Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[fobsquad]

just called her; seems like things are still in place. so i'll defo be trying to court her hardcore during the next few months.

and Clopek, sorry for not posting in your thread it was a few pages further....but i will be eating her aplenty once i break her hymen, wifey concept. now its the weed and shiraz talking too much. thanks novspur

[t3hcoke]

^He's in no position to eat her out.

Visualize what kind of relationship you want with her and make a plan. Good luck!

[Phyziks]

Jesus Christ.

At the beginning of the week, my girlfriend tells me we can't hang out Friday because she is going to her friend's engagement party. I say "Okay, no prob, I'm sure I can find something to do that night." I make plans to hang out with a bunch of friends, and I offer to drive, so I clearly have an obligation to them.

Yesterday (Friday) evening, my GF tells me last minute that her plans were moved to Saturday night instead. She wants to hang out with me now, even though she knows I have plans. She tells me to ditch my friends and shit, and when I told her no, she gets all pissed and doesn't talk to me.

To put it in perspective, I tell her "Okay, I'll ditch my friends tonight to hang out with you, if you ditch your friends tomorrow night to hang out with me." And if she was actually willing to, I would do it, but she obviously refuses and tells me I'm being a jerk.

I don't understand why she expects me to drop all of my plans just because her plans fell through, because I know she wouldn't do it for me; case and point, she's out with her friends tonight. I would also never ask her to break obligations with her friends and ditch them to spend time with me.

She sends me salty texts etc., and is clearly pissed. What to do internetz?

[munkyballz]

go out drink with your friends. have a good time.

relationships are a two-way street. quid pro quo.

[Phyziks]

Of course I did. My homies are over now watching the Strokes on SNL and drinking and shit. I went out last night too.

[DaBestSpoona]

Tell her to stop being so damn selfish because she's easily replaceable.

[MharcI]

Girls car died completely, and she works till late a bit away from her house.

I cant go and pick her up for certain reasons, so here and there shes asked her ex boyfriend to pick her up and drop her off. He's still somewhat interested in her, and she says she has no feelings for him, in a way she is kind of using him I suppose.

I say it doesnt bother me, because to be honest I really know it shouldnt, and I know that she loves me blah blah... and I really dont want to come off as the jealous boyfriend type, but I cant help but admit that sometimes it does bother me, especially since sometimes he'll smoke her up and they'll just drive around listening to music "talking."

I dont fucking know, probably being more paranoid than I should be, and I dont think anything good will come out of it if I bring it up. She has said that if it bothers me, she wont do it, but the last thing I want is for her to be taking public transport so late etc, and for her to think i've got a problem with her hanging out with her ex.

Shes completely fine with me hanging out with exes/other girls as well. I suppose she just feels very secure in our relationship, but I never really liked that shit.

Dilemma. Advices?

[broneck]

Jesus Christ.

At the beginning of the week, my girlfriend tells me we can't hang out Friday because she is going to her friend's engagement party. I say "Okay, no prob, I'm sure I can find something to do that night." I make plans to hang out with a bunch of friends, and I offer to drive, so I clearly have an obligation to them.

Yesterday (Friday) evening, my GF tells me last minute that her plans were moved to Saturday night instead. She wants to hang out with me now, even though she knows I have plans. She tells me to ditch my friends and shit, and when I told her no, she gets all pissed and doesn't talk to me.

To put it in perspective, I tell her "Okay, I'll ditch my friends tonight to hang out with you, if you ditch your friends tomorrow night to hang out with me." And if she was actually willing to, I would do it, but she obviously refuses and tells me I'm being a jerk.

I don't understand why she expects me to drop all of my plans just because her plans fell through, because I know she wouldn't do it for me; case and point, she's out with her friends tonight. I would also never ask her to break obligations with her friends and ditch them to spend time with me.

She sends me salty texts etc., and is clearly pissed. What to do internetz?

i've been down this road, and it leads to fucking crazy. dump this girl, for real.

[Phyziks]

All is well now. We talked today and she apologized for being selfish, and that's all I really wanted to hear. She then cooked me an amazing salmon dinner and we had a good night.

[ohsnap]

^ i hope you smashed all angry like 1000 muslim dudes after finding out they ate pork

[MharcI]

djrajio really need to come back, this thread is dead

[fobsquad]

I say it doesnt bother me, because to be honest I really know it shouldnt, and I know that she loves me blah blah... and I really dont want to come off as the jealous boyfriend type, but I cant help but admit that sometimes it does bother me, especially since sometimes he'll smoke her up and they'll just drive around listening to music "talking."

I dont fucking know, probably being more paranoid than I should be, and I dont think anything good will come out of it if I bring it up. She has said that if it bothers me, she wont do it, but the last thing I want is for her to be taking public transport so late etc, and for her to think i've got a problem with her hanging out with her ex.

Shes completely fine with me hanging out with exes/other girls as well. I suppose she just feels very secure in our relationship, but I never really liked that shit.

No way she is completely fine with you hanging out with exes/other girls. and you probably feel more paranoid about it because you don't do it as often as she seems to be, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. You should know your own relationship, but I believe if she's coming home to you, it doesn't really matter who she was with/what she was doing. The same goes for you to her.

Try this out: Next time you take her to a bar, let her mingle and flirt with other guys. Make a deal that everytime a guy buys her a drink, she must come back to you afterwards. She gets drunk for free and you might get some pointers on what not to do at a bar when you're not with her.

[american_hearts]

she feels secure because you have no game.

[t3hcoke]

djrajio really need to come back, this thread is dead

unban djrajio! (0).

[haploid]

and I really dont want to come off as the jealous boyfriend type

You're a sociopath. "Jealous boyfriend type" is an understatement.

When will someone email his girl a link to this thread? O wait, she won't get it since you keep tabs on that too.

[broneck]

Addressing Mharcl:

I'm not entirely sure I agree with the crowd that says the whole "hanging out and just talking with my ex" is something you should just be totally conformable with.

I mean, I don't know the entire situation - sometimes people have really great friends, and they end up dating those really great friends for some brief and ill advised period of time and it doesn't work. Very often these people continue their friendships because the "relationship" never progressed to the point where it would be weird to continue being great friends.

But in some cases, two people fall crazy head over heels in love with each other, and love and sleep with and wake up beside and fuck each other for years. And then when they finally break up they stay decide to stay friends. When this happens, it is largely because there is still an emotional connection there, or a physical one, or something that wasn't strong enough to overcome the bad, but was good enough to still want hanging around. Regardless of the reasons, there's a 99% chance its lurking there under the surface somewhere.

Many people will tell me I'm being narrowminded, or that just because this is they way I see it it doesn't mean that's the way it is. I would suggest that these people are in denial. No one who is hanging out with a serious ex on a one-on-one basis is doing so because they're such great buds.

So - maybe you should be jealous?

Edit - haploid you're like fucking 14 shut the fuck up

[Phyziks]

Dude, I'm sure she has a female friend that could drive her. Not wanting her to be alone in a car smoking weed with her ex is not being jealous or anything, that's downright reasonable. I'm sure she says she doesn't mind you hanging out with ex's, but that's bullshit. She's a girl, she's a human, she fucking cares. My guess is, she doesn't actually see it happening so it isn't an issue for her.

[american_hearts]

on the other hand, if she doesn't get that on her own without you telling her, she's a moron.

also, the reason she doesn't get it on her own is because she doesn't feel jealous about you like that. and that's because she's not as emotionally invested in you as you are in her.

so. there you go.

[MharcI]

she feels secure because you have no game.

What is this supposed to mean?

And I have hung out with girls/exes before, and to be honest she didnt put up much of a fuss about. Just some slight sarcastic ribbing, which was bordering on a cover for not liking it.

I dunno. Ill see how it goes.

I think ill begin to worry when she disregards me to hang out with him/other guys, as Clopek (i believe) said, at the end of the night if she comes home to me, alright.

[MharcI]

on the other hand, if she doesn't get that on her own without you telling her, she's a moron.

also, the reason she doesn't get it on her own is because she doesn't feel jealous about you like that. and that's because she's not as emotionally invested in you as you are in her.

so. there you go.

She does get it on her own, and said she will stop doing it, because even though I havent openly said anything, she thinks it bothers me.

Thats the thing, I made her believe its ok, because I dont want to come off as crazy jealous blah blah. I think you really are overthinking it.

[american_hearts]

do you come in here for real talk or not? also, that's not at all what clopek said. don't pick and choose the advice you listen to based on your own insecurities and neuroses.

[MharcI]

I do come in here with real talk.

All the advice you give out in this thread is good, but it always seemed to be tinged with bitternes, which I think affects it.

I trust my girl, and im secure in how she feels about me, I know this guy doesnt mean shit to her. On a natural level, of course it will slightly bother anyone, but is it really a cause to bring it up like that, and appear insecure and jealous? I think not.

[broneck]

Why did you ask for advice at all then? You've made up your mind already so why bothere piping up?

And it's not tinged with bitterness it's tinged with experience and first hand knowledge... not just from being burned but by doing some burning myself. You trust your girlfriend, great. Doesn't make the situation appropriate.

I shouldn't have plus repped...you're kinda being a bitchass.

[MharcI]

I just like to see others opinions.

I think saying the situation isnt appropriate is the perfect way of describing it actually.

Ok, now the problem lies in bringing it up to her, and not seeming like a bitchass. I think that is a bit more difficult.

[arem]

I don't reply to Mharci's questions on purpose, he doesn't actually seem want to hear advice, he just wants confirmation of his own thoughts.

[broneck]

Yeah it's really not a difficult conversation to have if you don't whine and approach it in an adult manner. You don't talk about your concerns or your jealousy, you just put it matter of fact: I'm not really ok with it and if were going to have any kindof serious relationship we should both stop seeing people whose intentions may be more than just friendly because it's kindof childish and immature. If she respects you (and you act respectable about it) it shouldn't be a problem.

[eggshell]

I think we are onto something really brilliant here guys. For the past several decades, the standard structure of an advice column such as 'Dear Abby' has been a single 'expert' giving advice to the usually socially inept people who write in on a daily basis.

Now, over half a century after the inception of Dear Abby, we here at superfuture have found a new way for advice columns; hopefully, the way of the future.

Here, we have a single idiotic advice seeker, who seeks the same advice (why am I a bitchass?) every single week, with various people giving advice. Now the genius of this system is that he doesn't take the advice, so we have a potentially endless content stream!

Once I have the go-ahead from you guys I can start the syndication process and pitch the idea to some major newspapers.

[_ironman]

so after reading Mharcl's posts again, i can't really understand what advice is he looking/hoping for? he seeminly goes between feeling he never liked that shit, to it's no big thing, back to it bothering him but he doesn't want to bring it up

lol that he complains that djrajio needs to come back. what, everyone else's opinion isn't enough? even if djrajio brought something new, you still wouldn't really listen

[american_hearts]

it's not bitterness, you pansy. I gave more thoughtfully-constructed advice in the beginning -- like clopek said, speaking from my own experience from both ends of a relationship.

long-winded musings on the complex nature of relationships are clearly no help to you. there are always simple answers. to go beyond that is simply your way of avoiding those answers.

[into the rain]

mharcl: guys why am i such a bitchass?

people: [insert thoughtful advice]

mharcl: i understand that but im still a bitchass. why?

people: [insert post about why hes a bitchass]

mharcl: hm well that sounds right but why am i a bitchass?

wtf does he want?