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Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

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thats gotta be one of the worst posts ive read on sufu

jesus

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generally it means when people see you with people and come to the conclusion that you are a social person.

for example, if i walk in a room with a hot girl on my arm, other girls will see this and conclude that i must have game and it bumps up my "value" on the dating market

girls wont like you if other girls dont like you.

leading guys is also a form of social proof

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generally it means when people see you with people and come to the conclusion that you are a social person.

for example, if i walk in a room with a hot girl on my arm, other girls will see this and conclude that i must have game and it bumps up my "value" on the dating market

girls wont like you if other girls dont like you.

leading guys is also a form of social proof

That's so lame. Is this a seduction (aka negger) term? I wanna make sure I don't need to ask you to sit at the back of the bus with the other "dungeon&dragons of flirting" champions.

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i, too have been accused of being a player. I don't understand it. I am literally as far away from that as possible - i spend every waking moment studying, my game is shit, i usually am very nervous to approach girls..why would a girl label me as such?

Is it the same way we label girls as skanks/sluts? I imagine girls dont think players can be relationship material in the same way us men dont view a slut as datable.

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If you didn't fuck her I don't see any success in that!

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If you didn't fuck her I don't see any success in that!

After yrs of trying and social proofing like mad crazy, dude finally managed to make out with a dead drunk girl at some party, mad success BRO!!

The younger generations are truly neutered.

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hahah the pussification of the younger generation.

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i ain't trippin, i'll get at it when she comes back, but you're right, i shouldnt be calling it success yet

so what if i like a chase

and no its not a negger term

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i, too have been accused of being a player. I don't understand it. I am literally as far away from that as possible - i spend every waking moment studying, my game is shit, i usually am very nervous to approach girls..why would a girl label me as such?

Is it the same way we label girls as skanks/sluts? I imagine girls dont think players can be relationship material in the same way us men dont view a slut as datable.

She read in a book that guys like to display "social proof" so she's trying to make you feel good to game you in paying for expensive meals She knows you're a dork, don't be afraid.

BTW in psych social proof=sorta like a lemming effect.

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Let's see... update us when she comes back.

When a girl goes on a vacation she usually hooks up with a dude. Or even if she doesn't, her emotions for you might change when she comes back. There are no guarantees. Girls get frustrated when you can't seal the deal. They will think you rejected them and you are too unattainable...move on to the next man who can satisfy her deep wet desires . When she comes back you are back to square one. Dun worry if you fail..its a training for future encounters. If you still get the girl then good for you!

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yeah, for all i know my feelings could change too

but i'll see whats up

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how so? . .. . .

In the absence of objective knowledge you rely on the multitude to lead you. You go to clubs where people are lining up, hire people that other people hired, buy the same detergent you see housewives buying and go for dudes accompanied by other chicks. etc.

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that's pretty much exactly what it is

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Raijio-

Do you ever talk about work w/ the wimminz? Female friends say I talk about work and school too much.

Also, is money and career success over bitties a bad order of priorities?

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+rep to my nigga kev07.learn from this dude fellas.

DON'T ONLY talk about work and school, thats boring ass shit. Thats what every single other guy brings up in the conversation and is the equivalent to corny ass lines like "the weather is nice today".

Be spontaneous and unpredictable say something out of the ordinary, something that would make you seem interesting. If you are a girl and were at a party (well the partys i would want to attend) why would you want to talk about what stress' you?

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pwnzj00:

in my experience, talking about school is an easy way to get hit with the friendcard, usually a pretty boring subject too. i'm not sayin it's voodoo to talk about it, but i wouldnt stick on the topic for too long

i don't know about work, someone else is going to have to chime in cause i've never really talked about my work before (browse sufu and OT at work all day concept)

and thanks ojjairus

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Work is also a complicated subject, you could come off as trying to impress her, or it could de value you. It all just depends.

When a girl asks you if you are a player its a "shit test" look it up. Best way to handle it is to play off it or try to ignore the comment. NEVER DISAGREE/AGREE unless you do it in a sarcastic kinda tone.

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I knew almost right away that when she called me a player that it was a shit test, but it was literally the first time a girl has ever called me a player so i only managed to give her a "really?" in a disbelieving-cocky tone. looking back, i should have probably agreed with her and said "yeah i get a new girl everyday of the week nawmean"

minor update: she just IMed me on fb from an internet cafe while on her weekend trip lols

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talking about work is generally fail as there are a million toolbag back office type people who can sound convincing and act like they're legit. if you have a job/profession that adds a lot of value potentially to you, it's better she finds out on her own than hears it from you. (i.e. if you're a surgeon resident, you're "just a resident") and if you're in finance and are bragging about your status job to a girl you just met, you completely fail and violate the first rule of finance club.

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+rep to my nigga kev07.learn from this dude fellas.

DON'T ONLY talk about work and school, thats boring ass shit. Thats what every single other guy brings up in the conversation and is the equivalent to corny ass lines like "the weather is nice today".

Be spontaneous and unpredictable say something out of the ordinary, something that would make you seem interesting. If you are a girl and were at a party (well the partys i would want to attend) why would you want to talk about what stress' you?

you dont talk about things that make women think, you talk about things that make women feel....unpredictable or out of the ordinary is a good start, but not the only way.

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^ you mentioned the girl in class said you were cocky

i think she mistook cocky for indifferent, no?

you'd have to ask her, but i think she meant cocky, iirc, something in the convo lead up to me asking her if she lived in a kitchen lol

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RAJIO, where are you?!?!

This thread sucks without you!

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Sorry my bad.

I've been very busy this weekend because I'm moving into a new high-rise apartment in Akasaka.

So been packing and doing logistics for that last couple days.

100052690104.jpg

080826_02.jpg

The place is quite nice, with a great skyline view of Tokyo from my 28th floor room. I hope to have a few pics of a few home parties on this thread in the future once I settle down...

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ayo DJraj you inspired to post up my progress with my top priority girl im workin on (i got about 2 others, one digs me, the other one is really just whatevs), so throw some heads up and critiques my way.

LONG AND DETAILED YO, I'm not saying i'm good with girls, cause i'm not, but this is one of my better experiences and I threw up all the small little details cause it would be generic without it, hopefully you can get something out of what I did right and dont repeat what I did wrong :o

Everything just works out really well with this girl, especially the social proofing.

All began when I met her a week ago through my boy. I end up sitting next to her and cracking some really good jokes and get her laughing, I excuse myself from dinner early to go for a swim. Later that night I get an add from her on FB

Next time I see her (a few days) I had just met this girl in class that sat next to me (10 minutes into meeting her she says i'm really cocky, significance of this later). We're walkin out of class and we bump into my priority girl, who coincidentally knows this girl (social proof). We chat for a bit and girl that i met mentions that I'm really cocky and i cut her off with a "yo dont listen to her" while putting my hand in front of her mouth, and my priority girl jumps in and says something that i don't remember, but i end up pulling the face in front of her mouth too and tease them about teaming up on me. She mentions something about a lounge that coming friday and asks if i want to go, I think about it for a sec and i just say "Call me" which causes girl I just met to say "SEE he's so cocky!" and priority girl responds with "actually i gotta admit that was pretty smooth", I didn't think it was that smooth but whatevs. I leave with girl i just met.

Fast forward to the thursday before we hit up that lounge, I decided to give her my # through message. She texts me later that night with "hey kpop king!(we talked about kpop music when i first met her), now you have my #, call me for lunch/dinner sometime!" I responded with "mmm I take girls out to dinner, not lunch" she says something like "oh so you're a traditional type... well im very untraditional... breakfast it is!" <-- I laughed lols

Day of the lounge, she calls me while I'm playing basketball and I decide to not go because she called me 10 minutes before they were leaving and I was sweaty as shit (hong kong humidity concept). and I could go out later that night anyways, she asks "why" when I said i'll pass, so I took it as a good sign, later that night I was drunk, which is probably why I had a good feeling about calling her at 3am, she didn't pick up but called me back, also drunk and i could have sworn she said "sup cutie"

Bunch of shit happens in between this and the next real "progress" most of it included great social proofing, most notably when I walked into the dining area with 8 girls and half of them ordered the same thing as me when I bumped into her. Also went to a little get together at my boy's pad, where I just had fun and didn't give her too much attention the whole night until about 1:30am and i talked to her more. We were looking through my camera and there was this one horrid picture of her and the whole "omg delete it dont tag dont upload to FB blah blah" and when I got back to my pad I accidentally deleted it (fail). Sometime during this night the topic of me making out with some chick at the club came up, I play it off indifferently.

Confusion point:

A few texts back and forth lead to me inviting her out to "get breakfast" at 10:30pm (reference to the text about her and the "breakfast it is!" text) where we got barged in by my whole crew, which included one of my friends who likes her but got friendcarded, so i decided to make my exit and when the attention wasnt on us, i mouthed to her if she'd like to go check out the beach( we got a little shore on campus) cause i remember she said she hadn't been there before, so we slip away. At the beach, she tells me that she thinks i'm a Player (total bullshit my game is crap), and literally starts pointing out everything i do that is "player-like" including the way i sit, stand, talk, make out with girls in clubs, etc etc. I deny it and she tries to get me to open up the whole night, but i just tease her and just keep talking. all in all, we ended up chillen for about 4 hours on the beach (mind you I was not spilling out my heart/past and all that gay shit, at least I don't think I was), and finally i decided i'd tell her one secret. she looked at me expectantly and I just looked at her back until she turned away and i kissed her on the cheek, got up and told her the secret (just that i've never had a long term relationship) and told her lets go. she stays seated and im just lookin at her and then she gets up and we just keep talking like nothing happened no awkwardness, but also no signs of interest, which trips me out a bit. we end up talking at the top of the stairs of the beach for another while before i finally cut out.

Success point: I was buzzin'/drunk most of this night so I don't remember exactly what order everything happened

Next day after the beach incident I go to my friend's beer pong kickback in her dorm room. I decided not to call and invite her until I got there (I was running late cause of laundry), but turns out she was already there when i showed up. I was a little indifferent at the beginning, but we played beerpong and i was on fire, she mentions how I live up to my word, which I mentioned that I rock at beer pong. Eventually she was ALL over me, holding my arm, grabbin(not slappin, like GRABBING) my ass, sitting on my lap etc etc during our second game of beer pong, and just being very close and friendly in general. After that game of beer pong, she lays down on my friend's bed so I ask her if shes alright and if she's not I would take her back. She said she was okay and lied back down so that was obviously bullshit, so I carry her back to her room along with 2 of my friends (one of them the guy that likes her) they were opening the doors for me. Get to her room and I lay her down and she's still being very touchy feely. She had a flight to catch in the afternoon so my 2 friends were trying to find an alarm to set, and she mouthed something to me, I didnt hear so I leaned in and she whispered that I better be back when she wakes up. I just look at her and lifted her chin and kissed her, when I pulled away she was smiling but I kept it short and sweet since my 2 friends were in there. We leave.

Fast forward to next morning, I woke up at 730am (wtf :confused:), and after uploading pictures on fb I decided that I would oblige her request to be back when she wakes up. I head over to her room and knock on her door, there was no response so I opened it and woke her up, at this point I have no idea what she remembers from last night. I tease her a bit about her drooling and how she needs to pack for her flight and she asks me to lay down with her so I do. She just woke up, so she had mad morning breath so we just kinda cuddled a bit and talked, told her a lot about what happened last night, but left out the kiss part. Eventually she gets up to shower and when she comes back (I think I missed a few signs here) she was in her towel, but she borrowed my sandals to shower and I hella had to go take a piss, so right when she comes in shes just in a towel and I'm like yo gimme my sandals I gotta go take a piss, so i bust my ass to the bathroom. when I come back she's wearing this one piece long hoodie thing, and looking back, I should have complemented that i liked it cause she didnt have shorts under it. but I missed my chance and just said something like are you gonna go like that and she put on shorts:rolleyes:. So then I tell her some more things about the night before while I get closer and i lifted her chin, and she asked me if there was anything else she forgot to which I kissed her and asked did you remember that? with a smile. she flips out a bit and asked if we did anything else, I said no. We then walked to get breakfast and I see her off at the bus stop, kissed her and slapped her on the ass goodbye cause she just went on a weekend vacation, will be back this Sunday.

I'm thinking about buying her a snickers bar next time I see her, probably Sunday but who knows how that's gonna go down cause her phone broke, she mentioned once that her favorite candy is snickers and girls get wet when you remember small insignificant things like that.

thoughts appreciated, if you actually read through that whole thing I hope you enjoyed it :D

I didn't read this in fully but you seem to have the right building blocks. Just don't let your ego get in the way. And based on what darkanimal wrote, seems like a lot of effort/work for a girl you never even slept with, so I wouldn't consider it a success either.

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Raijio-

Do you ever talk about work w/ the wimminz? Female friends say I talk about work and school too much.

Also, is money and career success over bitties a bad order of priorities?

I rarely talk about work or school w/ women.

My work is highly specialized in finance; even people in the finance world don't exactly understand what I do.

Therefore, instead of boring them, I tend to nip the issue and leave them with an air of mystery or make up an absurd profession like pencil sharpening, etc...

Woman: What do you do?

Me: I work in finance.

Woman: What exactly do you do in finance?

Me: Various things...

Woman: What do you do?

Me: I work in finance.

Woman: What exactly do you do in finance?

Me: I help Columbian druglords w/ capital financing for political coups, terrorist attacks in neighooring politically strived regions.

Woman: What do you do?

Me: I work in finance.

Woman: What exactly do you do in finance?

Me: I used to be a greedy banker for Lehman Brothers and helped instigate the world's worst finance crisis since the great depression...

Catch my drift?

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details on not letting my ego get in the way?

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So here's an important question I haven't seen covered in this thread yet - how to get to a girl's (who's into you but you're not into at all) more attractive friends? dr. raj your input would be appreciated especially.

This chick is all over me but I think I get less attracted to her every time we meet up (same residence hall concept, can't help it). The first day we met I let her stay the night because she didn't have anywhere to sleep so she kept me up in my bed all night messing around. Since then she's been texting me constantly, calling me constantly, being generally clingy. Normally I'd break it off or further capitalize but while she was showing me pictures of her friends one day I realized they're all girls I'd like to meet etc. But how to handle the transition from my attention being on her to her friends when it's her that's my only connect? Especially since I almost never see these other chicks normally.

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LOLOL where to find a kpop queen?

2 doors down from me

kpop 24/7

if I was into azn's I'd probably hit it.

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