AstroWolf

i have had alot of sucicial thoughts lately, whats up with that? Funny thing, always used to consider myself as a stable person, but the last years its more up and down.

 

Not really anxious though. More tired of everything, fed up with life. Hopefully its a temporary thing. 

For what it's worth, I think most people have these thoughts from time to time, somewhat hard wired in to our minds... 

My ex GF has a pretty "normal" life, mc mansion, phd hubby, kid, white picket fence... And she and her hubby still laugh about wanting to off themselves. They would never do it, they love life, seem really happy, yet these thoughts are part of their life. 

In my humble view of life, there is a lot of emotional hit's and misses in our minds, hardwired stuff which we can't control. Sometimes when you think something, best not to dwell on it and just laugh it off to a extent. 

Not to say that some people have real issues to deal with, and perhaps you are in need of help, but sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. 

Good luck. 

Egpt, you are funny.

What I said was plain and clear. You projected a lot of shit, based on your apparent lack of understanding of common language.

You are unable to say you misunderstood, sticking to a flawed point even when others have shared that you got the skit wrong.

Keep it up buddy.

Egpt, you got it all wrong. Your perception of my timeline is backwards and upside down. I am talking a time frame of over ten years here dude. 

I could sit here and try and explain it to ya, but your assumptions as to what you read make me laugh. 

Thanks to kindofyoung for seeing what I wrote for what it was and backing me up. 

ENTP

Whitney: take a page from homer and have a spare rib smoothy! 

I can't say I had a problem, but more of a habit. I started using coke, or seeing it with less destain when I was about 23 and noticed that when you are chilling with a girl and she says: "lets get some blow", you will usually end up getting laid. So to answer your question, thats how coke started to seem like a option to me, and made it's cost a bit more rational or pleasing in the long run of getting to smash. 

I have been in a slump these past couple years; since I had to close my shop in 2011. The free time and excess cash, left me a lot of time to booze and sniff and just waste time. 

Things in my life have changed for the better since the "slump" started, and have continually gotten better, as I have been working on making it better (as I also happened to keep partying way too much).

So recently, I got a new photography job which has made me feel a lot better about the work side of things. Got married about 8 months ago and feel really lucky for my woman. And have just seen more reason to not fuck around so much, as their are other things to put my energy in to than being a animal all the time.

For me it was a collision of events which lead to me to want to live sober for a while and see what good can come of it. I do not want to live in Amsterdam for much longer, and need to start making more moves to the future, instead of just living in the now. 

Sorry for the novel. 

Three weeks sober today. Not even wanting to drink or sniff... Well I am smokin tree's, but since I was not blazing when I was on some insane coke and booze trip, I figure I can still call it sobriety... Three weeks more sober than I have been in five years- I guess is a better way to say it. Last time I went this long without booze or sniff was when I posted about it here over five years ago... Good times...

Cat. A. Pult. 

Xanax is my favorite palindrome. 

If you give up, you won't get shit. You have more than enough proof to get what you what's yours back, and after all this effort to just cop out and say you are over it, makes this thread a waste of time to have read. Get your computer back bro.

Also, fuck that noise about moving, they don't know what you look like and people are not going to try a rerun of a situation, which if you continue to handle correctly or persistently, will end up in your favor. 

Last point: she took stolen property, held it, her knowledge of it is neither here or there.

Don't give up, get your shit back, and give this thread a less ponce ending please.

@xkillxallxhumansx

New Amsterdam life

Up at 5:28am, work in two hours... Can't sleep, thank god for the NFL.

Sober for a few days and my mind is bent.

Martin Robson at Hanky Panky XXX. However you spell it...

After ten years of living XXX I am fully legal to work any job I want (not just make my own), got a five year living permit (instead of one year at a time), more or less am another immigrant jerk. It feels fucking AWESOME!

I was going to post in the psycho ex gf thread, but when my mind opened up to start to write about those experiences, I kinda got lost and could not make it fun at all, so I bailed.

Love my MBAir... honestly the best computer i ever owned... but all i do is write and surf... not for those who need more horse power.

that chick has puzzled me for a while.

Hap, I am very happy for you dude.

I was writing a fucking novel of a post here, but honestly just erased it all.

Fuck it, just do what's good for you and stay alive.

One day at a time concept.

...

I think the word SOCIOPATH (a person lacking empathy) is too loaded.

When we hear it, we think of monsters and killers, people who are insane.

I think that life, and city living in general is conducive to certain levels of detachment by necessity.

I am not saying to not care, but I am a huge advocate of knowing who to care about, while also letting other people not in my tribe, fend for themselves as best they can, with what they have.

We need to redefine what the world and media have done to us, and see a lack of empathy as a horse of a different color as to its current definition.

http://glennrowe.net/baroncohen/empathyquotient/empathyquotient.aspx

I got 23.

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