Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[ojjairus]

telling someone to be themselves is fucking bullshit

.

In EVERYTHING you do you must put up a facade to suit your objective whether you like it or not or if you want to be successful. If you go to a job interview do you just be yourself? I highly doubt that(depending on what job tho). With girls its the same thing if you want some obese nice girl being yourself will work most of the time. But most attractive girls just aren't that easy to acquire and most of the traits of someone being themselves isn't the exact type they go for. If you know something works why not continue do it and make that become part of you and effortless.

Being "myself" is sitting on sufu all day not meeting womenz whats the probability of me finding a cute girl that way? /caseclosed.

ps:you can rep me for this.

[jl3969]

then 'you' are a boring person

[ojjairus]

you jealous!?

[djrajio]

you jealous!?

I sincerely hope not.

So last night I get a text from the 21 year old that I fucked a couple weeks ago asking if she can call me. I send her back a text and immediately she calls me asking me how I'm doing. I do the usual chit-chat and then all of a sudden she starts crying, just balling on the phone, and I'm trying to figure out why she's crying and why she called me.

At first I assumed it was because I hadn't met up with her since we fucked and she was pissed at me. But slowly I draw it out of her that she was just dumped from some 25 year old American guy she had been only dating for a month and how she tried so hard to make the relationship work but he decided to drop her. So she's a crazy wreck and I try to comfort her and make her feel better.

Eventually her friends come to see her and I get a phone call again 30 minutes later from her friends asking if I could come over to make her feel better. Mind you its sunday evening and I just finished another date w/ a separate girl and the commute would take 40 minutes so I told them no.

I eventually get a call from her thanking me for comforting her and that she's better. But my spider senses are going RED ALERT cuz this girl is obviously the clingy, wears her heart on her sleeve type.

I'm pretty sure she falls in love with guys w/ older guys all the time and this is probably not the first time she's been kicked to the curb by some guy who just wanted to get in her pants. It's ironic cuz when I was 21, I would have killed to have a girl like this in my life but now an older buck, you realize how naive their thinking is and fragile their hearts are once you crack thin shallow wrapping.

I'm 99.9% sure if I continue seeing this girl she'll fall in love with me.

So I'll probably just let it go...

[DJ_Flame]

Just curious how old are you raj?

[djrajio]

I wont say it on this thread but old enough.

[keagan]

that gives me and everyone else the right to assume you're 15

[blm14]

Dating <> fucking, for the record.

Once I got to be about 25, I stopped "trying" when it came to meeting women. If I saw a woman who I thought was attractive, I would just walk up to her and start talking to her casually. As soon as you stop making it seem like you're trying to come on, the guard comes down.

People say "just be yourself" which is sort of a silly statement. Who do you think I am trying to be now, MC Hammer?

What they mean is that you should just be relaxed and confident and don't make it look like you're nervous and overcompensate by trying to be showoffy. It's really easy once you're self-aware.

Of course, similar changes happen in the female population around the same age which makes (many if not most of) them able to see through the type of "game" that works through high school and the early 20s.

[blm14]

that gives me and everyone else the right to assume you're 15

Ding Ding Ding!

[riotC]

ive been in Tokyo for the past few days and went clubbing last Saturday . a few apanese girls came clinging on me and stuff and talk to me . when I reply sorry I'm a gaijin . they say sorry and walk away . I need some advice on how to step up my game play with j-girls .

FYI I'm look like a typical asian but I speak the shittiest japanese ever .

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

Dating <> fucking, for the record.

Once I got to be about 25, I stopped "trying" when it came to meeting women. If I saw a woman who I thought was attractive, I would just walk up to her and start talking to her casually. As soon as you stop making it seem like you're trying to come on, the guard comes down.

Question then – Since you have no underlying agenda anymore, how do you move it from 'hey I'm just talking to you' to 'hey I want pursue romantic entanglement with you' without being stuck in the friend zone?

[TransparentCranium]

Question then – Since you have no underlying agenda anymore, how do you move it from 'hey I'm just talking to you' to 'hey I want pursue romantic entanglement with you' without being stuck in the friend zone?

You don't really do that. If you are interesting and attractive (personality wise) enough she won't want to be your friend.

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

You don't really do that. If you are interesting and attractive (personality wise) enough she won't want to be your friend.

I don't know if I agree with that. But maybe that's because I'm just not interesting/attractive enough.

[billsayers]

I sincerely hope not.

So last night I get a text from the 21 year old that I fucked a couple weeks ago asking if she can call me.

At first I assumed it was because I hadn't met up with her since we fucked and she was pissed at me. But slowly I draw it out of her that she was just dumped from some 25 year old American guy she had been only dating for a month and how she tried so hard to make the relationship work but he decided to drop her. So she's a crazy wreck and I try to comfort her and make her feel better.

So I'll probably just let it go...

Let me get this straight, she JUST got dumped by a guy she was seeing for a month and you smashed her a couple of weeks ago.

Now she is crying because she "tried so hard to make the relationship work?" Did she sleep with other guys to fortify her relationship with her BF?

I say this girl has issues and you made the right call in letting her go.

[TransparentCranium]

Well what I've figured out from my experience. I don't really think women like to be handed your affection. Showing too much interest when she hasn't earned it will set off alarm bells in her head. So your intention is to talk to her. Lightly challenge her during conversation. When she meets your challenges well you toss in a subdued compliment. She feels she's earned your interest, and you can escalate from there.

[blm14]

Question then – Since you have no underlying agenda anymore, how do you move it from 'hey I'm just talking to you' to 'hey I want pursue romantic entanglement with you' without being stuck in the friend zone?

You're missing the point. It's not about not having an agenda - obviously if you're interested then you have an agenda.

The trick is just to be forthright about it. Let her know you're attracted without being overbearing...

[turcy.]

Question then – Since you have no underlying agenda anymore, how do you move it from 'hey I'm just talking to you' to 'hey I want pursue romantic entanglement with you' without being stuck in the friend zone?

this is a funny question.

people ask this as if there's anything they can even do about it.

a girl, just like a guy (yes, we're both humans), will decide within seconds/minutes whether you're going into the friend zone or the fuck zone, it's a simple yes/no in her brain, and after that you might as well just fuck or give up.

[blm14]

For the record, though, the friend zone can be overcome. I did it - 2 years of friendship and I was successful in moving past it!

[sonicvoodoo]

this thread is gold

[avantster]

Good thread, raj.

this is a funny question.

people ask this as if there's anything they can even do about it.

a girl, just like a guy (yes, we're both humans), will decide within seconds/minutes whether you're going into the friend zone or the fuck zone, it's a simple yes/no in her brain, and after that you might as well just fuck or give up.

Not quite.

A woman will decide if she definitely does NOT want to sleep with you within seconds/minutes. The rest get put in the MAYBE zone and whether you stay in there is dependent on a plethora of things that can be anything from whether you're as interesting as you appear to be, to her emotional state, to something you might think is irrelevant like the day of the week. This is also why women constantly throw shit tests at guys.

[ojjairus]

anyone have any obscure shit tests they have expirienced?

[Wesley Pipes]

One time a chick asked me to suck her dick.

[poly800rock]

Dating <> fucking, for the record.

Once I got to be about 25, I stopped "trying" when it came to meeting women. If I saw a woman who I thought was attractive, I would just walk up to her and start talking to her casually. As soon as you stop making it seem like you're trying to come on, the guard comes down.

People say "just be yourself" which is sort of a silly statement. Who do you think I am trying to be now, MC Hammer?

What they mean is that you should just be relaxed and confident and don't make it look like you're nervous and overcompensate by trying to be showoffy. It's really easy once you're self-aware.

Of course, similar changes happen in the female population around the same age which makes (many if not most of) them able to see through the type of "game" that works through high school and the early 20s.

hammer worked out for me.

[ojjairus]

Wesp- i hope you replied "im not that easy".

[Wesley Pipes]

that and "I'm not that freaky to mess with a chick with a stick".

[Lab]

^ lady gaga status type shit

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

Good thread, raj.

Not quite.

A woman will decide if she definitely does NOT want to sleep with you within seconds/minutes. The rest get put in the MAYBE zone and whether you stay in there is dependent on a plethora of things that can be anything from whether you're as interesting as you appear to be, to her emotional state, to something you might think is irrelevant like the day of the week. This is also why women constantly throw shit tests at guys.

Heh, I spent the last two hours kickin' it with some platonic female friends and we basically got drunk and got down to figuring out that men want x and women want y and neither knows what the fuck.

case in point: my friend slept with my other friend and has mixed signals. as for me, i realized i'm head over heels with this one chick and have no idea wtf to do.

i'll probably ask her if she wants to surf/study for gres later this week....and see what happens there, it's probably too early to ask for a dinner date.

[Wesley Pipes]

I never like going on like a super official dinner date with a girl. I would rather just hang out and do whatever comes to mind. Keep these hoes on their toes and be spontaneous

[6ixes&7evens]

I like dinner dates it makes me feel classy

[djrajio]

I like dinner dates it makes me feel classy

You still a virgin?