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Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column


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ditto and re: the advice everybody has been saying for dachink.

been in a somewhat similar situation.

if there are still any feelings at all, it can only head towards heartache. unless you want to turn your life into a typical asian drama, then get the fuck out now or settle for some definite resolution before continuing (haha...and like that's going to happen).

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Another fucking retarded situation I'm facing.

There's one J-beezy I'm interested.

We went out on a lunch date. Lunch --> sangria + cake.

It was a success (I hope).

I scheduled a dinner date with her for this Friday (decided two days ago).

She fucking tells me that she wants to bring a friend to the dinner.

I usually just say something like.

友達連れてくるの? 友達とか連れてくる前にもっと「Name]ちゃんと二人で遊びたかったなぁ。 ほら、今度俺も友達を呼ぶからみんなどっか[insert something]

(your bringing your friend? I was thinking we should get to know eachother a little better before you bring a friend. how about this, next time I'll invite my friend and all of us can....[insert something]

I

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Herpsky, in my humble opinion, you should had played it cool and do this 2 on 1 date. Girls like a guy that other girls like. She is just testing and try to get her friend's opinion. If you could impress and win her friend and shine, she will definitely be attracted to you even more. In my experience, by stating that you would rather go alone with her (yes even in no fucking creepy way), you have basically passed the ball on her court

But in your current case, i'd agree with superhero. BE THE ALPHA MALE, be the one socially stand out in the four (but in a good way and don't be a jerk).

She was DETERMINED to bring her friend even before she asked me.

To me, it seems like a total dick move.

I ended up canceling the initial reservation. Had my buddy reserve a cafe / bar for a party of four. So I turned this shit into 2 vs 2.

FUCKING JAPANESE GIRLS

This beezy won't spread her legs easily. That's one thing I'm sure about.

FUCK

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I usually just say something like.

友達連れてくるの? 友達とか連れてくる前にもっと「Name]ちゃんと二人で遊びたかったなぁ。 ほら、今度俺も友達を呼ぶからみんなどっか[insert something]

(your bringing your friend? I was thinking we should get to know eachother a little better before you bring a friend. how about this, next time I'll invite my friend and all of us can....[insert something]

I

Thanks brah

She was like "もう誘っちゃったんだ。聞かないでゴメンね(はぁと)。"

I just gotta play it cool instead of being an asshole. I'm kinda pissed that she pulled this dick move but I gotta do her before I leave the Japland.

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I can never get this right, what do you do when you go to call a girl and she doesn't pick up?, like she may be busy or something but i never wanna be that "multiple missed calls" guy. Even a follw up text seems bad, i guess leaving a message is the best bet?

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Best friend/ex girlfriend has been back in town after attending a year of college on the other side of the country. We're smashing and the sex is as good as it was when we first got together, the intimacy/conversation is as good as it was when we were best friends.

I'm fucking smitten and I'm sure she's not in love with me halfway/quarterway/negligible-way as much... I'm the one always having to call her to hang out and shit. This is going to end so badly for me when the end of summer comes.

I'm a fucking masochist. I fucking hate this. I fucking love it. :cool:

I can never get this right, what do you do when you go to call a girl and she doesn't pick up?, like she may be busy or something but i never wanna be that "multiple missed calls" guy. Even a follw up text seems bad, i guess leaving a message is the best bet?

If she digs you, then she'll return the call. If not, you could try it again after some time has elapsed- no dice? Find another one.

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I can never get this right, what do you do when you go to call a girl and she doesn't pick up?, like she may be busy or something but i never wanna be that "multiple missed calls" guy. Even a follw up text seems bad, i guess leaving a message is the best bet?

i hate leaving voice mails, but i find text messages bit impersonal if you're going to ask for a date.

usually i'll call once. no pick up, no msg. let's assume she doesn't call back from a missed call, wait a few days and try again.

if no pick up again, then leave a real brief msg like "sup...this is xxx, hit me back up, insert #". remember, don't be vince vaughn ala swingers.

assuming you're not calling at obscene hours, usually the beezy will respond after the 2nd call, but if not then she's not worth it and so move on.

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Best friend/ex girlfriend has been back in town after attending a year of college on the other side of the country. We're smashing and the sex is as good as it was when we first got together, the intimacy/conversation is as good as it was when we were best friends.

I'm fucking smitten and I'm sure she's not in love with me halfway/quarterway/negligible-way as much... I'm the one always having to call her to hang out and shit. This is going to end so badly for me when the end of summer comes.

yeah, sorry to say that shit is going to hit like a mutha when the nostalgic fling ends. try to separate and numb your emotions i suppose and then just enjoy the ride. best thing is prob to not even do all that intimacy/hang out shit and just fuck. quick and simple.

other option is to actually try to morph and nurse it from fling back to an actual relationship, but seems she's not headed towards that vibe.

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beenfucking around with this girl from work for the past month. We even made it official, that lasted a week. (She dumped my ass and then begged me to stay over, and also said she doesn't want me seeing other people...lol) Yet that was a week ago and I just finished spending the past 72 hours with her. She slips up and calls me her boyfriend half the time and gets pissed when I'm talking to other girls. All at the same time she says our official status is 'just friends.' I have a plan of attack here but honestly, what the fuck.

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I've been told that when you first hang out with a girl and you give a her a hug, it indicates that you wanna be friends. Is this true? I never really gave it much thought about that.

varies with culture/region

edit:

to clarify - i went out to one of my friend's houses to hang out and after meeting a bunch of new people it seemed like normal etiquette to hug when everyone is saying goodbye for the night. granted, some of these people were hippies but you get the idea.

i played ping pong behind this tiki bar in florida, after playing a round with this woman i went to shake her hand and say good game but then she says, "we hug here in key west!" and threw her arms around me. later that night i saw that she loved to stir up drama so what she said probably wasn't true.

there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to this shit, you have to keep your eyes and ears open

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beenfucking around with this girl from work for the past month. We even made it official, that lasted a week. (She dumped my ass and then begged me to stay over, and also said she doesn't want me seeing other people...lol) Yet that was a week ago and I just finished spending the past 72 hours with her. She slips up and calls me her boyfriend half the time and gets pissed when I'm talking to other girls. All at the same time she says our official status is 'just friends.' I have a plan of attack here but honestly, what the fuck.

with a girl like that its probably best not to expect too much and enjoy the ride. if the sex is great keep hitting it but don't be suprised if she has some serious issues (daddy problems? fear of abondonment etc)

if you the type to catch feelings (sucker for love word to cam) just know yourself and be prepared for weirdness

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I've been told that when you first hang out with a girl and you give a her a hug, it indicates that you wanna be friends. Is this true? I never really gave it much thought about that.

i wouldnt worry about that if you gonna analyze that then you're setting yourself up to over analyze lots of other tings

that being said i dont really go for hugs with girls i just met

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i saw my ex walking around the city today for the first time since she left me (4 months ago), but she didn't see me. i basically had a panic attack and have never had anything like that happen to me before...kinda shook me up. always freaking out like a 16yr old concept.

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^ shit. what if she hugs me? than all she wants to is become.......friends?? i did get a hug when we first met and a hug at the end. she must be a friendly person.

are we suppose to ask them girls on a second date? or are they suppose to ask us? i just dont know if she's interested. confuses the fuck out of me as im not good at this shit.

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beenfucking around with this girl from work for the past month. We even made it official, that lasted a week. (She dumped my ass and then begged me to stay over, and also said she doesn't want me seeing other people...lol) Yet that was a week ago and I just finished spending the past 72 hours with her. She slips up and calls me her boyfriend half the time and gets pissed when I'm talking to other girls. All at the same time she says our official status is 'just friends.' I have a plan of attack here but honestly, what the fuck.

It's painfully obvious what she's trying to do here. She likes you, that much is clear, but she's either stringing you along until someone better comes along or she is more interested in someone else that might already be taken/not interested in her at present. She doesn't want to commit to officially being in an relationship with you so that, when she has to bail, it'll be easy to break it off with you and not feel guilty about it. (Always a cake and eat it concept) My advice: Do what you've been doing but don't let her get between you and other potential beezys. If she gets mad, it's too fucking bad for her. Because, in her own words, you two are "just friends"

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What is the limit for changing habits and personality for a girl? I won't change and never ask for or expect change. I mean, come on, quitting stoges is just too much to ask for. She might as well have my dick cut and pickled. And girl, don't get all mad and shit if I lie about quitting and I get caught up. Do not even consider pulling me with that crying bullshit. Fuck that. It aint gonna work cause its MOB bitch the mother fucking MOB M O B.

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What is the limit for changing habits and personality for a girl? I won't change and never ask for or expect change. I mean, come on, quitting stoges is just too much to ask for. She might as well have my dick cut and pickled. And girl, don't get all mad and shit if I lie about quitting and I get caught up. Do not even consider pulling me with that crying bullshit. Fuck that. It aint gonna work cause its MOB bitch the mother fucking MOB M O B.

The real question is, why are you trying to make this girl change at all? That's like going to subway and getting the teriyaki chicken but with steak and provolone instead, and substituting mayo for the sauce. Just get a cheesesteak instead, you know what I'm sayin?

secondly, if cigarettes are more important to you than your girl, then you need to reevaluate your priorities. Do you really like being a slave to something like cigarettes? Maybe her advice(stop smoking) is actually good advice - not because of some healthy shit, because hell if you're gonna kill yourself at least have fun doing it right, but because you are now lying about smoking and having to act like someone you are not.

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The real question is, why are you trying to make this girl change at all? That's like going to subway and getting the teriyaki chicken but with steak and provolone instead, and substituting mayo for the sauce. Just get a cheesesteak instead, you know what I'm sayin?

LOL this

made my day

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I stated that I do not expect change from a girl in the second sentence which i hoped would make the question proposed in the first sentence more clear. The answer you have given has no value because i used convoluted grammer and you misunderstood me slightly.

Cigarettes and lying are irrelevant to the question. It was irrelevant to the relationship in question as well because the relationship was scheduled to die on an exact date anyways.

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I stated that I do not expect change from a girl in the second sentence which i hoped would make the question proposed in the first sentence more clear..

Yeah I just figured out you mean YOU changing. Dude, if the relationship is ending an exact date then why do you even care, honestly? It seems like a waste of time on your part, especially since you clearly fucking love smoking.

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You are right. That is why i didn't care and it was appropriate for that situation. I was asking what the limit on change was because I wanted to know what to do in a different situation.

You are also right about my fucking love for smoking.

Being right doesn't help me at all though and help is the only thing i asked for.

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You are right. That is why i didn't care and it was appropriate for that situation. I was asking what the limit on change was because I wanted to know what to do in a different situation.

You are also right about my fucking love for smoking.

Being right doesn't help me at all though and help is the only thing i asked for.

Ah. Okay, I get it now. In all honesty it depends on the situation. Any change you are going to make is going to be made at the same time as the girl is changing too - we don't date static figures basically. If it feels like you should change for the girl then you should. If it feels like you shouldn't and it doesn't sit right with you, then you shouldn't.

Ultimately it comes down to what compromises you are willing to make, and why. If you have to change something because you feel trapped into doing it, then don't do it. If you want to change and just need a reason to do so, then strongly consider it. It's not the "what" aspect that's fucking you up, it's the "why", and there's no real concrete answer for that.(This is what Lak just said but longer).

Good luck dude.

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