dear ... [an open letter]

[Yardsale]

I don’t need you, but I’d like to have you. Please and thanks.

[on-display]

girl you are so beautiful, but you dress like a idiot

[Baeyer-Drewson]

Dear Superfuture,

Am I a "denim bro"?

Sincerely,

B-D

[Mr HaGa]

I don't think you wear enough IH or roy or doublexx to qualify?

[Baeyer-Drewson]

Dear Mr HaGa,

Phew, thanks! I was getting concerned for a minute there.

Kind regards,

B-D

edit: How can I know when I am at risk of becoming a denim bro? What are the clinical symptoms?

[broneck]

dear _____

just fuck off

[okonomi]

Dear icandunkonu,

Can you really dunk on me?

Regards,

Chris

[bfan]

dear ky,

in the words of a prince:

little red corvette

baby you're much too fast

have fun, no hard feelings

[deadendpro]

dear four loko,

when all of your caffeinated goodness left you, it also took away that special bond we once shared. i am sure you will continue to be amazing in some ways for other people, but what we once had will just never be the same.

sincerely,

dep

[OkayOkay]

Dear people that venture into a retail store,

If you have no intention of purchasing anything whatsoever, don't fucking touch anything. Don't unfold any tee shirts, and if you do, don't wad them up and stuff them under other folded tees like you're being sly. Don't pick something up off a rack then put it back on the rack backwards. Don't try shit on if you know you aren't going to buy anything. That camping rule "leave no trace" applies to retail also. I'm not here for your amusement and it's not funny to pick something up and laugh about it like you're clever, or ask stupid questions like "why is this $27 tee shirt so expensive? They sell tee shirts at Costco for $6, why are yours so overpriced?" Just basically be as silent and as invisible as possible until you decide to be someone I want to interact with (ie: someone with money).

Love -

The guy that has to clean up after you're done being an asshole.

[mr fluffernutter]

quit being an asshole and clean up my fucking mess

[cheapmuthafukr]

Dear Mr HaGa,

Phew, thanks! I was getting concerned for a minute there.

Kind regards,

B-D

edit: How can I know when I am at risk of becoming a denim bro? What are the clinical symptoms?

id like to know this too.

[broneck]

Do you wear 21oz iron heart jeans with fiip flops? that's a pretty good place to start.

[cheapmuthafukr]

only at the beach. flip flops are unacceptable anywhere else.

[broneck]

implication: you wear 21oz jeans to the beach.

this is a strong indicator that you are, indeed, a denim bro.

[cheapmuthafukr]

if i had 21 oz denims, then i wouldnt wear them at the beach.

actually, living in florida, id never wear em.

the one time a year i go to the beach, i wear shorts. short shorts. hoping my dick comes out the bottom for all the girls.

[redX]

*peek-a-boo.gif*

[Denton]

id like to know this too.

you're not earnest and rep-happy enough

however i see that you are attempting to enter a samurai contest

i urge caution

[cheapmuthafukr]

yeah, i wsa in the first samurai contest on here... thought it would be cool to do it again.

i dont see raw denim as a lifestyle tho.

[nism]

dear hot yoga instructor,

please adjust me in class. with excessive touch.

[Mr HaGa]

Dear catchforusthefoxes,

What are your jeans doing today?

[sawn-off chef]

Dear Superfuture,

I'm sorry I rarely do anything anymore, I miss you guys.

Love you,

Scott

[broneck]

Dear facebook,

I appreciate that you're trying to connect me with people I may be old friends with, and just haven't found on facebook yet. But just because I have 14 mutual friends doesn't mean I know this individual.

If we're tagged in photos together, that's one thing, but if you could cool it with the suggestions based on mutual friends, that would be good. Especially when they're absolutely smoking hot girls. That's just like a big slap in the face. "Hey, look at this hot girl your friend is friends with. Why aren't you?" Yknow? So just like, fuck off.

Sincerely,

Clo

[akuma no uta]

Dear Juvenile Court,

My little brother is a scumbag. He lies and steals from his family. He threatened our mother with death. He's not a fucking victim. He's a piece of shit. Please lock him up for years so our family can be peaceful again.

But you won't. You'll give him another chance. Of course he will fuck up again, and then my entire family will be weighed down with drama and court and such once more.

Thanks for nothing dipshits,

Ian

[DüM]

dear comcast,

what the fuck is this shit?

[i wear shooes]

dear girl who sits in front of me in class,

if you are sneaking bacon covered tater tots from your backpack into your fat face.. the least you can do is SHARE YOU GREEDY FUCKING CUNT. STOP CHEWING WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN AND USE A FUCKING NAPKIN.

From,

The guy behind you who will FUCK YOU UP verbally if I ever see your fatass at a party.

[icandunkonu]

wait, is she a fatass or does she have a fat ass? inquiring minds want to know

[robbie]

Dear Mr Wilson,

You stole my sophomore year of high school from me you son of a bitch.

fuck off.

robbie =w=

ps; Jesus doesn't cry when I listen to rock and roll music. He cries when he thinks about how awful of a person you are.

[deafmetal]

dear j,

sorry it didn't work out. my idea was not to lead you on --i was still in a haze from my former broken 'relationships' and was not looking for anything serious (as i had disclosed initially when we started talking, in my defense). you needed something that i was not ready and willing to provide. for all intents and purposes however, it was really fun while it lasted. i hope you can view it in that same light.

it is also my hope that you have now found someone who is able to provide you with the love and attention you deserve so that i would not have to feel so guilty.

- dm

p.s. thanks for allowing me to drill you in the butthole.

Edited June 9, 2012 by deafmetal

[icandunkonu]

Dear Sufu,

I haven't actively posted in months, what's been happening?

Warmly, Bim