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Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column


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this girl ive been friends with for ages has started sleepin around again

 

it never really phased me but now its abit frustrating

 

 

never really found this girl physically attractive (has a great ass though) but i think ive caught feelings

 

fuck feelings

The only reason reason why you are feeling bumped is because she's sleeping with everybody but she's not fuckin you, not because you suddenly developed feelings for her. As a male, your ego is bruised.

Same reason as how some players usually pretend to like and pay attention to the victim's circle of friends in the beginning and ignore the pretty one to get her curious and shit. Not that this is the same case tho, as I don't think she's physically attracted to you, that's why she's fuckin everyone but you.

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Bz is confusing.

Still pulls the homie card but really wants to hang out, at one point sent a good night text with X's and O's, and called me boo.

Should I be confused or am I reading into things too hard? I've maintained my composure except for maybe covering some food when we hung out earlier this week, but she swears she'll pay me back (don't really care tbh). I just want to know what the hell is going on before I make any kind of "move".

Oh, apparently she likes chicks too.

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Bz is confusing.

Still pulls the homie card but really wants to hang out, at one point sent a good night text with X's and O's, and called me boo.

Should I be confused or am I reading into things too hard? I've maintained my composure except for maybe covering some food when we hung out earlier this week, but she swears she'll pay me back (don't really care tbh). I just want to know what the hell is going on before I make any kind of "move".

Oh, apparently she likes chicks too.

 

Stay away.  Girl is feeding off your attention, leading you on. If she cared enough for it to matter to you, she'd make it clear where you and her stand.

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Met this cute girl last weekend at the bar and we kinda hit it off. Hung out Saturday morning for a bit at her place, smoked a bowl and chilled. Met up again this Wednesday, the entire premise of our date being a game of Scrabble. As soon as the date starts, she bails on that idea because her friends said it sounded boring. Whatever, we can still hang. She then tells me it's two of her friends' last night in town and she'd maybe like to meet up with them. I'm a little taken aback because I thought we were planning to hang all night and she apologized. We hang for awhile, do happy hour, grab some food, chill for a bit, but she eventually ends the night to go see her friends. Cool, whatever, it's their last night in town. Do what ya gotta do. We plan to see each other again on Friday (today). I get a text yesterday saying she forgot all about one of her friend's birthdays so she probably can't hang out Friday night. Me, being a little drunk at a happy hour stupidly reply with something along the lines of "if ya don't wanna hang just say so" obv being a little butthurt that she's flaking on me for her friends again so soon. That night she replies "of course I wanna hang out that's why I said I did." I pass out and don't reply. Wake up in the morning and send a message saying no worries we can try again early next week. Then outta nowhere a couple hours later I get a message saying "Dude dum dum texted me this morning and didn't even apologize about being such a weirdo!" wrong recipient because that's presumably about me. Have yet to get any replies via text or call, so this is already pretty much written off by now.

The stupid thing is she was trying to play this all slow and relationship like, instead of just hooking up quickly which is how I usually roll. I was fine to play it that way because I've actually gotten outta my slump and hooked up with a few randoms this month. Not just trying to get laid and I honestly thought we were clicking on a really good level. (big picture it's whatever as she's leaving the country in January.)

Not looking for any advice, other than I should probably just avoid such childish games and drunk texting. My only takeaway I've learned this month is you gotta try to get your dick in there ASAP and let the rest fall in place, because if you let the brain take the drivers seat you'll just end up thinking yourself into circles with feelings and all that bullshit and doing something dumb.

On to the next one...

Edited by jayrock
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I agree. People who say it's better to "get to know someone" before sex are kidding themselves. For one thing, having sex right off the bat makes hanging out so much more relaxed and open. For another, if (when) it doesn't work out for whatever reason at least you got a bang out of it...

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  • 1 month later...

Make sure you have a rational enough reason.

 

Related to that, I had a girl who I met through mutual friends who went through a 3 year relationship breakup, while I was dating another girl, we hung out a bunch as friends, and once I broke up, she complained about how no one ever asked her out, went on terrible dates w/ dudes, but gave off strong "don't go there" vibes, so I didn't, and dated other girls. After a month and a half or so to this weekend + her birthday (where she was avoiding me, and I got somewhat drunk), she blocked me on all social media stuff and refuses to answer text messages, because I have no idea what the hell went on.

 

So yeah, rational thinking.

Edited by exhaust fumes
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^ that's what lube is for mayne

 

Real talk tho its rare for me to meet up a girl around that age who is not pressured to snag a dude and settle down.

 

Doesn't help that with Asians it seems that someone's marriage/dating life is everyone's business. Your parents, uncle, auntie, grandma, grandpa, cousins, family friends and the family dog are all asking "who are you seeing now?" Seeing my older cousins getting the treatment was super cringe worthy 

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  • 3 weeks later...

you should watch out for her boyfriend coming to fuck you up because all the sudden her conscience hit her and she told him without warning you first

This ^

It's pretty much always a grab for attention, and she'll use you to get a rise out of her boyfriend. If it hints don't work work she'll take it to the next level and tell him, which will usually send him after you to beat your ass so he feels better, and she'll feel like she's being take care of. This is a trainwreck pretty much every way you look at it.

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I'm really dense when it comes to understanding a girl's intentions. Either it just flies past me or I over analyse things. Advice on improving reading between the lines?

 

talk to more girls. i feel like you are asking for a pick-up artist book rec or something

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talk to more girls. i feel like you are asking for a pick-up artist book rec or something

 

Nah, but i get what you mean tho. It's kinda bad in a sense that a lot of the time they just seem really really boring/superficial and I can't seem to find common ground. Its that or I'm desensitized/don't give a shit cz of a few bad experiences (childish, I know)

 

Gotta get out of my room more

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this girl keeps staring at me whenever we go out or w/e

 

At first I didn't mind but now I've come to realize that when we're walking down the street she keeps staring at my face and not watching where she's walking nearly bumping into things.

 

Eating dinner and she rarely looks down at the plate or around the room or anything. Sometimes she puts on a shit eating grin.

 

at one point i felt she was just giving me 'the eyes' or whatever people call it but she does it after sex aswell.

 

Really getting annoyed now.

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