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Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column


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Ugh...not really a question just more venting. Started seeing this one girl, spending a bunch of time together. She's dope, super cute, fun, etc...all that. Then like 2 weeks ago she starts getting really about it, like..really bout it. Texting super lovey stuff all the time, wanting to spend most every minute together, etc...just really absorbed and into it. Thing is, I like her and wanna keep with it, I just want her to tone it back and honestly, provide more of a chase. It's become too easy, and we've only been seeing eachother for like a month.

It might sound shitty, but I'd be more into it if she actually just liked me less...like if I knew I had to work for it. If that makes sense. There really isn't an easy way to explain this to her, like "hey, I like you but I want you to like me...less". Shit, Ionno it probably sounds ridiculous, but makes sense in my head. And the thing is over the last few days as I've pulled back a bit to slow it down and hopefully create a bit of distance (which should bring back some of that desire/demand), she's just turned it on even harder...probably thinking the harder she goes to express how she feels to me the closer I'm gonna get (insert Morrissey video link here), when in fact it's the opposite.

Maybe I am looking for feedback I guess, I just don't think there's any way to do this without bumming her out, and still taking into consideration that I like hanging w her and don't wanna bounce on the situation yet.

interesting to see this here since a lot posts in this thread seem to come from people in her position.

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Ugh, in such a weird spot right now. Girl who I really really like had a random freakout a few weeks back and I haven't seen her in like 2 1/2 weeks. Now there is a girl from back home who likes me, but she's still in HS. I kinda like her, but no where near the level as girl one.

Idk man, idk....

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What kind of friend are you?

every friend needs that brash asshole.

looks bad as a friend but its for the better and if they're real friends everything will be fine at the end of the day.

p.s. don't get me wrong, im not endorsing it but i think its justified if there's a need for it. if theyre in denial and tune you out - then cool move along, they'll learn when they get burn.

Edited by tm
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Got my eyes set on another target, cute art major girl who lives down the hall. We started chatting today and she's super cool. Definitely gonna try talk to her more and get to know her better. She's also super fucking talented. She thought it was so cool that I used to do graffiti, will definitely take her with me next time I go tagging. Hope it develops into something good cuz I need a companion to watch all this Twilight Zone with (they just put every episode in HD on amazon instant).

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  • 3 weeks later...

I have no "competition", just dudes that are more desperate and have more available schedules than I do. I give a girl 2 chances to hang out, if it doesn't happen I move on. I haven't found a girl worth pursuing past 2 attempts, and almost always once I move on they call wanting to get together. There are thousands of cool girls in the world to hang out with.

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since this is the more ''serious'' dating thread of the two

how to deal with competition from other chumps for a girl?

fall back and keep on gaming other girls?

The more attention you give a girl who is sought after the less likely you are to win her over. Make her think you are better than her, have more on your mind than her, and are busier and have bigger things in your life than her. Give her just enough attention to keep you on her radar, and unless she actually likes another dude, this will probably get her attention.

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I give a girl 2 chances to hang out, if it doesn't happen I move on.

as far as dating goes this is real truth. as corny as "if its meant to be it will be" is, shit has some legitimacy to it. if shit doesnt happen, on to the next.

Edited by scientifick
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alright fellas give me some advice...

Just keep seizing any opportunities that come up to strike up another conversation (of decent length) with her. If the convo is going particularly well, all you have to do is say something like "You seem really cool, we should hang out sometime. Would you be up for......?" Just keep it friendly and the romance will develop naturally if the chemistry is there.

edit: oh and be prepared for her to say "I'd love to but I don't think my boyfriend would like it" If you haven't sent the wrong signals and kept it on a friendly tip, she may still want to hang out with you with or without an existing boyfriend.

Edited by Ammutseba
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alright fellas give me some advice. real cute girl works at a coffee shop on campus i frequent almost daily. i felt like there was some chemistry going on (discreet glances in my direction, personally making my order to give to me when there's a line etc) so I approached her as she was leaving work a few weeks ago and struck up a convo for a few blocks while she was walking to class. i guess it went pretty well because she smiles at me when when she sees me come in and will ask friendly questions (how's your weekeng going? etc) and says hi when i see her walking around campus. anyway, i'm feeling pretty confident i made a good impression so far, but i'm not really sure how to pose the offer to hang out since generally my contact with her is at the register while i'm paying and there are customers behind me. advice?

You man up and do it. Don't be surprised if she wants to hang out, or if she doesn't. Any of the factors above mean nothing and you won't know till you fucken do it!

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How long have you been contemplating? You may have missed your boat already since she sees so many customers daily.

If you feeling really confident and like the vibes, just ask her if she wants to grab dinner. Who has time to cook in college? And people are too rushed for lunch in between classes so it will not be in your favor.

Thurs/Friday night, take her out for dinner and just chill and feel some of that good vibe continue.

Edited by gettoasty
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