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Posts posted by sistersuzie

  1. it's not that you think about him all the time

    it's just that you can't ever really forget

    and the things that you see in others,

    well, seems like he signed his initials right under

    you know you wouldn't give them a single minute of your time if you weren't hopelessly wishing he'll appear wearing their name

  2. For some weird reason I have a hard time trusting girls that smoke marijuana or do drugs. 3/10 of the times they are cool and the other times they just straight up grimey I still kick it with them though.

    I kinda get this. I used to feel the same way, even though I used a bunch of diff shit. It just hit me weird when girls would smoke or whatever, mainly when I was younger. Not sure why, I have no reason for it. I think maybe it was how the girls I knew presented themselves when they smoked or were high, it just came off as unappealing. Mindset is totally different now though. Current GF smokes occasionally, but she's super cool about it. I smoke sometimes, and weed culture is still incredibly fucking annoying to me. I'm really glad she doesn't wear hemp necklaces and have a piece shaped like a dragon with a mushroom growing out of its eye or whatever. I guess she's just a lady about it, and I appreciate that (as dumb as that sounds).


    hey, cheers

  3. don't worry c., i'm a strong woman. one of our comon friend wanted to punch him thinking itd put him back in his place, but it didn't work. i guess stronger dudes threaten to broke his legs already...

    seriously i'm more sad for him than anything, you know? i know he's not in his right mind. i hope he gets out of it. for him, for my parents who gave him everything. hes falling down fast enough on his own

  4. agreed with that...

    it's sorta hard to talk about it sometimes cause you don't feel that you're helping or whatever or you think it might be lame, but it's really not the case. would you rather be responsible for an accident with a patient? cause if you know what's going on and you don't tell, you're sorta responsible about that stuff.

    until a few weeks ago i was living with my brother whom i had taken under my roof cause apparently he had problems with his roommates.

    but since the summer i had seen him going from weeed and beer to opiates. sniffing morphine on the reg. and then going to crack.. and that's when it all went down. i've seen him lose weight and do so many fucked up things. doing crack everyday being so fucked up all the time. trynna beat me up, stole my shit.

    i kept it silent for so long cause i thought i'd be able to help him stop that shit without involving too many people.. especially not my parents. but it came to the point where i was really scared for my life and his.

    even had to call the cops to my place cause he was trynna beat me up and i didn't wanna get violent with my little brother... my poor little brother.

    it was making me so sad to think about this whole situation, felt terrible for him, didn't want people to know

    one night two big black dudes tried to bust in my place in the middle of the night because of him, situation was handled but i had an anxiety attack after that.

    that's when i decided i couldn't deal with that shit anymore... i talked about it, to my parents and stuff. even had to kick him out my place. that was not even a month before xmas... he doesn't talk to me anymore, say im a slut and i have no heart. that i don't love him. but if he knew, if he could understand how much i love him. how much it broke me inside to see him destroying himself like that.

    i saw him coming home at 3am fucking all ym shit up to find money, walking outside in slippers in the middle of the winter

    i don't even care about my camera and all the money. it's just him, my little brother i love so much. i remember him playing in the sand, waving his hand at me, smiling. you know that beautiful innocent smile?

    worst holidays this year.

    but i know i made the right decision, hiding, lying, keeping secrets are no help for that person. sometimes, its sad, but they have to go down a bit to understand, and go back up...

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