Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[djrajio]

i had a friend a long time ago that gamed a girl who had a bf. then basically when he got it, was like, fuck that, if this bitch is cheating when I'm hooking up, she's cheating later as well.

What's the saying?

You can't turn a hoe into a housewife?

[homi29]

Think about it homie:

If a women is willing to leave someone she supposedly cares and loves because you magically swept her off her feet, what makes you think she won't leave you for some other guy.

I wouldn't touch another guy's girl if I knew she had a bf. If she hides the fact she has a bf, then its a different story.

yeah true. id rather live drama free as well

but damn you always want what you cant have or things that are challenging to you know

[styleofmind]

djrajio.

Lying to girls concept. Start of every new relationship comes the inevitable question, "How many?". I'm turning 22, I'm on 25. Naturally, most girls get turned off. Now, I can either lie about it and pray I don't get caught.

Or I can tell the truth and run the risk.

What to do?

[phen3N]

i'm impressed, not only by the number, but also by the fact that you were able to keep count of the bitties

[djrajio]

I have no idea how many women I've fucked and I really don't keep count. I think keeping count is retarded/childish since I'm a firm believer in quality over quantity and there will always be someone who has a "higher count". You can boast you've fucked 25 women, but really how many of those are you really proud of, remember, etc. See, I never really have your problem because I never keep count. So if a women would ever ask me this question, I can always say "I don't know" with sincerity. Honestly, I think you just made this post to boast how many women you've fucked but really it shouldn't be a serious matter either way.

[styleofmind]

No, I ask this question because I just lost arguably the most important thing that's ever happened to me because I lied to her.

I'd honestly trade in every single one of them for her.

*

It's like that quote from Alfie.

Some money in my pocket, some nice threads, a fancy car at my disposable and I'm utterly single. But I don't have peace of mind. So what's the point? And if you don't really have that, what do you have?

[djrajio]

How did she "find" out?

It's not like she interviewed every single one of the bitches you fucked before and got a confession.

The reason she is making it a big deal is because YOU MADE IT A BIG DEAL.

If you had just played it off and said, a "I don't really count" and "its not really important" and softly diffused the situation, none of this bullshit would have happened.

Instead you had to tell her the "truth"; whatever that means.

HERES SOME ADVICE I LEARNED WHEN I WAS A BANKER.

Whenever you confronted with a situation where you have to a conflict, you should ask yourself two questions:

1) Am I right in this argument?

2) Does it matter?

You might have been fine with question one, but for question two, you failed. It didn't matter if you said 3 or 10 or 100, she just wanted validation that you aren't a man-whore but you fucked that up.

[styleofmind]

Hm.

1) Yes I'm right.

2) Bitches be crazy. It matters to her.

It's not the amount that shits her, it's the fact that I lied.

And I know, that's an isolated incident.

This one's done and gone, I'm more or less washing my hands off it.

But for future reference, to tell the truth or just downplay and pray she never finds out? I mean, even if I say "I don't know", realistically, the girl's going to be like "How can you not know? That many? What about a ball park figure".

There's no real getting away from that question, especially in a serious relationship.

Plus girls aren't as dumb as we think they are. Suspicions get aroused and all that.

[blm14]

The correct answer to "how many women have you had before me" is ALWAYS:

"None of them matter because I'm with you now, and anyways they all pale in comparison to you in every way"

end of discussion

[ProfMonnitoff]

thats corny and every girl will realize its a cheap cop out

[blm14]

Corny? Yes.

Successful? (many times) Yes.

[DaBestSpoona]

The correct answer to "how many women have you had before me" is ALWAYS:

"None of them matter because I'm with you now, and anyways they all pale in comparison to you in every way"

end of discussion

"and I'm sure you will pale in comparison to the next one"

[blm14]

"I'm always in the market for a future ex Mrs. Malcom"

[djrajio]

Hm.

1) Yes I'm right.

2) Bitches be crazy. It matters to her.

It's not the amount that shits her, it's the fact that I lied.

And I know, that's an isolated incident.

This one's done and gone, I'm more or less washing my hands off it.

But for future reference, to tell the truth or just downplay and pray she never finds out? I mean, even if I say "I don't know", realistically, the girl's going to be like "How can you not know? That many? What about a ball park figure".

There's no real getting away from that question, especially in a serious relationship.

Plus girls aren't as dumb as we think they are. Suspicions get aroused and all that.

Oh well, ur fucked then. boo hoo. Next Question!

[flyordie]

hey, my girlfriend's been on prozac recently for manic depression and

HER SEX DRIVE IS GONE

as in, its totally nonexistant now.

what do i do? i mean, it's selfish for me to get her to get off prozac, isn't it? and being a girl she's all 'oh wouldnt u prefer an all around happier me except no sex'

NO ITS FUCKING KILLING ME

WHAT DO I DO HELP PLZ

[Guest jmatsu]

hey, my girlfriend's been on prozac recently for manic depression and

HER SEX DRIVE IS GONE

as in, its totally nonexistant now.

what do i do? i mean, it's selfish for me to get her to get off prozac, isn't it? and being a girl she's all 'oh wouldnt u prefer an all around happier me except no sex'

NO ITS FUCKING KILLING ME

WHAT DO I DO HELP PLZ

just have her suck it.

[DaBestSpoona]

hey, my girlfriend's been on prozac recently for manic depression and

HER SEX DRIVE IS GONE

as in, its totally nonexistant now.

what do i do? i mean, it's selfish for me to get her to get off prozac, isn't it? and being a girl she's all 'oh wouldnt u prefer an all around happier me except no sex'

NO ITS FUCKING KILLING ME

WHAT DO I DO HELP PLZ

replace her prozac with placebos

if she doesnt want to fuck you on placebos, then you'll at least know she aint down with fucking you.

[redgrail]

damn son, I was on tha bus (strickly hi class rollin) coming back from work and I sat next to this artsy dime piece.

She smiled at me at the busstop and kept lookin at me and shit, playing with her hair, toes pointed, all the signs in the book. When we got on the bus, she ignored all the other open seats and sat right next to me and gave me the arm-to-arm rubbage. Next stop, bus became so crowded, people were crammed in everywhere. I'm like damn, but I got my seat, so I look over to make my move and girl is groovin to her ipod and looking the other way. Never once removes her buds or looks my way and keeps her body language all squared off. How the fuck do you initiate when girl is in her own world and the bus is full of grumpy old people trying to make it back from work to their kids to have kfc night or whatever?

HOW TO PULL OFF?

[TransparentCranium]

yeah true. id rather live drama free as well

but damn you always want what you cant have or things that are challenging to you know

so hit it. Should be in the frame that it doesnt count, so she can go back to the BF or be fuckbuddy. Never date a cheater though. (Unless it's your thing to cheat as well)

[Guest Methimphibian]

just ask her out, like u were supposed to do a week ago. and not to another social event.

[gfunkdocta]

turn gay. next question.

[ProfMonnitoff]

only read the last paragraph but call her once and ask her if she wants to do something [specific], and if that doesnt work out then don't do anything.

[whitney]

hey, my girlfriend's been on prozac recently for manic depression and

HER SEX DRIVE IS GONE

as in, its totally nonexistant now.

what do i do? i mean, it's selfish for me to get her to get off prozac, isn't it? and being a girl she's all 'oh wouldnt u prefer an all around happier me except no sex'

NO ITS FUCKING KILLING ME

WHAT DO I DO HELP PLZ

"not if it makes me miserable. you wouldn't be happy if i was miserable now would you?"

replace her prozac with placebos

if she doesnt want to fuck you on placebos, then you'll at least know she aint down with fucking you.

best advice ever.

djr, how do I approach this or save this as I think I fucked up big time. This is a bit long but please bear with me.

For easier discussions sake, I'll just give the girl a name, Megan. Anyhow, heres the run down of my story.

Megan and I met at a private college tutor's home since January but we didn't really started talking until 3 weeks ago because our tutor held this big dinner party at some fancy restaurant and both Megan and I attend. It was about 2 weeks ago, our tutor thought Megan and I are good match so our tutor was planning to hook us up starts brainwashing us saying good words for both Megan and I. A little brief background of our tutor, we both take her as half a sister kinda thing so we do look up to her.

Last Monday, my tutor told me that I should ask Megan out because she thinks we'd be a good match. At first, I was a bit skeptical because Megan is pretty cute and good looking and I didn't thought I would be good enough for her. Anyhow, I got Megan's number last Monday and then I texted her and asked for her MSN as well. That night, we talked a little on MSN but she has a midterm exam the next day so our conversation was brief.

Anyhow, comes last Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, I texted her every once in a while (she does get back to me) and talk to her on MSN for about 1-2 hours a day because she doesn't stay online for too long. However, after the few days of chit chat on MSN (granted only 1-2 hrs a day), I strongly believe she is interested in me by the way she talks.

Last Friday, I asked Megan out along with some friends to prep up and stock up on food and supplies for a big barbeque last Saturday (I was the event planner for the barbeque, I was literally running the whole damn event with some help from various friends, and Megan knows this). Friday went pleasantly well, but Megan and I didn't get to talk much because we didn't have much private time. That Friday evening, Megan had to go home early because of some family dinner. But the rest of us, along with my tutor, we went to grab some food at some restaurant. At some particular moment, my tutor and I was alone and my tutor dropped a bombshell on me. My tutor told me that she actually talked to Megan about it and found out Megan has a crush on me. So I was like, great, this one is in the bag.

Comes last Saturday, the barbeque, as the event planner, I went to the beach super early to save up a nice spot so other people can have a peace in mind that they can arrive later in the day and barbeque away. This is the day that I fucked up big time. Once in a while, I'll go over to Megan and ask her what she wants to eat or drink and I'll grab it for her but that is pretty much it. As throughout the barbeque, I kinda neglected Megan and never really talk to her as we didn't get any alone time. She has given me hints throughout the day for me to ask her out but for some reason, I didn't have the balls to or didn't thought it was time to ask. Anyhow, the barbeque ended and we headed out for some dinner because a particular few (who were Megan's friend) who attended was left a little hungry because they didn't eat much due to the sun. Little did I know, Megan herself was probably hungry as she didn't eat much as well. We left in separate cars as Megan was at her friend's car and my car was piled up with bbq stoves and beach chairs and what not. I had a guy friend called Ken in my car because we had to carry shit left and right into my car. As we're leaving, Megan's friend called my guy friend and they asked us where to eat. Tired out of our mind, it took Ken and I about 5 mins to decide where to grab some late night snack. At the restaurant, I saw Megan was either a bit tired or upset. Anyhow, I was a little sick at the restaurant maybe due to dehydration so I didn't really thought much about it. After the late night dinner, we went to bowl for a bit and after that, we left home separately. To sum it up, the entire day she has been giving me hints and wants me to ask her out but I didn't for reasons that I don't even know of. After I got home, Megan left me a MSN message saying thank you for organizing the event and she told to sleep early so I feel better.

Last Sunday, Megan told our tutor that it's not working out because she thinks I'm too indecisive. I do not really understand what she means by indecisive, maybe she means I took too long to pop the question? She did also say things were probably happening too quickly and we both got swept off our feet. Though, she did not burn any bridges saying we won't work out ever. On a more positive note, my tutor did tell me that she won't reject me if I try and date her in the future.

This Monday and yesterday, I was pretty upset. After what I heard from my tutor though, it gave me a little bit of hope so I man up and talked to her again in MSN but without the flirting. She is pretty responsive and did not avoid me and even ask me what I did the during the day.

So djr, do you think she is still interested or is she no longer interested because she thinks I'm indecisive? I personally don't think a girl who has a crush on someone for 1-2 weeks would suddenly lose all her interest in a guy because she is getting choked on something that happened in 1 day. How do I approach this or should I just give up? I thought of asking her out again but since she only recently subtly rejected me, I didn't thought it was a good idea. But if djr or everyone here thinks I should, I'll ask her out again.

Sorry again for the super long type up.

...

girls sometimes like it when a guy takes charge. says let's go out for pizza! or lets get dressed up and sip on wine while browsing around in an art gallery showing! etc etc. something, anything rather then the dreaded "shrug" "i don't care" "whatever you want" "i don't know"

if you had that kinda attitude then maybe thats why she felt that way

otherwise

girl is crazy and no matter how hot she is (from what you wrote she's a bit above average, or above you) it ain't worth it if she's gonna get hurt by you having to run around playing host at that thingy, its not like you were smooching up to some other chick

[ProfMonnitoff]

says I can ask her out still (not sure if it's a social thing or 1 to 1 thing).

I talked to her after I fucked up and she is still pretty responsive and asks me what I did during the day.

How to approach?

This version is better I suppose?

call her once and ask her if she wants to do something [specific], and if that doesnt work out then don't do anything.

youre way overthinking this

[hellogoodbye]

wtf

u have/had the upper hand but you're messing it up u pussy fuck

story was cute tho

[ProfMonnitoff]

youre interested in this girl

she might be too

calling her takes 5 minutes

you're already not dating her

what do you have to lose

[bchhun]

Straight up, you are stressing too much on one girl. Take a step back, don't get caught up, and you'll be doing both yourself and the girl a favor.

[djrajio]

K, I'll sum it up.

Girl and I have mutual feelings for 1 week or had mutual feelings for 1 week.

Took me too long to pull the trigger. All this happened within 1 weeks time.

She tells her friend that I'm indecisive and it's not working out for now. But she did not burn any bridges and says I can ask her out still (not sure if it's a social thing or 1 to 1 thing).

I talked to her after I fucked up and she is still pretty responsive and asks me what I did during the day.

How to approach?

This version is better I suppose?

Frankly I didn't read your long post but I did read this.

You probably are indecisive given how hard you are thinking about this and how long your first post was.

Seems to be your letting your emotions get the best of you.

I would wait two-three weeks and ask her out again.

[Astérix]

Think about that for a second...

[lumberjack]

no...

talk to other girls in the interim.