Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[djrajio]

I actually don't prescribe to the notion that masculinity has to fit a certain stereotype/image. A man can be masculine in skinny clothing. But yes, if your jacket/jeans are so slim that you can't properly move or walk or you have trouble doing basic human tasks than, yes, you have a problem.

[arem]

You definitely don't have to fit any specific image to act like a man. But you have to be able to function as a man to act like one. This goes for your emotional, mental, and physical beings.

[Bigyen]

¥¥¥*You were born alone, and are going to die alone. You are always alone. Don't look to outside elements (women, love, etc) for validation or completion. ¥¥¥

[djrajio]

¥¥¥*You were born alone, and are going to die alone. You are always alone. Don't look to outside elements (women, love, etc) for validation or completion. ¥¥¥

Thanks captain obvious.

[slanguage]

1.You were born alone False

,

2and are going to die alone. possibly

3You are always alone. false

Don't look to outside elements (women, love, etc) for validation or completion. I agree.

think about it

[djrajio]

Someone sent this to me and I thought it was relevant for this thread:

I get a phone call from an ex-girlfriend that I'm still close with. We still

hook-up, but I value her more as someone who I can talk to now. I think that

may change when I stop travelling and I'm around more. For some reason,

she's an anomaly who is very self aware of her tendencies. That is, as

opposed to most girls I meet, who only offer useless socially conditioned

rhetoric, whenever you ask them about male/female interaction.

Over the course of the conversation, the topic of dating comes up. I ask,

"What does it mean when you meet up with a guy, have a great time, maybe

even kiss, but then when he calls you don't go out with him? Like you make

up excuses and don't return his calls."

She replies, "Well there's this guy, Chris, who I met the other night. I

really liked him. I offered him my number. He called me the other night, and

asked me to meet up. I told him 'You know what, I think I actually will. Let

me call you back.' I really wanted to meet up. For some reason I never did

though. The thing is, that I can feel the emotion that I felt when I gave

him my number, at the time that we're talking on the phone. But the second

we hang up, poof, it's gone. Also, I actually have scheduling issues. It's

not like this is someone who I'm already friends with, who I'd give priority

to. This is some new person that I barely know. If he happens to catch me at

the right time, I'd go out with him. But I won't take the time or go out of

my way to return his calls. I don't call guys."

I reply, "So theoretically, you're sufficiently attracted to this guy that

under different circumstances you could have wound up sleeping with him. Or

even gotten into a five year relationship, for all you know. But just

because of ill luck in timing and because he actually believed that you'd

call him back, now you'll never see him again. Is this weird to you at all?"

She replies, "Nope. It makes perfect sense. I don't care either way, because

I have guys available to me at all times so it's my last priority. That guy

was cool and I thought he was cute, and maybe I'll see him again later or

something. I also just give out my number to be social most of the time. It

doesn't mean I have any intentions at all."

I reply, "He could use that opportunity to continue the interaction to

generate attraction down the line, no?"

She replies, "It's happened before. Really I just don't want to meet new

guys. I like being social when I'm out. But if I'm attracted to a guy, I'll

probably flake on him. I've already slept with enough guys (she's nineteen

years old, and has been with five guys), I don't want to sleep with anymore

right now. When I was with my two friends hanging out at these guys' house,

we made each other promise not to let each other do anything because the

guys were cute."

I reply, "OK that makes sense. What if he's really good looking? Does that

make a difference? Also, do you think that when he calls it's better for him

to chat you for a while, so you can be reminded of why you gave him your

number in the first place? Or should he just call and immediately try to

make plans? Also, do you think it's better to call you out on your bull

in a funny way if you flake?"

She answers, "Looks means nothing when it comes to that stuff. I know within

seconds if I could or couldn't sleep with a guy. I knew within seconds that

we'd have sex, the night that we met."

I reply, "Are you serious? I don't think that my looks are on a level that

you'd want to sleep with me the second you saw me."

She replies, "True. But it's in your energy. The way you come across. I

can't explain it. As long as you're not morbidly disfigured your looks won't

be the main thing I judge on. Girls all say they want looks, but they wind

up with guys who aren't hot all the time. There's so many guys that I think

are so hot, and I sit there waiting for them to talk and I'm all excited,

and they're like "hi" with some stupid line, and they sound retarded and act

weird. It's such a letdown, and most hot guys are like that."

I reply, "Do you think the 25 point list I showed you has to do with that

kind of stuff?"

She replies, "Yes, definitely. Also stuff that you don't have in there, like

just your voice and facial expressions."

I reply, "OK, what about the other stuff with calling girls out on bratty

behaviour? Like confronting her for flaking?"

She replies, "Well if a guy tries to argue with me, I'll just hang up on

him. He would have to do it in a totally funny way that doesn't make me

upset or annoyed."

I reply, "Last night, I call up this flaky girl, and say 'You're so annoying

to get a hold of! It's so cute though, you're so confused and disorganized.

It's like you're my bratty little sister. I don't even think I'm attracted

to you anymore, I just want to take care of you and help you get organized

like a big brother.'... Then she started giggling and said 'No no no.. I'll

meet up with you, don't think of me like that!'.. Do you think that was a

good approach?"

She replies, "Yeah definitely. That was funny and if you did that to me, I'd

be like "Oh yeah, well maybe I WILL meet up with you then!"

I reply, "OK awesome. So do you think it's good to talk for like 15 minutes

to remind her of what she gave you her number in the first place, and then

go for a meet?"

She replies, "Probably longer than that actually. I'm not sure. For you

maybe less time because you do this stuff. But most guys have no chance

unless they're lucky because I'm either bored or looking for something at

that point in time. I guess their best bet is to try to talk to me as much

as possible, so I become friends with them."

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

^^^ So to sum it up – girls are totally fickle, the end.

[TransparentCranium]

To sum it up girls act differently when in different emotional states. Control the state control the emotion.

edit: oh ya 1k.

[djrajio]

Ugh.

Last night met this hot 21 year old college girl off Mixi and proceeded to fuck her brains out for the last 8-10 hours. Nice E-cup breasts too.

Now I have a huge headache and was late for work.

[djrajio]

Dude its a figure of speech.

[tRaFFiC LiGhT]

if i'm reading that correctly it already seems like you know the answer to your own question?

ok for real though

just to improve myself and overall well-being, i'm trying to be more optimistic, positive, happy, nice, etc. etc. to improve general social interactions with people.

that phrase 'nice guys finish last' couldn't be more true when talking about girls though, right? it's kinda difficult for me to find that balance--keeping that "edge" without sacrificing good character, nah mean?

for example, a lot of times, a well-placed snarky comment can keep a conversation interesting and keep you out of friend-zone and such. nice guys are, well, nice, but a lot of the times boring.

i guess i don't really have a specific question, but i think you see my point. any advice?

[djrajio]

ok for real though

just to improve myself and overall well-being, i'm trying to be more optimistic, positive, happy, nice, etc. etc. to improve general social interactions with people.

that phrase 'nice guys finish last' couldn't be more true when talking about girls though, right? it's kinda difficult for me to find that balance--keeping that "edge" without sacrificing good character, nah mean?

for example, a lot of times, a well-placed snarky comment can keep a conversation interesting and keep you out of friend-zone and such. nice guys are, well, nice, but a lot of the times boring.

i guess i don't really have a specific question, but i think you see my point. any advice?

You just got out of a long term relationship just recently right?

I would probably spend the first month just building your network of friends and having fun and not really worrying keeping any "edge" and getting with any girls.

The notion that you just got out of a relationship and you trying to quickly date might give off "desperate" vibes even when you aren't intending to.

Obviously, you want to be prudent with the women that you interact with and have distance between them.

I honestly have never understood the term "nice guy".

What the fuck does that even mean?

But if you check my posts earlier in this thread you'll find some gems on how to be present a more masculine/stronger personality without being a jerk/asshole.

[dismalfuture]

Obama bump for the E-cup beezy.

[Chris-Craft]

it's remarkable how just several small changes in body language can alter how people approach/interact to you. speaking on the clothing point, how you wear your jawns is usually much more important that what jawns youre wearing.

[cyberPUNK]

people really shitting the whole nice guy thing? that's just some bullshit people tell themselves to explain why they're not getting pussy and someone else is.

oh and bump for the e-boobed-beeze

[mouko]

people really shitting the whole nice guy thing? that's just some bullshit people tell themselves to explain why they're not getting pussy and someone else is.

oh and bump for the e-boobed-beeze

Truth. Besides, I wouldn't want to date a chick that likes assholes. In any case... Being nice =/= being a pushover. Some dudes don't understand the difference. Djrajio said that shit best early in this thread, if a girl asks for a favor and its inconvenient for you, tell her its inconvenient, don't bend over backwards.

[2000dB]

yo, is e-cup a figure of speech too?

[cyberPUNK]

huh? like mammories mang.

huh?

[ojjairus]

yo i used to consider my self as a nice guy. Now i realize that i still am a nice guy just im not a wussy any more and i understand how women operate.

nice=/=wussy. so the phrase should be wussys finish last.

andd to wussys teasing a girl may seem to them as being a asshole to them.

[poly800rock]

girl i used to go out with invited me camping for her birthday.

umm.. no.

[poly800rock]

anyone ever do a plane pickup?

[jeepster]

^you seen Choke?

[DJ_Flame]

How to get beezys to let you put in raw 100% guaranteed???

[Billy.Barbados]

How to get beezys to let you put in raw 100% guaranteed???

Why would you want to do that? Smashing randoms raw is dumb.

[DJ_Flame]

I've known her for a while, but she always uses protection. Quite tired of that.

[arem]

anyone ever do a plane pickup?

My sister married a dude she met on a plane, so it can be done.

[Billy.Barbados]

My sister married a dude she met on a plane, so it can be done.

It doesn't matter where you meet a girl, unless you walk up in the bathroom and slide your head under the stall door or some shit. All you've to do is be confident enough to speak with them and be able to speak with women well. It's only going to be weird if you go up to her like "hey, uh.. like.. How about the weather?".

I've known her for a while, but she always uses protection. Quite tired of that.

I'd say just talk to her about it.

[ChaseDizzy]

Me and my GF broke up more than a year ago, been single since. After that I started a band. I really can't talk to girls. I know how, confidence, body language, etc...I just can't, so I'm here to complain. Whatever.

[TransparentCranium]

Me and my GF broke up more than a year ago, been single since. After that I started a band. I really can't talk to girls. I know how, confidence, body language, etc...I just can't, so I'm here to complain. Whatever.

Just do it more, and stop caring.

[Pandemonium]

I've known her for a while, but she always uses protection. Quite tired of that.

you should both go for checkups and if you're both clear (highly likely) then you might be able to coerce (i mean convince) her to go on the pill.