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Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

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I've known her for a while, but she always uses protection. Quite tired of that.

you should both go for checkups and if you're both clear (highly likely) then you might be able to coerce (i mean convince) her to go on the pill.

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Bumping this gem of a thread.

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dear lord djrajio,

i'm in the midst of a prolonged sexual drought and shit SUCKS. don't really know what to do. so the broad question is, WTF i'm tryna smack up some hos, where they at

sincerely,

heartofsawdust

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I'd like to say that I gave some djrajio-sytle girl advice to a friend/roommate who was in hot pursuit of a neighbor of ours...within 2 weeks she had the beezy in bed and had her paying for lunch. So I'm passing the thanks along.

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I've known her for a while, but she always uses protection. Quite tired of that.

patiently awaiting the "omg she's pregnant" post in superconfessional

i hate condoms as much as the next man, but trust me when I say, make sure this girl is 100% on top of her birth control routine if you plan on smashing raw.

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I'd like to say that I gave some djrajio-sytle girl advice to a friend/roommate who was in hot pursuit of a neighbor of ours...within 2 weeks she had the beezy in bed and had her paying for lunch. So I'm passing the thanks along.

works on L's too huh.

heartsawdust- just text all the girls in your phone "can i tap that"

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dear lord djrajio,

i'm in the midst of a prolonged sexual drought and shit SUCKS. don't really know what to do. so the broad question is, WTF i'm tryna smack up some hos, where they at

sincerely,

heartofsawdust

I was in a similar situation as you and hadn't had sex in 3 months.

Ironically the more I tried to pursuit sex, the more it retracted women away.

Then, when I wasn't focusing so much on trying to get it, it came naturally.

In addition, after getting over the first hump, girls started to natural come out of the wood work and then engine starting humming nicely again.

I say focus on other parts of your life but still allow women in it.

Things will just happen naturally.

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I was in a similar situation as you and hadn't had sex in 3 months.

Ironically the more I tried to pursuit sex, the more it retracted women away.

Then, when I wasn't focusing so much on trying to get it, it came naturally.

In addition, after getting over the first hump, girls started to natural come out of the wood work and then engine starting humming nicely again.

I say focus on other parts of your life but still allow women in it.

Things will just happen naturally.

same thing for me, pretty much every year of my life. I have a dry season, a wet season, and nothing ever goes as smoothly as I want it to. The more you get into your funk, the more things just fall apart. You start looking bad, you reek of desperation, I get to the point where I can't even dress myself properly or go for good food, it's like SAD for me. Then one day, when I'm looking and feeling my worst and feel like I have nothing to lose, maybe even forego a shower or not brush my teeth, some girl will come along and just stick to me for reasons beyond me, and suddenly there is light in the world again.

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So i went out to catch up with my friend and some girl he pulled a few months ago met up with us part-way through. Cute girl but as much as I know he wouldn't care, I'm not going to try and pull a girl he invited. My friend is every PUA/natural/playboy you've ever met rolled into one. Strippers, porn stars, kyaba girls, married, group,one nighter's 5 nights a week etc. and the conversations completely uninhibited. He spends a bit telling us about all the crazy shit he's been up to and tells us about a happening bar where he and some other girl met some AV stars. Its interesting stuff but its coming up on last train so I bounce without saying goodnight cause I gotta run. 20 minutes later, the girl sends me a mail on my ketai (I didn't give her my addy) saying I'm her new "baka friend" and "lets go to happening bar". Does she really mean it or is she just joking? I told her we should kick it tomorrow but I haven't said what we're doing yet.

This is part of my larger problem. I do OK with girls but I'm just a bitch when it comes to escalating. I always fall back on the "nice guy" go out to dinner and chat and then don't know how to move things forward. I'm all corny like "what do you do and how do you feel about that" and shit. I take a girl out, maybe invite her over to cook and we watch some comedy or something and she gets feelings. My man just bumps into a girl on the train, nods at the doors and 30 minutes later shes bent over a love hotel couch. When I was a brainwashed kid, I just wanted a girl to like me. Now 50 girls do but all of them want to be my wife as soon as I open my mouth and my priorities are all confused. Fuck it, I guess I just need to take a flying shot at what I want and if I don't get it, at least I tried. If we go, i took a 23 year old hottie to a happening bar to chill, if she was joking and thinks I'm a creep, oh well.

Edit: Just so I don't sound like a total bitch, a K girl just emailed me about tonight, seeing another Sunday, and leaving the country to see my main next week. Just need to get better at getting what I want.

I'm sorry but I don't seem to see a problem with your situation.

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same thing for me, pretty much every year of my life. I have a dry season, a wet season, and nothing ever goes as smoothly as I want it to. The more you get into your funk, the more things just fall apart. You start looking bad, you reek of desperation, I get to the point where I can't even dress myself properly or go for good food, it's like SAD for me. Then one day, when I'm looking and feeling my worst and feel like I have nothing to lose, maybe even forego a shower or not brush my teeth, some girl will come along and just stick to me for reasons beyond me, and suddenly there is light in the world again.

Yeah I feel you on that.

I'm actually going through a problem where a believe girls are heavily attracted to me but are freaking afraid of meeting up with me after the first meeting because the attraction is too extreme.

Last Tuesday I did another nomikai-gokon and played my usually cool self and the feisty one of the bunch goes out of her way to get my number/email and then proceeds to ask me out for drinks two hours later on e-mail. Since she's the aggressive type I mirrior her actions and suggest for this Friday evening (tonight). She says she can't because she has other plans but later sends me an e-mail saying she'll cancel her plans to meet me. Well end of story she flakes and pulls back HARD and suggests we see each other at the end of the month.

This is the third time in 3 months this has happened. The first time I played it conservative and suggest a week/two weeks later, another was an attention hoe and now this one which is also an attention hoe pulled back hard even though I know for a fact just by the way she eyed/looked at me she was attracted.

So I'm now going through a phase where I need to tone down on the attraction and be less intimidating sexually....

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I'm sorry but I don't seem to see a problem with your situation.

Went out and read a bit a meditated on this and its all good. I think sitting down and writing out what your thinking really helps you to figure out the answer. I've started to post in this thread a few times before and every time I got about half-way through I realized I just wanted someone else to validate what I already knew (or should already have known). Stop questioning yourself, thats why you're fucking up! Meeting her up tomorrow and not thinking about it at all beyond that.

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Yeah I feel you on that.

I'm actually going through a problem where a believe girls are heavily attracted to me but are freaking afraid of meeting up with me after the first meeting because the attraction is too extreme.

Last Tuesday I did another nomikai-gokon and played my usually cool self and the feisty one of the bunch goes out of her way to get my number/email and then proceeds to ask me out for drinks two hours later on e-mail. Since she's the aggressive type I mirrior her actions and suggest for this Friday evening (tonight). She says she can't because she has other plans but later sends me an e-mail saying she'll cancel her plans to meet me. Well end of story she flakes and pulls back HARD and suggests we see each other at the end of the month.

This is the third time in 3 months this has happened. The first time I played it conservative and suggest a week/two weeks later, another was an attention hoe and now this one which is also an attention hoe pulled back hard even though I know for a fact just by the way she eyed/looked at me she was attracted.

So I'm now going through a phase where I need to tone down on the attraction and be less intimidating sexually....

I actually feel this way too, but with K-beezies, they try to act cool about it but their game is so amateur, they're not as good at the poker face shit. I'll have beezies acting pretty cold the first date and then a couple drinks in and all lubed up, the floodgates burst and they're D(ying)TF.

I haven't even really talked to a girl for like 6 months or so, since I have this gf now, but I feel like if I have to hit the circuit again, I will come back pretty hard and my game would be pretty smooth if I concentrated enough on it. I'm still a loose cannon and drink too much, but the years adding up without getting too old help a bit.

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so how does one sexcalate? I'm pretty much in the friend zone since a lot of the girls i meet tend to be friends of friends - should i just man up and be like yo beezy, lets go to a bar?

and fuck, where should i go for first dates? i'm thinking it's going to head to a bar from now on and see what happens basically.

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Have this problem with girls casting me as the guy who doesn't count. Man whore. Someone for fun but nothing meaningful. It's not really a problem since I can't settle on just one girl for long, but I'd like the option to if I chose it. How to attract girls without them thinking you're overly playboy-ish? How to adress their fear of abandonment?

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Have this problem with girls casting me as the guy who doesn't count. Man whore. Someone for fun but nothing meaningful. It's not really a problem since I can't settle on just one girl for long, but I'd like the option to if I chose it. How to attract girls without them thinking you're overly playboy-ish? How to adress their fear of abandonment?

What's the saying?

It takes years to build a reputation and a moment to destroy it.

The reason girls don't take you seriously is because they know you're a man whore.

Be discreet about it and never tell anyone your business (except this thread).

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Hai, i leave for college in less than two weeks. I met this bittie in december at my schools christmas dance, hit it off and shit but never pursued. She was the type of girl i would get serious with so i never got involved knowing i would leave in six months. hit her up the other day on fb, she texts me today say we need to chill before she leaves. She will be going to louisville, i will go to pennsylvania, so nowhere close. prob grabbin coffee next week. we have friends in common and three of me best friends just got a house and always have people over, should i try to lay game and smash when shes over with potential to ruin friendship or keep (potentially meaningless) long distance friendship?

How are you going to "lay game" over coffee?

I think you shouldn't do anything with this girl.

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im not sure if this has already been discussed, but is there a successful way to flirt with/ask out the cute cashier at the boba shop? shes white, not asian, if that makes any difference

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Hai, i leave for college in less than two weeks. I met this bittie in december at my schools christmas dance, hit it off and shit but never pursued. She was the type of girl i would get serious with so i never got involved knowing i would leave in six months. hit her up the other day on fb, she texts me today say we need to chill before she leaves. She will be going to louisville, i will go to pennsylvania, so nowhere close. prob grabbin coffee next week. we have friends in common and three of me best friends just got a house and always have people over, should i try to lay game and smash when shes over with potential to ruin friendship or keep (potentially meaningless) long distance friendship?

If you're going to smash at the friends go for coffee first but then try and work in a couple different venues for conversation afterward. You'll have a chance to talk casually while traveling between venues and the multitude of different activities will make her feel as she's known you well for much longer than is reality. Then bring her over and pour a drink for you both and smash away (assuming your game was on point throughout the day.)

What's the saying?

It takes years to build a reputation and a moment to destroy it.

The reason girls don't take you seriously is because they know you're a man whore.

Be discreet about it and never tell anyone your business (except this thread).

Hm true. I've tried to enforce a rule on myself that I will always protect a girls reputation. I never talk about sexual conquests with other guys or girls, and if I do there are never names involved. I think I'm just not very good at keeping things under wraps in party situations, and I rely too much on social proofing to land new women. As in it's much easier to get a girl when she knows all the other girls at the function are interested in me, or have already accepted me as a potential. Need a new way to demonstrate that I'm a sought after male without seeming like I fuck anything that walks...

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If you're going to smash at the friends go for coffee first but then try and work in a couple different venues for conversation afterward. You'll have a chance to talk casually while traveling between venues and the multitude of different activities will make her feel as she's known you well for much longer than is reality. Then bring her over and pour a drink for you both and smash away (assuming your game was on point throughout the day.)

Hm true. I've tried to enforce a rule on myself that I will always protect a girls reputation. I never talk about sexual conquests with other guys or girls, and if I do there are never names involved. I think I'm just not very good at keeping things under wraps in party situations, and I rely too much on social proofing to land new women. As in it's much easier to get a girl when she knows all the other girls at the function are interested in me, or have already accepted me as a potential. Need a new way to demonstrate that I'm a sought after male without seeming like I fuck anything that walks...

Have you thought about saying no?

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I've learnt the hard way...best to keep sordid secrets exclusive to yourself. There are a few times I coulda have banged one but thanks to my loudmouth things backfired.

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I remember some heads before saying that a train pickup is impossible, and I always thought the same, but what transpired last night has changed my life.

It's 3 am, I'm in Brooklyn, just had dinner with a friend I haven't seen in awhile, we drank a bottle of Vodka between the two of us, we obviously couldn't drive afterwards so we say fuck it, let's sleep in the car for a few hours, we'll wake up in the morn and go home.

I can't sleep, so I say fuck it, the train is right here, I'm just gonna go home, will only take me an hour, whatever.

It's the F train stop on Macdonalds Ave, and there is NO ONE on the platform except this very cute, albeit slightly chunky hipster bitch. She actually initiated saing something corny as hell like, " Oh wow, I can't believe there are any other type of lifeforms right here now."

I start talking to her, girl tells me she moved here from Memphis in order to start a stage and theater career or some bullshit.

Bottom line, the train comes, we're still talking, when it's her stop she invites me to come over, we have a few beers each at her place then fuck. She fell asleep and I dipped in the morning.

I no longer believe train fucks are impossible, sex was great too.

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I've learnt the hard way...best to keep sordid secrets exclusive to yourself. There are a few times I coulda have banged one but thanks to my loudmouth things backfired.

I do keep things to myself though. It's what other people say about me that gives women that impression.

Have you thought about saying no?

Refusing sexual activity with girls I'm attracted to? That's tantamount to exclaming my homosexuality. Although I could say it in a way that they know I'd rail them hard and good, just not for everyone to know about. Hmmm.

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I find it interesting that most advices here can be applied only to some subset of girls (sociable/extraverts). I know this very modest girl in her 20's, very cute (thin, blonde, blue-eyed, almost 6ft tall). And I'm starting to understand that all this macho-dont-be-a-nice-guy attitude does not work with her at all.

Bottom line: Just be yourself, you'll eventually find a girl that suits you.

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this isn;t about "find a girl that suits you", asshole, its about getting your dick wet

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isnt that what they all say............haha

the most cliche thing ever said in here

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I find it interesting that most advices here can be applied only to some subset of girls (sociable/extraverts). I know this very modest girl in her 20's, very cute (thin, blonde, blue-eyed, almost 6ft tall). And I'm starting to understand that all this macho-dont-be-a-nice-guy attitude does not work with her at all.

Bottom line: Just be yourself, you'll eventually find a girl that suits you.

nobody's saying don't be nice. Just don't be a pushover and don't overthink things.

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