yO dis shietzzz bE 4 rEaLzz YO!

[superock]

http://www.holladaddy.com/

DUN B AL UP IN MAH BIZNAZZ!!@!

kinda makes me lose all hope in humanity....or at least lose hope for America....

[samsikle]

this is fucking hella funny

Victim's name:

Victoria

Photo:

Message she sent me:

hey whats up

My response:

Your cholesterol.

holla-saurus rex

[julzkind]

loololol

this is soooo ignorant.

i love it.

[Billy.Barbados]

im about to get sharpton on his ass and see who gets the last laugh.

[Fabulaz]

holy shit

this is fucking good

[HeatIsHot]

I just read all of that.

thank you.

maybe.

[Servo2000]

so wuz with ya cuttie

My response:

mashed potato sunburn colostomy

Her:

so do u think that we can get to know each other

Me:

mos def scuba shoe roast beef cholera lessons

Her:

what are u talking about roast beef what the fuck

I laughed so hard at this one and I'm not even sure why.

[willy cheesesteak]

Her message to me:

hey sexc wats up withu

My response:

nuttin much gurl.. just gettin' mah stroke on 2 sum of youz pictares imaginin dat u iz 6 years yunger, u here?

Her:

oh reallly im horny too

Me:

datz right gurl.. talk 2 daddy like youz in 5th grade. I be da teacha.

u wanna learn bout christufa columbes, biatch? why dont uu jump on deez nuts rightere

Her:

make me wet first mister columbes

Me:

gurl... i comes up 2 yo desk afta class. i sit at da edge an watch u fo a minut doin ya werk so hard. i can see yo flat preteen cheast thru da top of ya shirt.

I gently push away yo books and direct yo chin up towads me with my finga.

u look buuteful. u noticee me start 2 get haard as i look at yo braces

Her:

thx mir c i feel my pussy geting wet and my underwear geting wet through my short lil skirt i start to rub ur dick through ur pants

Me:

ooo ya, daddy likez. as u keep rubben mah dick u take yo utha hand n start touchin mah neck. u rub ya hand all ova mah THUGLIFE tatto on mah back.

den, I gently reach down adn tuch ya wet skirt. I reach in and stick a finga in ya hawt surprisingley unvirgin 11yaer old box. I den take mah utha hand an start slippin off yur spungebob squarpants shirt n then unbotton ur traininbra

Her:

starts to play with mu swollen clit and starts to play with ur pants zipper

Me:

ooooo thas nice gurl. I start 2 get even harda as i starrt 2 think about da holocaust.

u unzip mah pants and pull out mah gigantic memba. i gently leen ova suck on ya little undredevelopd titties as i thinnk about how hawt u must'v been when u was 6 or 7

Her:

i wipp out ur dick and play with ur balls and start to gentalyy stroke ur hard long wide cock

Me:

ohhhhh yah gurl... that feelz fuckin nice. I take u an bend u ova ya desk an gently stick mah dick in ur tite little 11 year old box. u bleed a littel but its ok. u mone as i thrust gentley in u. youz in pure heaven.

suddenley another gurl enterz da classroom. shez a little yunger. in 3rd grade. we both stop, surprisedd, but u beg me to keeep goin. i tell u dat ill only keep goin if u do sumthin fo me. I ask da yunger girl to come closer and get close 2 u. i ask u 2 kiss her for me an get crazay, den ill keep fuckin u, an show levels uf pleasare u only imagined gurl. what do u do next 2 da gurl?

Her:

i call her over and reach under her skirt and start to play with her i can feel her getting wet

Me:

oooo dats hawt. i start to stroke mahself as i watch da 2 of u gettin it on. i tink to mah self dat if my boss were 2 cum in, id go 2 prison againz fo shure.

i bring da 2 of u closer 2 me. i gently put mah dick back in yo box agian as i start 2 lick & kiss da 8 yearr old girl's titties. i bite down hard and tear off 1 of her nipples. she screams. a littel bit uf blood gently tickles da small of ya back as i get moore turnd on and fuck u evin hardar. u moan in eckstasy

Her:

mmmmmmmmmm mr c dont stop i rub my clit as u pound ur dick in me stretching out my lil pussy i feel u deep in side me and it feel so damn good i feel u coming in me its so warm ur just filling me up my pussy turns hot red

Me:

ohhh yeah biatch.... i fuckin u harder den eva befor. ur startin to scream loudley in eckstasee. i grab 1 of ur pencils on ur desk an start carvin love notez into ur back. da blood runs down ur smokin ass and down ur legs as i continu 2 pull in an out of u. i take out da scissers out of ur mylittlepony bookbag an start cuttin ur hair off as i keep fuckin u.

Her:

ouch i screamthat hurts i pull away and look at the blood

Me:

imm sorry gurl.. i thot u liked to playz ruff. I calm u dawn and reassur u. i gently bring u closer n kiss u on yo neck. when u gets more relaxed, i take ma finger and rub yo clit a little, before inserting my dick again. oh yaa gurl.. u tight. i look down on u as u calm down and starrt 2 smile again as i pump in an out. u starrt 2 moan.

Her:

fuck me harder and harder u cumm in my hot pussy u pump in and out the cumm starts to squrt out my pusyy under ur dick i lick it uup

Me:

ohhhh yeah guuurl. i cringe as i cum in u so haard. just as u start 2 cum, i takez out mah blade and slash it across yo windpipe. u fall lifeless 2 tha floor as i beat mah chest and chant "THUG LIFE!" wavin mah blade around. u twitch on da floor as mah cum poors out of u like mayonaise cummin out of a mailbox. i grab da nippleless 8 year old and start fuckin her hard in da ass.

ur lifeless eyes stare across da room. tha thought of u layin dere makes me harrd as a rock and i fuck ur 3rd grade friend like shez never been fucked befo'

Her:

ummmm ur turning mme off

Me:

hush down gurrl... da dead cant talk. plus, i'z tryin 2 get mah mack on.

i keep fuckin foneesha (da 8 year old) as i put a finger in ur lifeless ass. dam gurl.. ur ass is TIGHT. i put down foneesha and get behind u.

i gently insert mah dick in yo ass as u lay stumick to da floor wit yo ass in da air. oh ya gurl. dats tight. i thrust in an out while i works on mah 2nd nut.

Her:

no i quit

Me:

aww cmon girl, we was just gettin started.

i continu fuckin u as i feel rigormortis set in. TIGHT. foneesha is tryin to get up but is slippin aroun in da blood. i clench yo asscheeks wit my hands as i continu poundin away. i take a fist and beat mah cheast like im king of da jungle. "THUG LIFE! THUG LIFE!"

Her:

on the real ur scaring me

Me:

thas jus how i roll gurl. u liked it in da beginnin. i's like a pirate, thas all. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

Her:

yah but u talking about killing and biting nipples of thats freaky

Me:

gurl.. i'z just freaky like dat. u know u likez it. a little blud neva hurt nobody.

do u havez a yunga sista? maybe we can all getz freaky 2getha

Her:

ummm bye

Me:

cmon gurl, dont be'z like dat. u nuthin but a trickazz busta.

dead.

__________

[mpcec]

My message to him:

nigga, you ainforeel trickazz bustah

His reponse:

What do you mean not real ? I never said anything about you...

I added you cause I respect you.

lmbo123455

[willy cheesesteak]

Me:

gurl, u dont knowz wut u missin, trickazz bustah. eye'll fuckin taye up yo azz like a ferris wheel full of gay scubadivers .

Me:

maybee we'z can all freakay 2getha then.. i dont mind a lil dickplay as long as u dere 2 keep me hard likez a 4th grade math test.

Her:

WOW THATS GROSS

Me:

NAW NAW, once u get passed da fractions, it gets easier n shit. remember dat the numerator goes ova da denoninator is all.

Her:

MY ANSWER IS NO

Me:

i tried dat once but da tests iz always multaple choice. 2 many optionz 2 choosse frum, always keepin da bruthas down

Yes, this is the real Holladaddy.

Message he sent me:

soo hooz this

My response:

I'M YOU FROM THE FUTURE! I'VE COME BACK IN TIME TO WARN YOU OF THE DANGERS OF MYSPACE!

Him:

watch yeaself mandi

Thug life, yall.

Message she sent me:

i c u lookin sexy den a mug can i talk to u

My response:

sandwiches.

Her:

lol wat dat mean

Me:

what do you mean? they's delicious! I want one right now.

Her:

lol i can hook 1 up 4 u

Me:

ohh u tawkin now, gurl. tell me wut u'd put on dat samwich.

Her:

lol well wat ever meat u like sum tomatos letuce katchup mayo wat eva bread u like and cut it in half

Me:

ohhh dats right girl. dats nice, dats nice. wut kinda plate you put it on, yo?

u gettin mah shit alll worked up gurl.

Her:

lmao..... imma put it on a pretty shiney black plate with gold trimming....

Me:

oh dats nice gurl. im so hard right now. Do i gets any chips with dose? Can a brutha get some grapesoda?

Her:

of course u can wats a sandwich with no chips or grapesoda!?

Me:

exactly gurl... so da samwich is made nice and good. can u walk it ova 2 me? i bets u look good walkin it ova.

Her:

oh yea most def i can do dat... maybe in my purple 3 inch heels and a cute lil see thru outfit..

Me:

ooooooooo, dats real nice gurl. real nice. can u feed it 2 me?

Her:

yea i can feed it to u wit my freshly manicure fingers

Me:

fresh gurl.. dats so nice. it tasts so good shawday. u dids a real nice job thur. what else can u do for me?

Her:

lol think u soo funny

Me:

the sammich was good, but u needs to get these dishes da fuck outta here. the game's comin on.

Her:

ok ok yes daddy im to it right now... anything else

maybe a massage while u watch da game?

Me:

I said shut the fuck up. The game's on.

Message he sent me:

????***W3ST GØØDY***????

My response:

Are you trying to hit on me or are you trying to share some bad ascii art?

Him:

nah I'm juss bored Mii name andrew by TH33 way SØ how WAZZ ur thnxgiving

Me:

I want to suck you dry.

Him:

DΛYUM Yuu got AIM sexxii

Me:

First I want to know why you have a keyboard from Prague.

Him:

I'm on a sidekick

Me:

Nextel or Boost Mobile?

Him:

nah I.got tmobile Yuu can txt M33 or AIM M33 if Yuu wnt 323 475 xxxx Mii AIM G3TTiiNMXN3Y17

Me:

Really? I thought you were true gangsta'. Reppin' the direct-connect, flamboyant, half duplex real loud at the movies kind of shit.

Him:

nah I ΛiNT got no chirp I got a boost unlimited and a sidekicc

Me:

hahahahaha I knew it.

Him:

WΛT ppl wit sidekiccs lol

Me:

No idea what you're saying. Make with the dick shots or go bother some other fat guy.

_________________

[Hella Hyphy]

quick everybody quote every conversation

this is pretty hilarious though

[reallynow]

Message he sent me:

wat it do lil momma

My response:

chundermonkeys, dawg

Him:

say wat wats dat

Me:

snibsnib snazzle ya hear?

Him:

wat talk english

Me:

I don't believe the word "wat" shows up in the English dictionary.

Him:

my bad so whats good

Me:

girlscout tuba slammas over a rainbow of salt vacuums ya hurr?

this one is too nonsensical. too funny

[XenoX101]

My Message to her:

was gOiN on'z gurl, u wanna gEt wt a tru ta life thugazz gangsta? i bring u on a ride dat da clowncars aint neva gunna trick dis ostrich

holla-saurus rex

Her response:

NA I DNT WANT A GANGSTA...JUST A GUY WHO KNOWS HOW TO TREAT A GURL..AND UR CALI RITE

Me:

gurl, i kno'z how to treat mah peoples right ya heard? an where u at? arizonna? gurl, mah dick be reachin all da way ova to yo state n sheett

Her:

WELL I HAVE A BOYFRIEND....AND IM NOT THE CHEATIN TYPE..HA HA SO U THOUGHT U WERE GONNA GET SOME

Me:

mos def, gurl. nobodies can resist da charm uf holladaddy

Her:

LOL REALLY WELL I CAN

Me:

gurl, u dont knowz wut u missin, trickazz bustah. eye'll fuckin taye up yo azz like a ferris wheel full of gay scubadivers .

Her:

LMAO....WOW OK IF U SAY SO..

Me:

so cmon gurl, talks dirty 2 me. u knowz we was made fo' each utha.

Her:

NA ITS KOO...I TOLD U I GOT A MAN....

Me:

ok, i'll start if yo shy, gurl.

ok, we'z in church and i see u singin dere in da front pew, lookin all hot n shyt. afta da mass is ova, i cum up an sit next 2 u. i gently touch yo leg as i commplimant yo buutiful singin voice, den u reach up my priest robe an grab mah vagaina

Her:

I DONE TOLD U I GOT A MAN

Me:

u no yo man can neva be as much man as me right he-ya. cmon gurl, u'z beutifull. he dont gotsta no if itz jus talkin'

Her:

BUT MY MAN IS THE MAN I BEEN LOOKING FOR...

AND I CANT

Me:

maybee we'z can all freakay 2getha then.. i dont mind a lil dickplay as long as u dere 2 keep me hard likez a 4th grade math test.

Her:

WOW THATS GROSS

Me:

NAW NAW, once u get passed da fractions, it gets easier n shit. remember dat the numerator goes ova da denoninator is all.

Her:

MY ANSWER IS NO

Me:

i tried dat once but da tests iz always multaple choice. 2 many optionz 2 choosse frum, always keepin da bruthas down

[XenoX101]

My message to her:

sup gurl.. i wnana get wit chu

holla

Her response:

well... whats really good wit u ????

Me:

let's get da mack on

Her:

3236277050 THE NAME IS CHRYSTLE WHATS YOURS???LOL

Me:

Chester, gurl. what u into gurl?

Her:

"what am i in to?"...im into alot of things but i dont know what u talkin about ????lol

Me:

It means what do you like to do for fun. Don't you go to the blacktalk meetings? You're a disgrace to our culture.

Her:

well i do all types of things for fun....go to parties, go out wit the homegirls anything fun basically....what about u????and im not a disgrace to our culture nigga!!!!lol

Me:

i'm jus playin gurl... i'm sho u get da pamphlets in da mail n shyt.

so wats fresh gurl.. u got a man right now?

Her:

no i dont have a man right now but i am kinda talkin to somebody but it aint that serius u feel me....but anyways i know u got a gurl????

Me:

nah i aint got no gurl eitha.

an dats a shame, a beautiful thing like you aint got a man, dats hard to believes gurl.

Her:

i know i just havent found the right one yet but im "testing the waters" though...lol but anyways why u dont have a gurl as gud as u look?????

Me:

I have hepatitis. Do you want to meet up?

Her:

if you serius im sorry for u but if u just playin thats not even cool cuz i dont like playin games my nigga...but im straight though if thats what u want....

Me:

nah I ain't playin gurl, but it's coo... i didn't get da hep from gettin freakay wit da ladies, i gots it from heroin so u gots no worries. where u at? we should meet up.

Her:

so u still on drugs or what???...im just asking because i was kinda feelin you and i neva woulda thought u feel me but anyways im close though im in watts

Me:

nah not on da horse anymore gurl. so what's snappin? U gots any heron? i'd suck yo dick fo some of dat right dere.

jubjub

[ProfMonnitoff]

why yall copying and pasting all this stuff here? i can click the link too :confused:

[XenoX101]

highlights

[salaryman]

hilarious.

[jl3969]

this girl is fine

[Vampyrvargfesten]

shit is still funny

can't believe this is the dude who is running it...

http://profile.myspace.com/menstrualsweatpantsdisco

[evisu 2000]

Her:

make me wet first mister columbes

ahahahahahaha