being kicked out of her home, and that the ex(?) was the only person she could think of in that she could stay with (...um but what about me). I just left, went to my car and sat. This was for sure a deal breaker. The next day I find out from her sister that her parents never kicked her out of the home, she wanted to leave (which would explain why she told me she had to buy the plane ticket). I also get sent screen shots of texts from her friend, where she's telling her that she still loves the ex. I text her saying that this is done. She says okay, understands, etc.. The next day she's back in SD as she has mended things with her parents. We meet up so I can give her shit back, but maybe you guessed this next part.. she convinced me to get back together with her! I also rationalized it to how we both talked about her coming back from her break as another chance for us, and it was something I held on to. How could I be so stupid? Anyways, after that it hardly feels like a relationship. I only see her maybe once or twice a week; talk, fuck, talk, dip. Never real quality time anymore, and its always cut short with a bullshit lie of an excuse. After weeks of her lying to me about shit, I finally confronted her and said that I was fine with not having a relationship, that I didn't care if she was seeing that junkie. At this point I just wanted something real with her, something honest to where she wouldn't have to worry and lie.  I just wanted her to be real with me. She insisted that she wanted to be with only me, and that the trust issues were something we could work through- I said okay. My friends have said that she's never going to tell me the truth, and they're probably right. There's pretty clear evidence that she's been hanging with the dude, and when I call her out on it she can still just lie to me like its nothing? I'm just too nice, naïve.. I think i've put up with this for so long because I tend to see the good in people, especially loved ones, and I forget the consequences of the other side. I still love her, and believe she can succeed, etc. I still think she's the awesome person she's always been, and its really sad to think about how drugs have really screwed with her life.. but I was down because she seemed so determined to get better, where I'm willing to be with her as long as she's willing to put the work into it too; even though she knows what to do to get better, her depression and addiction leads her to poor choices (see me rationalizing). But this relationship is no longer a two-way street, and its sad that I've only started realizing this a week ago. She just needs help. Help that I can't give. This is driving me crazy, everyone can see it, and I need to start caring about myself more. 

However, right now I have no idea where she is. Last week I was supposed to pick her up from school, and when I got to the pick-up spot she wasn't there. I called her phone, went straight to voice mail. I just chalked it up to another episode of not following through, and sent her an angry text. I still haven't heard from her, her phone is still going to voicemail, and I only found out yesterday that her sister doesn't know where she is either. She could be with the dude, which would honestly be the better scenario. It's not the first time she's just cut off and went dark for a while, but I'm very worried because this was so sudden, and I know her depression has been very bad lately; i'm afraid she's hurt. 

imagine a sufu without rep points

backed out of a show 

i'm too nice, its gonna ruin me.

lvc

last orgy 

nonnative

vans cali

the jacket is new. patches or nah? 

The first time my grandma taught me how to cook something, I was so shocked when she said, "... and then you add the msg..."

myheartisablinkingnintendo 

People who can't own up to mistakes or simply admit to being wrong even when it's the most petty shit. 

It's so bad when you've caught them redhanded, and they still can't own up to it. 

When someone I care about ends up being a junkie who lies, avoids problems, and hurts the people that care about them.

no please stay nice  

edit: lmao even though they're different images, i've already shared this project. i'm a dummy.

who do you love?

gf said we'd hang tonight. I guess she forgot and instead made plans to hang with some gay dudes she met off an irc channel. 

beer.