Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[raddy]

What confuses me about Japan is that although men become increasingly diminutive, it's not like women are really gaining status/power much in their place.

[djrajio]

What confuses me about Japan is that although men become increasingly diminutive, it's not like women are really gaining status/power much in their place.

Good question.

I think this is because most women don't want to obtain high status/power. For a majority of women, they just want to get married, have children, and become a housewife.

I personally don't see anything wrong with this. And in Japanese society its seen as a virtue to be a housewife. Sometime society questions a woman who is too ambitious. An unmarried 30+ career woman often has a stigma that there is something wrong with her.

[mrip]

[Fuuma]

I think the main underlying problem is that there is a entire generation of Japanese men that haven't learned how to become real men and embrace their masculinity. I think its largely due to the fact that most Japanese fathers work constantly, so the children don't have a strong father figure to teach them the ropes. Coupled with a lethargic economy (where aggressiveness is not seen as a virtue) and a social structure that is more inclined to let things be than take preventive actions, you foster a society that allows subcultures like these to exist.

It's fucking pathetic if you ask me.

There's a long walk between lacking a father and being a pillow-fucker though. I don't know enough about the sociological aspects of Japanese culture but there is something else.

[djrajio]

Well obviously the otaku-pillow fucker guy is an extreme case.

I'm talking about general society.

[Fuuma]

Well obviously the otaku-pillow fucker guy is an extreme case.

I'm talking about general society.

Oh ok! But would you say more castrated than North Americans?

[broneck]

I've never really read much of this thread before today but here's the reality:

The pillowfuckers are less pathetic than 90% of the people who ask questions here.

[Fuuma]

I've never really read much of this thread before today but here's the reality:

The pillowfuckers are less pathetic than 90% of the people who ask questions here.

Who says 90% of the people here aren't pillowfuckers? I know I enjoy a rump with my nice, velvety pillows from time to time, especially when I put lipstick on them.

[broneck]

It's true. The same 90% I'd wager.

Here's your dating advice:

TROhlThs9qY

[Kev07]

so besides indifference, the next best advice is to start fucking a pillow

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

so besides actually making women want you, the next best advice is to start fucking a pillow

fixed for you, chump.

[HBlack]

so i've been chilling with this girl a bit, and she's into me and it's going fine and everything, but it's sorta looking like it's heading towards a relationship and i don't want that. we haven't hooked up at all or anything, but its obvious she likes me, we spent several hours in my room just talking the other night (didn't even bother trying anything was too tired/sick), have semi solid plans to see a movie soon (she suggested)...

basically, any tips on making this casual and avoiding her getting mad if i hook up with someone else? (/not 'leading her on' or whatever)

[Whodinihimself]

^^^ Don't discuss a relationship with her....keep things light and flirt as much as possible. If she presses the subject, let her know that you're attracted/in to her, but tell her that you're not really looking to get into a serious relationship right now. You're too busy with work/school/whatever to be able to give 100% to a committed relationship. Three possible outcomes: 1) She's set on looking for a boyfriend and takes this as an easy letdown and moves onto focusing on other guys. 2) She's ok with this and you continue to seeing each other casually. She may hope that this eventually turns into something more but keeps her options wide open. 3) She's only looking for a casual relationship too and is relieved that you won't become clingy...... It really depends on the kind of girl she is. It sounds like Option #3 is what you want to happen...but only time will tell. Just be sure to never mention that you just "want to be friends"...don't even utter the word...she might actually take you up on that. If you're just looking to hook-up, make sure you step your flirting up...in a suggestive way....when the moments present themselves.

[Fuuma]

So, I've met this girl over Halloween, she's tall, has great hair that is so perfect it looks like a wig, has huge boobs that looks like she put grapefruits in a bra and wore a ton of makeup and a very sexy maid costume. Her name is Pete and she has great movie culture as she kept making tons of references to the crying game and farewell my concubine. I totally used that social distinction thing and she gave me a BJ, should I pursue this further??

[evisu 2000]

this broad wanted to kick it on halloween but i said fuck it i gotta watch the phillies game knamean

[phen3N]

was it worth it?

[evisu 2000]

no i passed out and missed half the game

or maybe, yeah

[haploid]

Her name is Pete

Is that an abbreviation of something more feminine or does she straight up have a dude's name?

[DJ_Flame]

I think Pete gave me a bj last month.

[Fuuma]

Is that an abbreviation of something more feminine or does she straight up have a dude's name?

What are you trying to imply here????!!!!!! Damn you're sharp, I didn't quite catch on to it but I knew there was something wrong with the name. Anyone can explain this discrepancy?

[djrajio]

Some good tips for you chumps from another forum:

Most veterans probably know these things, but they bear repeating. Some of these are from an old AskMen list, but I threw in a few of my own. Add to the list if you have any.

10. "I'll call you Friday".

...or any day for that matter. Telling her when you are going to call her does two things: it takes all the mystery out of the interaction, which women need, and it precludes HER from calling you because she is waiting for your call and she wont want to look desperate. Better to just say you'll talk to her soon.

9. "How many guys have you had?"

I don't even need to explain this, but never, ever, ever, ask this question for any reason, unless you happen to be a doctor conducting a sexual health exam. Trust me, you don't wanna know and it's not gonna make you feel better if you DO know.

8. Anything negative about her guy friends.

It makes you look insecure, needy, or controlling; even if you are right. If she is directly asking you for advice about a problem, that's one thing, but dont ever offer your opinion of her male pals. Even if they are more than pals, prodding about them or dissing them is only going to drive her further into their arms.

7. Anything that hints at your "future"

Guys make this mistake early in dating. They find out things they have in common with her, and say "oh wow I love that too. We should do it sometime!!" This sounds good in theory, but it takes the challenge out of it for her. If you are only on the third date and you already have the next 5 dates suggested and penciled in, she knows she has you and the chase is over. Unfortunately so is your frame with her. Better to wait and spontaneously call her to go do that thing you both like at a later time.

6. Where your money is going.

She might have a general idea of what you make or know the value of certain bills, but unless you are married your money is NOT her business!! She doesn't need to know the bank hammered you with three overdraft fees this week because of your accounting error. She doesn't need to know how much you spent at your friend's birthday party, or how much you are making from your latest investment.

5. How many chicks YOU have slept with.

Never, ever, ever, under pain of death, tell a woman this information. Nothing good will ever come out of it, trust me. She will use it against you at a later date, whether the number be 2 or 92. Make up something outrageous like "oh, I'm nigh on 500. I was going to give you a t-shirt but you're only 498."

4. "Can I take you out sometime?"

Dont be a vag. Just say 'we should hang out sometime. Whats your number..'

Same goes for the first kiss. Men don't ask, they do it.

3. "So what do you wanna do?"

She's wants YOU to have a plan, stan. So have one. Say "I was thinking we could ________". If she doesn't like it, counter offer. If she still doesn't like it, go out with someone else and quit calling her.

2. Your fears and insecurities.

We all have fears and stuff we just arent secure with. This stuff is for your best friend and your mom, not your girlfriend. You need to be her rock, not her willow branch. Once you start telling her your personal insecurities and emotional fears, the beginning of the end has come. She may not leave you tomorrow, or even in a month, but this is like opening Pandora's box. The more you tell her, the more of a comfort-security bond you will feel with her, and the more you will be likely to spill further insecurities. Once she has a boyfriend who has disclosed all this, you cease to be the man and become the weakling she is looking for a reason to leave. I know, it sucks and it isnt fair. But your girlfriend is not your therapist. You have to talk about this stuff with someone else.

1. "Sooo, what are we?"

NEVER ask for exclusivity or fish for her feelings on the issue. If you have been dating for a good while (at least a dozen dates) and you still arent certain of where you two stand, it may be time to re-evaluate your interest in her or accept the reality of her interest deficit. If a woman is truly interested in you she will be the one to bring up the exclusive talk, in one way or another. It may not be direct, but if you listen to the cues you'll know.

[ojjairus]

edited for the masses.

[TTM]

just put that stuff on the first post and lock the thread

[djrajio]

11. If you tease a girl, don't add just kidding shortly after. It just makes you seem like a wuss, and displays your lack of skill of verbally communicating. Wait for her response and tease her again for taking you seriously if she does.

Huh????????

I still don't think you are in a position to offer advice in this thread.

[ojjairus]

whats to not get....

[djrajio]

You're immaturity comes off so easily from your posts.

It's fine to say "just kidding" or whatever.

It's not what you say, its how you say it.

[broneck]

11. If you tease a girl, don't add just kidding shortly after. It just makes you seem like a wuss, and displays your lack of skill of verbally communicating. Wait for her response and tease her again for taking you seriously if she does.

You've literally just said "If you are so socially incompetent that you make playful teasing seem like cruel taunting, belittle the shit out of the girl's intelligence just to be sure she knows you're a dick as well."

That whole "girls love assholes" thing doesn't always hold true you retard.

[AstroWolf]

If you think about some of the interactions described here actually playing out in real life, its pretty fucking funny/depressing.

[broneck]

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how ojirairurausu's scenario actually plays out. It's like he read that players handbook about "negging" a target and took it way too seriously.

"Hey, you're a ginger, I hear you guys have no soul."

"Excuse me?"

"Hahaa, you know, Gingers! It's a joke you fucking retard!"

*walks away.

*jerks off at end of the night, as per usual.

[AstroWolf]

If your uncomfortable with yourself, nothing will save you except the possibility that the girl your fishing hates herself as much as you do.

Good luck with that.