Superawkward

[YasserG]

http://www.vice.com/en_au/shorties/we-got-twenty-british-strangers-who-arent-models-to-kiss-each-other?utm_source=vicefbanz

oh god

nooooooOOOoooooooo

[fads]

the TSA is always awkward. i took my margiela 5 zip to the scanner and the guy called me over to inspect the diagonal zips while i explained to him fashun pockets.

[YasserG]

Was standing in the TSA security check line at the airport this weekend. It's as pleasant as a line at the airport can get. People are talking about their trip, where they're going, smokin and jokin. One of the TSA agents had to extend the line behind me so people could wrap around. The lady behind me wearing pants the color of magma was the first person to have to walk 15-20 feet more in order to catch up to the end of the line and this prompted her to go on a loud rant to the TSA agent about how happy she is to go home and how much she hated her stay in this city and this further proves to her how she'll never come back to this shithole town where everything that can go wrong does go wrong.

 

We're in a tightly compact line filled with citizens of the city out for travel, kids, and a cheerleading squad all in a murmuring quiet after her rant. Also one of the scanners broke and we were down to one guy scanning the entire line. So we stood like this for a good 30 minutes.

What's awkward about this?

[dovo]

really cute curvy blonde amazon chick covered in tattoos comes up to the register. Im ringing her up, she says some hilarious shit and i start laughing but nervously because im a dweeb..and then i fart because im not sure why. 

 

she got quiet. I got sweaty. It got weird. 

[Fycus]

 Because that happens a lot to me and I always try to cough a fart sound or wiggle in my chair.

Protip: nobody is buying it. 

 

Ive had gas at work and while sitting in my chair I gotta lean to the side to let it rip. Every now and then somebody comes up to me to ask a question right after bust ass. I can't help but feel bad when somebody has to try to ask me a question whilst simultaneously smelling my colon. 

[Trouble]

.

Edited August 4, 2014 by Trouble

[baldy]

Protip: nobody is buying it. 

 

Ive had gas at work and while sitting in my chair I gotta lean to the side to let it rip. Every now and then somebody comes up to me to ask a question right after bust ass. I can't help but feel bad when somebody has to try to ask me a question whilst simultaneously smelling my colon.

I actually fuk wit my coworkers a couple times and after I rip one I call someone over to look at something at my desk to let them bask in it until they realize there's nothing to look at

[gettoasty]

i just hold it in until 6pm when everyone is basically gone 

[Sentimental]

That awkward moment when you have to fart but than you dont want anyone to smell it. But you cant hold it in, so you fart anyway hoping that no one smells it. But than people start looking around like "who farted?" Than you get nervous cause the suspicion would fall on you, so you act dumb like " I didn't do it" Then everyone just sits there awkwardly inhaling my fart miasma. 

[gettoasty]

and if i do fart with some lingering bodies still in the office, and from the corner of my eye I spot them coming in my room, i'll just get up and walk to another location to air out (in case they go near my desk, where all the filing cabinets are, in which case they'd just smell a bad odor think its their own b/o or breath)

[e0d9n0b5]

holy shit toasty you are the definition of this thread

 

sometimes i'll walk over to my coworkers desk just to fart in his space. ride or die.

[phen3N]

relevant video. (fart always follows you. walking away doesn't really work unless you get a pretty huge headstart)

 

[gettoasty]

^hahahahahahaaaa

[andrewisdope]

I'm stalking a coworker I barely know on facebook on my phone. We are not FB friends and I've literally spoken 10 words to her ever. She sits a row behind me. While swiping, I accidentally click on a video she posted giving a birthday shout out to her friend. I forgot to put my phone on silent and the volume was up all the way. "HEEEEEEEEY ____________ HAPPY BIRTHDAY I LOVEEEE YOUUUU MUUUAAAH"

 

For the record, when you're playing a video on Facebook and you hit the silent switch, it does not cut off what's already playing. I know she heard it. Goddammit. 

[gettoasty]

^haha! time to make your move, its now or never

 

i mean, its already out there so yeah...

[Scais]

tonight this lady came into the bar with a low low cut dress. She was from new york and had moved to san francisco to continue her jewelry company. After a few a drinks and about an hour and a half of her talking to me she closes out and gets up to leave. As she gets up one of her titties pops out and (my bar once being a sushi bar and thus alot lower than a traditional bar) i get a full tit in the face just BAM eye level. All this time she was continuing talking about places she wanted to open a boutique titty out like haaaaay.

 

they were nice.

nips were kinda big.

[jbanger]

^ did you bang doe?

[Fycus]

tonight this lady came into the bar with a low low cut dress. She was from new york and had moved to san francisco to continue her jewelry company. After a few a drinks and about an hour and a half of her talking to me she closes out and gets up to leave. As she gets up one of her titties pops out and (my bar once being a sushi bar and thus alot lower than a traditional bar) i get a full tit in the face just BAM eye level. All this time she was continuing talking about places she wanted to open a boutique titty out like haaaaay.

 

they were nice.

nips were kinda big.

 

hit me up with where u work id be down to get a drink if that is the scene

[acerbicb]

1. ingested broccoli and hot cheetoes doused in Valentina (viva mexico)

2. started making out

3. started taking clothes off

4. put my fingers inside the person

5. hear moans, assume good things

6. moans seem a little distraught

7. person pulls my hand out

8. did you eat hot cheetoes with that hand?'

9. yes, I think I di-- *burps broccoli and hot cheetoes into person's face*

10. *silence*

[bfan]

spelled cheetos wrong, I only point that out because it's spelled out for you on the bag.

[gettoasty]

You missing the point, he stuck hot Cheetos fingers into her vagina. Imagine that sensation she got, I can't

That's not even awkward, acer. Some may find it erotic. Bad breath happens, remember to brush your teeth next time if meeting up with someone next time. Mints / gum helps

[Denton]

please explain further, do tell

[fads]

hot Cheetos fingers into her vagina. Imagine

[Spaghettini]

1. ingested broccoli and hot cheetoes doused in Valentina (viva mexico)

2. started making out

3. started taking clothes off

4. put my fingers inside the person

5. hear moans, assume good things

6. moans seem a little distraught

7. person pulls my hand out

8. did you eat hot cheetoes with that hand?'

9. yes, I think I di-- *burps broccoli and hot cheetoes into person's face*

10. *silence*

 

[andrewisdope]

 

 

you didn't think to wash your hands? 

Edited March 24, 2014 by andrewisdope

[CASSAVA PIECE]

you guys are savages

[Scais]

hit me up with where u work id be down to get a drink if that is the scene

 

I wish it were like that all the time. Most of the time its just business people and families traveling. Gotta appreciate the exciting times when they come. Life of a hotel bartender.

[Vampyrvargfesten]

1. ingested broccoli and hot cheetoes doused in Valentina (viva mexico)

2. started making out

3. started taking clothes off

4. put my fingers inside the person

5. hear moans, assume good things

6. moans seem a little distraught

7. person pulls my hand out

8. did you eat hot cheetoes with that hand?'

9. yes, I think I di-- *burps broccoli and hot cheetoes into person's face*

10. *silence*

 

 

You missing the point, he stuck hot Cheetos fingers into her vagina. Imagine that sensation she got, I can't

That's not even awkward, acer. Some may find it erotic. Bad breath happens, remember to brush your teeth next time if meeting up with someone next time. Mints / gum helps

 

hey buddy... you're jumping to conclusions?

 

it was never disclosed if "person" was male, female, or trans

how are you to assume if "person" was "female" and that fingers went into "her vagina"

[Kaf]

coulda been a dudes mouth (or worse), i never seen female eat hot cheetos. would explain distraught moans.

[gettoasty]

you got me, i was projecting too much! doh