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Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column


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Im not necessarily in it to "toot it and boot it" i actually wouldn't mind getting to know the girl because you never know. I've never been able to just not give a fuck about a chick or anyone for that matter. Its just one of those things where you know its not going to go anywhere.

Maybe ill just write looking for intimate encounter on my forehead on some online dating shit.

Edited by dovo
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Then just start talking to her slowly about mundane shit don't sit too close every day until it's ok to just sit next to her tell her something funny eventually but don't ask her out the first time she laughs eventually ask if she wants to get coffee or whatever.

Not saying it'll work she'll either like you or she won't but it could happen as long as you don't jump the gun or take too long.

And I mean, don't be too nice.

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Guest HP Sauce

dovo dawg, sometimes a girl just wants you to grab and kiss her. i read that on a blog written by a girl.

just go up to her, look in her eyes, put your hand around her back and swing that bitch around and smack a great big kiss on those slutty lips. easy.

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dovo dawg, sometimes a girl just wants you to grab and kiss her. i read that on a blog written by a girl. just go up to her, look in her eyes, put your hand around her back and swing that bitch around and smack a great big kiss on those slutty lips. easy.

Then part the kiss, feel like a million bucks, and smile as you get slapped in front of everyone in your class

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shit I got this huge crush on this girl whos in a long distance relationship, we hangout so much, kinda too much ya know? we stay long nights at school and even slept over a couple times at school together. (seperate couch doe) she never talks about him and if she does she says somethin she doesn't like about him.... i had so many opportunities to make moves with this girl but im not that type of guy to do that with a girl wit a bf ya know? i wish i was. fuck this shit. should I just fuckin do somethin or keep doin my thing and be mr. nice guy.

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i mean u said u know her. like, do you know her well enough that she would tell you if she had the clap or like you know her like one time you had class with her ex's brother. i mean, i feel like if i was trying to get with a girl and i knew her it would be like i know her well enough that if it got to that point she would be like ok but i must warn you &c. &c.

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Agreed with Bropeck.

I think you can do what you can to be as cautious as possible, but at some point you have to understand and accept if you're gonna be on the track of fucking random girls and not settling into a life-long monogamous relationship, then you're gonna roll the dice every time. Just cause she tells you she's clean doesn't really mean she is. and unless you're gonna walk her to the doctor's office, spend every second with her while she waits for her report, and review her report before you proceed...then it's all gonna be a guess anyways. Obviously stay away from high risk behaviors, but the reality is that it's a very real possibility, and unfortunately...if you look at the statistics "possibility" isn't even the right word, "probability" is.

Be careful, be conscious, but be realistic.

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  • 3 weeks later...

fuuuccckkkk

think i'm catching feelings for this girl and i'm worried i might be rushing into things a little too fast. we met on new year's and hit it off right off the bat, making out and fooling around before we even exchanged names (haha, and after midnight fwiw). we started texting after that and have gone out like maybe 3-4 times since then. sex is good (albeit a bit rusty) and i am very comfortable around her as i feel like we're just both being ourselves and not putting on some kind of facade that happens frequently when dating.

last month, before we ever hooked up in the sack, i met up with her at a bar for one of her friend's birthdays. it was a fun time, just hanging out and celebrating a birthday in typical fashion. however, when taking a piss one of her guy friends sparked up a conversation with me saying "hey man, it's really great you and sally* are together. she's a really down-to-earth girl." this kind of took me back a bit because i had no idea  this dude even knew who i was, let alone that her and i were "together." we hooked up for the first time later that night so my feelings of apprehension went away for the time being. since then i've hung out with her a couple times and she continues to introduce me to her friends, but she has met very few people in my inner circle yet. for instance, last week we did a valentines dinner and a movie which went amazing, and i wanted to hang out with her again over the weekend. she wasn't feeling up to it on friday, but wanted me to come meet up with her sat night after her and her friends got out of a comedy show. i met up at the bar pretty late and was promptly introduced to about 5-6 of her girlfriends, one of whom i had already met previously.

sounds good, right? i don't know why i'm freaking out. girl has lots of friends and seems to be a social butterfly, which is loads better than being a needy person who needs to be in a relationship. i just want to spend more time with her without pushing her away or becoming a needy little bitch. but at the same time, we haven't even known each other for 2 full months yet and i think i need to take a step back and let the situation play out naturally. i would like to be in a more serious relationship with this girl but i learned long ago that you cannot enter into encounters with other people with expectations like that, because more often than not youre setting yourself up for failure. i guess the takeaway is that we're having sex, she gives me her 100% undivided attention when we're together, and she's introducing me to her friends. i guess i'll just have to play it cool no matter how much more emotional intimacy i'm craving. i was gonna call her later this week to see what's going on this weekend, but now i'm just always nervous and crap initiating anything. additionally she is going through some pretty serious life shit right now, new job, pending grad school app, moving into a new place this summer, etc. and i just know from my little stint with being unemployed that dating was the last thing on my mind during that period, so i don't want to overwhelm her at all.

god, i sound like such a little bitch. the dating game is so much harder than hooking up with random girls you don't care about. wish the master was hear to lend some advice, but getting this down in writing probably has at least some value for my mindset. the longest relationship i've ever previously been in was a summer during college, so this is all new territory for me. right now my gameplan is to lay low and hang out until she inevitably brings up the "exclusive" talk after a couple more dates. which i would be cool with, i just don't want to be the one to start down that road, i want her to. i'm overthinking this, but that's just human nature i guess. words of advice/wisdom are welcome.

*not her real name obv

inb4

Overall, just do your thing and don't make her a priority until she makes you her priority. Ball is in her court.

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sounds like you have it great

i feel you on that intimacy craving shit. i'm seeing some people but nothing serious and i just wanna be texting through the day with someone(s), or sleeping with ppl on the reg even though i hate that shit when i'm in a LTR. i think it happens to guys more often because girls tend to share more affection and intimacy with their girlfriends. good motivation to step it up with my bros i guess, or make more female friends

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fuuuccckkkk

think i'm catching feelings for this girl and i'm worried i might be rushing into things a little too fast. we met on new year's and hit it off ..

If she's introducing you to friends and stuff, she definitely likes you a lot and is looking for more than just hooking up. I would also give it a little while longer before dropping the exclusive talk, even though I'm 100% positive you are mutually exclusive already. This is because you still want to be a challenge for her. If you tell her that you're completely invested in her, her interest level in you might drop.

As much as I hate using terms like that that come out of dating books, it's very true for the first couple months of a "relationship". I'm in a similar situation myself.

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I too am going through a similar situation to the one above...except that we've already had the exclusivity talk as it was somewhat forced upon us...

gaaaah

we were at this party, out of sorts and holding hands, and this one girl comes up and asks if we're together. we both pause and eek out a "yea"

we talked about it later that night and the next morning and we both admit that neither of us have been seeing anyone else/talk of exclusivity/boyfriend girlfriend blah blah

I like my Sally a lot, we've been sleeping together for the past two months, had Valentine's together and have a great time in each others presence, but I feel that there is something missing from the relationship...

we see each a few times a week (usually on the weekends) but I'm going through heavy life shit as well post collegiate shit and neither of us know where we are going to be come June

I know I can be honest and tell her these things - taking a step back/taking it slow, whatever that means - but I'm afraid it'll hurt her feelings and damage what we have going on...

it's not that I don't want her, and that I want to see other people, it's that I just can't give my full attention to her at this time...

help

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^ Damn man, me too. I just got out of a 1.5 year relationship with someone I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with. I ended things with her a few months ago (after a bunch of shit happened), and started seeing this girl. She's such a great person, but something seems to be missing there. Maybe I jumped into things with her too soon after my breakup, but I really don't know. I don't feel the need to go out with other girls or anything, so it's definitely not that...

It might be my view on things now. After putting so much into a relationship and basically making it my life, then having it crash down on my head. After that, maybe I just don't have the will to put in as much effort into this relationship, and that's probably why I'm not getting as much out of it...

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Jesus you guys. If you want these girls act like it. If they're introducing you to friends (especially guy friends) and you're spending Valentine's together, they're into you. Period. The thing that will blow it for you is acting like an indecicive little boy. Act like you have a pair of balls and persue the relationship you want, don't treat it like it's a delicate piece of china that will shatter if you look at it too long.

On the other hand, if you don't really feel like you connect with a girl, don't feel guilty about it. Let her go, there will be others. You can't just keep a woman on standby because you can't face the prospect of not having anyone for a while. If you feel that insecure you have bigger problems to work on than finding a girlfriend.

And don't let past failed relationships ruin potential new ones. Getting your heart broken is an unavoidable part of life, but you can't let your fears control you. People get hurt, then they get over it and move on to better things. Learn from your experiences and be wiser instead of wallowing in what happened or what might happen next time.

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So, i've been talking to this lady since around 08-09 (I was still in highschool then). We befriended eachother through similar music networks online. We have so much in common musically that it's unreal. We both share the same passion, its something we consistently vibe off. Whenever we speak its really natural and no type of like wall. Whats really unreal is that we even come from the same religious upbringing and joke around about past experiences within the church and stuff. We speak about everything really. Honestly she's one of the most beautiful women i've ever spoken to mentally and physically. At this point you all know im crushing on her HARD AS HELL.

I remember during some of our conversations she told me that she would date me, but she doesn't date men younger than her. Im 20, she's 23. When she told me this 18 at the time (joke?). Even every once in awhile we would sort of argue and she would randomly call me out on dumb shit and throw it in my face. Despite stuff like that, I always bounce off it and come back and get over it quick. I've never done this with a lady before. Usually I call quits on that stuff and move on. For some odd reason I tolerate it with her.

So, last summer I was supposed to meet up with her at a festival but she couldnt make it. So I was like okay its cool. Im not sure if she's coming to the same festival this year. Im honestly about to take the initiative and visit her when I get opportunity. I feel obligated, I really think something could pop off.

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yea man, agreed with Fycus. Girls that have some prerequisite about the circumstances of their partner really aren't worth investing too deeply into, especially when those hurdles have little to do with you as a person and what you bring to the table. My guess is she's interested, but not looking for anything super committed quite yet. Not saying to give up at all, she could definitely figure it out and realize that it's not that important...but like said above, tread lightly. A 3 year age difference is stupid, I don't even see the point she's trying to make with that, unless she wants you to be over 21 so you can go to bars with her or something? If something like that is the case then I'd cut on it...it's a pretty petty / insignificant requirement.

And like stated above, it might feel like this one is the perfect one...but there are so many more options in the world, and you'll be surprised how fast you click with someone that matches you even better. I thought my ex-wife was everything I ever wanted and fit me perfectly, and honestly never thought I'd find someone that matched her / what we had...but I happened to meet my current GF literally a few months after we split and she's worlds beyond what my ex was to me. Either this one or the next, you will find someone you connect with.

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A 3 year age difference is stupid, I don't even see the point she's trying to make with that, unless she wants you to be over 21 so you can go to bars with her or something? If something like that is the case then I'd cut on it...it's a pretty petty / insignificant requirement.

yeah, whenever id speak to her she would sort of throw in this joke about how I know alot about certain things being my age. Im like does it matter? But yeah ill definitely keep my options open (MANY OPTIONS) being that i've never really been in an official "relationship". I remember I met up with a friend in NYC this past summer and told this lady about it. She was getting a bit jealous, i found that kind of funny. Whats crazy is she's been through the area where I live and i offered to meet up. But I guess she was doing family business. During that time I was more less on the "fuck it" mode.

Edited by AYIYI
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