Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[RandR]

I don't get how...

dude, again, just walk up to her and ask her out to coffee. Say something like, "hi I've seen you in some of my classes. My name is ___, and I'd love to have some coffee with you, if you're free".

It's not that hard man. You gotta have stones, but the thing is that beautiful women are attracted to confidence more than anything else, so it works out. They know that dudes aren't going to approach unless they have something to back it up internally. If you don't and you can't muster up the courage then stop playing man because it's not going to happen.

90 percent of the dating issues in this thread are just "yo I'm not confident how can I become confident". The short answer is, it's hard, and the long answer is, you have to really be happy with who you are first, then you can hit on errybody. I mean, if even YOU don't think you have a shot, why would the girl you are interested in think you do?

Mharci, let her go and walk away, man. I'm all for you grieving over the end of a relative era, but this isn't your livejournal, man. There's like 4 pages of your documenting the death of this relationship and the only person who doesn't seem to be getting it, willfully, is you. Let it go, focus on yourself, and you'll be fine. You know this. Stop looking for sympathy instead of advice because you already have it from us man, believe me you do, and you don't need any more advice. Godspeed and good luck.

[TransparentCranium]

Opinions all?

just fuck somebody else. You'll feel much better.

[Dropt]

...

Some wise man here. + rep.

[Guest on-display]

F2d the problem is that your looking for some sure-fire guarantee that the girl will give you a chance. Your intimidated by her and have been for two years, thinking about probable scenario's and what if's. Since you've known her for such a long time and haven't said a word it's become increasingly difficult because of the time spent dwelling on the situation.

When I see an attractive girl I try to instantly strike a conversation, because I know that the more time spent analyzing the situation, the less likely the situation will occur. The more time you spend thinking, the less confident you'll be. Objectify her into a 6 or 7 girl that you say you been dating/fucking. Find and use that type of confidence on her. There are no tricks or easy solutions.

[FADEtoDARKNESS]

Hm this is all fucking sound advice, exactly what I wanted.

Alright guys, when the semester starts, I'll put the wheels in motion.

Thanks everyone!

[ninetynine]

...

Niether of you should have questions anymore.

(+ rep)

[MharcI]

She came back

[FADEtoDARKNESS]

She came back

Congrats dude

[Akura]

I met this girl at the club and we talked for hours and eventually I started kissing her outside of the club. Then this guy comes up and pulls her away and says I got us a cab. She hops in the cab and leaves with him. I am wondering what you guys think this person's relationship is with her because she seemed really interested in me but at the last second she leaves with some other dude?

[Scais]

lol cocked blocked. probbly by her friend.

[tyang]

lol cocked blocked. probbly by her friend.

probably by a friend. that's in love with her. whose heartbroken that he saw her kissing you. just sayin

[kyo]

Been seeing this girl for the last 5 months and things are good. She sent me a text, "Just went to a movie with so and so (ex-bf of 4 years who she broke up with for me) because hes been bugging me for weeks. I hope you don't mind." Im not sure how to go about with this situation. Im pissed but i don't want to be that guy. Should i just let this one go?

[HBlack]

react to it as you would if she had gone to a movie with an old friend who kept bugging her, that is, very little reaction at all. asking how it went and all that is fine, but don't show any jealousy.

whenever i go back to visit my parents i always hang out with my ex girlfriend, because we're still friends. my girlfriend's always cool with it, doesn't really ask, which is good, because unwarranted jealousy would just be a needless problem.

[Cryhavoc]

Are you 17? Serious question.

HBlack is right, it's hardly a point of concern - I wouldn't even expect somebody to bring it up with the "hope you don't mind" qualifier. Unless of course she feels guilty about it because they fucked.

It comes down to if you trust her or not. If not, break up now and save yourself a shitty relationship. If you do, it's not a problem.

[superhero]

so when i manage to get a girls number, and i send her a text message a couple of days after just being friendly... and she doesn't reply. what the hell did i do wrong?

[yannickl]

stop worrying about it and don't contact her for 2 weeks or something.

get other beezies instead. if you still think you want to get together with girl who didn't respond, call her again to ask her out. if she doesn't pick up or rejects you, move on. (call > text in my opinion. always.)

[Guest on-display]

I wouldn't take it too seriously. If she doesn't text, then she doesn't text. In case she has an excuse make sure you don't keep texting her or call her like a creep.

[superhero]

usually i just give em a text and sometimes they respond and sometimes they don't. I usually just forget about it - I guess my real question is, should i give them one more call or is it better left forgotten.

[lak]

^see the movie Swingers for an illustrative example of on-display's point on how not to handle this situation.

[superhero]

^ lol have not seen. but will watch tonight as i heard it is hilarious.

[Guest on-display]

haha don't disregard her, sorry my words didn't suggest the idea i was implying.

i meant definitely pursue her, show her your interested because that shows confidence . don't stop calling her because she isn't responding. Its the man's job to call the woman. do something! she might be waiting for you to call her back. but don't come off as desperate , play it cool. when you do get in contact with her use the fact that she didn't call you back to your advantage and tease her. If you never get in touch, move on.

Anyway I met two girls who are best friends two weeks ago. Went out separately with each of them and found out both of them are into me. How do I get the prettier one without causing the less prettier one drama?

[superhero]

^ i understand your point and totally agree - the fine balance between keen and desperate.

in regards to your question - i always think its best to play it cool. like real cool, in the sense that you're being smooth but you don't explicitly lead them on too hard. That way when you have to let one go, it won't be as harsh on them.

In fact you might even want to display friendly signals only to the less prettier one as it seems that you've made up your mind on who you want. And if u really want to, you can act like a really desperate guy around the less pretty one and hopefully that turns her off - if it doesn't as she's just as needy as you act, then it's backfired and your screwed.

But remember, girls talk to each other - and if bad word spreads, you could get blacklisted by both.

[Guest on-display]

If I was trying to come off needy to the girl i'm not interested in, I think it would definitely back fire. Girls definitely talk.

I've been in this situation before, but I let it drag on to the point where they thought i was interested in the other. So naturally that backfired. Should I just do the rejection early on in the game?

[superhero]

yes rejection early is good, no hard feelings. as long as your sure u dont want her.

[gettoasty]

LESSON: pay attention to signals guys!! This post is a real LOL

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ci4px/male_redditors_what_are_some_hints_females_gave/

"I once had a cute female in my bed. Said she was cold. So...I gave her another blanket. Not one of my most shining moments."

"One time, a girl kissed me on a school bus without warning and told me that I could get off at her stop and we could walk to her house because her parents weren't home. I said no because I was going to miss dragonball z"

Just thought the first scenario is hilarious, similar situation happened to me last summer haha!

Live and learn

[superhero]

i called that girl and it turns out shes 18 and studying med. very interesting - was just a brief convo just about studying and possibly hitting up a bar/club on the weekend.

[superhero]

man this has been the most interesting thread on SUFU for a long time. wtf happened to everyone

[broken_dubz]

i called that girl and it turns out shes 18 and studying med. very interesting - was just a brief convo just about studying and possibly hitting up a bar/club on the weekend.

stay away from medic b's - after goin thru med school i can wholheartedly say they are all fucked in the head in some way or another. the only genuine ones are generally unattractive or in serious relationships if they are hot.

What im saying is a huge generalisation of course, yours mite be the one but if she isnt batshit crazy then it will come a point where her career is gonna take priority over all else. The hot ones are the worst culprits, esp if she is 18 and in her first year (im assuming you are in europe, if you are in the US then the girl is full of shit unless its a pre-med program, which isnt med school anyway).

[Guest on-display]

^ such is life

[TTM]

New girl turns out to be a head case whore (eating disorders in HS and all that jazz), cant say i'm surprised - it was in the back of my head the whole time. She wants a second chance, says i'm special to her, yadda yadda. I'm no chump and so I will go with my gut and say no, HELL no.

Thanks for the summer fling and letting me squeeze those nice fake bitties