siamese

hi hi

uh what are we supposed to say if we are

just

talk about how dunk we are?

also, is it gross that i just chased rum with almond milk?

the lady at the bubble tea place put so much bubbles in my cup

I've always pronounced Ann D as anne duh-mewl-uh-meeshter

just asked my step father how he thinks the name is pronounced

"ann damn-you-molester"

i have an old samsung phone i think i need to get a smart phone but i think it might be too addictive

exactly this

my phone is actually one of the cingular phones that were recalls, apparently because a good amount of them sparked and.. caught on fire?

everytime i listen to death grips' "culture shock" it makes me not want a smart phone

"nerd culture" and the people who identify with it

some of the people at my friend's art school, I simply cannot handle

it's 3am and i am upset, rant incoming

people always told me about how the real world is tough and all that, and I've always believed them and knew it was true, but I think it just actually hit me today just how difficult it is on a mental level. I got my first job a week after I moved out, when I was 18, and my second job a week after that. Working ~45-50 hours a week every week and paying all sorts of bills, having to wake up at 4:45am to go to work on some days while squeezing in time to study and all that, it's all tough, but nothing I can't handle.

yesterday, though, I fucked up bad. I shouldn't have gone to work with a fever in the first place, I'm already clumsy and forgetful. I shouldn't have had my head all wrapped up in my school application. Fucked up on so many orders, my boss screamed at me and cursed me out in front of all the customers, which is humiliating beyond belief. He yelled at me again in the back in front of the old chefs about how its the easiest job ever and yet i still cannot handle anything. I couldn't do anything right, my mindset was stuck. After we closed, his wife gave me a lecture about how she understands that I'm young and will therefore fuck up a lot, but it's still unacceptable, especially since they're a familiy business and it really cuts into their profits, and pretty much gave me a warning strike. She's right.

What bothers me the most, though, is that they seem to think I don't care about this job, or doesn't care about customer service, when in reality i'm just anxious and neurotic and not yet used to handling high-stress situations even after having worked there for more than half a year. I've embarrassed myself so much with how much/often I've fucked up, and I'm trying, but it's as if my brain freezes up whenever it gets busy and i don't remember any of the details and procedures anymore. I want to quit, but my pride won't let me, and I need the money. I want to give up, but I'm not going to, because then I'd never get better. I want to prove them wrong, but I'm not sure if I can do it. I hope I can, I hope I can.

I can't find someone good enuff/I trust enuff to critique my portfolio for me before I send it off to fart skool

those soloist x oliver peoples glasses makes me wish i needed glasses

so that it'd at least be justified

'bout to go get my vision tested again

not worth thinking about school like that mane. wherever you end up you'll make the best of it, or you won't. your "top choice" school probably isn't as good as you're making it out to be. as long as you're not socially or academically fucked you'll be fine wherever.

i dont think i'm really putting parsons on a pedastal - i'm not even going for fashion, but i'm a bit sick and tired of where I am in life right now, and they're one of the only schools I like enough that has such a late deadline (april 1st) and will therefore grant me a quick escape instead of having to wait until next quarter/year. Either way, you're completely right - I need to just work on my sheit and quit sweatin it so hard.

keep ya head up!!!!

thanks homi~ yo who needs bois anyway

i kinda want this new ipad

my dad's gonna get one... preemptive confession: i stole my dad's ipad

whenever a customer comes into the restaurant and orders a bunch of sushi by themselves

and eats alone in a booth while being glued to their ipad

i just

why don't you just bring it home

also, confession of the day -

if i don't get into parsons, i will drink my life away with a cocktail of cocaine and bleach

if i do get into parsons, i will drink my debt away with a cocktail of -- o wait, i wont be able to afford anything

I HOPE I GET IN

rip

missed a$ap when he came to philly last month

fuck everything

apple chicken curry made with love

and

mini matcha daifukus

double-rejected (sort of) this weekend. i must be super busted

came home to this in my fridge:

prospective portfolio piece:

mein stamps

super late to the game, might be repost, hopefully not

bagel w/ cream cheese and cheap wawa coffee

the best cure