Superawkward

[Thatboyo]

Did you smash

[cheapmuthafukr]

No

[FutureFuture]

@kindofyoung yea she was cute, same age too. 

 

So a few years back I was taking the uptown 6 train, really early on an autumn morning, listening to this fairly new thing I've been exposed to known as K-Pop. The train is suddenly going on a surprisingly smooth, and quiet ride. The only guy sitting near me is black. My volume is a little over half way up from maximum, and so the guy sitting near me can hear it. Suddenly the chorus to Sorry Sorry - Super Junior, starts playing, and he looks at me. 

Edited October 14, 2014 by FutureFuture

[mr fluffernutter]

the only guy sitting near me is black the only guy sitting near me is black the only guy sitting near me is black the only guy sitting near me is black

[DTC]

when ever you droppin a deuce somewhere on campus that isn't in your dorm bathroom (I commute so I don't even live in a res hall)

 

you got two kinds of people that come in not needing to simply take a piss: the kind that come into the bathroom and see the stall(s) be taken and immediately dip to go find an open one on another floor / in another building

 

and the people who stand there for a few minutes outside the stall waiting hoping you about to be done before giving up and dipping

 

I mean come on you making me nervous standing right there while I'm trying to take a shit especially if we're the only two people in the bathroom in a situation where there's only one stall

[Fycus]

real talk, I've had people enter bathrooms with a single stall and wait there like 3 feet outside of stall until I finish. Enjoy huffing my shit air and warm toilet seat ya creep.

Edited October 18, 2014 by Fycus

[Schoon]

There were construction workers renovating the facade of my building all day yesterday. When I got home from the gym and took a nice long shower I forgot that they were out there and that the blinds in my bedroom window were open. Since my roommates weren't home I had a chance to freeball it back to my room to change. When I walked in there was a worker right at my window working on the wall to the side, and I immediately turned and went back for my towel.

He wasn't looking at me when I walked in but I think he got a glimpse of my ass when I went back to the bathroom cause when I came back in with my towel and closed the blinds he refused to look at me even thought we were only separated by a half inch of glass.

Edited October 19, 2014 by Schoon

[Spaghettini]

when you walk into a bathroom to take a shit and some kid is taking a picture of his outfit

 

ugh

[SSchadenfreude]

when i take a shit and use the lady's bathroom cause mens is full. always hope that there won't be some good looking girl waiting outside or my waitress

[andrewisdope]

was riding with my pal and his family.  was sitting in the backseat with his kid (he was driving his wife beside him). wasn't a short drive and i was bored.  so i caught a fart and in my hand and shoved it in my friend's kid's face.  fuckin kid threw up in the car. he started crying and screaming. needless to say shit was pretty awkward when my friend asked me what happened. 

 

 

I laughed at this shit but....

 

 

Went drinking with a friend and got really wasted. She slept over and woke up next morning super hungover. She wasn't using the blanket at the time and i farted something super hot and silent. Few seconds pass, she creeps under the covers, catches a whiff and throws up. Good thing it was just water. 

 

Would be extremely awkward if this was a stranger, but shes really close to me so i walked away with a few shreds of dignity. 

[baldy]

on the plan ride i farted under my blanket discreetly.  been a couple mins and i don't smell anything so im like aii cool but then i shift position a little bit and and this rancid stank snuck out.  the dude next to me glanced at me real quick and started fanning himself with his pillow while i continued to watch my game of thrones

[uhhuh69]

i dislocated my knee playing football in high school and it was so hard to walk. was doing some homework at my computer at my dad's house when i needed a shit really bad (pretty sure we had chili the night before), so i positioned myself up, tried to reach my crutches but there was no time, they were too far away. so i hobbled my way to the toilet when my knee gave way and i collapsed to the floor in pain, as i hit the floor my intestines must've compressed or something and a fountain of shit erupted in my pyjamas and sprayed onto the floor. i managed to crawl my way to the bathroom and splurt out the remainder and clean myself up a bit. my dad came home to me crying on the toilet saying 'owww' over and over again, with a trail of shit leading to me. he didn't talk to me much after that, but he got really drunk at my aunties wedding a few years ago and decided the time was right to tell everyone. all my cousins, uncles, auntys, even my granddad. now i'm really distant from that side of the family 

[kH0yA Sw@Gp0o]

when you walk into a bathroom to take a shit and some kid is taking a picture of his outfit

 

ugh

when you're that kid and your neuroticism kicks in as you ensure bathroom is empty when you snap fitpic

[wrong_move]

before we move on completely to another topic

 

[EG562]

http://vinebox.tumblr.com/post/101092716151/vinebox-we-all-have-that-one-awkward-couple-at

[EG562]

Walking around the woods looking for mushrooms.

See a snake, and a frog at the same time.

Yell to my friends SNAKE AND FROG!

snake looks all pissed and slithers away.

Frog still chillin.

 

Totally c-blocked snakes dinner plans like a jackass.

[November20]

Coworker dropped something on my leg and she was worried. She then asked if I wanted her to kiss it to make it feel better without realizing what she just said. 

 

Also, I was eating at a ramen spot then the waitress spilled something on my thigh and grabbed tissues to almost patting me

[Toastytime]

I've been pretty sick the past week and when I get sick I get really blocked up in my nose and I also get dehydrated. The dehydration leads to nosebleeds, and what looks to be mutant balls of snot and blood mixed together. Well I thought I was done with all of this by now so I jumped in the pool today swam around a little bit and blew air out of my nose and mouth when I was coming up because it's fun. I get up and I'm just waiting to start class(aquatic sports) and I realize everyone is staring at me, some with faces of absolute terror. I was pretty confused and I just stood there for a second until I realized what it was. My hands flew up to my nose and what was waiting for me was the Queen of all the mutant boogers. It came down to about my lips and I tried to pull it off but it just kept coming out of my nose, I just kept pulling which lead to this shit getting all over my hands and little progress being made. So next I had the absolutely brilliant idea to blow my nose, well it worked I guess. All the mucus got out but much more than I expected along with a whole new bloody nose which was like a river. So at this point my hands are covered in mucus and blood and the water around me is starting to become pink. I have never gotten out of a pool so fast and I know you're not supposed to run at pools but I think this was a time it would appropriate. Even after I cleaned up no one got within 10 feet of me. Probably won't ever be able to live this one down.

[FatCook]

Coworker dropped something on my leg and she was worried. She then asked if I wanted her to kiss it to make it feel better without realizing what she just said. 

 

Also, I was eating at a ramen spot then the waitress spilled something on my thigh and grabbed tissues to almost patting me

 

similar thing happened to me. waitress spilled some cold tea near my crotch region and went straight ahead dabbing the area saying sorry continuously during the process

 

she kept going despite me saying it's alright and I can handle it myself

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was having dinner with my parents when they were visiting and they silently watched in the background. I don't know why but this made it seem 100x worse than what it actually was.

[Lukenstein]

Nvm

Edited October 30, 2014 by Lukenstein

[Landadel]

My girl and I went to a birthday party of a friend and wrote a card that said something like 

"Congratulations to your fabulous escape from the uterus and through the narrowness of the vagina. Well done!"

One of the guests was 8 months pregnant and the birthday girl read the card out loud. Was kinda weird.

[Sunsnatcher]

on the plan ride i farted under my blanket discreetly.  been a couple mins and i don't smell anything so im like aii cool but then i shift position a little bit and and this rancid stank snuck out.  the dude next to me glanced at me real quick and started fanning himself with his pillow while i continued to watch my game of thrones

 

Last time I flew I accidentally hooked a sleeping man's leg on the cord to my headphones. Thought the cord was tangled on the blanket they gave me so I just kept tugging hard, until the dude woke up and started screaming because his leg was jumping up and down. You know when you just wake up and haven't realized a dream was a dream? He looked like he woke up to demons dragging his ass to hell.

[EG562]

Met with brother and sister in law at a bar to discuss some freelance design im doing for the sister in laws business.

Ended with them storming out of  bar in tears sayin " I JUST CANT DO THIS"

 

wut

Edited November 4, 2014 by EG562

[llobey]

full story pls

[EG562]

We wanted to talk about how to separate family from freelance. How to keep everyone happy, and still get the job done. No hurt feelings in business, its just business.

 

I called the meeting so I could lay out how to give a brief and a timeline, so everyones expectations are met. Simple stuff no doubt.

Instead of a two way conversation, they laid into me  on how my files were incorrect and late. There was no set timeline to even meet. So from there I got pushed into a corner, and shit got heated. Verbal sparring. Finger pointing. 

 

" When i ask my co-workers (who are all her sisters) to do something they do it right then"

"Im not your family, you dont get to boss me around (meant to say  'im not one of your sisters', shit was heated and i slipped up). I apologize immediately and say thats not what i meant, i tripped over words in the heat of the argument. sorryX3.

 

Brother gets furious. Rageface.zip. FUCK YOU! DONT EVER TALK TO MY WIFE LIKE THAT HOW DARE YOU ECT!!!... WE'RE LEAVING. gets up, sister in law sobbing I CANT DO THIS I CANT DO THIS.

 

bro is leaving says " sorry i said fuck you", sister in law wont accept apology, storms out door.

 

TL;DR - Freelance and inlaws do no mix.

[Magsåvningsreserven]

prob cuz you're an aloof sufu type (sufuloofâ„¢)   she's been trying to connect with you and get you to warm up, but you're a cool cat, a creative, a maverick and you do not participate in suburban rituals; she thinks you've hated her from the start and this confirmed it. she's confided in your brother, he says don't worry, "..once you get to know him.." .

 

now the seeds of mistrust are sown. a torrid affair. divorce. death. ebola. 

 

i'm incredibly perceptive.

[Sunsnatcher]

Yesterday I texted my dealer "thank you!!!!!! <33" followed by a shitload of heart emojis after picking stuff up. Meant to reply to a text from my mother, who's a big fan of emojis.

Edited November 6, 2014 by Sunsnatcher

[whitney]

ur dealer probably wouldn't think twice about the text

had a woman call me slut, whore, accuse me

of husband stealing when i walked out of my building and passed her as she was going in

the building I work in has a cute French cafe next to it and the owner was outside

this is after hearing from her husband that she had him thrown in jail, and that she has been committed twice in the past six months to psych ward

but of course the owner knows none of this

[Gatefold]

sent a big client from Kuwait (with an Arabic sounding name) an email beginning with "Hello Osama", and his name wasn't Osama at all.

 

it was a simple mistake because I had sent a similar email to another client from Kuwait (from a partner company, this dude's name actually was Osama) and just copy pasted it with some changes, but I forgot to change the name.

 

its not that bad but it still feels awkward

[uhhuh69]

for fuck's sake, copy and pasted the wrong link to my lecturer. can't believe it