blackout

got shitty drunk last weekend (fri sat & sun) at my friend's bday, she seemed real pissed/disappointed at me. Especially after she saw me makin out wit some random girl at the bar saturday night. But i had told her in the past that i needed more time to be single and i didnt want to fuck shit up gettin into a relationship all quick & she seemed cool with it plus i thought she was hookin up with one of her friends friday night but i guess she didnt. I really like her too. She didnt even talk to me saturday night and all day sunday she ignored me when we were hangin out with her n her friends at the strip club. I asked her if she was okay, and she said "yeah". She drove me a long drive to pick up my car sunday night & we really didnt say much in the car. She has not texted me since & when i text her all week its one word answers. I've felt all sad and shit for what i did all week cuz i really like this girl but my partying got the best of me.

I haven't drank since sunday nor have any desire to, i cant sleep at night and my appetite is shit, i haven't eat much all week, i've been to the gym to work out 2 to 3 times a day pullin hour &1/2 sessions everyday this week since monday just to get my mind thinkin differently. I really miss hangin out & being with her & want to talk to her bout it but i think she might be over it all. Now its friday night & im heading to the gym right now again.

i know feelin down sucks but i also know i'll pull through

and cue your conscience. She's not over it. You don't just turn things off like that (even when you want to). Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a third person in a situation to realize what you really wanted in the first place.

Give it a second. "You don't want to fuck shit up....blah blah blah" well you kind of did, now deal.

Sometimes it is worth staying, sometimes not.

Grass is greener syndrome.

Not excusing anything, but relationships are f-ing hard. No doubt.

And maybe things happen behind closed doors.

Hate = big girls who squeeze themselves into their skinnier friend's shit.

i came very close to cheating on my gf, had to sleep in my car because I was drunk/tempted. i feel proud of myself

You should be.