Superawkward

[e0d9n0b5]

adult braces are hot tho

[baldy]

that's not awkward, that's just you being racist..

[fobsquad]

black people don't get lice?

[StrangeLove]

It's not racist black people really don't get lice.

[vunilla]

i was power walking in the halls because i thought i was late for class (when i power walk my arms swing back and forth supercrazy) and in the midst of the crowded halls, my right hand swings right into this guys crotch area. we made eye contact and i mumble that it was a accident and walk away super fast

Edited May 11, 2012 by vunilla

[dovo]

It's not racist black people really don't get lice.

true. maybe you worded that post wrong but it seems like immediately after your friend said lice likes clean hair, you said "yeah thats why black people don't get lice".

Im not going to say thats racist, but i will say that thats a pretty fucking stupid thing to say on your part.

edit: its not because their hair is dirty, its the texture of some people of african descent (some because there are different hair textures) that keep lice away. People in Africa get lice though because the lice have adapted to whats available to them.

Edited May 11, 2012 by dovo

[mrchariybrown]

true. maybe you worded that post wrong but it seems like immediately after your friend said lice likes clean hair, you said "yeah thats why black people don't get lice".

Im not going to say thats racist, but i will say that thats a pretty fucking stupid thing to say on your part.

edit: its not because their hair is dirty, its the texture of some people of african descent (some because there are different hair textures) that keep lice away. People in Africa get lice though because the lice have adapted to whats available to them.

I thought it was because black people usually have more natural oils in their hairs and lice can't live well in that environment and because they have a harder time sticking to the hair.

[thatoneguy1]

i thought it was because lice are racist

[dovo]

I thought it was because black people usually have more natural oils in their hairs and lice can't live well in that environment and because they have a harder time sticking to the hair.

i heard it was cause black hair is too curly and thick. but then again i also heard that santa claus gets to all the little kids houses because his sleigh is turbocharged with 2 shots of nos.

[home]

Then I'm eating the cake I bought and as I take the last bit off my finger with my lips I look this dude dead in the eye.

gold.

[NatseOklim]

i thought it was because lice are racist

Why? Because Asians eat rice?

[mr fluffernutter]

yeah you arent nice at all.

thats the joke

[Dropt]

that's not funny.

[dovo]

was counting pennies today on some coin star shit and was reminded of something that happened awhile back.

Took my gf (now ex gf) out to a chinese restaurant to get a lil grub before a movie. i used to goto this place all the time in high school and a lot of the people there knew my friends and i already. so I'm there, the owner comes out and is like oh hey how are you blah blah haven't seen you and your friends, ill tell him that we graduated recently and shit. so we eat, every things fine and we were actually having a good night looking back and considering the bitch she could be at times but thats another story.

So were trying to decide what movie we wanted to see and i was like well damn, lets flip a coin and let fate decide. she pulls a penny out of her purse i flip it (lose) we share an lol and continue eating. so we finish up, get the bill and shit i pay and tip with my card say my goodbyes to the owner and peace the fuck out.

all of a sudden the fucking waiter comes running out of the back waving his arms in the air running to my car. I'm like oh shit and roll the window down to see what was up. he gets to the car and starts screaming, you think you're better than me motherfucker? you left something, you want to be an asshole jerk off in front of your little girlfriend and leave a penny as a tip? fuck you. he throws the penny into the car and stormed off.

It was the penny from when we flipped a coin. i must have forgot to grab it and i guess he saw that before he saw the 10 dollar tip i left him on the receipt. haven't been back there since though.

Edited May 12, 2012 by dovo

[Krackrox]

Haha hope so. Making up for it now - had a pot cookie and am waiting for Avengers to start at IMAX 3D. vv Edit: starts in 20 minutes! Phone off after I type this! vv

u do pot?

[bfan]

I'm back home for the weekend and saw my high school ex gfs mom at trader joes, made eye contact for like 1 second

[Denpatou]

goddamn i hate that shit, but i always make stern eye contact whenever i see her. bitch, i see you seeing me.

[timber]

Part I

This red pen exploded all over my hand while I was working on a shoot, and for a split second I thought it was blood, but was like, whew, just ink. I tried to wash it off, but it didn't budge.

Part II

Later that day, I was securing this microphone to this girl, who kept looking at me with disgust. She said, 'Is that blood on your hand?' and I laughed and said, 'No, a pen just exploded on me.'

Part III

She walked away and I looked down at my hand and realized I had somehow actually cut myself, and there was real blood leaking from it.

[Denton]

shakespeare superawkward edition

[mr fluffernutter]

exeunt

[merry burger]

I'm visiting my parents for Mother's Day today. My parents are convinced that I'm going to die alone... I'm starting to believe them.

Dad: Hi Merry. I thought you come home and bring nice Korean man this time.

Me: Hi Dad... hahaha, sorry, no.

Dad: (sitting down, sighing) There are any nice Korean young man for you? Anybody say, "Merry, let us go to lunch together?"

Me: Uh, maybe, I don't know, Dad.

Dad: Why you no tell them -- "Why not we get married?"

Me: Uh... haha...

Dad: It not so hard. Even if you no like him, later when married you probably like him.

Me: Ok dad.

Dad: We already try arranged marriage for you, you say no.

Me: (Suddenly remembering the time my parents really wanted me to have lunch with them at a Korean restaurant and them pointing out this really nerdy 30-something doctor...) Is that what that was???

Dad: Oh nevermind. Hehe.

Me: Um...

Dad: What about... not Korean man. Anybody want to marry you?

Me: ... I don't know, Dad.

Dad: (Showing me flowers he picked from his garden for my mom) See? I pick four rose. One from you and your brother and for your future husband and his future wife.

Me: Oh... cool...

Mom: (Appearing out of nowhere) When he tell me that it bring tear to my eye. It make me cry in the shower. When you get married, Merry? Why you make me cry?

Me:

...

Edited to add my dad's interesting floral arrangement:

Mom: I make Welcome sign for future husband!

Edited May 13, 2012 by merry burger

[Vampyrvargfesten]

best use of supertalk 5.0 smilies A+++

[mrchariybrown]

All Korean parents at one time or another.

[sawyer]

shakespeare superawkward edition

Act 2, Scene 2

Enter

LADY [TIMBER].

TIMBER

Whence does that crimson color issue forth?

How is't with me, that I should fumble with this machine?

What hands are here? Ah, 'tis only the pen's aqueous dye.

Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this ink

Clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather

The multitudinous seas incarnadine,

Making the green one red.

Exeunt.

Act 2, Scene 3

Enter

LADY [TIMBER]

and

[Girl].

TIMBER fixes a microphone to the GIRL's vestments

.

GIRL

What sanguine spectacle do I see before me,?

Did some foreign object graze thine own

flesh? Come, let me clutch thee.

TIMBER

Hah! Were it so. Thine eyes are made fools

o' the other senses. There be no gash,

'Tis ink menially spilt that did infuse

with my hand. Be not rash.

exit

[Girl]

TIMBER

O, but what bloody business is this?

The unseemly wound most palpably appears.

'Twas no false creation, I'll to the

apothecary and see t'the wounds' dressing

Exeunt

.

Edited May 14, 2012 by sawyer

[Soya]

very confused about merry burger's story.

what does the father mean when he says '' I pick four rose. One from you and your brother and for your future husband and his future wife.'' ?? doesn't make sense

[djconcarne]

that awkward moment when that dude who's girl is in love with you passes by

[dismalfuture]

why did merry burger have to actually type like an ESL asian to get the point of that story across?

[yohjihatesfashion]

Haha hope so. Making up for it now - had a pot cookie and am waiting for Avengers to start at IMAX 3D.

vv Edit: starts in 20 minutes! Phone off after I type this! vv

mmmmm we should toke together girl

[conqueror]

my mum was over the other day and wanted to use my computer to print out a map. she doesn't really know how to use google maps, so i was helping her find the joint so she could print it out. during this process, utorrent notified us that 'game.of.thrones.s02e06HDTV.mp4' had finished downloading. my mum asks something like 'what is a game of throne, some videogame?' and i just say its a tv show about dragons and shit. about ten seconds pass...and then a second notification comes up saying that 'asa-akira-illegal-ass-3.avi' had finished downloading. silence.

Edited May 14, 2012 by conqueror

[mrchariybrown]

my mum was over the other day and wanted to use my computer to print out a map. she doesn't really know how to use google maps, so i was helping her find the joint so she could print it out. during this process, utorrent notified us that 'game.of.thrones.s02e06HDTV.mp4' had finished downloading. my mum asks something like 'what is a game of throne, some videogame?' and i just say its a tv show about dragons and shit. about ten seconds pass...and then a second notification comes up saying that 'asa-akira-illegal-ass-3.avi' had finished downloading. silence.

"Mom, it's a tv show about an Japanese assassin."