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NYC Subway Stories


TheBrokeDJ

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i went to nyc a couple of years ago to visit a couple of friends.

one night as we were pulling into a station this group of black kids sitting right across from us were like "wow, look at that nigga" so we looked to see what they were staring at. turns out there was some asian guy in a full yankees uniform(pants included) sitting on the ground lookin half conscious. he was sitting in a pool of red shit and had red stains down the front of his jersey. don't know if he got stabbed or what. whatever happened he sure as hell was fucked up.

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  • 2 months later...

J train conversation between two footlocker employees,

one wearing an 8ball jacket over his uni

A-son...you believe this nigga chris tried to get at me in madden

B-word? you finish em?

A-yeah kid, 40-7, i be puttin mad strategy into it, kickin

field goals and shit

B-word word....yo you seen those niggas in house of hoops section

rockin beads for they lanyards?

A-yeah yo, ion understand it. niggas in that section be showin

mad neck

B-.....mad neck son.

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  • 3 weeks later...

well. i had my first "man taking a shit in front of me" moment on the 72nd street 1 train station. also, upon walking down, another man was peeing on the staircase.

anyway, do you guys know which train platforms are jump-able? i think dino tried one once but i forget which it was.

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  • 1 month later...

7 train in my train. Used to ride to work and there would be this dude on it almost every morning listening to an instrumental on his walkman on speaker and kicking reggae jams in 2 very distinct voices for all the commuters to enjoy. Then I stopped seeing him. 2 year later, today my BRO was on the B and caught this recording:

http://spliffington.tumblr.com/post/411545866/this-guy-is-an-nyc-subway-legend-brap-brap-brap

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A train, 14th st. around 9pm.

Old drunk guy falls over face first onto the tracks, taking his bags with him. Completely irresponsive, doesn't even know his face is smashed into a puddle of rat piss and is inches away from the 3rd rail. Lucky for him, the A takes forever to get there, long enough for the cops to drag him up and question him. Boards the train that would've been his death sentence.

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I have consumed more drugs on the 7 train than many people have ever done. My friend used to live at the end of the line, in whitestone, we would take it from 42nd, and just post up between cars and smoke mad blunts til we got there. it was always good.

Often times we would be up all night in a acid frenzy, trying to get to school the next day was hard, as we would fall asleep on the train, only to wake up going back to queens. We missed a lot of school waking up that way.

Any time i think back to this era of my life, i am surprised i was only arrested once.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Few years ago I was sitting there and some old dude comes on just stinking drunk, bottle of royal crown hanging out the pocket of some nasty ass military jacket. He goes up to this kid and starts trying to box him, just tapping him, but still making contact. Dude eventually starts hitting him hard but this kid's just standing there taking it with this "for the love of god get me to my stop" look on his face while some old white dudes are yelling at him to do something. Next thing you know the drunk dude starts pulling wads of cash out of his pocket and just throwing it all over the place. The guy he was trying to box starts picking it up and putting it back into his pockets, but the drunk dude just pushes him away then gets off at the next stop.

Also saw some dude leafing through his black blook when some executive type young hispanic guy comes up, sits next to him, and asks him he if he wants to do some designs for ecko.

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In Chicago, so sorry to interlope, but we don't have a big enough draw for a thread of our own.

I was headed home, drunk on the Blue Line - the train was packed with people in a similar state and in comes two dudes carrying a six foot sub with a third carrying a huge platter of assorted sandwiches. Chicagoans don't talk much on public transportation, so nobody said anything for awhile, but eventually someone broke the silence and said something along the lines of "...so, are you gonna eat all that or what?" The three guys all looked at each other and must've psychically agreed and instantly said sandwiches for everyone then started passing them out. Apparently they'd stolen it from some gala going on at a college near the station - it was some real gourmet shit too, everyone just ate their sandwiches and had drunken conversation with strangers, a real heartwarming moment.

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  • 1 month later...
It's a testament to how lame Toronto public transit that in all the years I've ridden it, I don't think I've got one good story.

same here; 4 years of riding and nothing worth sharing...

whereas the first time i rode NYC subway a bunch of Kids surrounded me when i pulled my ipod out, acting as if they were gonna rob me

but im ready to die for my shit (10) and was like fuck that, got off at my stop

so i guess i have no stories.

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I had my first semi-interesting event happen on the TTC recently. I got on the train to hear this thug-ish looking white dude say "Anyone who doesn't believe in Jesus is honestly a faggot". He was talking to this old dude who looked like Lenin across from him, who kept nodding to everything he said. Some other choice quotes were "I'd fucking kill that guy who made that movie about jesus. Jesus was so tough. You can't make a movie about Jesus. That's just wrong" and "how can you not believe in Jesus? It just doesn't make any sense".

I'm not a hardline atheist or anything. It was just bizarre seeing a fanatical, tough looking white dude yelling to an ancient eastern european man with a Ushanka and a cane about how "people who don't believe in jesus desire to die" in Toronto.

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Was in NYC two weeks ago.

On A train going downtown.

An old woman hobbles on to the train, looks around to see that all the seats are taken and there is very little standing room. Nobody moves, of course.

She walks over to a guy in a suit and says "Excuse me, but you can you please do me a favor and get the fuck up, I'm old, dying, and need to sit down."

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Like 2am probably -5 celcius, going to a club in berlin, get to the station, as the train pulls in like 3 guys with balaclava's are running along the top of the train, one videophoning it. It would've done like 30km/hr with a big fucking drop into freezing water. They just yelled and then jumped off.

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i saw it happen to some girl. pretty sure she shat herself.

I remember starting to look back over my shoulder and seeing the window go, then I was hanging through the window and I got right fuck back in the car.

This probably went down a good 12-13 years ago and I'm still freaked when I think about it

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  • 11 months later...

^ the dude always around my building in TriBeCa... dropped a deuce right next door...

this isnt the first time he licked his sandals clean...

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It's shitty but I don't have sympathy for girls that faint in the middle of a crowded train, take up an old lady's seat to sit down, stop the train for 10 min at the next stop and don't get the fuck off. "no, it's cool i'm ok. my bad." I know that's like, 0 tolerance, but it was just the smug look on her face while she did it, I don't know, like she was faking it to get a seat or something.

edit: anddd the conductor had to come to the spot because someone pushed the emergency button. The dude literally swam through cars of people just for her to say "my bad", then swam back.

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I got some great Toronto stories on the TTC

one rick owens skinhead looking dude straight screaming about the bible on the subway while stomping his heavy leather boots. straight scaring people but i could barely hold back the laughs

best story though

I was on this late night bus and there was this old guy there. Everyone was pretty much hammered on the the bus and everyone was being loud. One drunk polish guy started singing for some reason and then wanted to prove he was strong. He got on his hands and knees and did pushups with the whole bus counting each one. Somehow that roped this excited mexican guy into the scene which resulted into a verbal agrument between this hick looking don cherry dude and the mexican dude. This turned into a verbal spat of personal and racial insults. The bus driver had to pull over when the white guy asked to step off and fight.

Mexican guy got shook and didn't get off to fight him. Some old woman called him a pussy.

Another time everynoe got together and sang happy birthday to this drunk bitch. Cars looking at the bus must have been wondering WTF was going on.

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  • 1 month later...

i got on an a train at 59th about 6 months ago. There was a smell. It was strong. All the other cars were PACKED. I got on that car just on the random. There were like 4 other heads and me. One of them had shit himself. I was trapped until 125th. That sucked.

One time on the 1 my then girlfriend and I sat down on a crowded train. She looks at me and whispers "this guy is touching my leg," I look over and it's some skinny shady looking white dude with an afro and a trench coat over his lap. We switch places and I just stare at him. Without blinking. At the next stop I make to punch him and he leaps up and runs out, leaving a trail of pee on the floor. The car clapped.

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  • 1 month later...

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