Kregg

spent hella long peeling aluminum foil off burger patties I was going to make only to realize the only cheese I had left was American cheese.

fucking why

I started to preheat the skillet, got all the ingredients out for my omelette, and went to grab for the eggs only to realize that my room mate hard boiled all of them.

motherfucker

The boss called me at 6 am on my day off to tell me I got the promotion and 15% salary increase.

couldn't wait till 10am? Damn

Heard that a good way to get bj"s from chicks is to say you don't like them.

Some will take that as a challenge assuming that you've never had a good one, and some will want to marry you.

Also, "I've never came from a blowjob before". They always want to be the first.

^^I'd still hit it from the front (back)

The term 'best' is so subjective...

Sitting over the edge of a hot tub drinking grey goose on the rocks. I think I was 16. Came in her eye.

canadian

geller for cp sweatshirt, gap chinos, sk8 hi's

my buddy got pulled over for a minor speeding ticket. Had no mc license, cop wouldn't let him drive his bike back home. $175 to have it towed, and two citations, one for speeding and one for no license.

don't get pulled over.

Am I the only one who doesn't like Ghost714's lectures at all?

Kinda difficult to fuck your date on a horse (in armor, to boot).

Very easy to smash date in limo.

and rent a fucking limo

When I get a fade cut, I tell my barber to hem and taper a bit.

but were the boobies nice?

he said she was japanese...

Your Type is

ENFP

So is Mark Twain, Bill Cosby, Oprah

11

^nymphomania is a mental condition, right?

If so, me too.

If not... me too. =(

let it rip.

I'm the only person I know who'se had a wet-nightmare before.

I never thought I'd contribute to this thread, but I am visually offended.

I met a girl who's part of the fashion department and she said she can hook me up with shoes as they are lying all over the showroom, but she could only name Armani and Gucci off the top of her head. fail

ebay son

fiji/smart

^ or the mila kunis pics

Well fellas, today is the day!