scoki

Superawkward

3,231 posts in this topic

i've been reading pages of this thread during the hours at work where there are no customers in site

dovo, i finally understand. you are the only person who has made me legitimately laugh out loud uncontrollably in a public place through the internet before. i hope to one day befriend someone just like you

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FUCKING SHIT.

so a little background before i go into this story... i've known this beezy for like 4 years and always had the feeling that she's been into me she's always been super flirty towards me no matter if she or i are/were in relationships. we'll call her chelsea A. chelsea A also lives 100 yards away from me and we sometimes carpool to school together. chelsea also has a boyfriend named andrew who actually likes me even though i hang with his beezy occasionally, so that's cool.

fast forward to today...

i text my friend bryan to see if he wants to go to the kings game with me tonight. Bryan also has a girlfriend whose name happens to be chelsea, we'll call her chelsea B. so im like hey bro, wanna go to the game? he says "yeah let me ask chelsea" he says yeah lets go... we discuss where to meet and he's like "i'll just come to your place you live by chelsea right, im gonna stay at her place tonight" im like yeah i didnt know your gf lives by me... he's like what are you talking about dude you guys ride to school together all the time... then it hit me... i'm like wtf... is this andrew?

turns out my buddy bryan changed his phone number... and andrew who is chelsea A's boyfriend got his old number... now im about to go to a kings game with some fuckin dude i barely know who is dating my friend.

how. the. fuck. does. this. happen.

sorry if this story is confusing (im still a little confused right now as well)

Edited by BearCousin
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today a man walks into job #2 of mine and asks for a medium iced coffee. while i'm ringing up his coffee, i realized that he's wearing a jesus shirt. he suddenly asks me the meaning of my tattoo. instead of telling him that it's from a movie/comic called 'suicide circle' and risking being preached at, i give him the condensed version -- "it's from a japanese book i really liked."

"oh yeah? my son loved old movies. and japanese things. like spirited away."

"oh! that's great! i love spirited away, it's one of my favorite movies. reminds me tons of my childhood."

"yeah.. my son really loved it. he just passed away 2 weeks ago."

waut.

i tell him i'm so sorry, how old was he

"11... it's from brain cancer.. he fought a good fight."

and then while i'm adding the shot of espresso in his iced coffee and the machine is super loud, and i'm simultaneously trying to add ice to his cup, which is also pretty loud, while a small line is forming behind him and he continues to talk about little anecdotes about his son. but i can't hear him because i'm making his drink, and i'm about ~15 feet away next to the machines, just far enough that he is still maintaining eye contact and speaking while choking up every other word.

i gave him a super discount, wished him a good day and hope all goes well for his family etc and he left. i felt uneasy for the rest of (2 hours) my shift.

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I was walking to work today and was super lazy so I decided to press the automatic door button shit. I had my headphones on so I couldn't really hear anything, when all of a sudden I hear this thud behind me. Apparently there was a woman that was yelling for me to hold the door open cause she was carrying a box, but I couldn't hear her obviously, so she had run into the closing automatic door trying to squeeze her way in. So I apologize and help her up. I walk her to the elevator and press the floor that I'm going to and ask her what hers was and she said it was the same. Pretty quiet all the way up 12 floors. Turns out that woman was to be my new department head.

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i was at what i thought was a pool party once and the girl hosting made a joke about my board-shorts being girl - coloured

i retorted that i wear her "mum's wardrobe and i took everything she has in this world"

this girl started to cry and her brother started to console her.

i was quietly led out and told that the reason everyone was at her house was that her mother had died of cancer the last week.

i left my things there.. got in my car and went straight home.

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i feel really awkward asking, but in all seriousness did you tell that story before or am i experiencing deja vu?

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yeh sorry i was gonna edit and say i think i told it before (at work right now) .. the reason posting was that 3 of the family happened to be in the same isle at the gorcery store this week.. they stopped talking and blanked me as they walked past.

yeh still awkward.

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Posted · Hidden by freecat, April 20, 2012 - No reason given

a few days ago, me and a girl I've been seeing for a few weeks were having a discussion on art. She wanted to look up a particular Manet painting on my computer, so she comes and sits on my lap (I'm sitting at my computer desk). I'm not really paying attention, either messing with my phone or feeling up on her or something, Then I hear her say "oooh your search history, I see you've been looking at my FB pictures and what is youjizz.com, huh?" Upon hearing this, I think of all the things I looked at earlier that day: porn sites, stalking her Facebook pictures, dudes in fashionable clothing, etc. I do a reflex bear hug on her and tackle her to the floor. She then says: What?! are you into some weird shit like child porno or something?? I said "NO! definitely not! I'm just a private person." I held her there awkwardly for like 2 or 3 minutes because I didn't know what to do and was embarrassed for reacting the way I did.

292676_3736293246348_1246606638_33580926_479844366_n.jpg

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Posted · Hidden by freecat, April 20, 2012 - No reason given

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a few days ago, me and a girl I've been seeing for a few weeks were having a discussion on art. She wanted to look up a particular Manet painting on my computer, so she comes and sits on my lap (I'm sitting at my computer desk). I'm not really paying attention, either messing with my phone or feeling up on her or something, Then I hear her say "oooh your search history, I see you've been looking at my FB pictures and what is youjizz.com, huh?" Upon hearing this, I think of all the things I looked at earlier that day: porn sites, stalking her Facebook pictures, dudes in fashionable clothing, etc. I do a reflex bear hug on her and tackle her to the floor. She then says: What?! are you into some weird shit like child porno or something?? I said "NO! definitely not! I'm just a private person." I held her there awkwardly for like 2 or 3 minutes because I didn't know what to do and was embarrassed for reacting the way I did.

71f5e48b755d1fc2584960a565706916.jpg

(i read quickly and posted that fuck bitches get monet image but quickly realized it was a manet your friend was looking at so i made this image quickly)

Edited by freecat
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getting caught looking at clothes is worse than looking at porn

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You totally should have framed the conversation to porn in art history.

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^ that happened to me too but not at the same level of awkward.. . at an old job in a camera store an older couple were looking at some canon i had something catch in my eye. i winked directly at her just as i handed her my business card after writing some numbers on it saying some generic sales line to the tune of ' come see me'.

were it a younger couple maybe the husband would have done something besides leave quickly.

i think that this couple felt more awkward than me though.

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a few days ago, me and a girl I've been seeing for a few weeks were having a discussion on art. She wanted to look up a particular Manet painting on my computer, so she comes and sits on my lap (I'm sitting at my computer desk). I'm not really paying attention, either messing with my phone or feeling up on her or something, Then I hear her say "oooh your search history, I see you've been looking at my FB pictures and what is youjizz.com, huh?" Upon hearing this, I think of all the things I looked at earlier that day: porn sites, stalking her Facebook pictures, dudes in fashionable clothing, etc. I do a reflex bear hug on her and tackle her to the floor. She then says: What?! are you into some weird shit like child porno or something?? I said "NO! definitely not! I'm just a private person." I held her there awkwardly for like 2 or 3 minutes because I didn't know what to do and was embarrassed for reacting the way I did.

Use google chrome incognito mode son.

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Posted · Hidden by mmfood, May 20, 2012 - No reason given

Use google chrome incognito mode son.

downloading Chrome

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I am alive and a-okay!

My girlfriend told me yesterday, "I know you think I'm crazy but in reality, I'm not. I'm not crazy. I'm just crazy for you."

I think it was her attempt to be romantic or something.

You know those religious people who speak in tongues? Like those evangelicals who go crazy and say gibberish to people because of the power of god or some shit? She thinks that's real. She told me she once spent half an hour 'channeling god' once. I am not sure what that means so I asked her. She said it was like she was on PCP and DMT at the same time, could see the entire universe, and could touch people's souls.

I am not sure if she was trying to be funny, if she was serious, or if she's just insane.

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