Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[Quiver]

can people change? i kinda always believed in that saying a tiger never changes their stripes....unless maybe they hit rock bottom

[ROYALEFATALE]

It's painfully obvious what she's trying to do here. She likes you, that much is clear, but she's either stringing you along until someone better comes along or she is more interested in someone else that might already be taken/not interested in her at present. She doesn't want to commit to officially being in an relationship with you so that, when she has to bail, it'll be easy to break it off with you and not feel guilty about it. (Always a cake and eat it concept) My advice: Do what you've been doing but don't let her get between you and other potential beezys. If she gets mad, it's too fucking bad for her. Because, in her own words, you two are "just friends"

well said, i'm still in somewhat of a similar situation, but more recently i stopped giving a fuck, she pulled the 'let's just be friends' which basically was the opening of the bz floodgates for me

[jsn]

Dating the ex of a close friend. Yes or no?

[Whodinihimself]

Dating the ex of a close friend. Yes or no?

bros before hoes.

[RandR]

can people change? i kinda always believed in that saying a tiger never changes their stripes....unless maybe they hit rock bottom

people change all the time, it's just that we are generally the only frame of reference we have for our own change so it's hard to tell. People that say "people don't change", are right about themselves in that stupidity is constant and they are fucking stupid.

Jsn, it depends. if you are falling in love, what you should do is talk to your friend about it and say "hey, I'm interested in dating the shit out of your ex. I'm not just trying to get my balls deep in her back court like Nadal, I'm trying to take her out to shrimpfest at Red Lobster(that's pretty serious)".

If your friend is okay with it and the ex is okay with it, then it should be fine. Friendship is a great thing and well worth protecting but hell, if you are in love with the girl, then you are in love with the girl. That changes things. If you just want to fuck her then bros before hos, unless he really doesn't care.

[lak]

Okay so I've got this situation with a girl who I've known on friendly terms for like 4 years. We've been flirty for a while, and she clearly wants to get down and I'm game, but she's hesitant for some reason. I've come to the conclusion that this is because she's much more interested in the idea of me (or the idea of the me she's projected onto me) than actually fucking and being disappointed by the fact I don't live up to her built up notions.

Shit is getting tired and I'm not interested in dating her in any capacity. My question is do I just ignore her and get on with life, or do I issue her some kind of ultimatum (Larry David styles) or is there an option c)?

[Whodinihimself]

people change all the time, it's just that we are generally the only frame of reference we have for our own change so it's hard to tell. People that say "people don't change", are right about themselves in that stupidity is constant and they are fucking stupid.

Jsn, it depends. if you are falling in love, what you should do is talk to your friend about it and say "hey, I'm interested in dating the shit out of your ex. I'm not just trying to get my balls deep in her back court like Nadal, I'm trying to take her out to shrimpfest at Red Lobster(that's pretty serious)".

If your friend is okay with it and the ex is okay with it, then it should be fine. Friendship is a great thing and well worth protecting but hell, if you are in love with the girl, then you are in love with the girl. That changes things. If you just want to fuck her then bros before hos, unless he really doesn't care.

^^^ I've never dated a friends ex and I don't think I ever would, regardless of any feelings I might have developed for his (ex)girlfriend. But I imagine that it really depends on how serious their relationship was prior to breaking up and how the actual breakup went. If their relationship was short-lived and not very serious and their breakup was civilized/mutual, then you should have the green light. Give it some time and just make sure everything is brought out into the open beforehand. Don't rush into this....there are plenty of birds out there....if, after some time, your interest hasn't waned then go for it.....there's no point in rushing in and risking a good friend because you mistakenly thought it was love.

Okay so I've got this situation with a girl who I've known on friendly terms for like 4 years. We've been flirty for a while, and she clearly wants to get down and I'm game, but she's hesitant for some reason. I've come to the conclusion that this is because she's much more interested in the idea of me (or the idea of the me she's projected onto me) than actually fucking and being disappointed by the fact I don't live up to her built up notions.

Shit is getting tired and I'm not interested in dating her in any capacity. My question is do I just ignore her and get on with life, or do I issue her some kind of ultimatum (Larry David styles) or is there an option c)?

Do you get the impression she's just DTF or that she wants something more from you? If she isn't looking for a relationship then you might just need to step it up a bit and get closer. On the other hand, she might only be DTF and think that you want to be in a relationship with her and that could be holding her back. Maybe your intentions need to be brought to the surface so that their isn't any misunderstandings.

.

[lak]

I think she knows I'm DTF, and she has mentioned some relationship bs in passing, but I get the feeling its along the lines of an excuse.

Just gonna be straight up I guess.

[arem]

If she wanted to do you, and has had the opportunity but hasn't done it, then she isn't going to, at least not anytime soon. She wants your time and attention, not your dick. Move on and maybe the lack of attention will spur her into action, but don't hold your breath.

[lak]

^That is logical but not what is going on in this situation I don't think. It's complicated and I think she's just fucking insane.

Moving on, I just met a fine ass chick in the library of all places. Can we get some dating thread success stories here? Gonna try to make this one of them.

[blah trite]

Ok so I broke up with my gf of 3 years about a week ago and I'm trying to get my head straight so I'm trying to work out a way to ask this other girl out. The only time I see her is at church and she's surrounded by lesser dudes. Don't want to be the guy asking her out on a date at church. Sister probably has her cell number. Am I being stupid about this?

[RandR]

Ok so I broke up with my gf of 3 years about a week ago and I'm trying to get my head straight so I'm trying to work out a way to ask this other girl out. The only time I see her is at church and she's surrounded by lesser dudes. Don't want to be the guy asking her out on a date at church. Sister probably has her cell number. Am I being stupid about this?

just walk up to her at church and ask her out. The only difference between asking a girl out at church and asking a girl out anywhere else is the music is generally worse at church, and the wine sucks.

Don't go through your sister - acquiring a girl's number without getting it from the girl directly is some cowardly shit.

[blah trite]

just walk up to her at church and ask her out. The only difference between asking a girl out at church and asking a girl out anywhere else is the music is generally worse at church, and the wine sucks.

Don't go through your sister - acquiring a girl's number without getting it from the girl directly is some cowardly shit.

I guess I knew that and was looking for the easy route. Thanks

[superhero]

I like RandR's advice, a poor man's version of DJRAJIO

[dranoelsy]

djRandRajio

[herbology]

there's a silent girl in one of my classes who i haven't said a word to but i feel like we've made sustained eye contact times. if not it could be attributed to the fact that i show up to that class high without anyone noticing. how to approach? never had to deal with this situation before. just hope it ain't no crouching tiger, hidden dragon shit.

[RandR]

there's a silent girl in one of my classes who i haven't said a word to but i feel like we've made sustained eye contact times. if not it could be attributed to the fact that i show up to that class high without anyone noticing. how to approach? never had to deal with this situation before. just hope it ain't no crouching tiger, hidden dragon shit.

it's just like with any other girl - just walk up and say hello. There is no better introduction than hello, to be honest.

"Hi, my name is _____. I just wanted to come say hi, since I see you every day in class and you seem pretty chill."

Regardless of the secondary(girl is fly) and tertiary issues(weed), the primary problem is one that every guy in college has faced - it's just you and this girl, and there's nothing keeping you from making contact except fear.

I mean, if she isn't interested...dude you already have weed so that's like half the battle to entering the "whatever I don't give a fuck" phase. So what is there to be afraid of?

[munkyballz]

a fwb told me (almost cried too) that she's catching feelings

time to go?

if you're not feeling the same, yeah. time to gtfo before the drama curtains open.

[MharcI]

I posted this in random thoughts, but I guess I could post it here, plus ill add more on to this post

I knew it was a bad idea to ask, though I did anyway.

Dreaded "how many guys before me" question...

I had a feeling she had a bit of history, but what can you do. I don't like the number, especially for her age, 20. She says obviously none of those people matter anymore, and she was a much different person then.

I really do love her a lot, can see us being together for a long, long time, but ever since she told me it's been constantly on my mind.

Have I doomed this relationship by asking? Or am I just overreacting and should move on, everyone does things...

It will only retract from the discussion if I don't say the amount, i'm #12.

I really feel like an idiot for asking, I love this girl so much, and she realy is head over heels in love with me it seems, and she tells me all these wonderful things, like really great things, and she cares about me, she really does.

Basically she is fucking wonderful in every sense, but I think about the fact that shes been with other guys so much now it kills me, it really does I hate it, and I wish it would stop, but I cant stop thinking about it.

It is invading every part of my psyche, I see a guy post on her facebook, oh she fucked him, i'm with her and she runs into someone she knows, she fucked him, it goes on and on and on.

I hardly think she thinks about it, its totally my problem, I never brought it up to her again after I asked her.

Im contemplating talking to her about it, but I dont even know why, and something tells me thats not a good idea. This shit is seriously driving me crazy, fucking poisonous question. I wish id never asked.

I love her a lot, and really want to be with her...but I feel like something changed, and I cant really explain it but it seeps itself into every fucking aspect of the relationship. Like shell say something, and ill take it a certain way because I know shes been with these other guys, versus if I didnt know I would take what she said differently.

Its just like im filled with this weird constant paranoia, don't even know.

[Knugget]

I posted this in random thoughts, but I guess I \know.

You opened pandora's box and you gotta deal with the consequences. My advice is to try and put that constant thought out of your head and realize that she's IS with you at the moment. Plus nobody wants someone who isn't wanted.

[arem]

Mharci - Don't be a bitch. If you love her it doesn't matter who she was with before, all that counts is she's with you now.

And don't ever ask that question of a woman, the answer will never be right. Especially as you get older.

[shufon]

Mharci, my friend recently found out his girl was with nearly 50 guys before him, and she's only 21. Totally fucked up. You gotta remember that it could be a LOT worse.

[superhero]

you can't act all insecure and shit about it or else its gonna push her away. you're the top dog right now dude, so just keep doing the things that you did to make her in love with you in the first place - don't change that.

how long have you been with her anyway?

[MharcI]

you can't act all insecure and shit about it or else its gonna push her away. you're the top dog right now dude, so just keep doing the things that you did to make her in love with you in the first place - don't change that.

how long have you been with her anyway?

When I asked her like half a year, it's been around 2 months since then.

[tyang]

this thread needs less advice and more insults

[RandR]

I posted this in random thoughts, but I guess I could post it here, plus ill add more on to this post

I knew it was a bad idea to ask, though I did anyway.

Dreaded "how many guys before me" question...

.

Dude, two questions:

1)how old are you?

2)are you a fucking idiot?

1)If you are 17 years old then sure it makes sense that your self esteem is so goddamn pathetic it's actually painful for me to read this shit. You're like halfway to starting a poor man's Linkin Park, and that's fine because your angsty pseudo rap will be channeled into something that makes girls wear lots of eyeliner and probably add some portishead to their ipod, and I find that sexy.

2)If you are an idiot then all this makes sense too. Of course you should have been the one to plant your flag in her vagina first, because that completely makes a difference in your relationship with her. The thought that another man even LOOKED at her is just, you know, staggering! I mean, a chill, good looking girl having sex with someone else other than you? GET THE FUCK OUT THAT NEVER HAPPENS YOU ARE GOD'S MOST WONDEROUS CREATION

If you are neither then for Christ's fucking sake, grow some balls, start acting like a fucking adult, and realize that your main problem is your fat teenage girl in SOCAL level of self esteem that only allows you to measure your own worth by someone else's perceived value.

Last but not least: 12 dudes? So fucking what? By the time I was 21 I'd had sex with like 40 girls or something. The thing you seem to not care about is that she's with you now and all that means is you are better than at least 11 other guys - in a total package way, which is a pretty nice thing to know. A person's body is a throwaway, a person's heart is not. You've got her heart and you should recognize how amazing that is.

Stop listening to the get up kids, and listen to a band like off with their heads. I recommend the song, "fuck you necktie t-shirt wearing motherfucker".

[DaBestSpoona]

I posted this in random thoughts, but I guess I could post it here, plus ill add more on to this post

I knew it was a bad idea to ask, though I did anyway.

Dreaded "how many guys before me" question...

I had a feeling she had a bit of history, but what can you do. I don't like the number, especially for her age, 20. She says obviously none of those people matter anymore, and she was a much different person then.

I really do love her a lot, can see us being together for a long, long time, but ever since she told me it's been constantly on my mind.

Have I doomed this relationship by asking? Or am I just overreacting and should move on, everyone does things...

It will only retract from the discussion if I don't say the amount, i'm #12.

I really feel like an idiot for asking, I love this girl so much, and she realy is head over heels in love with me it seems, and she tells me all these wonderful things, like really great things, and she cares about me, she really does.

Basically she is fucking wonderful in every sense, but I think about the fact that shes been with other guys so much now it kills me, it really does I hate it, and I wish it would stop, but I cant stop thinking about it.

It is invading every part of my psyche, I see a guy post on her facebook, oh she fucked him, i'm with her and she runs into someone she knows, she fucked him, it goes on and on and on.

I hardly think she thinks about it, its totally my problem, I never brought it up to her again after I asked her.

Im contemplating talking to her about it, but I dont even know why, and something tells me thats not a good idea. This shit is seriously driving me crazy, fucking poisonous question. I wish id never asked.

I love her a lot, and really want to be with her...but I feel like something changed, and I cant really explain it but it seeps itself into every fucking aspect of the relationship. Like shell say something, and ill take it a certain way because I know shes been with these other guys, versus if I didnt know I would take what she said differently.

Its just like im filled with this weird constant paranoia, don't even know.

You sound like the type of guy who wont marry a girl or have a serious relationship with a girl who let u do anal. 12 is nothing. Women have sex, that is natural because its easy for them to get laid. Honestly only 12? She's probably not that attractive then.

[american_hearts]

Chasing Amy 'n shit

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

this thread needs less advice and more insults

Dude, two questions:

1)how old are you?

2)are you a fucking idiot?

1)If you are 17 years old then sure it makes sense that your self esteem is so goddamn pathetic it's actually painful for me to read this shit. You're like halfway to starting a poor man's Linkin Park, and that's fine because your angsty pseudo rap will be channeled into something that makes girls wear lots of eyeliner and probably add some portishead to their ipod, and I find that sexy.

2)If you are an idiot then all this makes sense too. Of course you should have been the one to plant your flag in her vagina first, because that completely makes a difference in your relationship with her. The thought that another man even LOOKED at her is just, you know, staggering! I mean, a chill, good looking girl having sex with someone else other than you? GET THE FUCK OUT THAT NEVER HAPPENS YOU ARE GOD'S MOST WONDEROUS CREATION

If you are neither then for Christ's fucking sake, grow some balls, start acting like a fucking adult, and realize that your main problem is your fat teenage girl in SOCAL level of self esteem that only allows you to measure your own worth by someone else's perceived value.

Last but not least: 12 dudes? So fucking what? By the time I was 21 I'd had sex with like 40 girls or something. The thing you seem to not care about is that she's with you now and all that means is you are better than at least 11 other guys - in a total package way, which is a pretty nice thing to know. A person's body is a throwaway, a person's heart is not. You've got her heart and you should recognize how amazing that is.

Stop listening to the get up kids, and listen to a band like off with their heads. I recommend the song, "fuck you necktie t-shirt wearing motherfucker".

::popcorn.gif::

[Phyziks]

Honestly, it doesn't even matter. Take pride in the fact that you are now the one who is fucking her.