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Superawkward


scoki

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AND when you say something bad about someone and theyre listening,... and then you lock eyes.

thats superawkward

this girl who used to work at my store, decided to visit us one day recently after quitting, and with my back to the door my coworkers and I were talking about how she was telling us she placed "taken" on her facebook thingy so guys won't bug her (I don't have facebook so they were explaining it to me) but then that morning she had posted half nudes of herself on there for everyone to see

I'm pretty sure she heard us. it was superawkward when she came in with her friend, she went to the back and after awhile emerges and says goodbye, etc

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Guest Phrost
AND when you say something bad about someone and theyre listening,... and then you lock eyes.

thats superawkward

when i was 13ish i was tagging along to get school clothes. i somehow ended up at the dolce and gabbana (lol) outlet at woodbury commons and my brother asked me for my opinion on a shirt

i said it was gay and this chinaman jerked his head towards me. he kept on trying to lock eyes with me but i wasn't having it. nigga looked furious when i didn't even direct the gay comment towards him. closet butt pillaging self loathing gays smh

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don't have many awkward moments these days, dunno why

but one thing that does make me feel awkward is when im on a train or in some public setting and I'm sweating and everyone else is cool

but the sweat usually accentuates my chest and neck so I end up looking cool anyways

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Guest Phrost
don't have many awkward moments these days, dunno why

but one thing that does make me feel awkward is when im on a train or in some public setting and I'm sweating and everyone else is cool

but the sweat usually accentuates my chest and neck so I end up looking cool anyways

you one of those niggas that have just one blotchy sweat stain in the middle of their back

i don't like that shit

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sophmore ear in high school i was eating lunch wit some friends, I just started seeing this girl. So im eating and my friend asks for a ride after school i tell him that i dont have my car, He asks why and i just say my parents took it away cuz i came home late last night.

The guy across of me is the girl that i was seeing Ex and a total douxhe bag, he says haha what did you do that u came home so late? and i said i was with XXXXX at her house. and it was dead silent for like 5 literal minutes.

ackward

but it gets worse

then the dumbass like just throws his hand on the table and hella loudly says DUDE!! O MY GOD isnt XXXXXX HELLLAAA GOOD KISSER?!!?!? damn..

i was just like ughh yea

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okok so this is freshman year

i was like a ladies man kinda and i was good friends with this girl. good looking nothing amazing, anyways im from europe and have an accent so i was the foriegn kid and this girl would always smack my ass, so i would come and smack her ass randomly too and it became into this game. Anyways we did this for a long time

then i saw her at lunch smacked her ass and added a little squeeze, girl turns around and its not her, SUPER ACKKWARD!!!

ok the girl whose ass i play games with, i go up to her couple months later, still friends and stuff, and i go up to her during her lunch and she is sittting down and i put my crotch of mah pants right behind her head so when she turns its like right there, tap her on the shoulder and its not her! its the same girl who i accidentatly grabbed and squeezed ass, ACKWARD!!!

Ok this is sophmore year, i was kiinda talking to this hot ass junior girl, she drove so i asked if we could carpool and yea things went good, anyway we played this game where you like walk next to the person but kick them in the butt by like bringing ur leg up and like i dunno how to explain it but we are walking to our lockers and doing this, when we both do it at the same time and our feet get tangled and we trip, she falls over like timber (this girl is like #1 recruit for waterpolo and is like 6 2 but is skinny and blond) and she just falls flat on her face, feel so bad

next couple min were super awk walking together

OK couple months later i decide, now or never ill ask her out, so the guys team get out of practice and theyre convinceing me to do it, and im like ugh okay, hella nervous and i go up to her right before the girls team gets in the water and im like so i was thinking like tmrw when you get out of practice i was thinking we should get some dinner and watch a movie. and she is like what? and i repeat but i already knew i failed, then she says im sorry michael but i have dinnner, and then she gives me a hug and the coach is like ur not her type, the whole team watching too...

anyways next day, ackward carpool ride

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when i sometimes can't remember the drink order of regular customers i've seen everyday for months and have to ask them what they want.

years ago my sister was giving swimming lessons to a group of little kids. one of them was mentally handicapped and grabbed her boobs in front of everyone.

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so background info:

my boss is like a straight edge guy, snowboards, youth leader at his church, blahblahblah, doesnt smoke doesnt drink, never done a drug in his life, never ditched school, went to biola for business; whatever.

although he has this on his profile, he still cusses, talks about dirty things about women, laughs about crude humor etc etc.. i mean the guy once sent me a picture w/ an old dude in his 40's w/ his arm around this little kid like spooning him.. suggesting a pedophile; whatever.

so like the past few days at work there has been some awkward silences like i say something that he think isn't appropriate and tells me to quit it. AWKWARD

like this guy is totally backwards he even told me that i couldn't say fuck all the time..even though he uses it like every other sentence.

idk what to think anymore

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i got called out by an old friend for giving him an ass-out hug on saturday, and then he demanded i redo it.

but i often give boys ass-out hugs because your feet are so damn big i end up getting stepped on or vice-versa

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Out at a gig and there's a girl there I swear I recognise, finally she puts on her glasses and I realise I hooked up with her at a party the week before, then the first guy who played at the gig comes over and I realise she's got a boyfriend and I've been straight up staring at her on and off for the last 10 minutes, and breezed past her when I walked in without even nodding.

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i got called out by an old friend for giving him an ass-out hug on saturday, and then he demanded i redo it.

but i often give boys ass-out hugs because your feet are so damn big i end up getting stepped on or vice-versa

is this when your tits are smooshed on his chest?

or the bottom regions match up?

when once-innocent hugs get semi-sexual... :( maybe that's why the ass-out? no vag to peen sammich?

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okok so this is freshman year

i was like a ladies man kinda and i was good friends with this girl. good looking nothing amazing, anyways im from europe and have an accent so i was the foriegn kid and this girl would always smack my ass, so i would come and smack her ass randomly too and it became into this game. Anyways we did this for a long time

then i saw her at lunch smacked her ass and added a little squeeze, girl turns around and its not her, SUPER ACKKWARD!!!

ok the girl whose ass i play games with, i go up to her couple months later, still friends and stuff, and i go up to her during her lunch and she is sittting down and i put my crotch of mah pants right behind her head so when she turns its like right there, tap her on the shoulder and its not her! its the same girl who i accidentatly grabbed and squeezed ass, ACKWARD!!!

Ok this is sophmore year, i was kiinda talking to this hot ass junior girl, she drove so i asked if we could carpool and yea things went good, anyway we played this game where you like walk next to the person but kick them in the butt by like bringing ur leg up and like i dunno how to explain it but we are walking to our lockers and doing this, when we both do it at the same time and our feet get tangled and we trip, she falls over like timber (this girl is like #1 recruit for waterpolo and is like 6 2 but is skinny and blond) and she just falls flat on her face, feel so bad

next couple min were super awk walking together

OK couple months later i decide, now or never ill ask her out, so the guys team get out of practice and theyre convinceing me to do it, and im like ugh okay, hella nervous and i go up to her right before the girls team gets in the water and im like so i was thinking like tmrw when you get out of practice i was thinking we should get some dinner and watch a movie. and she is like what? and i repeat but i already knew i failed, then she says im sorry michael but i have dinnner, and then she gives me a hug and the coach is like ur not her type, the whole team watching too...

anyways next day, ackward carpool ride

vqtl53.gif

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i saw whizkit in the train today and totally didn't know how to react. there was that look in the eye and the awkward pause. wth. he was taller than i thought he was and so much skinnier than he looks in photos.

oh sup whizkit. :)

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Hahah when i first saw him in person I was like "shit the dude is really, really tall."

Girl in my class has hairy upper lip and arms, i kept looking @ hair until our eyes met. Somehow i think she know and she has been avoiding me since. Whatever.

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i saw whizkit in the train today and totally didn't know how to react. there was that look in the eye and the awkward pause. wth. he was taller than i thought he was and so much skinnier than he looks in photos.

oh sup whizkit. :)

Taking the train?

DAT NIGGA IS SUPPOSED TO BE SAVING MONEY TO VISIT ME IN MACAU.

W

A

L

K

MORE, TRAIN LESS.

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  • 1 month later...

So my Mom and I had my son today while my wife was working. We were driving around a more rural area looking at homes for sale and we came across a pumpkin patch on a family farm. Luke's almost 2, so it sounded like a good idea to stop and let him run around and buy some pumpkins. One sign said it was open, but another said they closed 20 minutes ago. I decided to drive in, kind of a ways back onto the property, and to my relief saw a bunch of other cars and other families running around and whatnot. Luke's super excited. We get out and start walking around, and this place is right out of a family movie. Kids laughing, old guy bbqing, the whole package. No one comes up and asks us if we need help, so we're just kind of standing around while Luke is playing and having fun. After about 20 minutes, we ask one of the ladies if there's anyone there who could help us. Luke already picked out his pumpkins and all. She says "no, this is my sister's farm, and we're all here for a family birthday party. You're here after they already closed to the public." I'm like, shit. Awwwkkkwwwaaarrrddd... So I pick up Luke and apologize, he's crying super loud, and we load up and go. I was kind of halfway embarrassed for invading their party (which looked like a lot of fun. They had a fucking huge trebuchet that was launching pumpkins like 50+ yards), but more so angry 'cause someone could have just come over and nicely said it was a private party. Not like it takes a lot of time for me to hand off $50 and load up some gourds. Anyhow, kind of long story, but I felt hella uncomfortable.

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I ended up taking him to one of those suburban pumpkin patches, you know, the dirt lot ones they change to a Christmas tree lot or a fireworks booth depending on the season... Kind of a shitty alternative, but they had a bounce house so he was stoked.

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