super (or not) roommate : your experience/Fuck dumb fucking roommates that don't do..

[chub rock]

walked in on my roommate last year with my laptop in his hand and in his boxers tellin' me he's "trying to jizz."

PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN!!

naw, ill see what i can do.

[azn8oi]

i recently hit the roomate jack-pot. put an add for the room up and was only getting responses from the biggest goons ever. then with actually one day before the 1st (when rent is due) in walks this belgian sex-fox who was a [this is my favorite part] constestant on BELGIUM'S NEXT TOP MODEL and was like 'i'll take it.' nicest chick i've ever met in my life too and ive only known her for like 7 days. booyah .

the thread name is Fuck dumb fucking roommates that don't do shit :(:(:(:( not make us feel envious

[azn8oi]

my roommate brought his Playstation (original, OG, fat clunky 1995 PS) to our apartment, made some kind of remark about how sturdy old technology is (i'll give him that), and has been playing Gran Turismo ONE since last night. We've been back at the apt for like, 15 hours, and out of those 15 hours, he's played for like 7. This includes sleeping time from last night. He ditched class to continue playing this 10 year old game.

[mojinho]

He ditched class to continue playing this 10 year old game.

yeah man i don't see what's so objectionable about that, i'm a big fan of being lazy around the apartment. i guess it might suck for you, though, since you can't stand the sight of him and he's been in the living room nonstop . . .

[cyberPUNK]

PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN!!

naw, ill see what i can do.

trust me i wish it didn't happen, therefore...no pics. ha. problem solved.

[mojinho]

dude why the fuck would you move into a situation like that?!

[azn8oi]

i dont think anyone moves into these situations knowing about it.

i didnt know that my roommate was honestly this useless.

[mojinho]

true dat 12345

[freecat]

This thread is also for housemates/flatmates

My roommate is up at 1:15am, I've seen her eat at least 3 full bowls of pasta/noodles and some other shit since I got home from work today. Seeing this process daily has kept me away from carb loading, because it really does go straight to your ass and midsection.

Hasn't reached that level yet, it's just nickel and diming me though, and she's beyond stubborn and not exceedingly bright or independent, so it's a really slow grating process.... so slow that it can't really be documented in a funny way, it's just one of those things you have to be here to see for a long time, before you get the gist of it.

I do like her for the fact that she doesn't get in my business (not that I have much to hide or don't share) and the fact that she doesn't bedgrudge my lifestyle choices (although she lives pretty much the same way, plus she lives off my luxuries), but I'll let the negatives slip here:

We're both moving out in 30 days. All of this has been looming on my mind for awhile now though and I've agreed to live with another guy in the meantime, but now I'm feeling like backing out of it and just living alone somewhere else. I feel bad about breaking that kind of news to this dude cuz he seems pretty excited to live with me.

I (don't?) take my generosity seriously, I am pretty open to giving and sharing. My roommate isn't very good about it though.

The worst part is that she rides on most people's generosity and will probably not realize how good she's been living (with me) till it all runs dry and nobody else is there to supplement. It's to the point where she used up my favorite Colgate toothpaste (unavailable here, I brought it from the US), my $45 face wash and most other disposable toiletry items (I don't buy anything cheap when it comes to this kind of stuff), smokes a lot of my cigarettes because she's too lazy to put on clothes and go buy her own, uses most of my durable items (not a big deal) and has never reciprocated any of this generosity by buying much in the way of things that would be considered 'her share.' To date, I have bought almost if not every cleaning product in the house, and keep the house clean so as not to feel digusting, and about 90% of the longer-lasting food items like spices, herbs, oils and sauces, etc, and I keep a full-service kitchen of utensils and the like. I really don't like living without, when it comes to my personal lifestyle.

I end up having to sort her trash, because after 6 months of harping, she doesn't sort recylables properly or use the proper taxed garbage bags. She just throws shit into any bag and then puts it in our garbage place still, but I walk outside and find our landlord, this 85+ year old man, crouching on the ground sorting out our previous nights trash into the proper bags.

Her daily routine can be typified as such:

-On work days, she wakes up at 2pm. She goes to work at about 2:30.

-If not a work day, she wakes up between 4-8pm (last Wednesday I think she woke up at 10pm)

-She comes out into the living room in the bare minimum of clothing, and plops onto 'her' couch, lights up a cigarette, and then chain smokes another 3.

-She gets ready for work. This entails brushing her teeth, putting on clothes that she probably hasn't washed in 3 years, putting her cigarettes and broken cell phone into her ratty purse. This takes about 10 minutes. She comes out and announces that she got ready for work in 10 minutes and then goes out.

-She goes to work for 7 hours, I will not discuss her work or her opinion of her work but I don't have a truly great outlook on it. We do the same job, but at different places and I know her and people in general well enough to have formulated an opinion on this.

-She comes in either at 10:30 sober, or at 12:30 and drunk, depending on the weekday. In either case, she heads to the kitchen and starts eating. For herself, she makes spaghetti noodles with soy sauce and sesame seed oil on it, or something like that. Dishes are a 50/50 tossup, in the first days of living here, they were sitting there for quite awhile.

-more chain smoking in her little sofa place, she does some catch up on the internet or talks on the phone, and then goes back for more food usually, and then passes out.

-She has trouble sleeping, so this is where she wakes up at 3 or 4 am and rapes the kitchen.

-She wakes up in the morning and repeats the process, if there's any food in the fridge she will eat it as-is. It could be leftover soup, leftover whatever, rotting anything, she will eat it, cold. I have never seen her get food poisoning, so for all of this, I'm really surprised.

-She never goes grocery shopping, she buys only what she can get on the way home at the corner store in front of our house. She makes her boyfriend buy food from a proper supermarket on the weekends, which he does. He's not bad about replacing stuff or cleaning up after himself, but the two of them together are pigs.

I don't have much time left to live here, so I can kinda shake it off and it'll be history, but I have just decided that I really don't like living with other people in general, unless they're Japanese women. (0) Show me a person who can clean up after themselves, abuse generosities, replace what they use, and have common courtesies, and I will live with them.

Winq can probably attest to this post, as he has lived here as well, and witnessed everything. I am posting now, and we posted on superfuture on stolen wi-fi, because one week of a promise from this roommate of getting internet service at our house turned into two and then three, and then we realized that she was never going to do more than function at a very basic level.

None of this would have really bothered me until today when it came to a head, when it came to light that she was pre-selling stuff from the apartment now prior to our moveout, some of which was my old stuff that had been passed around through friends as I'd left the country previously and was generously handing old stuff out, and some ended up with her, and now she will be collecting money off of it. Some stuff that winq likewise bought and left, I have a feeling she will be claiming and/or selling. Winq for sure won't be seeing money from this, nor will I. And once again she rides off into the sunset on her ship built by others.

I don't really know how much she's cost me in used supplies/food/misc, but it's running and it's not a small sum. I hate the idea of being one of those people who splits every possible thing into two and sticks with billing people, but then again I just expect people to have enough respect to take up the slack on their own.

/end rant btw.

I have known her for about 4 years, so she is in the friend group, but she also had a similar problem with her previous roommate (her college friend from the US that she followed to this country, and called a best friend) and they are now not on speaking terms. My roommate chalks it up to other reasons, but has mentioned that the former best friend had said pretty much the same things as I've mentioned and I did know both girls and they are disaparate personalities and the best friend was a bit sharper and better in touch with reality IMO, so I know I'm probably not alone here. I've mentioned already that my roommate is stubborn so she will probably never get the clue as to why things like this fall apart, until her dying day. I am not really sure if I am gonna sort this out and just let it die in the next month, and let it be. If I confront this problem, it'll most likely fall on deaf ears and nothing will change, and it will just break apart any semblance of remaining friendship. Most likely I will just end up in the 'enemy camp' along with her former roommate/ex BFFFF who got mad at her for the same shit.

I actually had my previous roommate do that to me, he stole my computer, passport, camera, etc, and 'evicted' me from the premises within 24 hours. That case was a small fat Asian man with horrible self image, who hated me as time went on, for being me. That is another epic story to be told, one day.

I have been living unemployed for about 2 years, and just started working this past week. I spent some of my own money during that time, but mostly, it's my parents money (until I start getting paid for my work, which is a week or so). My parents are not hard up and they don't mind giving me a bit of financial support because of certain circumstances, and my parents are generous people in general. I live pretty damn well, for not working, but I don't mind sharing a bit with friends, as long as it stays reasonable. I was raised to share and be good about being generous, and to not begrudge people for having or not having. It's probably not the best thing though, in times like these, that my parents have to also feed my roommate, who has been working continuously for years now and has her own savings, and is preparing to go piss it on living with her boyfriend in England, a few months from now. That's not really my domain, but like I said, I've been kind of contributing to the ship that she will sail on for free, and I just have to end up working that much harder in the future to make up for losses. Most likely too, I'm thinking, is that I will end up inconveniencing others as a result, such as moving in with my gf, when I hate that kind of stuff myself and live to not inconvenience others this way. Burns me up. I want to keep it right between the people who are close to me, but I usually end up having to flip open the wallet.

was quite entertaining and made me feel like creating a post

hum i first wanted to open this thread to talk about my experience but my housemate may read it so i actually would rather not.

[Billy.Barbados]

My roommate is my brother, so as you can imagine things get hectic. I don't have any problems with him, we're about the same except for how we dress, so we get along well.

[kunk75]

freecat would be a good roomate. is the nicest doood ever.

[dismalfuture]

I hate everyone

[ProfMonnitoff]

Last year I lived in a house with three people until I couldn't handle it anymore.

A - The best of the bunch. Reserved and kind. A bit OCD though. I used some of her butter once and she threw a tantrum. Nice girl all around though.

K - Pinay girl, super spoilt even though she was middle class at best, kind of thick but also kind of cute. The biggest slob I've ever seen. Didn't wash dishes once in six months, I think. Always made stir fry that made the entire kitchen smell, never shared any of it (maybe that was a good thing), never cleaned up after herself. I checked out her room once while everyone was gone and I didn't get beyond opening the door because there literally wasn't anywhere to step on the floor. Dishes, clothes, paper, DVDs. Her phone was a sidekick with Hello Kitty stickers on it, and she dressed the part. She stole my food, she drank my alcohol, and she never gave anything back.

D - Decent guy with terrible friends. He was doing some UK military stuff for fun while being at university, and every single military guy I ever met was a complete prick. Loud, rude, filthy, inflated ego, aggressive, probably on steroids, a mix between a bro, a chav, and drugged up body builder.

There aren't really any stories per se. D and K were just assholes constantly, A got along with them for some reason, I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

[ProfMonnitoff]

i would be a good roommate. my worst thing is probably that when i'm working on an essay, the room becomes a pile of papers that cover the table, are taped to the wall, and then start invading the floor and bed when i run out of space elsewhere. i'm really clean though and don't steal food (do share though).

[Knugget]

both of my roommate smells. this one smells worse:

like natural oils so every 2 days he washes his body and hair with conditioner only in his <4 min showers.

doesn't brush his teeth before he sleeps (i find that gross)

will continue later.

[polishmike]

someone has to dig up sidney's roommate rant

[cyberPUNK]

walked in one day to find my roommate in his boxers with my laptop in his hand telling me he was trying to jizz...awkward.

[dismalfuture]

I will shut this thread down with some really good stories, once I get some time and patience. alpha and omega places

[Mr Waffles]

i had a roommate that had unlimited amounts of headies. I woke up everyday and we ripped the roor, went to lunch, then played xbox.

i think he dipped with my aqua teen hunger force dvds though.

[Mr Waffles]

i now live with my mom. she does not smoke headies.

[Fycus]

I would always walk in on my roommate fapping freshman year after class. Its like he didnt get the memo, hey shithead i get out of class the same time every day cant you budget your time a little better? Right now I live with a bunch of europeans and the austrian one doesnt understand personal hygiene. It could be worse, but they mostly leave me alone as they are usually at practice during the day.

[siq tribal brah]

i've always wanted to make a book out of stories i have from college. i lived with the same kid for 3 years with various others from year to year. had to have caught him fapping a good 20 times over that time, been in the room while he had rough sex (slapping, punching, etc) with some slutty hoe then told her to leave. he went to a party across the street from our house naked once, like walked into a full on kegger with like 100 heads buck naked. we kept a count of how many girls this kid slept with and made him cakes for each milestone (30, 40, missed 50, he's on like 60 by now, who knows) and a bunch of other shit i don't remember, i miss college.

[Billy.Barbados]

Some of you have had some weird/lazy roommates, I'm glad I don't have any really bad stories, only funny ones.

[nickthechibi]

my sister once had this roommate that freeloaded off her food and shit all the time. one time the rm like used all the eggs to make food for random friends that were over, then called my sis durring class to buy more. she snapped and they had a bigass cat fight over it. initially, the rm's mom called my house leaving a message for my mom saying some shit like, "oooh, our daughters are having an arguement" and you can hear the rm like sobbing in the background. the next day, she leaves another message saying the same shit, but more urgently and you can hear yelling in the background. day after that, same shit, but you can hear screaming/crying in the background

found out later the rm's mom called the cops when my sis turned her music on hella loud to stop the rm from sleeping because I guess she depleted my sis' shampoo or something.

the messages are still on my answering machine... shit is good laughs

[Knugget]

both of my roommate smells. this one smells worse:

like natural oils so every 2 days he washes his body and hair with conditioner only in his <4 min showers.

doesn't brush his teeth before he sleeps (i find that gross)

will continue later.

has no fucking manners at all.

no sense of personal hygiene

doesn't go to the dentist "because [his] teeth are white enough"

he has a fan on 24/7 pointing directly at him, fan + his scent/odor = death.

the first time anyone comes into my room they say something along the lines of "holy fuck your room smells like shit"

doesn't wipe his ass after he shits.

all i can think of for now.

[oOmegaOo]

has no fucking manners at all.

no sense of personal hygiene

doesn't go to the dentist "because [his] teeth are white enough"

he has a fan on 24/7 pointing directly at him, fan + his scent/odor = death.

the first time anyone comes into my room they say something along the lines of "holy fuck your room smells like shit"

doesn't wipe his ass after he shits.

all i can think of for now.

Come on, man, how is this possible? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

[Knugget]

that i know? or that he doesn't?

i am creeper status. i was taking a shit and he comes running in. i knew it was him because he always drags his feet and his weight makes the floor shake. so i sit there and observe. he slams the door and sits on the toilet. *BOOM* i thought it was a fucking cannon from his ass. his farts are so fucking loud and big. i don't think i've ever heard a more gruesome noise. then he gets up and leaves.

NOTICED:

does not lay down seat cover paper

does not wipe his ass

does not wash his hands

maybe he was in a rush that one time because the other times i observed him he washed his hands and lay paper down.

[Guest Phrost]

Complex: Well, where there any memorable ones?

DMX: Yeah, there was one that took a shit and didn’t wipe her fucking ass, man. I remember that bitch. She had a big ass, too.

Complex: Wait, she took a shit before or after?

DMX: Yo, peep it. I was tired on tour, so I chose my girls, like, “All right, come with me.” She got in the bed. So, like I’m walking up, I’m just smelling shit! Straight shit! Know what I’m saying? I guess she heard me moving around or something, so she just jumped in the bed. So, I’m there just waiting, just sleeping. I wake up, I’m like, “Yo, the shit smell up the whole fucking room!” I go in the bathroom to take a piss, and see big ass logs of shit. Like four of them big logs of shit. But I noticed there was no toilet tissue in there.

Complex: Interesting. Maybe she…

DMX: Nah, there was shit. Paper’s supposed to be the last thing in toilet. Paper goes on top of the shit. So I saw shit and no paper.

shit happens

[sungrak]

i had a suitemate take a dump and clog the toilet, which is whatever.

same dude couldnt wait/find another bathroom, and shit on top of the clogged mess. it sat there for 2 days until the janitors finally got around to it.

AND my room opened directly into the bathroom on one side.

[nicotine]

one of my roommates before i dipped from pratt claimed to be an orthodox wiccan. she also claimed to be drug free and not smoke cigarettes however she stole my medication and a pack of cigarettes from me. maybe she was going to sell my shit but i doubt it because she was fucking out of her mind. she also wore so much damn eyeliner it looked like she dipped her face in an oil slick everyday.

im done bitching now because i dont even live with her anymore.

fuck that cunt though seriously, she threatened to kill me in my sleep though i never slept and all she did was sleep.