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old dog new tricks


salaryman

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  • 4 months later...

Thanksgiving at Grandma’s.

Uncomfortable chairs are piled in a tiny living room—a “parlor†actually.

Glass candy dishes, dusty butterscotch, an expensive trampled old rug.

The stage is set.

Everyone sits, mostly wondering who has the best chair.

“Next year, I want an armrest.†I whisper to my left.

“I get this ottoman every year.

Just drink more wine, and in an hour, cocktails.â€

Women with gold star grown up lives become

daughters with no grandbabies,

Men with big jobs, just sons who aren’t doctors.

The room is too small for people. So they are children.

But still, at least there is wine. And perfect squares of white cheese.

And party crackers that taste like a napkin drawer.

“Isn’t this lovely?†Someone says to No One.

Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile. Goose.“Yes, it is.†No One says back.

“So. Who wants me to read them their horoscope?â€

Grandma asks the audience,

summoning a single sheet of paper from the nearest drawer.

Pretending to look away is hard in small rooms.

Pretending not to hear, even harder.

Still, no one answers.

.

.

“Ok, you can read mine, Mom,†chirps the most dutiful son, reluctantly.

“Hmm.

“No. Let’s start with Charlotte.â€

Charlotte braces on the ottoman.

She grips her glass and loudly inhales the last of her courage.

“Capricorn. The holidays may be a trying time for you this year. After all, being alone is never easy, especially considering your recent financial troubles. Take solace in the fact that there are people who love you and romance can always wait.â€

Words like icicles, formed easily, naturally. Razor sharp.

Charlotte looks at her empty glass longingly.

“How about you, Vivian, shall I read yours?â€

“NO. Thank you. Mother. That won’t be necessary.â€

“Scorpio. Be careful choosing your words this holiday season, you may say something you regret, as you have in the past. Although you may have missed an opportunity to reconcile with a powerful old flame, this is probably for the best considering your baggage and his history. Try and enjoy your time with family.â€

Someone reaches for a cracker, and Charlotte, the wine.

“Did you write these yourself?†I ask Grandma.

“Don’t be ridiculous,

Of course I did.â€

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