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Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

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then ignore.

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Just say hey, what you doing. Don't push, but don't act like you don't give a fuck either. I'm drunk tho, so what do I know?

I wouldn't even respond. It's a waste of time.

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is it wrong to be wanting to fuck a girl who's in a relationship?

i have known this girl for a while and we would flirt and hang out but i never made a move and around NYE she met a du and she has been in a relationship with him since, i know him but he's not a close friend or anything so i'm thinking of not giving a fuck and try to get into her pants (and possibly fail)

somone slap some sense into me

I'm in this situation too but the difference is that I don't wanna just get in her pants I wanna actually be in a relationship with this chick as corny as that sounds, shes in a long distance relationship and we had this "last hangout" type thing before her bf comes back ( she told me her bf treats her like some doll and she can't even talk to other guys and shit but yet hes allowed flirt with other girls) She came over and watched a movie and we both fell asleep on my bed semi cuddling and after I drove her home and she said she doesn't know the next time well see each other and I told her if she needed anything that I'm here. We never really talked about how much we see each other and I never told her how much I like her but idk its just we both know deep down we like being together... always happens to me, the girls I would actually persue have bf's and it's not even on that "I want something I can't have" type shit. I genuinely like this girl and it suxxxxx. the next time I see her and her bf is there fuuuuuuuuckjjyfghhdfh I hate this cuz I can't do anything

Edited by sleepyheadmonster

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I think I'm finally realizing that even though I'm telling myself she has some hold over me, that it's not her at all...and it's my own self-doubt and inner demons that I'm actually fighting. There was a lot of great with her, but I made it great, and I am 100% sure of that. All the good things we had or did were what I constructed for us, and she was just there to participate in them with me, and yea...a lot of the time she was amazing, and a great partner to have in those situations. I'm trying really hard to assign the right feelings and not get shit twisted, I'll tell myself a million times that I can't have again what I had with her, but I made all that happen, all that happiness. I've done it before, I can do it again.

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I'm in this situation too but the difference is that I don't wanna just get in her pants I wanna actually be in a relationship with this chick as corny as that sounds, shes in a long distance relationship and we had this "last hangout" type thing before her bf comes back ( she told me her bf treats her like some doll and she can't even talk to other guys and shit but yet hes allowed flirt with other girls) She came over and watched a movie and we both fell asleep on my bed semi cuddling and after I drove her home and she said she doesn't know the next time well see each other and I told her if she needed anything that I'm here. We never really talked about how much we see each other and I never told her how much I like her but idk its just we both know deep down we like being together... always happens to me, the girls I would actually persue have bf's and it's not even on that "I want something I can't have" type shit. I genuinely like this girl and it suxxxxx. the next time I see her and her bf is there fuuuuuuuuckjjyfghhdfh I hate this cuz I can't do anything

You're fucked bro. Friendship tip all the way

Edited by jayrock

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I think I'm finally realizing that even though I'm telling myself she has some hold over me, that it's not her at all...and it's my own self-doubt and inner demons that I'm actually fighting. There was a lot of great with her, but I made it great, and I am 100% sure of that. All the good things we had or did were what I constructed for us, and she was just there to participate in them with me, and yea...a lot of the time she was amazing, and a great partner to have in those situations. I'm trying really hard to assign the right feelings and not get shit twisted, I'll tell myself a million times that I can't have again what I had with her, but I made all that happen, all that happiness. I've done it before, I can do it again.

Don't want to get all spiritual/religious but the concept is called planting seeds. Everything is coming from you because of the seeds that you have planted in the past. So yup, you can pretty much create your own happiness and create that perfect girl that you want to meet!

Edited by mellowfellow

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Lesson of the day: Why you should never burn bridges.

Ok, chumps class is in session and last night I had the interesting fortune to get a random message via Facebook from this beezy I'd tried to get with back in the day. Pretty hot chick from Nagoya but studied abroad and is fluent in English and Chinese, now working for a top accounting firm doing Japanese/Chinese business consulting.

Last time I saw this chick was back in May of last year and she and I both had recently gotten out of previous long-term relationships. She was in the transition phase and was dating multiple dudes, making it clear she was close to entering another serious relationship. At the time I was like "Sure, whatever. Nothing ventured, nothing gained" so I met up with her for dinner.

My impression of her had always been somewhat favorable until she dropped the bomb that she was seriously seeing a mutual acquaintance of mine who by all accounts is a total loser/your typical foreign nerdy white guy who couldn't get laid in his home country so comes to Jap-land and plays the "token foreigner" card to bang Jap-chicks. Add to the fact that he was a recruiter, which is only slightly higher on the low-life career totem pole above English teacher, my impression of this dude was poor. In fact, so poor, I lost all attraction and interest in this girl as I could not for the life of me understand how such a hot girl would waste her time with such a loser.

So after an hour or so of chit-chat I bid her fairwell and never contacted her since. Mind you, we were still friends on Facebook and I would occasionally see pics of her and her BF on trips to Bali, Okinawai and how lovely-dovely their relationship was, blah, blah. You know typical stuff women do on Facebook that you need to filter out as a male.

So I hadn't paid much attention to this beezy until I got a totally out of the blue random message last night from her asking me if I would be able to attend her b-day party next month upon which my spider senses were going: Well this is weird, why would this girl go out of the way to privately message me about a bday party more than a month away. I haven't talked to her in ages. So sure enough I checked her Facebook profile and all the lovely-dovely pics/updates were gone. I checked the dude's profile as well and again all the pics/updates of her are gone. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what's up. She probably sent the same message to multiple dudes as well.

I reply back to her saying that I will be back in LA (which is true) asking if she would like to celebrate beforehand or afterwards upon which I get the following reply:

"Travelling to LA sounds awesome!! Business trip? Yeah we should catch up soon, it's been so long! Let me know when you have time, we can go for dinner, lunch, drinks ;-)"

So there you go folks.

Never burn bridges cuz you never know if a beezy will hit you up in the future.

Edited by djrajio

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what about burning bridges with mediocre girls? or those ''what the fuck was i thinking'' type beezies?

Same rule applies. They might have hot friends.

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bridge wasn't even on fire in that story to begin wit

That's the idea mate. My younger self would probably have been insulted from an ego perspective and done some stupid stuff.

Edited by djrajio

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I guess nowadays, deleting someone off of facebook would be 'burning a bridge'.

I'm assuming that's the only thing he could've done..

^^boy, hit them with a fucking shovel and never look back. Mediocre girls are just worthless.

edit: LOL @ HOT FRIENDS. Interesting fact..

Edited by Lozinski

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I guess nowadays, deleting someone off of facebook would be 'burning a bridge'.

Agree on this too. Good point.

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Posted · Hidden by broneck, April 24, 2012 - No reason given
Hidden by broneck, April 24, 2012 - No reason given

i like burning bridges. then if you get together years later it's more awesome and forbidden feeling.

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I need to cop me a milf/cougar.

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Same rule applies. They might have hot friends.

Which will lead to more unnecessary confrontations. fuck that.

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isn't it contradictory to tell chumps to ignore and cut contact with girls and to not to burn bridges at the same time?

No.

Ignoring is a self-displine to prevent you from doing something that will hurt your chances w/ women.

Burning bridges is a way of acting that keeps you in good terms w/ women.

If a girls is geniunly interested in you and is reaching out to you to meet are you going to ignore/cut-contact? Of course not!

But if a girl has an EGO to stroke or is giving you MIXED SIGNALS ignoring and acting DISINTERESTED IN THE OUTCOME of the situation isn't going to burn bridges with a women that isn't emotionally invested in you.

I think the problem w/ a lot of you chumps is there isn't any hard/fast rules and only experience will give you the confidence to know when to do something or not and to what degree.

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Will report back.

Long overdue but wanted things to settle before talking about it all. I broke off the relationship that wasn't working and suffered for it. She didn't see it coming, didn't know I wasn't happy and still wanted to keep trying to fix what I knew was broken. She would have done anything to get back together again but has now accepted my decision. I still have to see her all the time cos we're in class together and share friends (it gets complicated.)

I met up with the girl for coffee and we still had that spark. We've had a bunch of dates and have been having fun together. Its really great to be around someone like that when its all smiles and fun, I feel like I haven't had that for a while. She asked me what I wanted and what we were, she wants a relationship with me. I told her I want a relationship with her, I wasn't seeing anybody else but I didn't think I was at the same place she was yet. She was fine with that and is waiting until I'm on the same lines as her. I like her a lot, but I'm just trying to get adjusted to this.

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.

I think the problem w/ a lot of you chumps is there isn't any hard/fast rules and only experience will give you the confidence to know when to do something or not and to what degree.

Lol, post pics of your busted chicks, then reconsider calling all of us 'chumps'.

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Lol, post pics of your busted chicks, then reconsider calling all of us 'chumps'.

this thread fell off with all the misinformation in it

i will only get dating advice from dovo and the chumps over at superconfessional from now on

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Good luck.

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Lol, post pics of your busted chicks, then reconsider calling all of us 'chumps'.

Again I have nothing to prove. But thanks for the call out.

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considering contacting the kid that got in the middle and telling him (nicely) to back off while her and I sort our shit out.

I'm also super drunk so lemme know if this is a terrible idea. I kinda want to scare the shit outta him a bit, C'mon, you know that's not such a bad thing...

Edited by OkayOkay

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^ man up and speak to the dude face to face

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I don't think sending that is a good idea.

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I think he's like 16 or something, maybe 18 at the most, and I thought face to face would scare the shit outta him (which is maybe the point), just a little too much. I'm gonna end it either way, I think I just wanted him to hear from me in some way directly first.

Edited by OkayOkay

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