Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[haptronic]

if he tells me off .. im thinking ill just go after her more intense just to piss him off

haha...

in my former life as the other guy, this is almost exactly how it goes down. i swear when someone's husband contacted me asking me to cease contact all he was signaling was that the relationship had broken down enough that she was actually available, otherwise he would have been talking to her about it.

in that case i backed away for other reasons but always thought of that husband as disrespectful to women thinking the best course of action was to talk about the woman as if she was property, and it was somehow my decision for her to cheat on him.

[haptronic]

^bad karma dude

karma is not so much the issue as how sneaking around with someone who is involved will change how you see all future relationships/involvements.

after sitting in a car post steamy session with a taken woman, not making a sound while she calmly told her boyfriend that she was not involved with anyone else, phone conversations with partners were changed for a long time.

i can't say i regret anything i did, but it took a long time to regain even a part of my innocence.

[OCEANSECT]

^i've been there, and to an extent yeah i agree

i don't ever want to be the other guy again, its too messy, too weird, and the girl is always messed up somehow (obviously)

[OkayOkay]

I know this should be in the break up thread, but kinda crosses over...

I finally sacked up and did it last night. Got back from LA, had time to work it out in my mind, and just knew it had to happen. She came over after work, and honestly, I wasn't sure where her head was. Part of me thought she wanted to end it also, but when I told her it was over she lost it...I guess she thought we were gonna work it out. I thought I was gonna be able to hold it together also, but was tough. We both acknowledged we still love eachother immensely, she knew she had ruined a great thing. Spent some time slow talking it, I didn't wanna be a dick even with what she did, I know she's genuinely sorry...but still, I can't tolerate that shit either. I know if I gave in and we worked it out she'd do it again, she has some shit she needs to figure out about herself and I know I can't do that for her. Anyhow, she wanted to stay one last night, I did too so she stayed over. Just felt right. It sucks...I know she's sorry, I believe she didn't actually cheat, but that it got that close (and who knows, maybe she really did...I guess I'll never know) was enough that I couldn't let it slide, for me and for her...she has to know what's unacceptable, where the line is, and I hope she gets that now. She got up this morning to leave, woke me up. Held eachother for a sec, kissed her goodbye. Shit was rough, but had to be done. Not gonna lie, miss her like crazy. Then I think about what went down and it fades.

So, why here and not the break up thread...actually got asked out by 2 diff girls already today, plans to go hiking with another this Sun. She texted me already to confirm. I'm not even trying to move fast at all, I'd just be stoked to go on dates and meet people, even just to make friends...it's just coming at me fast. I think I need a few days to decompress, but it's super flattering. I'm just trying not to get overzealous and keep cool I guess. They're all pretty fucking hot tho, and I'm not even mad at it.

But forreal, I do gotta keep telling myself I'm doing it right by not calling her and forgiving.

[Lozinski]

^Okayokay, nicely played. You might get called out on the last night thing but I've been in the exact same situation and as much as I love to say I ended it cold turkey (and with a lot of anger), I would've probably wanted a 'last' night for some reason. Ended up sleeping with her friend a month later lololol.

I don't always agree with what you post but stick around man.

Worst Waywt is probably the most boring thread right now because of his stupid fucking 'UC chumps trend hopping Reebok Pump hypocrite' bullshit.

[jayrock]

Breakup sex then never call again imo

[boy better know]

Worst Waywt is probably the most boring thread right now because of his stupid fucking 'UC chumps trend hopping Reebok Pump hypocrite' bullshit.

And his shitty dating advice

This is why there aren't too many success stories in this thread

[okonomi]

I think it's all funny.

[lil brown brother]

people still mad about being called chumps i see

[Stacks]

So, why here and not the break up thread...actually got asked out by 2 diff girls already today, plans to go hiking with another this Sun. She texted me already to confirm. I'm not even trying to move fast at all, I'd just be stoked to go on dates and meet people, even just to make friends...it's just coming at me fast. I think I need a few days to decompress, but it's super flattering. I'm just trying not to get overzealous and keep cool I guess. They're all pretty fucking hot tho, and I'm not even mad at it.

careful on the rebound, def don't wanna bring ur baggage into it if u give any fucks about these new prospects... would start things out on the wrong foot. also if prospect is less awesome than old girl might make u think more about going back.

on the other hand, sex (with a new person).

[arem]

You know this thread has taken a crazy turn when people are criticizing Raj's advice.

[djrajio]

Successful people will always have haters. It comes w/ the responsibility.

[halomunkey]

And his shitty dating advice

This is why there aren't too many success stories in this thread

?_?

I read through a lot of the thread and always thought it was really helpful. Even if it did come off a little egotistical at times (I guess that comes with the responsibility too tho, right raj?)

I'm actually interested to what you think is "shitty" about his advice. Like, how would you do some of it differently?

Not necessarily asking for you to prove yourself, but its good to have more than one opinion.

help us chumps out

[StrangeLove]

still talking to the 32 yr old its so amazing! no bullshit say what we want and do what we want! she has a son too and hes the most well mannered in public child i have ever seen. not only that but he loves videogames! its good for me i just hope she looks at me the sameway

[djrajio]

still talking to the 32 yr old its so amazing! no bullshit say what we want and do what we want! she has a son too and hes the most well mannered in public child i have ever seen. not only that but he loves videogames! its good for me i just hope she looks at me the sameway

Oh brother.

[StrangeLove]

im not a spiteful person but id be miserable jsut to spite you one day

[Egpt]

Not sure if strangelove is for real or just a troll with a good sense of humor

[Lozinski]

Oh this is too good.. Hahahaha.

Trust me, with your age difference, the fact that she likes video games isn't going to be the deal maker.

[OkayOkay]

I think this is the last chapter...she came by last night to get her things. There was still a lot unsaid between us, and I think I mentioned that we're still into eachother and all, it just didn't feel like closure yet for either of us. I made the decision to load her things, she was frozen...and besides, I knew it was best for her anyway. She asked to come back in...fast forward to break up sex. She stayed the night. She thinks she just needs a little time to become herself and we can get back together, I can't wait, I told her that she knows where I'll be, but I can't be there for her while she works out whatever she needs to do. I actually told her I had a date on Sun, I think she might have needed to hear that for it to feel final...not sure. I feel ok now tho, I had this script in my mind of how I wanted things to go, and I got out everything I needed to. I actually feel ok about everything. Deleted her #, all contact info, etc. trying to not let me sabatage me, like I know I will.

[StrangeLove]

I think this belongs here...

http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails

"#OP

600 emails and still no reply, so I’m really thinking something might have happened… (´･ω･`)

And I really don’t think they’re anything that would displease her. They’re like this:

“I’m drinking jasmine tea right now, thinking about what to have for dinner.â€

Maybe they’re a bit too incidental? "

[halomunkey]

^somebody already made a thread

fake or not, really awesome read. Especially at part 5 X_X

[blm14]

Holy fuck you look white here.

am I the only one who thinks that if you 'shopped off the head and put on a chick's head it would totally work? Maybe it's something about how the hem of the sweater is sitting against his waist, the extra long sleeves, I dunno.

[BearCousin]

the turquoise?

[blm14]

O wait I think it's his torso-to-leg ratio

[djrajio]

Wow I feel like I'm in some weird bizarro world.

Went to Blacklist party last night and became friends w/ this girl who is trying to be the next Leah Dizon:

Ai Cherie.

http://ameblo.jp/ai-cherie/

http://aicherie.com/

Girl is straight up from Arcadia, LA and isn't Japanese at all.

Edited April 29, 2012 by djrajio

[StrangeLove]

the turquoise?

trill turqoise to be exact

[philosophiliac]

am I the only one who thinks that if you 'shopped off the head and put on a chick's head it would totally work? Maybe it's something about how the hem of the sweater is sitting against his waist, the extra long sleeves, I dunno.

yeah i see that...

[ROYALEFATALE]

yeah i see that...

yeah that's that 35 year old suburban mom shit, i bet you can cop that entire fit at DEB, Ross or TJ Maxx.

[jayrock]

Okay let's get this bitch back on track...

Had a little movie date on Saturday with this girl I've kinda been chillin with for awhile now. She is super cool, buys me weed and stuff, but I'm always too high to make any moves. This was fun though because it's like the first time we really got a chance to hang out one on one, as she's usually with her 4-5 roommates at her place when I'm over. I don't wanna pussy foot around too long for fear of that door of opportunity closing, but it's also kinda cool to just chill as friends before trying to rush in the sack. I'm just trying to build comfort right now i guess. Plus girls are really weird and they sometimes end up liking you more if you treat them like they have aids or whatever lol. Part of me doesn't wanna chance screwing up a good thing with the weed hookup, but most of me wants to get naked and make some bad decisions. I'll probably just roll casually with this one and see what happens, as I'm not too invested in either outcome.

If anyone has been in a similar situation I'm open to suggestions. Pretty sure I'm not getting friendzoned yet, but what the hell do I know...

And I know movies are terrible for dates, but we're both stoners and it was a decent way to kill a Saturday evening. We'll probably end up going to some of the same concerts this summer and I'm thinking that might be my best opportunity to transition this thing

Edit: we watched the movie at a theatre, which is important given my watching movies with pants on comment a few pages back

Edited April 30, 2012 by jayrock

[OkayOkay]

I've done more for myself in the last week being single than I did for myself in the last year with a girlfriend. It's crazy looking back how much time and energy I invested in her, and didn't look after myself really at all. Not that I don't miss part of her, or someone around, I just have a good feeling about this I think.