Superawkward

[saffronrevolution]

hahaha too fucking good

[NatseOklim]

I dunno, feels like a short story of a concept of awkward, rather than something that actually happened.

[jbanger]

hmmmmm, i think i've read that story before somewhere....

[baconzilla]

Wait so we don't have to post our own superawkward moments?

[oOmegaOo]

I really hope it was hers or I wish I could take my rep back. A woman caught watching porn would be too godlike.

[merry burger]

yeah unfortunately for me, definitely happened.

[lil brown brother]

what i take of merry's story .. she was wired .. she watched porn to get sleepy .. then blah blah blah ..

my thing is how come nobody asked if she rubbed one off to get sleepy

[fallen angels]

hmmmmm, i think i've read that story before somewhere....

this guy:

So earlier in the semester, I'm still trying to un-fuck my sleeping pattern because the new term begins the next day & I've got a 10AM class. So It's almost 4 and I still haven't slept, so I reach for my laptop, fire up good ol pornhub & rub one out ... shit does the trick so I close the lid & pass out.

Woke up, already late for class. Did my morning shit & got going. So I walk into a dead silent lecture hall, shit is already on full swing so I sit at the back to avoid attention & bring out my laptop .. open it up & there goes asa akira moaning at the top of her lungs.

As you can imagine, at this point i'm scrambling to close the page(s) but this is that period straight off of sleep mode when EVERYTHING is unresponsive. So, yeah I became that guy. Contemplated dropping the course but it's a program requirement. What made shit worse, we had tons of group sessions the entire year with rotating groups so it felt like I had to speak to everyone in the class at some point.

[ifeelasleep]

its happened to me when i had friends over, to my roommate too, i think its not that uncommon.

still funny tho.

Edited May 4, 2012 by ifeelasleep

[BearCousin]

one time my friend changed my ex gf's background to a picture of a huge wide open butthole & set her homepage to gapingasshole.com or some shit.. she opened it in class in front of everyone... she was pissed.

[tween_spirit]

lol if goatse isn't your homepage and hello.jpg isn't your wallpaper

[redX]

the wikipedia entry on goatse is hilarious. the description of the image is almost poetry

[jbanger]

this guy:

that's it

[saffronrevolution]

i think i would probably die of embarrassment / awkwardness if something like that happened to me. luckily, it seems like my left hand instinctively smashes cmd-Q on my keyboard immediately after watching porn, regardless of the setting, not sure if anyone else does this..

[philosophiliac]

soon as i'm done porn loses all appeal for me. can't close that shit fast enough

[merry burger]

here's an old superawk from when i was in undergrad and my mom had just learned how to use AIM and was all excited about staying in touch more often. i'd put up a quote from aqua teen as my away message.

[StrangeLove]

So how often ya masturbate?

[Denton]

a recurring theme is developing here

[mr.invincible]

what i take of merry's story .. she was wired .. she watched porn to get sleepy .. then blah blah blah ..

my thing is how come nobody asked if she rubbed one off to get sleepy

bump 567890

[philosophiliac]

^^ because it's kinda obvious? you're wired so you watch porn and get horny as well and then just turn it off and fall straight asleep in that state? don't think so mayne

flicking the bean was obviously implied

[fobsquad]

so the right question to be directed at merry burger should be

how many toys do you have?

[philosophiliac]

should start a betting pool. i'm guessing at least three. any takers?

i got 5 on it.

[home]

chilling out with my parents as we collectively watch a golf instructional video from the early 90's (don't ask). think tanned, british / australian pro in bright colours and high-waisted pants. there was a 5 minute period there where the instructor incessantly repeated the likes of grip the shaft, full wrist cock, jerk the club, descending blow. (i revert to my 14-year-old-self when i hear things like this.) it was almost as if he knew my predicament and was chanting this mantra of ridicule. they may be old, but they knew what was up, i'm sure.

we all sat in silence. so much silence.

Edited May 6, 2012 by home

[cheapmuthafukr]

so i was hanging out last night with some people and i walk into the apartment and they are checking out hypebeast. i say "oh, i used to be a moderater on that site." this girl looks at me and says"you had an account? thats awesome. superfuture is alot cooler tho."

fuck. ok... so its starting to get awkward... i say "yeah, ive been on ther since 05." she starts freaking out, saying she has a bunch of #menswear guys that she knows who posted on here... i didnt want to say anything else, but i had done a line of coke for the first time in maybe 4 years, so i started talking about sufu. the internet meeting real life is fucking weird... and i realized i see this place alot different than other people...

[StrangeLove]

Cocaines a helluva drug

[saffronrevolution]

but i had done a line of coke for the first time in maybe 4 years...

best twist to any story imo

[madstaxbro]

not a big one but maybe y'all can relate; was hanging outside a mall enjoying tobacco, nobody else around for a few minutes so i let some gas out. right as the stink begins to emanate these 3 fine, upstanding young women pop out for a smoke. one comes up to me i guess asking for a light and gives me that nasty look like she just smelled it and goes back to her friends says a few words and they all laughed and walk back inside looking back at me.

shame.

[dovo]

something similar happened to me once. my bad if i posted this before i can't remember. But i was at my old job chillin in customer service. coast was clear as fuck so you know, i let one out. right after passing gas my manager comes up to the cabinet which was right where i was standing and she had to kneel down next to my ass. she caught a whiff and immediately walked away without getting what she needed.

[merry burger]

Just finished the last final exam of the semester. The whole morning was a fucking shit show.

I get to school and I see one of my classmates. We have 10 minutes til the exam starts so we leisurely walk to the classroom. I put my shit down, get my pen out, set up my computer. My friend goes to sign in at the front and whips around, "Shit, we're in the wrong classroom!" We run up a flight of stairs, sprint down the hall to the right room, get settled in. My school uses this ridiculous software for people who want to take exams on their laptop that requires you to look up your exam code online before starting. My internet decides it doesn't want to work and I can't get my code. I'm sweating, freaking out, luckily there's I.T. people walking around helping people out. The 6', 300 pound I.T. dude comes over and starts mouthbreathing in my face and poking at random keys on my keyboard and slowly moving his finger around the trackpad, basically being useless. It's officially 9:29 a.m., one minute before the exam starts, and no one else can start the exam until I get my shit together. So everyone's starting at me. I'm staring at the I.T. guy who is now slowly making circles with my mouse and making a soft "uhhhhhhh" noise. I snap and shout unnaturally loudly, voice shaking, "Can I just see that for one second?" and the guy says, "Yeah sure... go ahead," while he gives me the "you stupid fuck" look. I get online. Get my code. Log into the exam program. Everyone's still waiting for me. My exam software closes down and says, "Unexpected error. Report/Ignore?" It's 9:32 and people are moaning and whispering shit. Meanwhile I'm half drifting in and out of consciousness from lack of sleep and everything feels surreal. Finally, it works!

The exam proctors are always these super mean old ladies. One comes over and says loudly, "Miss, we can't start until you put your bookbag in the back of the class." Of course, I'm in the front row, I have to go up these steps all the way to the back to put it away. Also, I got dressed at 7:30 a.m. while half asleep and suddenly realize I'm wearing a see-through dress and one boob is gently trying to turtle-head its way out of the top. I readjust, run back to my seat and realize that my computer is running out of battery and my charger is in my bag. I raise my hand and ask to get it. It's now 9:35. People want to kill me. I run back and get it, shaking. Then I realize the hem of my dress is stuck to my tights and I basically look like a crazy person with my pantyhosed ass almost peeking out, trying to hold back the tears. The exam finally starts at 9:38. Eight minutes late, but while it was happening, it felt like fucking forever.

Oh yeah, plus a mini-superawk: In this same class, I sat next to an international student from Puerto Rico. Earlier in the semester, we were discussing plus-size models so the professor passed around an old issue of Vogue featuring lots of bbws, like we're talking size 14+, xxl (no hate). The kid next to me looks at the magazine of this topless bbw model and looks at me, does the old up-and-down look, and says, "I like them better this way anyway," and winks at me. All I can muster as a response was, "Oh... thank you so much..."

Edited May 8, 2012 by merry burger

[e0d9n0b5]

lol that sucks